Ladies and Gentlemen –
It’s hard to believe that Thanksgiving is right around the corner.
As a gentle reminder the cornucopia of Thanksgiving college football picks will be out next Wednesday before your Aunt Ida shows up at your house with that hideous casserole that smells like Pine Sole and Kitty Litter.
You are Welcome
Enjoy Your Picks
Weekend Rewind….
As “Doc” The World Famous Black Lab grins manically from the comfy confines of his recliner, relishing in his Mississippi State over Auburn pick, I must confess that once again this week, He has demonstrated his skills in picking canine mascots.
That being said, other than “Doc” being invited as Grand Marshall to two parades in the coming months, The CFB Wizard remains subpar for the week at 43 and 14 or 75% and 157 and 49 or 76% overall.
I don’t know if Doc’s secret to success in prognostication stems from the number of treats he gets on a daily basis or the reruns he watches on Animal Planet, but I may have to start giving his treats a try.
Just Saying
College Football News
TEXAS: I honestly can’t even look at you right now.
OKLAHOMA: (Please see the above emotional statement)
VIRGINIA TECH: So, you fired your football coach this week?
Because you “think” you are a Championship worthy football team?
Coach Beamer ain’t coming back kids, sorry.
LSU: Is there any job openings there that can pay someone a crap load of money for doing a sorry job?
Asking for a friend
FLORIDA: So, with the thrilling “victory” over Mighty Samford last week …70 to 52.
When are you joining the BIG 12 Conference?
Just wondering
The CFB Wizard Email Question(s) of the Week
Q: Dear Sir,
Because your website is so widely read, I’d like for you to pass on this correspondence to your loyal following.
As the commissioner of the Southeastern Conference, one of my jobs is to ensure the integrity of our organization. Because of their lackluster performance against Kansas and due to the fact that they’ve lost 5 games in a row, we have re-examined the University of Texas’s application for admittance to our prestigious conference.
We decided that we will give them the opportunity to earn a spot, but with a key provision thrown in. The decision is that prior to admittance, Texas will be required to join and participate in the Sun Belt Conference as sort of a “probationary period”, if you will.
If they can compete and actually win a few games there they will be allowed to participate in the SEC. I mean, we feel compelled to take this drastic action because having, in essence, two Vanderbilt’s would be bad for our winning percentage and FPI. Thanks in advance for disseminating this to the rest of the college football world
Greg Sankey
Commissioner
Southeastern Conference
A: Oddly enough, that’s probably not a bad idea.
Q: Howdy!
I have done invented a time machine! I done it too!
I can’t tell you how it works, cause somebody like them space people might try and steal it!
You know what I am saying!
Anyways, I done went back to 1998 when the damn Tennessee Vowelenteers was Number Damn One!
It was just awesome!
Before I come back to todays times, I heard Coach Fulmer say that we is back, and I believe it!
I included a picture of my RTM (Redneck Time Machine, it’s what I call it)
You want to sponsor my machine, like they do in NASCAR?
Scooter McClean – Crab Orchard, Tennessee
A: Let me help you out here Scooter.
Just because you are standing in a tub of water, with a metal colander on your head and jumper cables on your nipples connected to what appears to be an old boat battery doesn’t send you to the past, it just electrocutes you until you pass out.
Also, too, please don’t send any more pictures to The CFB Wizard Staff here, I had three female staff members throw up in the break room after they saw your pictures.
Q: I am madder than hell!
My name is Steven Seagull and people are always mispronouncing my name and I hate it!
The pronounce my name like that Hollywood Karate Actor guy, Steven Seagal.
His name is pronounced “SEA-GAUL” and mine is “SEA-GULL” like the bird, but people keep getting it wrong, so what should I do? It’s driving me crazy! Also, too, I am an Auburn fan, and I am frustrated about that too.
Thanks
Steven SEAGULL – Opelika, Alabama
A: Might I suggest you get an imaginary friend to discuss your frustrations with, as we are far too close to the Iron Bowl for me to lend any assistance to your myriad of issues.
Roll Tide
Q: Hey Mister Wizard!
I have finished your new book “Over Easy”, and I truly enjoyed it.
