Ladies and Gentlemen –
Some of you are already despondent and depressed this college football season.
Don’t be! Your season isn’t over yet! There are still a lot o games to be played!
Have some faith in your team, your school and your fan base!
The season is NOT Over for you!!
Notable exceptions to this rule:
Tennessee, Kansas, The PAC 12 Conference and Florida State…..
Enjoy Your Picks…
Weekend Rewind…..
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator did marginally better in week two than week one but certainly nothing to brag about going 60 and 7 last week or 89% leaving The CFB Wizard at 118 and 14 or 88% for the 2019 College Football Season.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention September 11th in this week’s article.
Before it became a day of infamy in America it was known more in Alabama as Coach Bryant’s Birthday. He would have been 106 years old yesterday and just for the record,
“IF” he was alive today….
I would still be scared to death of him.
EMAIL(S) OF THE WEEK
Q: Question for you sir…..
Is there anybody in College Football Land that is better at Prognostication or Picks as many games as you do during the entire College Football Season?
Thanks
Charles – Las Vegas, Nevada
A: Thank you for the kind words Charles…..
I am not sure who does what “out there” all I know is in the immortal words of that iconic athletic legend Nature Boy Rick Flair….
Q: YOU SUCK!
That was a fake ass letter from the Fan Portal and we Volunteer Fans ain’t a going No WHERES! YOU Here me!
Volunteer for Damn LIFE – Strawberry Plains, Tennessee
Q: %$#@! YOU Jackass!
The Volnteeers are NOT done YET Boy!
You can kiss Smokey’s Ass
BIG Orange Nation – Spencer, Tennessee
Q: Go ahead say something smartass about Michigan, You Piece of ^%$#!
Your website sucks!
Maze and Blue RULES! – Detroit, Michigan
Q: We ALL Know you can’t stand Florida State!!
So don’t even try and hide it, it MUST be your Alabama envy coming out!
(I hope you die)
Seminole Wind – Tallahassee, Florida
A: I really don’t know where all the hate is coming from this week…..
Maybe this will help….
COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS!
COMMENTATORS: You know, there are dumbasses and then there are dumbasses….
Take for example Colin Cowherd…..
Or as I affectionately call him, “Colon Cow Turd”
After Michigan barely escaped Army last week after (Two Overtimes…)
This is what this dumbass had to say…..
“Michigan wins,” Cowherd wrote. “One of the things I really like about Harbaugh. He teases lesser teams. Makes them feel like they have a chance. Then he pulls it out really late in the game. The great ones can do that. More later.”
EDITORS NOTE: “Yeah” and this guy is a professional journalist ….
Then we have FOX Sports “commentator” Gus “Gibbering Idiot” Johnson…
This complete idiot “calls” games for the Big Ten (Thank God…) but his annoying over the damn top chatter than seemingly never stops is not only ridiculous with his attempt at catch phrases (That make zero damn sense) is only rivaled in stupidity by one person…
I will tell you what you already know…..
“IF” these two dumbasses are EVER calling them same game together…..
Your ears will bleed and the earth will implode (Look it up it’s in the Bible)
OHIO STATE: Up in Columbus…
While college football fans were celebrating beer sales in some stadiums…
Ohio State just outdid EVERYBODY!!!
How about a tasty bacon treat to enjoy while watching the ball game!!!
Save the neck for me!
KANSAS: You lose last week (At Home) to Coastal Carolina…..
Let that one sink in for a minute
TEXAS: I remember the Longhorn quarterback say last year…..
“WEEEREEEEEEEEEE BACK!”
EDITORS NOTE: NOOOOOOOOOOOO You are NOT!
But on a positive note Mack Brown is 2-0 at North carolina….
You are welcome
MICHIGAN: After finally defeating Army last week in double overtime….
The Wolverine players jumped into the stands and generally showed their collective asses like they defeated the New England Patriots.
But to make matters even more comical or sad (take your pick…)
The Michigan Band played (Wait for it..)
“Hail to the Victors…”
EDITORS NOTE: A “little” premature don’t you think?
TENNESSEE: Not only was the Volunteer Football team a dumpster fire against Georgia State and Brigham Young….
But, one of the boats from the “Vol Navy” apparently got too close to the flames, caught fire, and sank!!!
But there is some good news for the depression that is sweeping Rocky Top….
I send this on to you fans in Orange, why?
