Ladies and Gentlemen –
The final whistle has blown on the 2020 College Football Season and the University of Alabama Crimson Tide are the Champions (once again) of College Football.
And might I add for me personally, that last game was sweeter than a bottle of chocolate Yoo-Hoo.
It’s time to call this season a “wrap” so let’s get to it.
2020 College Football Season Rewind…
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator finished the Championship week with a 1 and 0 record and unless you are from Onslow North Carolina, that equates to 100%.
EDITORS NOTE: There is a reason they call people from Onslow, “O’ So Slow”, just saying.
The CFB Wizard finished the 2020 College Football Season with a rather impressive 497 and 105 or 83% record. In case you were wondering; “NO” there will not be an asterisk next to my record or anybody else’s this season.
Just so you know
2021 QUARANTINE SAFETY TIP
In these uncertain times, it’s important to keep a healthy outlook on life.
We are fortunate here at The CFB Wizard to have Country Music Superstar Sylacauga Ledbetter to provide some relief to disgruntled Buckeye fans in the form of a comforting original piece he wrote and will preform for you here, before he embarks his on a nation-wide tour.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS
ESPN: I certainly don’t pretend to speak for every singe college football fan here.
But I will say that before the end of the 1st quarter of the National Championship game I was wishing “commentators” Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler would be forced to wear shock collars and get an electric jolt each time they would gush and slobber over “the” Ohio State Buckeyes.
I will leave this one right here
OHIO STATE: I couldn’t help but notice that the back of the Buckeye football helmets says; “Equality”
You got the same “equal” ass whipping everybody else got from Alabama all season.
Is that what you were looking for?
THE GAME: To put this into some kind of perspective for you at home.
The National Championship game was Alabama’s fifth game in a row without a break.
In contrast, that game was Ohio State’s third game in a row and prior to that they had been given (By the Big Ten Conference) two weeks off to prepare for Northwestern.
I would also like to add, that after playing so few a game’s as Ohio State I was a bit amazed that so many Buckeye’s and their fans were talking so much trash before the game.
Former Ohio State Heisman Trophy Winner Eddie George said;
“Nobody can play with Ohio State, including Alabama”
Buckeye Coach Ryan Day said this in the locker room that one of his players recorded:
“I don’t care if it’s against Clemson, against Bama, or against Notre Dame, we’re gonna [expletive] beat their ass, I promise you,” Day said on the video. “Just give us that one chance. And we don’t have to beat them 10 times, we don’t have to beat them 20 times, we got to beat them how many times? Once, that’s it. You’re two games away from playing in the national [expletive] championship.”
These statements didn’t age very well, did they?
Note to self, watch what you say, it may come back to bite you in the ass.
ALABAMA: Thanks Coach….
THE CFB WIZARD EMAILS Q and A
Q: Dear Sir,
Let me introduce myself. I am the world famous televangelist, Jimmy Swaggart.
As you are probably already aware, I am known far and wide for my television ministries and miracles that I provide every day people.
I have a favor to ask of you, if I may be so bold. I need to know if you have any contact information or know the whereabouts of Coach Urban Myer because he owes me a considerable amount of money.
If you recall, while at the University of Florida, he resigned as head coach because of heart issues. He was so concerned that he approached me about healing him. After we settled upon a substantial fee (I don’t come cheap!!! HaHaHa),
I proceeded to lay hands on him and he was miraculously healed!!! Time went by, he became head coach at Ohio State and he came down with some rare form of brain tumor.
I should have known better, but after a conversation where he assured me that he would pay another rather substantial fee, I agreed and performed the healing. He now owes me a hefty 7 digit “contribution” and is nowhere to be found.
I need to collect because, among other things, my mansion and limo are in need of replacement. I hope you can assist me quickly because I know it’s only a matter of time before he takes that Jacksonville Jaguars job and he’s going to need another major organ healing and I just can’t extend him any more credit
Family Worship Center
Baton Rouge, La
A: I understand your frustration Reverend.
But I just have one question
When are you going to cure him of his leprosy?
Q: Hey Mister Wizard!
