Ladies and Gentlemen –
This past week I received literally hundreds and hundreds of emails…
Well actually it was only two. But the point is…..
They were concerned about the state of my “mental” health
I have no idea where they are coming from with those accusations
Just because I have returned to my mountain retreat known as the RTR Farm and live with two dogs (Doc and Sadie) and have little or no human contact that is no reason to question my sanity.
Certainly this week’s earlier “educational” posting raised a few eyebrows…..
O’ Sure I haven’t shaved in forever or cut my hair…..
And last week I wrote the picks naked with my college football helmet on my head
(Which O’ By the Way was VERY Inspirational)
But that doesn’t mean I am “losing it” as was suggested in one of the emails from what appeared to be a mental health professional.
And I ask you…..
So what if I have an imaginary friend named Toby who helps out around the farm?
That’s normal am I right?
Believe me folks; there is nothing to worry about……
Hang on a second….
Toby, do me a favor and get me a beer while you are up….
One last point….
“IF” I was really “crazy”………….
As was suggested in the other email by an elderly lady who lives in Fort Worth Texas…..
Then let me present two key pieces of evidence to support my claim of sanity
Last week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was 54 and 12 or 82%
And Overall the CFB Wizard after picking nearly 800 games this season, is a rather astounding 640 and 141 or holding steady at 82%…..
I rest my case
Enjoy your games….
SOUTH GEORGIA FOOTBALL NEWS and VIEWS
Greetings from the heart of SEC Country!!!
Well, it’s the end of the line for our Gladiators of South 3rd. It turned out to be a tough season for the Boys in Blue but they represented McRae and Telfair County well. There were some tough breaks, key injuries, and weird calls, but they endured and finished out the season with a 4-6 mark. Many would look at their record, compare it to last season, and say, it was a dismal season. I’d say your wrong. And so would Coach Burleson. We had a young team and found a lot of talent. These kids learned about adversity and will use that experience next year for what we all hope will be a much better season. So, from me, the fans, and the parents, congratulations guys. We’ll see you next year. Now let’s get some basketball going!!! Go Blue!!!
The Trade School traveled to the Upstate of South Carolina last week and was wrecked by a Dabo’s Felines in a game that got out of hand quick and went downhill from there. Although the final score was 55-31, the Bees were never in this one. About the only bright spot was A-back Robert Godhigh, who had over 200 yards combined on the ground and in the air. The Cats of Clemson definitely had the answer to Coach Paul Johnson’s Option Offense as they were in position for most of the night to pretty much take the run out of the picture. Next up for the Tech-sters is what is hoped to be a “breather” game before a visit between the hedges just east of Hot’lanta. The Blue Birds of the ‘Boro traveled to Elon to take on their Fiesty Birds in their final SoCon game before moving to the Sun Belt Conference next year. After a close 1st Quarter, the visiting Eagles reeled off 24 straight points to pretty much seal the deal for the visitors with their sixth win and ensured them of having another winning season. Next up for the Birds is a trip to The Swamp to take on a reeling Gator team looking for redemption. What can I say about the Canines of Athens after an improbable win by the Plainsmen of Auburn?
The Hounds dug themselves an early hole and went to halftime down 27-10, traded scores in the third, and it looked like there was no hope entering the 4th. After giving up a field goal, the Dawgs came alive, scored 21, and took the lead with only 1:49 remaining. Then lightning struck. You all saw the game and saw the play, but that was probably one of the most miraculous and memorable plays I’ve seen in all my days. All I can say is, congratulations to Auburn. Both teams played a great game that should go down in the annals of SEC History as one of the greatest ever played and adding another chapter to this storied rivalry.