Because I care
CLEMSON: Meanwhile at Clemson….
Apparently you can get this handy dandy ‘Star Athlete Headband Wig’ at Amazon for the nominal fee of $19.95……
Now you can ‘be’ Trevor Lawrence…
I’m waiting for the Jeremy Pruitt Cone Head wig to come out
Should be a best seller
THE GAMES
Friday 13 September
North Carolina at Wake Forest
Count one up for AARP, Mack goes 3-0….
Believe it
TAR HEELS 33-17
Kansas at Boston College
No Friday the 13th Curse here….
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 34-10
Washington State at Houston
Two Cougars meet on Friday night…..
(No wait that sounded dirty, I am sorry…)
MIKE’S CATS 44-21
Saturday 14 September
Arkansas State at Georgia
Nope, not even close….
SMART DAWGS 41-14
Ohio State at Indiana
I guess this is some “kind of” BIG rivalry in the whatever the number is conference
Yet, we still don’t care
BLACKEYES 241-3
Pittsburgh at Penn State
This is always a tussle between these two rivals ….
I am going with the big cats in this one
NITTANY LIONS 33-24
North Dakota State at Delaware
I haven’t seen any Bison run in Delaware but I have seen an obese woman in Wal-Mart in Tennessee Orange “Baby Girl” sweat pants. (Just saying…)
MIGHTY BISON 33-28
Miami (Ohio) at Cincinnati
Another matchup in the Buckeye State……
Just so YOU know, there are NO Palm Trees in Miami, Ohio….
BEARKATS 41-10
Delta State at Grand Valley State
I still believe in the power of the okra….
FEAR THE OKRA 31-28
Chattanooga at Tennessee
Believe it or not, this one may be closer than you think….
VOWELS 3-2
Kansas State at Mississippi State
Beware Bulldogs…..
This one will be close (close, close)
BULLYDOGS 28-24
Furman at Virginia Tech
Whatever….
HOKIE POKIE 44-21
North Carolina State at West Virginia
The Mountaineers are play as of late is rougher than the roads through Morgantown
WOLFPACK 31-21
Arkansas Monticello at Harding
I know Bo and Bo knows Weevils
(Yeah sometimes it’s just that simple)
BO’S WEEVILS 33-31
Ouachita Baptist at Arkansas Tech
I don’t know the religious affiliation of those that attend Tech…..
But they are about to get Baptized this Saturday…
GOTCHA BAPTIST 34-17
Eastern Michigan at Illinois
Nobody cares…
FIGHTING PUMPKINS 21-10
Maryland at Temple
This game is going to be uglier than margarita night at the nursing home….
NINJA TURTLES 63-10
Citadel at Georgia Tech
Actually…..
This one will be closer than you might think….
YELLOW JACKETS 28-24
Air Force at Colorado
I wish I could pick the Mighty Falcons in this game….
I just can’t (Sorry)
WYNOONA’S 41-21
New Mexico at Notre Dame
Yippee
FIGHHHTTIN ERRRISH 51-10
Alabama at South Carolina
It’s going to be close my friends…
Believe it
CRIMSON TIDE 34-28
Stanford at Central Florida
Golden Knights win this game and immediately declares themselves Champions of the PAC 12 Conference! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(Time for another parade!)
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 44-28
East Carolina at Navy
GOOOOOOOOOOOO NAVY…(I have to say that, it’s in my contract)
MIDSHIPMEN 33-31
Memphis at South Alabama
As the King of Rock and Roll would say…..
“Thank you, thank you very much…”
ELVIS’S TIGERS 38-14
Army at Texas San Antonio
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARMY!!! (Please see Navy above..)
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 28-17
Southern California at Brigham Young
I am going with Donny and Marie on this one….
(Primarily because I can’t decide “IF” I am a little more rock and roll than country)
COUGARS 28-24
Georgia Southern at Minnesota
Yeah you read this one correctly….
FREE BIRDS 24-21
Nevada Las Vegas at Northwestern
Seriously, we don’t care
WILDCATS 44-10
Ohio Dominion at Valdosta State
What in the hell?
When did the Dominican Republic move to Ohio?
That last Hurricane must have been worse than I thought
BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZERS 44-17
St Olaf at Luther
I will tell you what you already know here…
Ole Luther is going to get his ass kicked
OLLIES 33-10
Oklahoma State at Tulsa
This game is going to get out of hand quicker than Bill Clinton at a Pedophile Party
(What? Too Soon?)