One question, with all the success over the book have you gotten any “stalkers” yet?
Success brings them out, I am sure!
Later –
Tammy – Odessa, Texas
A: Thank you for your kind words Tammy and I am glad you enjoyed the book.
Last week, I had an “issue” with a fan that I exchanged emails with.
I won’t go into any details here, nor will I share the pictures that she sent via email either.
However, I ensured “Regenia From Ardmore Oklahoma” had indeed purchased three (3) of the new books before I asked her, “How long did she play nose tackle for the Oklahoma Sooners?”
EDITORS NOTE: Don’t judge me, it’s about money for “Doc’s” new squeaky toys.
Q: Dear Mister CFB Wizard –
I have an odd question for you.
I have reread many of your past articles on the website and I was amazed to learn that you were one-time Mexican Action Movie Star “Rascadango”, is that really true?
Thank you!
Selena – Savannah, Georgia
A: “Si……..”
THE GAMES
Thursday 18 November
Louisville at Duke
It’s simply NOT in my DNA to pick the Blue Devils in anything.
Sorry, not sorry
CARDINALS 34-17
Friday 19 November
Southern Miss at Louisiana Tech
“Doc” is giving me the “look” here and I don’t care.
GOLDEN EAGLES 34-31
Memphis at Houston
The Boys from H-Town are for real, believe it.
COUGARS 41-17
Arizona at Washington State
We already know I can’t pick a PAC 12 game to save my life.
So, there is that
COUGARS 34-17
Air Force at Nevada
It’s going to be a shoot-out, but the Mighty Falcons will prevail.
Or I think so anyway.
FALCONS 41-38
Saturday 20 November
Oregon at Utah
It’s going to be way (way) closer than you might think.
QUACKERS 34-31
Southern Methodist at Cincinnati
“UPSET SPECIAL”
I said what I said…
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 41-34
Harvard at Yale
Nobody Cares
UCLA at Southern California
This is “the” Battle of Los Angeles
The winner gets two hours of free protest time, a six pack of Zima that has already been drank once and a time out in a safe space.
BRUIN BEARS 6-3
Charleston Southern at Georgia
Nothing to see here..
SMART DAWGS 144-6
Michigan State at Ohio State
I believe it….
“UPSET SPECIAL”
SPARTANS 34-28
Iowa State at Oklahoma
Watching the damn Sooners make me drink early and often.
There, I said it.
BOOMER DAMN SOONERS 41-24
North Alabama at Hampton
I don’t know why the Mighty Florence Lions scheduled a game with the housekeeping ladies from the local hotel, but whatever.
FLORENCE LIONS 41-14
Prairieview A&M at Texas A&M
O’ Please
GIG EM AGGIES 56-6
Wake Forest at Clemson
I either smell “Upset” here, or “Doc” has an upset stomach.
DEMON DEACONS 34-31
Montana State at Montana
This bitter instate battle is known as “The Brawl of the Wild.”
It’s played for the largest and heaviest trophy in all of college football.
“The Great Divide Trophy”
It’s going to be a good one.
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 31-28
Purdue at Northwestern
I am sure this is another “big” rivalry in the Big 10 and I am also sure that none of us care.
BOILERMAKERS 34-14
New Mexico State at Kentucky
Nope, not even close
WILDCATS 44-17
Tennessee State at Mississippi State
(Please see the above game description)
BULLY DOGS 41-14
Florida State at Boston College
You might categorize this game as an “Upset”.
Just saying
SEMINOLES 34-31
Wofford at North Carolina
Yawn….
TAR HEELS 49-10
Rutgers at Penn State
Although I have missed pick after pick with these two teams this year.
I am going home team on this one.
NITTANY LIONS 28-24
South Dakota at North Dakota State
It’s going to be loud in the Fargo Dome, believe it.
MIGHTY BISON 34-28
Massachusetts at Army
This game is going to be uglier than a Hunter Biden painting.
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 44-17
Texas at West Virginia
Hell if I know…..
MOUNTAINEERS 38-34
Texas State at Coastal Carolina
The Big Birds Bounce Back, Believe it.