Over in the Piedmont, the Pullets welcomed a bunch of wounded Reptiles to the Chicken Coop, found a way to win, and ended up with a 19-14 victory. This one has to leave the denizens of the Palmetto State scratching their heads and wondering which team will show up for the showdown in a couple of weeks? After getting a little help from Auburn, the Cocks are now looking for the Confederates of Oxford or the Agriculturists of A&M to help them into the SEC Championship game by handing Missouri a loss. Speaking of which, the Cats of the Columbia of the West warmed up for Ole Miss by trouncing the toothless Cats of Lexington by a 48-17 score. And out in College Station, the Aggies took a week off to get ready for the Bayou Bengals who also had a bye week after being soundly trampled by the Pachyderms of Tuscaloosa. The East has gotten very interesting over the course of the season but you have to wonder…. Who really wants to play ‘Bama in the SEC Championship game?
That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week
And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.
These are your future collegians of tomorrow.
Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth
COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS
KANSAS: If you happened to see any of the scores from last weekend….
Then you saw that the Kansas Jayhawks beat the West Virginia Mountaineers
If you were unaware of that score then I recognize this is quite a shock
I will let that news soak in for a moment
In case you were wondering, this is a sure sign that the end of the world is near
(It’s in the Bible….)
DUKE: It was reported this past week that due to the Blue Devils recent success on the gridiron that the University announced that season ticket sales for the football team have “doubled”.
In case you were wondering…..
That means there are now 24 persons ordering season tickets….
FOX SPORTS: I have on good authority that the rumor concerning Fox Sports “recruiting” ESPN’s Beth Mowins to move to their network is completely false.
Although her voice can peel paint, make your ears bleed and make cats abort their young.
She was determined by Fox Sports…..
”That she was NOT annoying enough…”
God Help Us…
WEST VIRGINIA: Seriously?
TEXAS: Damn it………………
ESPN: If you happened to miss College Game Day on ESPN last weekend….
(Or if you did happen to see it..)
Take the time to see this short video about a young man named Jake Olson
There is a lot I could say about Jake
I will let his character and determination speak for itself
I wish I was more like him….
EMAIL OF THE WEEK
Q: Dear Mister CFB Wizard
This weekend Brown and Columbia are playing and it’s a BIG Rivalry!
We here are Brown are going to have a “Brown Out” for the game will you help promote this marvelous event?
Thank you we are really excited about the game!
Help us with the “Brown Out!”
Stephanie – Brown University (THE Ivy League)
A: Ah Stephanie…..
I cannot in good conscience promote an event…..
That entails (No pun intended) displaying the back of one’s dirty underwear.
I have a reputation to preserve
Tuesday November 19
Buffalo at Miami (OH)
This may come as no surprise to many of you….
But I am 100% on Tuesday and Wednesday Games…
BUFFALO WINGS 44-7
Kent State at Ohio
It’s like I can see into the future…
FLASHES OF GOLDEN 44-13
Wednesday November 20
Northern Illinois at Toledo
I know this probably sounds crazy……
But I feel really sure about this one
Take it too the bank
Thursday November 21
Rutgers at Central Florida
Although I don’t feel as sure about this game as I do the earlier picks…
I am fairly confident….
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 28-21
Rice at UAB
RICE CAKES 28-24
UNLV at Air Force
I still believe (For another week anyway)
In the Mighty Falcons….
Friday November 22
Navy at San Jose State
My rationale behind this game is a simple one….
I saw the words “Jose’ and I realized that Mexico doesn’t have a Navy…
Saturday November 23
Citadel at Clemson
This is going to be uglier than my date to the senior prom….
(That neon saffron dress couldn’t take away from the fact she had a head like a catfish)
DABO’S TIGERS 55-3
Harvard at Yale
Michigan State at Northwestern
The wildcats should have never left the litter box….
This one is going to hurt….
GO TELL THE SPARTANS 38-14
Oklahoma at Kansas State
I am not going against Coach Bill….
I finally got tired of him making me look like a complete dumbass..
(I can do that all by myself without anyone’s help)
BILL’S CATS 24-21
South Dakota at North Dakota State
This “Dakota Rivalry” is a good one…..
But you can’t stop Buffaloes when they are stampeding…
It’s a rule..