COWBOYS 49-17
Arizona State at Michigan State
I really wish I cared but I don’t
SPARTANS 34-21
Iowa at Iowa State
Somebody is going to get a Big Ole Trophy made of Corn out of this game…
Yeah I am serious….
HAWKEYES 33-31
Rand McNally Louisiana at Ole Miss
Some directional college in Bayou Country gets a pay check and an ass whopping.
FOAM RUBBER COL SANDERS BLACK BEAR LAND/SAND SHARKS 63-10
Colorado State at Arkansas
I wish I had better news…..
RAM TOUGH 31-28
Louisville at Western Kentucky
No “Upset” here (Sorry)
CARDINALS 41-21
Beth’s Cookies at Miami
Some bakery in Miami is playing the Hurricanes….
Yeah that’s all I got for this one
HURRICANES 44-17
Indiana State at Utah
Sycamores and Ute’s
Yippee..
TWO UTES 44-17
North Texas at California
Don’t rule out the Mean Green in this one….
Just saying
DA BEARS 34-31
California Poly at Oregon State
I was going to make a “Poly Beaver” joke here but thought better of it…
BEAVER CLEAVER 34-31
South Carolina State at South Florida
Despite the recent setbacks I still have faith in the Boys from Tampa…
That’s..
NO BULL 41-24
Southern Miss at Troy
It’s going to be close….
Believe it
GOLDEN EAGLES 28-24
Ohio at Marshall
A Battle on the Ohio River….
It’s always a good one
WE ARE MARSHALL 33-31
Kent State at Auburn
I am waiting on Florida and Kentucky to start…
Sorry…
WAR DAMN EAGLE 51-10
Florida at Kentucky
Lightening doesn’t strike twice in the same place….
It’s a rule
MIGHTY GATORS 34-17
Lamar at Texas A&M
What in the Hell was Lamar thinking?
GIG EM AGGIES 427-3
St Lawrence at Norwich
I cannot support an institution based upon lies…..
I happen to know for a fact that “Larry” was no Saint
TERRRRRRIERS 28-17
Alabama A&M at North Alabama
Come on Big Cats….
FLORENCE LIONS 34-33
Texas State at Southern Methodist
I do love to watch the Ponies Run…..
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 41-24
Duke at Middle Tennessee State
I wish Duke had a quarterback named “Earl” then he could be “The Duke of Earl”
(Sometimes I wish for too much)
BLUE DEVILS 38-34
Clemson at Syracuse
This was a heck of a game last year….
This year, not so much
DABO’S TIGERS 44-21
Northwestern State at LSU
There is no easy way to make a complete massacre sound enticing
(Unless of course you are into that kind of thing)
FIGHTN’ TIGERS 514-3
Hawaii at Washington
Big Dogs Bounce Back after last week….
Believe it
HUSKIES 41-28
Texas Christian at Purdue
“Doc” the World famous Lab insisted on making this pick….
Either that or he wants another treat
HORNED DOGS 33-31
Southeast Missouri State at Missouri
(Please see the LSU game above)
MO’S TIGERS 212-3
Florida State at Virginia
I wouldn’t call this one an “Upset”
DUDES ON HORSES 38-17
Oklahoma at UCLA
Nope not even close…..
ROLL JALEN ROLL 44-17
Texas at Rice
I really like Rice Pudding and that’s all I have to say about my interest in this game
HOOK EM 44-10
Northern Illinois at Nebraska
Huskers bounce back….(They better)
CHILDREN OF THE CORN 38-17
Portland State at Boise State
The Broncos are for real this year (Believe it)
BRONCO’S 44-10
Texas Tech at Arizona
The Cats of Arizona lost to a Hair Extension College from Odessa last week….
Enough said…
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS! 38-28
Montana at Oregon
I can’t watch a damn duck beat a grizzly bear….
I just can’t
QUACKERS 44-24
Next Week…..
Your College football Picks will be out right on time as you have come to expect….
There will be a few extra added segments too, along with a “new” story on Mikerights.com to complete your weekend.
So Stay Tuned…
One More Thing…..
Thank you all again for reading my websites, in case I haven’t told you lately….
“Doc’ the World famous Black Lab and I truly appreciate it
Enjoy your games
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD