Ladies and Gentlemen –
As I am sure you know by now, this is THE Biggest Saturday in College Football!
Tennessee and Florida…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oklahoma State and Texas…..HECK NOOOOOOOOO!!
Notre Dame at Georgia…..NOOOOOO EWAY!
Michigan and Wisconsin…Are YOU Kidding me?????
I am talking about (I am sure that you know!)
St Olaf and Carleton for …(Wait for it)
“The Goat Trophy” AND “The Cereal Bowl”
(Yeah, it’s kind of a BIG Deal…..
Enjoy Your Picks…
Weekend Rewind…..
I know, I know you don’t need to tell me…….
I missed “Upset” after “Upset” last week
And frankly I am so “Upset” I am over the whole thing.
So as you can imagine Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator got through last weekend a very unimpressive 51 and 10 or 84%. Leaving The CFB Wizard for the season at 189 and 24 or 84%
I would say more here but I am as excited as you are about the Goat Trophy!
EMAIL(S) OF THE WEEK
Q: Hey Mister CFB Wizard
From all of us here at St. Olaf we appreciate the love, week after week for the Ollie’s.
Thanks Man!
Ollie’s Senior Student‘s Section – Northfield, Minnesota
A: Thank you so much for the kind email…..
Now go and Get Your Goat on This Weekend
Q: What’s Up Mister Wizard!
I think the Colorado LIVE Mascot “Ralphie” is like the Baddest Mascot EVER!
What do you say dude!
Chip – Boulder, Colorado
A: I don’t want to go all “Michael Vick” here and advocate any kind of animals squaring down on one another, but the facts are these Chip.:
Mike the Tiger from LSU…
Mike is an Apex Predator and he can eat any other mascot and will “IF” given the chance
But on a side note, I think it’s cool that you have Wynoona Judd as a mascot.
Q: Sir, I ask you honestly, will Tennessee make it to a Bowl Game this year?
Thank you
Timmy- Red Bank, Tennessee
A: GREAT NEWS TIMMY!!!
To answer your question, “YES!”
This weekend Tennessee will “technically” be playing in the “Orange Bowl”
Not like the real Orange Bowl, but due to the high amount of “Orange” in the stadium, you could “technically” say you made it to the ORANGE BOWL!
I hope that makes you feel better….
Q: Dear Sir,
Your website as well as your so called “Prognostications” are a %$#@*&^ JOKE!
I hope you BURN IN HELL!
Seth Bear – Cincinnati, Ohio
A: I wish you sounded more “concerned” Seth……
Then I could have called you “Care Bear”
Q: I saw what you wrote on Twitter Jackass!
I want to talk with you, you ^&%$# @!#*&^%
YOU can KISS GEORGIA’S ASS!!!
BIGDAWGDADDY- Athens, Georgia
Q: I would like to talk to you and give you a piece of my damn mind!
TENNESSEE IS COMING BACK! BELIVE DAT!
@#$@*&^ #$#@!
LADY VOL – Knoxville, Tennessee
Q: Keep making fun of THE OHIO DAMN STATE University!
SEE WHAT HAPPPPPPENS NEXT YOU worthless ^%$# *&^%$!
BUCK-MICHIGAN – Columbus, Ohio
A: I am not sure where all the hate is coming from or “Why” so many people feel like they need to talk to me and use such nasty language…
But I have something they probably need to listen too or somebody to talk too
COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS!
TENNESSEE AND FLORIDA: This game always evokes a lot of emotion….
KANSAS: Ok, so you beat Boston College last week…….
Coach Les, stop getting your hair dye in a twist, it’s one game
THE CITADEL: Good job Cadets, goooooood job.
OHIO: There is NOOOOOOOOOO reason the Rock and Roll hall of Fame
Should be in Cleveland…(Slightly off topic, but still important)
WEST POINT and ANNAPOLIS and COLORADO SPRINGS: (SEE ABOVE)
IVY LEAGUE: You still suck…..
TENNESSEE: I know many Volunteer fans are wanting “The General” to return…..
I have on good authority….
COLLEGE MARCHING BANDS: We are going to start a “Little” contest here……
Because Marching Bands are such an important part of the college football tradition.
Who would you rather see play at Halftime…..
Jackson State or Indiana..
OR…..
THE GAMES
Thursday 19 September
Houston at Tulane
I have faith in neither tem here, just so you know…..
COUGARS 28-24
Friday 20 September
Utah at Southern California
I was going to make a two Ute’s and a Trojan joke, But……
“Doc” the Black Lab cut me “That look”
TWO UTES 34-31
Air Force at Boise State
Yep, I am calling it…..
“Upset Special”
MIGHTY FALCONS 31-28
Saturday 21 September
Southern Miss at Alabama
This game has produced some memorable moments……
None have measure up to this one of Tyrone Prothro’s catch
CRIMSON TIDE 38-17
LSU at Vanderbilt
Nope, not even close……..
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 44-17
Tennessee at Florida
I wish I had better new for Volunteer fans…..
Who am I kidding, no I don’t
MIGHTY GATORS 41-24
Michigan at Wisconsin
This old Big Ten (Whatever the number is this week) Rivalry is played for…..
“The Chewbacca Trophy”
Not because of the love of the fans for the movie series “Star Wars”
But it is so named for back and facial hair that is prominent on females in those areas
JIMMY’S RINES 28-24
California at Ole Miss
I couldn’t pull for California “IF” they were playing Iran…..
FOAM RUBBER LAND / SAND SHARKS / BLACK BEAR REBELS 31-28
Western Michigan at Syracuse
Yawn……..
ORANGE 41-38
Elon at Wake Forest
Nobody Cares (Seriously they don’t)
DEMON DEACONS 44-10
California Davis at North Dakota State
Welcome to North Damn Dakota…….
Here is your Ass Whipping
MIGHTY BISON 34-17
Boston College at Rutgers
The Scarlett Knights couldn’t beat a sock monkey in a football helmet
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 34-10
Louisiana Monroe at Iowa State
Teams named after horrible weather patterns disturb me……
CYCLONES 44-17
Connecticut at Indiana
O Yippee…..
HOOSIER DADDY 3-2
Michigan State at Northwestern
Due to both teams close proximity to the Arctic Circle this game is played for the coveted.
“Porcelain Penguin Trophy”
(It’s said to be quite decorative)
SPARTANS 6-3
Morgan State at Army
GOOOOOOOOOO ARMY (It worked last week)
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 34-10
Florida Tech at Delta State
I know some of you don’t believe …
But you better
FEAR THE OKRA 41-24
Louisiana Lafayette at Ohio
I will keep this one simple…..
FRANK’S CATS 33-28
Miami (Ohio) at Ohio State
Yipppppppe!
The Buckeyes are still on their “Kick Every Little College in Ohio’s Ass Tour”!!
Next week they take on “Jim’s Barber Shop Quartet in Cleveland!
BLACKEYES 167-3
Auburn at Texas A&M
It’s going to be close……
WAR DAMN EAGLE 31-28
Wingate at Carson Newman
I knew a rich kid once named “Wingate”….
I stole his bicycle
EAGLES 44-17
Central Florida at Pittsburgh
You read it here first…..
PANTHERS 28-24
Washington at Brigham Young
I believe in Power of Donny and Marie…..
(Must be the infomercials)
COUGARS 34-31
Southern Methodist at Texas Christian
The Battle for the Iron Skillet……
It’s going to be closer than you think
HORNED DOGS 34-28
Louisville at Florida State
Let the misery continue……
CARDINALS 41-24
Appalachian State at North Carolina
I no longer identify as an Appalachian American
(Just so you know)
HEELS OF TAR 33-31
Central Michigan at Miami
Believe it or not…
We are still in Hurricane Season
HURRICANES 44-24
Kentucky at Mississippi State
It’s going to be close….
Real close
BULLY DOGS 31-28
South Carolina at Missouri
Hell yeah I said it…..
GAMECOCKS 34-31
West Virginia at Kansas
Although I no longer I am no longer an Appalachian American
It’s just business
MOUNTAINEERS 44-17
New Mexico State at New Mexico
This IS the Rio Grande Rivalry…..
It’s a Big Deal
LOBOS 28-26
Oregon at Stanford
I don’t care…
QUACKERS 6-3
Baylor at Rice
(SEE Above)
DA BEARS 7-6
Southwestern Oklahoma State at Arkansas Monticello
Here we go……
BO KNOWS WEEVILS 31-28
Charlotte at Clemson
Who’s next for the Best Team in the Nation?
“Skeeter’s Taxidermy College?” I can’t wait…..
DABO’S TIGERS 426-3
Oklahoma State at Texas
Two words for you……
“Burt Reynolds”
SMOKEY AND THE BANDITS 44-41
San Jose State at Arkansas
I am sure Ole Coach Morris (Soon to be fired) will declare “The HOGS ARE BACK!”
Ok whatever….
HAWGS 6-3
Notre Dame at Georgia
I hate to take the suspense away…..
Not even close….
SMART DAWGS 41-14
Nebraska at Illinois
(Cornhuskers please see Arkansas above)
CORNHUSKERS 44-24
Colorado at Arizona State
Nobody cares unless you are in the smallest television market……
But apparently in the highest legal marijuana region
WYNOONA’S 34-28
UCLA at Washington State
Big Mike the Pirate…..
Love that guy
MIKE’S CATS 44-17
Monmouth at Montana
The last Monmouth I saw was in a Wal-Mart in Knoxville….
Just saying
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 44-14
Carleton College at St. Olaf
Here we go….
It’s what we ALL have waited for!
It’s for the Goat Trophy
It’s the Cereal Bowl
It’s Everything
OLLIES 34-21
Next Week…..
There will be more on the way next week, I promise…..
Thank’s for hanging in there with “Doc” the World famous Black Lab and I
We truly appreciate it
One More Thing…..
Tomorrow you will have a “New” story on Mikerights.com
So stay tuned my friends…
Enjoy your games
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD