Ladies and Gentlemen –
It’s time for your Halloween Picks of the Week.
We will have scares, thrills, shrills and the occasional uncontrollable vomiting.
But enough about my last date night.
You got your week nine Halloween Picks ready, read on “IF” you dare!
(Please insert your favorite scary Halloween music here)
Enjoy Your Picks
Well, I certainly do as well as “Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab did the week before with his picks.
EDITORS NOTE: He won’t let me forget it either.
Your (Not So) Favorite College Football Prognosticator finished last week at 35 and 8 or 81%.
But in all fairness I had no idea that Penn Sate and Illinois would play 155 Overtimes nor did I anticipate Coastal Carolina would lose or Iowa State would wake up and decide to play football in October.
The CFB Wizard will return next week, after a bye weekend, to get back on track.
But for those of you that were concerned about me, “Thank You” and I also posted this on my social media accounts, that I will share with you here.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS
I will just leave this one right here….
And to be fair, this is for those Tennessee Fans out there…
HALLOWEEN SAFETY TIP: This can be a fun time of the year, that is full of whimsy, fantasy and candy. By that comment I am in NO way referencing the weekend pool party at Blackwood Manor.
All the ladies are over the age of 21, or will be by their next birthday,I promise.
But that aside it’s important to take the proper safety precautions when “Trick or Treating”.
So while you are out and about this Halloween, and you see a fat man dressed in orange, that smells like shame, powdered sugar and Peyton Manning’s jock strap, avoid him at all cost!
That is Fat Phil Fulmer of Tennessee and he will eat your kids, cause your little league team to get put on probation and possibly get your cat pregnant. So please avoid him and immediately call the police.
You Are Welcome America
The CFB Wizard Email Question of the Week
Q: Hey Mister Now It All –
I guess you Bama people think you done doe something.
So’s I heard that Doc that dog of yours gets all happy when Baa cheats and beats the Vols.
I bet you, Doc goes into a corner and cry’s when the Vols win on Bama now don’t he?
Skitter – Big Lick, Tennessee
A: I wouldn’t know what he does when Tennessee defeats Alabama:
“Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab is only thirteen years old.
Q: I must say, after reading your websites that you could clearly use Latuda to treat what can only be described as a terrible case of schizophrenia.
Dr. Darryl – Rockford, Illinois
A: Sir, “IF” you are referencing the famous Lithuanian stripper, I man entertainer, Miss Latuda Schizophrenia; she is no longer allowed at Pool Party’s at Blackwood Manor due in large part to her inability to control her vodka consumption.
Q: Dear Mr. CFB Wizard
Perhaps the only way to open a line of communication with you, is to communicate with you in your ridiculous Southern phrases or axioms.
So, where are you all from exactly?
Gloria – Boston, Massachusetts
A: I all is exactly from Alabama
Q: Dear Sir –
I have been accepted to Auburn University and my parents and myself are really excited!
They have a magnificent aerospace program and other areas of study that are unbelievable!
I am writing you because living in Minnesota I want to be able to properly pronounce the name of the university prior to arriving on campus for “parents day” in November.
Is it pronounced “AWW-burn” or “aww-BURN”?
Thanks, and Go War Eagles!
Chip – St. Paul, Minnesota
A: Neither pronunciations are correct Chip.
It’s pronounced “The Lee County Dump”
Q: You damn SEC Fans must be crying in your beer this weekend!
ESPN College Game Day will be in MICHIGAN this weekend for the TWO Undefeated Michigan Teams!
The Michigan State Spartans and The Michigan Wolverines will be Battling it out for Number ONE!
What do you say to that????????
GO BIG BLUE!
Karl V. – Ann Arbor, Michigan
A: I think we will be just fine down here Karl.
Do you have enough whale blubber to chew on before winter rolls in this weekend?
I would say more here but I have a big pool party to prepare for here at Blackwood Manor.
Thursday 28 October
Troy at Coastal Carolina
I believe the Big Birds will bounce back at home this week.
CAROLINA BIRDS 34-17
South Florida at East Carolina
(See above and insert Pirates instead of Birds)
CAROLINA PIRATES 31-17
Friday 29 October
Navy at Tulsa
This may sound crazy, but after last week.
I think Navy has finally gotten away from the dock.
MIGHTY MIDSHIPMEN 34-31
Saturday 30 October
Cincinnati at Tulane
“Doc” gave me the look, and I am no position to dispute his pick here.
Michigan at Michigan State
This old instate rivalry in the land of the frozen tundra is played for the coveted,
It’s not a cooler, it’s just a house made out of ice.
Iowa at Wisconsin
This Big 10 (or whatever..) Rivalry is played for “The Heartland Trophy”
Now “IF” this was a creepy Halloween mascot contest, both of these teams would tie for first.
Shorter at Delta State
Midgets and or Midget Clowns are a Big Damn “No Go” from me. Sorry Shorter.
FIGHTING OKRA 38-14
Texas at Baylor
I have had too much candy corn or I wouldn’t be making this pick.
Miami at Pittsburgh
The Hurricanes have been downgraded to a Tropical Depression.
That is all…
Rutgers at Illinois
It’s Halloween. No sense in cursing myself.
FIGHTING HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS 28-17
Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech
The Best Chili Dogs in the entire world are at The Varsity Drive-in, right next to the Tech campus.