MIGHTY BISON 34-17
Memphis at Louisville
Did I happen to mention that Elvis’s Tigers have left the building?
Well they have….
STRONGER CARDINALS 41-10
Juniata at Albright
I don’t mean to sound disrespectful….
But Albright isn’t the brightest bulb in the box…
If you know what I mean..
Old Dominion at North Carolina
Just for the record…..
I am still encouraging “Old Dominion” towards a sponsorship with Domino’s Pizza…
“Day Old Domino’s for Old Dominion”
Catchy, don’t you think?
TAR HEELS 28-10
Duke at Wake Forest
The Duke Blue Devils are going to a Bowl Game and have a winning season….
Prepare now the coming Zombie Apocalypse
BLUE DEVILS 31-14
Cincinnati at Houston
The Boy’s from Skyline Chili will keep this one close…….
But not close enough…
Michigan at Iowa
This Ole Big Ten (Or sixteen) Rivalry game dates back to 1900….
It’s played each year for the “Lophotrochozoa Molten Mollusk”
Don’t be too concerned if you can’t say it…..
(You can’t pronounce this correctly unless you have a speech impediment)
Virginia at Miami (FL)
The Hurricanes haven’t generated enough wind lately to qualify as a decent fart much less a hurricane, but they will have enough hot air left to defeat the Cavaliers
Illinois at Purdue
Ah yes another of the many “Big” rivalry games in the Big Ten (or twelve)
This contest is played for the coveted “Purdue Cannon”
And as a safety tip to those vying for this wonderful trophy…
If the cannon functions anything like the Purdue Football team….
I wouldn’t be touching that thing off anytime soon…I’m just saying.
FIGHTING PUMPKINS 28-17
Mississippi State at Arkansas
I’m not joking in the slightest….
Newberry at Carson Newman
As I have mentioned in the past……
I’m not much on “New-Berry”…
I am more of a Mayberry man myself…
SPARKS EAGLES 41-21
East Carolina at North Carolina State
“The Battle of the Carolina’s”
I would rather stare at the sun for three hours than watch this game….
Pittsburgh at Syracuse
Please see the above commentary and replace “Sun” with Rosie O’Donnell’s Butt
(Which in case you were wondering, must look like about five thousand dollars in hail damage, sorry for the visual folks)
Coastal Carolina at South Carolina
O’ Yeah this one will be close……
Alabama A&M at Georgia Tech
This game is like picking Mike Tyson in a fight against a four year old….
Especially if he bites him….
(Mike not the four year old,,)
YELLOW JACKETS 51-10
Chattanooga at Alabama
The Iron Bowl is waiting…….
CRIMSON TIDE 41-10
Georgia Southern at Florida
This is going to be closer than you might think….
(I never thought I would be writing that)
Georgia State at Arkansas State
As an officially “Honorable” citizen of the Great State of Arkansas and Dallas County Arkansas….My loyalties are firmly in place.
(Thank you all I am greatly appreciative)
RED WOLVES 34-17
Idaho at Florida State
The Mighty Seminoles will score more in this game….
Than Bill Clinton would at an intern’s convention….
(Don’t roll your eyes at me you know it’s true)
Indiana at Ohio State
Don’t you just love these Big Ten (or Whatever) Rivalries?
I just can’t get enough of them….
This “rivalry” game is played for the “Aardvark – Anteater Trophy”
That the trophy is named after and represents the respective colleges homecoming queens
(Hey don’t get mad at me, I am just reporting what I read from extensive research)
From what I confirmed from seeing the respective schools homecoming parades….
Oregon at Arizona
I wouldn’t call this one an “Upset”….
Because I really don’t care
ROD’S HAIR PLUG CATS 34-31
Texas A&M at LSU
It’s Night Time in Death Valley……
The Golden Band from Tigerland…..
The Golden Girls…
Mike The Tiger…
By the Way….