CAROLINA BIRDS 41-24
Illinois at Iowa
It’s going to be a tussle, take the home boys.
HAWKEYES 28-24
Arkansas State at Georgia State
I still believe and so does “Doc”
Dogs over the Cats
RED WOLVES 33-31
Georgia Tech at Notre Dame
Nothing to see here
FIGHTING IRISH 38-14
Washington at Colorado
“Doc” said to go with the Big Dogs over the fighting Wynonna’s
I concur
HUSKIES 34-31
Arkansas at Alabama
It’s going to be a brawl in T-Town, believe it.
CRIMSON TIDE 28-24
Michigan at Maryland
I don’t have a turtle in this race, but “IF” I did I would have to say,
WOLVERINES 38-21
Nebraska at Wisconsin
Damn it Cornhuskers…
BADGERS 31-21
Virginia at Pittsburgh
The Panthers from Steel Town are the real deal. Believe it
PANTHERS 38-17
Alabama Birmingham at Texas San Antonio
Beep-Beep
ROADRUNNERS 41-24
Minnesota at Indiana
These two teams have more multiple personality disorder.
I was a Doctor for a week once, don’t doubt me on this one.
GOLDEN GOPHERS 31-28
Marshall at Charlotte
This is a damn important week in Huntington.
Don’t blow it Marshall.
WE ARE MARSHALL 33-31
East Carolina at Navy
These Midshipmen have been in dry dock all season.
PIRATES 34-28
Appalachian State at Troy
The Appalachian Americans are on a Roll and it continues on Saturday.
MOUNTAINEERS 34-17
Brigham Young at Georgia Southern
This is going to be awful….
COUGARS 63-3
Syracuse at North Carolina State
“Doc” and I are in complete agreement on this one.
WOLFPACK 34-17
Florida at Missouri
Yippee
GATORS BASKETBALL 75-63
Connecticut at Central Florida
This won’t even be close. Sorry
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 54-10
Louisiana Lafayette at Liberty
The Insurance folks get wrecked in this game.
RAJUN CAJUNS 41-28
Kansas at Texas Christian
I cannot in good conscience pick Kansas.
“Doc” said go with the funny looking dogs.
HORNED DOGS 33-17
Baylor at Kansas State
I can say it now, it’s taken me all season.
The Bears are for real. Happy now?
DA BEARS 34-24
Auburn at South Carolina
I believe it and so should you.
GAMECOCKS 31-28
California at Stanford
They call this contest, “The BIG Game”
Whatever, weirdos
SOMEBODY 6-3
Vanderbilt at Ole Miss
I will keep this one simple
FOAM RUBBER COL. SANDERS – BLACK BEARS – LAND/SAND SHARKS 44-10
Virginia Tech at Miami
I know it’s close to Thanksgiving, you don’t have to remind me.
But it’s still Hurricane Season too.
HURRICANES 34-17
South Alabama at Tennessee
Congratulations! The Vowels FINALLY beat a team from Alabama!
VOWELS 49-14
Oklahoma State at Texas Tech
This one is going to be closer then you might think,
But…
COWBOY UP! 34-24
New Mexico at Boise State
Nope, not even remotely close.
BRONCOS 41-14
Louisiana Monroe at LSU
Yippee Coach “O” finally gets a “W”
(Yes, that was sarcasm in case you didn’t pick up on it)
FIGHTN’ TIGERS 41-10
Arizona State at Oregon State
This selection has nothing to do with the latest pool party at stately Blackwood Manor.
Just so you know
BEAVERS 34-31
Next Week….
Your Week 13 College Football Picks (Thanksgiving Picks) will be out on Wednesday of next week. It should give you something to enjoy before your annoying Aunt Debbie shows up at your house.
There isn’t a “New” story for you this week on Mikerights.com as “Doc” and I were busy with the new book promotions, but I will make up for it next week. Count on it.
There is more on the way.
So Stay Tuned
One More Thing……..
Thank you all for promoting my newest book and spending your hard earned money on it.
“Doc” and I truly appreciate it.
Be good to yourself this week and to those around you.
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD
&
DTWFBL