Ladies and Gentlemen –
We have quite the cornucopia of rivalry hate cooked up for you all this Thanksgiving.
It will be bitter for some and amazingly delicious for others.
The taste left in your mouth after this weekend, will last all year.
You Can Believe it.
Enjoy Your Picks
Weekend Rewind….
Although Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator didn’t match “Doc” The World Famous Black Lab’s record a few week’s ago, it was a better week due to the Pre-Thanksgiving cupcakes that were served up, going 50 and 5 or 91% for the week.
It is also worth noting here that not only did I NOT get a single Upset Special correct last week, I wasn’t even close. As in not even close. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten some of “Doc’s” treats last week.
I don’t want to talk about it.
That leaves The CFB Wizard at 207 and 54 or 79% after the Saturday that will no longer be mentioned.
We have a lot of hate to discuss this week, so let’s get to it.
The CFB Wizard Email Question(s) of the Week
Q: Damn Mister Wizard!
What the Hell is going on with Alabama’s Defense?
Thanks
Trey – Birmingham, Alabama
A: All I know is that, Alabama’s defense transition is worse than Katlyn Jenner.
Don’t get me started on the special teams. We are about as alter as a Joe Biden at a press conference.
Q: Just listen to me. It’s not a crazy idea, ok?
I think they should BAN all M&M candies in Gainesville.
Why? I will tell you!
Every damn coach with an “M” in their last name has screwed us over!
Think about it!
What do you think about my idea?
Chipper – Ocala, Florida
A: You don’t sound very Chipper, Chipper. In fact you sound crazy as a Texas Road Lizard.
Q: Dear Sir!!!
It’s me!!! Tracy from Homassassa!!! Why I reckon’ I ain’t wrote to you in a long time so I hope you remember me!!! I cain’t wait for your new Rascall Dangell movie to come out!
I’ll be sittin on the front row watchin when it does. So the reason I’m writin is cause you know a whole bunch a famous and important people and I thought you could help my Flarda Gaters get them a new football coach.
But, theys only one catch. You know I seen that the last FOUR coaches we had all started with the letter ‘M’ and thangs ain’t worked out so well. I mean, ole Irving Mayer won us a Natchenal Champonship but dang when he started feelin puny and quit on us and he skeedaddled out of Flarda like his hair wuz on fire we wuz a train wreck!!!
And then they got ole’ Willbert Mushchamp and he couldn’t win us no games and then MacElvain and then Dang Millens and we just ain’t won us nothin!!! So if you could call up the Athletical Direction fella and the presidence and tell them what to do I would REALLY preciate it.
Tracy Thrombosis
Homassassa, Flarda
A: Are you and Chipper (In the above email) related? Asking for a friend.
Q: I think you are a complete dumbass.
Anonymous – St. Louis, Missouri
A: Just so you know, I can give references to support your claim.
THE GAMES
Thursday 25 November
Fresno State at San Jose State
This hateful rivalry in the land of fruits and nuts is called,
“The Battle for the Valley Trophy”
“Doc” said to go with (You Know Who)…
BULLDOGS 34-14
Ole Miss at Mississippi State
There are few rivalries in all of college football more hate filled than this one.
It’s called, “The Egg Bowl”
But that Bowl can’t hold all the hate and discontent in this contest.
FOAM RUBBER COL. SANDERS / BLACK BEARS / LAND-SAND SHARKS 41-38
Friday 26 November
Boise State at San Diego State
Let this be said…
“UPSET SPECIAL”
BRONCO’S 34-31
Kansas State at Texas
I can’t believe I am making this pick.
LONGHORNS 34-31
Iowa at Nebraska
(Please see the above game description)
HAWKEYES 31-21
Texas El Paso at Alabama Birmingham
I wish the Iron Bowl was still played in Birmingham.
I said what I said
BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZERS 38-17
Cincinnati at East Carolina
I want this to be an “Upset Special”
But it isn’t
BEARKATS 34-17
Missouri at Arkansas
This bitter cross-state rivalry game is called, “The Battle Line Rivalry.”
