Thanksgiving College Football Picks

November 26, 2013

Ladies and Gentlemen –

This week I have a cornucopia of games on the menu for your Thanksgiving feast

(To be perfectly honest for years I thought “cornucopia” was an Italian desert)

Here at the CFB Wizard Thanksgiving Table….

You don’t have to worry about any of your Aunt Edna’s Ten Bean Casserole “Surprise”

(That makes me gassy just thinking about it…)

No leftovers or unsightly dishes to clean…..

No guests or unwanted relatives staying the night here….

(Yes I am talking about your obnoxious Uncle Todd)

But I will warn you….

For some items on the menu

The taste, either bitter or sweet……

Will stay with you for a lifetime….

(In that regard there are some things on the menu exactly like Aunt Edna’s Ten Bean Casserole “Surprise”, but without the need for additional toilet paper the following day)

The Menu for this Thanksgiving Week at the CFB Wizard

We have an Apple Cup, served with an Egg Bowl in an Old Oaken Bucket

If you will be kind enough to wear your Golden Boots and Chancellor Spurs to dinner then you will be served some Clean Good Old Fashioned Hate in a Civil War.

Certainly you will have a choice of Victory Bells and Palmetto Bowls

Along with both Sunshine and Sunflower Showdowns

But if you have a strong heart

And a strong stomach

And are not prone to seizures

We have……

The Iron Bowl

(It makes me break out in a sweat just typing the words)

This one contest will be a game for the ages….

Believe it

Now that I have calmed down from typing the last few sentences

It’s worth noting that last week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator finished the 13th week of college football with a 45 and 11 or 80% record while picking the upset’s of Oregon, Tennessee and somebody else that I can’t remember.

O’ sure I missed a few games as well as “upsets” as I always do….

But life is about the “little” victories

(I am in NO way referring to any form of midget racing with the above comment)

That aside….

That leaves the CFB Wizard at 685 and 152 or 82% for the 2013 College Football Season

There is a lot more I could say, but your dinner is ready to be served….

Enjoy Your Games….


Greetings from the Heart of SEC Country!!!

I don’t know about you, but even though college football is still going, it starts getting kind of dull around here in these parts after the High School season ends. I look at it like the passing of the seasons. Know how the leaves turn, the wind blows, the temps drop, and then those same leaves kind of turn brown and fall? That’s kind of like football season. It starts getting chilly and the High School season ends. It gets a little colder and the college season ends. Finally, in the dead of winter, the bowl and NFL seasons end. We awaken a little bit for some spring practices and games. We watch for news of our teams during the summer. Finally, when summer is winding down, our seasonal “spring” begins with kickoff and expectations of a new campaign. But, for now, it’s the beginning of the end.

 Well, I’m going to make this short and sweet for the big boys of College Football in the Peach State. The Slide Rule Jocks whipped the Dawgs of Alabama A&M by a 66-7 score and the Red Clay Hounds spanked the Felines of Lexington by a 59-17 score as both tuned up for good old fashioned hate next weekend. The really big news of the weekend was that the Blue Birds of the ‘Boro came away from the Swamp with a 26-20 win over the Reptiles of Gainesville in what might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for Coach Will Muschamp’s career at UF. The Eagles of the FCS, preparing to depart the SoCon for the FBS’ Sun Belt Conference, amassed an amazing 429 yards rushing on the Defense of Florida, their supposed strong suit. And what was even more amazing is that in the win Coach Jeff Monken’s Offense produced absolutely no passing yards on only 3 attempts through the air. What a way to close out the 2013 season for the denizens of the Prettiest Little Stadium in America. Somewhere, the great Coach Erk Russell is smiling. Hail Southern!!!!

Elsewhere, the routes were on as the machine known as the Tuscaloosa Pachyderms rolled over the Snakes of Chattanooga by a 49-0 score. Over in Columbia I, the Pullets of the Piedmont spurred the Chants of Coastal Carolina by a 70-10 score, in a game that saw the Roosters put up 42 before the half. But then a funny thing happened. The Bayou Bengals schooled the Agriculturalists and little Johnny Football of A&M by a 34-10 score. I think that the repeat Heisman hopes as well as A&M’s dreams died at Death Valley along with their Sugar Bowl hopes. Up at Neyland Stadium, things just continue to spiral out of control as the Seamen of Nashville came to town and topped the Rocky Toppers by a 14-10 score. I know Butch Jones had a lot to fix up there but didn’t expect to see another losing season in Knoxville.

Things I think

Aaron Murray – Everyone that watched the Georgia game on Saturday knows that Aaron Murray went out with a knee injury. Turns out to be a torn ACL which means he’s lost for the season. I like the kid and one of the reasons is because he gets it.