That’s enough for me.
YELLOW JACKETS 33-28
Indiana at Maryland
I would rather watch two geriatric men gum a steak at Western Sizzler than watch this game.
NINJA TURTLES 34-28
Indiana State at North Dakota State
I know it’s Halloween, but let’s get serious here for a minute.
“Fighting Sycamores”, really?
When is the last time you saw a damn tree fight?
I rest my case
MIGHTY BISON 38-17
Central Florida at Temple
When the Golden Knights leave the sunny confines of Orlando they haven’t done too well.
This one is a guess
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 33-31
Texas State at Louisiana Lafayette
I love the Bobcats, but those Cajuns are hard to beat on Breaux Bridge.
RAJUN CAJUNS 34-28
Iowa State at West Virginia
Halloween in Morgantown, involves costumes, candy and of course burning couches.
Washington State at Arizona State
The Cougars are broken and the Devils from the Land of the Sun are rising.
SUN DEVILS 38-14
Missouri at Vanderbilt
Say what you want, but the Commodores are consistent.
MO’S TIGERS 38-10
Arkansas Monticello at Southeastern Oklahoma
I don’t know all that much about meteorology, but I have to go with a “Savage Storm”,
over the Bo Weevils this week.
SAVAGE STORM 33-24
Georgia and Florida
This is, “The World Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” in Jacksonville Florida.
SMART DAWGS 34-17
Texas Tech at Oklahoma
The Damn Sooners make me drink. I said what I said.
BOOMER DAMN SOONERS 41-28
Mars Hill at Carson Newman
Since I was kicked out of astronomy class in college for shouting, “I see Uranus!”
I cannot in good conscience pick a team that names their team after a planet in the solar system.
Colorado at Oregon
I am afraid the Stampeding Wynonna’s are outmatched in this one.
Southern Utah at Montana
“Doc” and I have a book signing in Beautiful Missoula, so…
Purdue at Nebraska
It’s Halloween Weekend, so I am picking the “Children of the Corn.”
Minnesota at Northwestern
I have to agree with “Doc” on this one…
That Gopher mascot makes me laugh too.
GOLDEN GOPHERS 31-17
Southern Miss at Middle Tennessee State
It’s time for the Eagles to show up and they will this Saturday in Murfreesboro.
GOLDEN EAGLES 33-21
Florida State at Clemson
Yeah, I would most definitely call this one an “Upset Special”
West Georgia at Valdosta State
This Battle in the Peach State goes to the Onion Heads.
Boston College at Syracuse
This one is going to be close, real close.
CHESTNUTT HILL EAGLES 24-21
Texas Christian at Kansas State
I have to go against “Doc’s” pick on this one.
I know he loves he loves the “Horned Dogs”, but I am going with the home team.
Louisiana Monroe at Appalachian State
There are fewer places harder to play in than in Boone North Carolina on a Saturday.
Duke at Wake Forest
Another grudge match on Tobacco Road.
Nope, not even close.
DEMON DEACONS 41-21
Arkansas State at South Alabama
I am still on the Bandwagon. Just so you know.
ROLL RED WOLVES ROLL 33-31
Georgia State at Georgia Southern
This is, “The Battle of GSU.”
It’s going to be a slobber knocker, believe it.
SOUTHERN EAGLES 34-31
Kansas at Oklahoma State
Saddle up, it’s time to,
COWBOY UP! 38-17
Ole Miss at Auburn
Yeah this one is an “Upset Special”
FOAM RUBBER COL. SANDERS / FOAM RUBBER BLACK BEARS – LAND / SAND SHARKS 41-34
Kentucky at Mississippi State
I can’t let “Doc” see this pick.
I know how he feels about me picking cats over dogs.
Southern Methodist at Houston
It’s going to be close, but the ponies run away with it in the fourth quarter.
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 38-28
Oregon State at California
I was going to make a joke here about the weekend pool party at Blackwood Manor, but
I thought it would be inappropriate.
Arizona at Southern California
There is a excellent chance that neither of these teams will win this game.
Boise State at Colorado State
I don’t know “IF” this is an “Upset Special” or not,
unless you’re a Ram’s Fan.
Penn State at Ohio State
Early in the season this was “the game” to watch,
Not so much anymore.
North Carolina at Notre Dame
(Please see the description above)
FIGHTINIG ERRISH 41-10
Louisville at North Carolina State
it’s going to be close. Real close.
UCLA at Utah
BRUIN BEARS 38-17
Virginia at Brigham Young
I am of the opinion that the guys on horses fell out of the saddle three weeks ago.
Washington at Stanford
I have no rational reason for making this pick.
Just so you know.
Must be the look I am getting from “Doc.”
You know how he feels about “Dog Picks”
Your Week 10 College Football Picks will be out next week on Thursday just as you have come to expect.
You are Welcome
There is another (yes, another) New story for you this week on Mikerights.com as promised.
And I hope to have another “new” story on Mikerights.com next week too, if for no other reason than to give you something to laugh about.
There will more news next week on the release of the new book “Over Easy” by your truly too.
So Stay Tuned
One More Thing……..
Have a good weekend and enjoy your Halloween and please adhere to the “Halloween Safety Tip” provided for you earlier in this article. You can thank me later.
Don’t forget to be good to yourself this week and to those around you.
THE CFB WIZARD