I have a question for you, ok?
Do you think Cincinnati should have been in the college football playoffs?
Banana – Cincinnati, Ohio
A: I can’t get to your question without asking about your name.
Your name is “Banana”?
“IF” you tell me your full name is Banana Hannah Bo-Bana, I am going to pee myself.
Q: Hey there, Dizzy Wizzy
You know I ain’t usually a “tolja so” so guy, but I’ll go ahead and say it… TOLJA SO!!! Everybody got their panties in a lil ole wad after I said lil ole Ohio State shouldn’t be in the College Football Championship game last month. Well, guess what??? I WAS RIGHT!!!
Didja see how they stunk up the joint in Miami Monday night???
And why did that happen??? Cause they only played like 5 or 6 games during their regular season!!! I mean, look at who their toughest games were against before they got to the playoff!!! Indi-fricken-ana?!? North-doggone-western?!?!!!
Are you serious? Your 2 biggest games are against a couple of teams who ain’t won nothin’ since Hitler was taking chemical science at the University of Berlin????
I know what you’re gonna say, but let me stop you right dead in your tracks. Yeah, lil ole Clemson got beat by the Buckeyes, but c’mon. We play in the ACC and our whole schedule is about the same as playin’ D-II cupcakes all season.
So, tell everybody to just SHUT THE HECK UP!!! I WAS RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME
A: Coach can you please for love of all that’s Holy, just keep your damn yapper shut.
Q: Alabama got lucky as hell!
IF our quarterback and our running back hadn’t had been hurt, we would have wiped the damn floor with you bunch of damn inbreed hicks!
Shirley – Columbus, Ohio
A: I absolutely LOVE the “What IF Game”!
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
What “IF” Caesar had a Cessna? Would we all be speaking Italian?
What “IF” Spartacus had a Piper Cub?
What “IF” worms carried .45’s then birds wouldn’t screw with them.
I can do this all day, shall I continue?
Q: I hope Covid-19 take’s it’s course and kills all you stupid redneck hillbillies.
Buckeye Mama 7-0 @hangonsloopy93 – Columbus, Ohio
A: Gosh you seem nice, I bet you are fun at church picnics.
But I do need to correct you on one fine point.
Shouldn’t your “handle” be 7-1?
Time to update your profile!
Q: Dear sir,
I am Dr. Sheldon Jacobson, esteemed fellow and professor of computer science at the University of Illinois. I just want you to know that the attention I have been getting about incorrectly predicting deaths in the FBS ranks of College Football if their season is played is highly inaccurate.
I’m a PROFESSOR, sir. Does that mean anything to you or your miscreant, deranged readers? Can you even spell the word.
My cerebral ponderings and predictions are based in well thought out postulates and theorems that you, the less educated, can only gape and gawk at.
As you know, I predicted back in June that if we misguidedly and callously allowed the College football to proceed we would see anywhere in the range 3 to 7 deaths among these vulnerable student athletes.
Some say this was not accurate. Some will say this prediction didn’t come true. I say phooey to that. Evidence?
Did you see the national championship game Monday? If so then you witnessed the complete and utter annihilation of the Ohio State football team. Yes, Alabama absolutely killed the Buckeyes, and thusly, proved my prediction correct. So, please, take your unfounded and illiterate criticisms of my meticulous studies and predictions back to your respective trailer parks and try again.
Dr. Sheldon Jacobson
University of Illinois
A: What you witnessed on Monday night was what we in Alabama like to call;
Joyless Murder Ball, Roll Tide
We will have a complete end of the college football season wrap-up next week to include the virtual CFB Wizard College Football Awards and a few other things to take you into 2021.
I have been a little busy with the new book, But…..
I “hope” to have a “new” on Mikerights.com for you next week too.
There is more on the way next week
So, Stay tuned
One More Thing….
It’s been quite a year
I want to take this opportunity to thank you all again for reading both websites and going along with “Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab and myself through this college football season.
I can’t begin to tell you all how very much we appreciate it.
Be good to one another and to yourselves this week.
Keep the Faith
THE CFB WIZARD