U FITE! Q and A

June 20, 2018
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

After the overwhelming response we had last week to U FITE!

That has come be to known as…..

THE Universal Fan Interactive Team Experience!

It’s no surprise to any of us here that the U FITE craze is sweeping the college football world like an out of control Texas prairie fire and along with this excitement certainly come a variety of questions from you “the fans.”

We will attempt to answer just a few of the many questions this week that we had pour into The CFB Wizard and our yet to be named U FITE Headquarters.

It’s only natural to have questions about something so unique and cutting edge as U FITE, let’s be honest you don’t really think Alan Sheppard or John Glen looked at the first Gemini spacecraft from NASA and didn’t have any questions do you?

Of course not!

So don’t be shy or bashful and keep those questions coming, it helps us here at U FITE define and refine our product line and provide you the latest technology to enhance your college game day experience.

Questions and Answers with U FITE!

For those of you who may have gotten caught up in the U FITE euphoria and hysteria last week I have provided the artist rendition of the first prototype that was created especially for the University of Tennessee.

These questions come to us at U FITE via Twitter and the CFB Wizard email.

Q: This isn’t one of those Cheap O’ things made in China is it?

Bill – Knoxville, Tennessee

A: Absolutely NOT Bill; U FITE not only uses the finest technology and ergonomic materials but U FITE is a Veteran owned Corporation and ALL of our products are produced and crafted right here in South Carolina United States of America.

Q: I got real big boozums and I was a wondering if there was some adjustment on that chair so’s I don’t mess up the control panel with my boozums while I’m a enjoying watching my Vols play.

-RealBigOrangeGal44

A: Ma’am the straps associated with the U FITE comfort chair are designed from U.S. Military parachute straps and they can be adjusted to safely and comfortably support a 125 pound strapping young paratrooper or restrain a Humvee as its cargo is dropped from the sky.

Q: We are taking “care” of my husbands crazy Uncle Chuck and we really like the U FITE, but would it be safe for Crap House Crazy Uncle Chuck on game day?

M. Monahan (VFL) – Chattanooga, Tennessee

A: For a nominal fee, you may choose to accessorize your U FITE with a “Fan Monitor” that is easily secured near the control panel. The “Fan Monitor” will allow you to listen to Uncle Chuck in his U FITE in the next room to insure that he is safe while you and your guests are enjoying watching the Tennessee Volunteers crush Missouri State Teachers College.

Q: Man this is AWESOME!

Can I get a U FITE customized in Auburn Tiger stripes?????

WDE!!

-AuburnMan777

A: Absolutely

Q: I’m looking at the picture on the website and I have a question I don’t think you have addressed in your presentation.

How do you go to the bathroom in U FITE?

Go VOLS

Steven – Strawberry Plains, Tennessee

A: Depends

Q: Can you order other motivation things on the voice speaker?

Big Cash Money – Harriman, Tennessee

A:I am assuming from your location and the earlier prototype that you are a proud fan of the University of Tennessee and that being said you absolutely can add a variety of other motivational snippets to the system utilizing a simple recorder or cell phone and connect to the hand USB port located within the control panel.

You can add Tennessee’s Beloved Peyton Manning repeatedly yelling “Omaha!”

Or even Queen singing “We are the Champions of Life!”

Q: O M G! O M G! O M G! This is AMAZING!!!!

When and where can I get a U FITE!!!

I can’t find any on Amazon!!!

-VolCrazyChick98

A: We are currently retooling our U FITE Production Facility in South Carolina to meet the overwhelming demand for this product and as promised U FITE will be available for college football fans everywhere prior to the 2018 college football season.

Q: Is it TRUE that Tennessee native and Country Music Superstar Kenny Chesney has endorsed U FITE!?!? Will U FITE Sponsor his next tour if that’s the case???

I’m Super Excited!!

GO BIG ORANGE!!

– TN_CountryOrange (Tina)

A: Miss Tina, this information is a bit premature; as of this date U FITE has not “officially” received any confirmation from Kenny Chesney on his endorsement however U FITE has received an offer of endorsement from Tennessee native, noted transvestite, and Kenny Chesney impersonator Kenny Chest Me.

Q: I am a Proud Member of the Vol Navy and I didn’t see anything in your presentation last week that would indicate that U FITE would float.

We love to party on the Tennessee River, so does U FITE come with a flotation device or devices?

Dr. Dale K (VFL) – Knoxville, Tennessee

A: Absolutely Doctor, U FITE can easily be accessorized with our own customized Coast Guard approved flotation devices that are easily attached to U FITE that prevent submersion of either the fan or the always assessable control panel.

You can float in complete comfort and safety while partying on the river with U FITE!

Q: Does the Auburn U FITE version come with the motivational sound of the War Eagle Screaming? I think that would be AWESOME as HELL!

Thanks!

WDE

Jimmy Lee – Opelika, Alabama

A: Sadly sir, due some contractual issues Auburn University will not allow U FITE to either use or lease the iconic sound of the screaming eagle heard and enjoyed by thousands of fans in Jordan Hare stadium on Saturday afternoons.

However, we here at U FITE know how motivational that sound is for Auburn fans on college football game days and through our contacts with a member of the staff here at U FITE we have incorporated the sound of a chicken being strangled from a Tyson Chicken plant in Arkansas.

Q: When will U FITE be available for other colleges?

I’m waiting to see the University of Texas version!

Stoked in Texas!

Brandon (TXEX95) – Austin, Texas

A: Brandon your timing could not have been more perfect.

The U FITE Team has an artist rendition of the Texas U FITE prototype that was sent this week to noted Texas alumnus and Academy Award Winner Matthew McConaughey.

You will notice some stark differences in the University of Texas prototype

The Longhorns located at the top of U FITE are not only decorative and essential for any fan of Burnt Orange but they also provide satellite Wi-Fi than can be accessed at any game home or away.

Why does this version have satellite Wi-Fi you may ask?

We here at U FITE know and understand how important the Longhorn Network is to not only the University of Texas but their fans around the world.

I ask you, WHO didn’t enjoy watching eight hours of “BEVO Home for the Holidays” during Christmas? And WHO doesn’t want to watch endless hours of Former Coach Mack Brown talk about that Championship they won that one time.

With U FITE you can have the Longhorn Network 24 hours a day!

The unique design you see here with our buddy Matthew also has incorporated motivational sounds on the control panel that are distinctly Texas!

There is (Of Course) “The Eyes of Texas”

Barbara Streisand singing “The Way we Were”

And due to the unexplained disappearance of BEVO IV, a brief commercial for Outback Steakhouse will also be included on the panel.

But that’s NOT all!

The Matthew McConaughey Texas U FITE version will also come with his patented saying

“Well Alright, Alright Alright!”

As well as a set on bongo drums you see here for those of you (Like Matthew) that enjoy playing a late game bongo drum rendition of the ZZ Top classic “La Grange”

*University of Texas cellular phone cover, cooler and Matthew cut out sold separately.

We will be accepting Pre-Orders of U FITE soon!

There is more to come from U FITE so stay tuned!!!!

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD

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