(I want to thank my Tiger faithful for naming that beast after me)
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 41-38
Wisconsin at Minnesota
I just can’t get enough of the Big Ten (or something another) rivalry games, can you?
This game is played each year for “Paul Bunyan’s Axe”
As a side note….
I strongly support anytime a weapon is involved in a game as a trophy…
(Honestly I pray for the day there will be a Bazooka or an M203 as a trophy)
O SO VERY GOLDEN GOPHERS 31-28
Brigham Young at Notre Dame
I was going to pick the FIHGTNING ISRISH In this one….
(I’m sorry hang on a second…)
“Hey Toby….Be a buddy and stop messing around with my stereo I have the stations preset and I am listening to something as I write, thank you”
(I’m sorry, it’s hard to get good help today…)
Boston College at Maryland
This game has some real intrigue in the confines of the ACC…
Hang on, I’m sorry…
“Toby, I’m serious, I need you to stop screwing with my stereo”
Sorry about that….
I forgot what I was saying about this game
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 28-24
Nebraska at Penn State
I really like both of these teams although they haven’t played well as of late…
I’m really sorry hang on a second….
“Toby, I mean it…STOP right now and get the hell away from my stereo”
JOE’S LIONS 28-17
Tuskegee at North Alabama
I am a big Lionel Richie and the Commodores Fan…..
But these are the MIGHTY Lions of Florence…
BOBBY’S LIONS 41-17
Utah at Washington State
“Toby I swear to everything that is Holy…..
that if you don’t stop screwing with my damn stereo I will stab you in the eye with a fork”
(I’m really sorry folks, I typically don’t lose my temper like that)
Colorado State at Utah State
I believe Coach Jim and his Boy’s from Colorado State are simply….
RAM TOUGH 34-24
California at Stanford
This “big” rivalry in California is really something to watch….
And by something to “watch” I mean if you are forced at the point of desperation of having to watch this game on Fox Sports…
New Mexico at Fresno State
I hate to actually write this….
But if Toby screws with the stereo when Tina Turner sings “Nutbush City Limits”
I will actually stab him in the eye with a fork…
Marshall at Florida International House of Pancakes
I refuse to pick against the Mighty Herd in November….
Because I remember November 1970
WE ARE MARSHALL 34-14
Arizona State at UCLA
I recognize that this way of the subject of this game….
Because many of you care passionately about this contest
But if Toby interrupts “Sweet Home Alabama” I swear I will feed him into my wood chipper feet first…..
DA BEARS 41-38
Southern Methodist at South Florida
One more time my Beloved Ponies…..
Just one more time….
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 41-21
Kentucky at Georgia
I am still so damn upset over last Saturday…
I still don’t have any words to console my Bulldog faithful
Somewhere Lewis is inconsolable…
BIG DAWGS 34-10
Western Kentucky at Texas State
Coach Bobby has the Boys from Bowling Green headed to a Bowl Game….
Vanderbilt at Tennessee
My Big Urange faithful won’t like this one….
But the Boy’s from Nash –Vegas are for real….
Missouri at Ole Miss
Some people would call this pick an upset……
But if you want to see a real “upset”
Then watch me when Toby interrupts Little Richard singing “Good Golly Miss Molly”
Baylor at Oklahoma State
This game is offensively offensive to me…..
DA BEARS 51-41
Kansas at Iowa State
My God I almost picked the damn Jayhawks…..
What the hell is wrong with me?
Damn it Toby………….
Southern California at Colorado
I’m so sorry this just isn’t like me….
You just messed up a Waylon Jennings song and that’s a death penalty offense”
Boise State at San Diego State
I know this is a silly question……
But what is the name of that chemical you can use to get blood “hypothetically” out of your carpet?
I’m just wondering….
Washington at Oregon State
Don’t get me wrong here…..
I am all about Dogs and Beavers…..
But I am currently single for reasons that may be abundantly clear
I would write more this week
But I have a little “something” to bury in the woods….
Enjoy your games….
THE CFB WIZARD