It’s going to be ugly.
RAZORBACKS 34-31
South Florida at Central Florida
This nasty little rivalry in the shadow of the Magic Kingdom is called,
“The War on I-4”
In truth it has been more of a disagreement than a war as of late.
Just so you know
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 44-17
Coastal Carolina at South Alabama
It’s going to be closer than you might think, but I am going with…
CAROLINA BIRDS 34-31
Nevada Las Vegas at Air Force
I have said it before and I will say it again.
The Falcons are for real.
MIGHTY FALCONS 34-17
Colorado at Utah
So Wynonna and Two Utes walk into a bar…
Stop me if have heard this one already.
You have?
Never Mind
TWO UTES 41-17
Texas Christian at Iowa State
I know “Doc” wants me to pick the “Horned Dogs” in this one.
But I can’t
CYCLONES 31-28
North Carolina at North Carolina State
This bitter rivalry on Tobacco Road, is nastier than Joe Biden’s depends.
WOLFPACK 38-34
Washington State at Washington
Don’t let the name of this rivalry fool you.
It’s played for “The Apple Cup” and that sounds like something nice.
It isn’t nice at all, it’s brutal.
HUSKIES 34-31
Saturday 27 November
Georgia at Georgia Tech
This rivalry in the Peach State is accurately named.
It’s called, “Clean, Old Fashioned Hate.”
As it should be, Amen.
SMART DAWGS 41-21
Ohio State at Michigan
This bitter (really bitter) rivalry is known simply as,
“The Game”
The misery continues in Ann Arbor
BUCKEYES 41-24
Wake Forest at Boston College
I have no earthly idea which one of these two teams will show up.
There, I said it
DEMON DEACONS 31-28
Texas Tech at Baylor
“IF” this game was played in Lubbock, I would feel differently.
It isn’t, so I don’t.
DA BEARS 38-17
West Georgia at Valdosta State
I have to admit, I love that college’s onions.
BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZERS 44-24
Houston at Connecticut
Even with this game between the “cats and dogs”, “Doc” agrees with me here.
COUGARS 44-14
Florida State at Florida
This instate rivalry is called, “The Sunshine Showdown”
I would call this one an “Upset” of sorts.
SEMINOLES 38-34
Maryland at Rutgers
I know it’s Thanksgiving, so I just have to say, both of these teams are Turkeys.
FIGHTN’ TURTLES 34-31
Grambling and Southern
This is the great “Bayou Classic” in the Superdome in New Orleans.
The game is always good, but the Battle of the Bands at Halftime, is NOT to be missed.
COACH ROB’S TIGERS 34-28
Army at Liberty
The Casinos keep rolling along…
Ok, maybe that’s not quite right
Damn autocorrect
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 34-31
Navy at Temple
Damn it Navy
HOOT OWLS 34-17
Miami at Duke
I wish I cared, but I don’t
HURRICANES 34-21
Texas San Antonio at North Texas
Beep Beep..
ROADRUNNERS 41-28
Texas State at Arkansas State
“Doc” and I are still believing
RED WOLVES 34-31
Troy at Georgia State
Yes, this is an “Upset Special”
Just so you know
MEN OF TROY 38-34
Georgia Southern at Appalachian State
This bitter rivalry is known simply as , “Deeper than Hate.”
Because it is…
MOUNTAINEERS 34-17
Florida International at Southern Miss
I am not an International House of Pancakes kind of guy.
Just so you know
GOLDEN EAGLES 31-24
Alabama at Auburn
“The Iron Bowl.”
There is no rivalry more bitter, nastier or causes more hard feelings, than this one.
In fact I got mad just seeing this week’s pick.
CRIMSON TIDE 34-28
Oregon State at Oregon
This rivalry is called “The Civil War.”
But there isn’t anything “Civil” about it.
Believe it
BEAVERS 34-31
Penn State at Michigan State
O’ Crap….
It just occurred to me that with my obscure knowledge of college football rivalries,
that I sound like Rain Man. Damn…
Anyway…
As I was saying..
This rivalry is played for “The Land Grant Trophy.”
I don’t care, the Iron Bowl is on television.
SPARTANS 28-24
Western Kentucky at Marshall
I am afraid it’s going to be closer than you might think.
WE ARE MARSHALL 34-31
Northwestern at Illinois
This sort-of bitter instate rivalry is played for “The Land of Lincoln Trophy.”
I wish there was a game trophy for “John Wilkes Booth”, but then again sometimes I wish for too much.
FIGHTING PUMPKINS 34-14
Indiana at Purdue
This nasty little rivalry is played each year for the coveted, “Old Oaken Bucket.”
And, the bucket of spit goes too,
BOILERMAKERS 38-34
EDITORS NOTE: Damn, I do sound like Rain Man….
Vanderbilt at Tennessee
Yee Haw! They call this rivalry game “The Hillbilly Ho-Down”
How appropriate
VOWELS 44-10
Virginia Tech at Virginia
This Battle in the Commonwealth is played for “The Commonwealth Cup.”
“Doc” said to go with,
DUDES ON HORSES 28-21
Wisconsin at Minnesota
This particular rivalry near the artic circle isn’t played for the “Baby Seal Mallet” as you might think,
It’s actually played for “Paul Bunyan’s Axe.”
Just so you know
BADGERS 31-28
Tulsa at Southern Methodist
Damn it Ponies, just damn it.
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 38-34
Louisiana Monroe at Louisiana Lafayette
The “Battle on the Bayou” for the “Wooden Boot.”
I bet that damn boot is uncomfortable to wear.
RAJUN CAJUNS 38-21
Arizona at Arizona State
Que the Clint Eastwood, spaghetti western music…..
It’s time for, “The Duel in the Desert”
Great, now I can’t get that theme music out of my head.
SUNNY DEVILS 34-31
Texas A&M at LSU
Bye Coach “O”…..
GIG EM AGGIES 34-17
West Virginia at Kansas
It’s against my nature to pick the Jayhawks, in anything.
Sorry
MOUNTAINEERS 33-17
Oklahoma at Oklahoma State
They call this game “Bedlam” and it sure as hell is too.
COWBOY UP! 34-31
Pittsburgh at Syracuse
The Orange have been squeezed all season.
They are out of juice in this one too.
PANTHERS 38-17
Kentucky at Louisville
The “Battle of the Bluegrass” for the Commonwealth Cup.
Believe it or not, this rivalry is about as nasty as they come.
It’s a fact
WILDCATS 34-31
Clemson at South Carolina
There are few rivalries in college football that are more fierce than this one in the Palmetto State.
You can call it “The Palmetto Bowl”, but I call it, an “Upset Special”
GAMECOCKS 31-28
Tulane at Memphis
I jumped in Elvis’s pool one time at Graceland.
The tour guide about fainted.
Anyway…
ELVIS’S TIGERS 38-34
Notre Dame at Stanford
Blah, Blah, Blah.
One way or another I will be liquored up after the Iron Bowl, so I don’t care about this game.
FIGHTING IRISH 38-10
Brigham Young at Southern California
(Please see the above game description and insert here)
COUGARS 34-24
California at UCLA
You and I both know, that nobody will be awake to watch this game.
I am glad we can be honest with each other.
BRUIN BEARS 38-17
Next Week….
Your Championship Week Picks will be out Next Thursday, well, depending on the results of the Iron Bowl. Don’t be surprised if “Doc” The World Famous Black Lab takes over the picks next week. It should get a giggle or two out of you.
Just Saying
You have a “new” story about Thanksgiving this week on Mikerights.com and hopefully there will be another on the website next week as well.
There is more on the way.
So Stay Tuned
One More Thing……..
Thank you all for promoting my newest book “Over Easy” and spending your hard earned money on it.
“Doc” and I truly appreciate it.
Happy Thanksgiving
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD
&
DTWFBL