He understands that he’s a college kid, playing a kids game, and as a result he has fun. In other words, he doesn’t take himself or the game too seriously. And he’s a personable guy. How many of you knew that after the heartbreaking Auburn loss that young Mr. Murray dedicated his Sunday to spending time with the kids of Extra Special People, an organization for children with developmental conditions.

Well, apparently lots of other people must have gotten the word about Aaron based on the comments after a Bleacher Report article. It turned into a thread praising this young man from fans all over the football spectrum. There were statements of encouragement and admiration from Auburn, Alabama, LSU, South Carolina, and fans other SEC schools to name a few. But it wasn’t limited to our conference. Notes came in from Ohio State fans (I hate Georgia and the SEC but I admire Murray) and from as far away as Oregon. There were even a couple of Georgia Tech fans that posted. So, it didn’t end like he wanted it to, but Aaron Murray still went out a winner with the admiration of the entire college football world. Thanks, Aaron. You will be missed in Athens. 

Before I depart for my own Thanksgiving family get together I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the other playoff games in college football taking place this weekend

Buddy Pough’s South Carolina State Canines take on the Paladins of Furman Saturday in Greenville, SC. The Dawg’s have a top notch defense and are just itching to get to the second round of the playoffs after a 3 year hiatus. The homestanding Warriors of the Upstate of South Carolina had a rocky start to the season but ended up winning the SoCon regular season title and the league’s automatic bid.

Over in Jacksonville, Samford Coach Pat Sullivan takes his Samford Bulldogs to Jacksonville State to tangle with a bunch of feisty Yardbirds in a little intrastate family feud. The Chickens of the Ohio Valley have an offense in the upper third of the conference but will be challenged to keep up these Pups and their pass happy ways.

Out in Huntsville, Texas the Bearkats of the Southland Conference entertain the Southern Utah T-Birds of the Big Sky Conference. Although the Thunderbirds sport a somewhat anemic offense, their defense is more than capable and will be trying to stop the tough Texans who have gone deep in the FCS playoffs for two years running.

Conway, South Carolina’s Coastal Carolina Chanticleers will play host to the Wildcats of Bethune-Cookman in Brooks Stadium on Saturday. Coastal of the Big South features a stout rushing attack, led by Walter Payton Award candidate Lorenzo Taliaferro. The Felines are more than capable of stopping the Chants with a hard nosed defense ranked at the top of most categories in the conference and the nation.

Moving to Division II, after handling the Golden Tigers of Tuskegee, the Big Cats of Florence, Alabama make a trip to Pembroke, NC to take on a bunch of Wild Indians on Saturday at Grace P. Johnson Stadium. Coach Bobby Wallace’s felines have a big play offense and a tough defense who will be looking to stop the Braves who have some pretty powerful weapons of their own on both sides of the ball

Bearcat Stadium in Maryville, Missouri will be the scene of the game between Northwest Missouri State and the Big Bulldogs of Minnesota-Duluth. The Canines, a 55-13 winner over Emporia look to added to their 12-5 playoff record over the last 6 years. The Bearcats, a familiar opponent to the Dogs, sport an unblemished record on the 2013 campaign and aim to keep that record intact.

And a couple of more Minnesota football teams are involved in the D-II championship chase. The Sled Dogs of St Cloud State will make the trip to Mankato to take on the Mavericks of Minnesota State in the 77th meeting between these two bitter rivals. As if playing for the D-II trophy weren’t big enough, due to scheduling within the conference, this game takes on a whole new meaning.

Columbus Ohio’s Ohio Dominican Panthers make their first appearance in the D-II football ranks and put their undefeated 10-0 record up against the visiting Buffaloes of West Texas A&M. The Bison, a 24-17 winner over Indianapolis. OD, previously of the NAIA, is making only their second playoff appearance in program history and look to make a lasting mark on their 2013 campaign.

That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week

And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.

These are your future collegians of tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving from South Georgia

Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth


OREGON: Seriously…….

That whole “We Want Bama” thing you all had going on was Hilarious!

You Ducks really Quack me up!

(Get it?)


To my beloved Alabama Family and to my wonderful Auburn Friends

You know there is nothing I wouldn’t do for any of you….

Win – Lose or Draw we will continue to love and respect each other

Because that’s how we are with each other….

I love you all….

But I am still first in line after the game for a liver transplant

So don’t even think about getting in front of me…

I’m just saying…

OHIO STATE: Let me be sure I got this right……

Buckeye Coach Urban Myer doesn’t think the “BCS System is fair….”


Because the system seemed to work alright for you when you were at Florida, right?

I have a novel theory….

“Maybe” the system doesn’t work for you because the Big Ten (I no can count good) Conference is weaker than month old Cool Aide

“Maybe” the system doesn’t work for you because your out of conference schedule included:

1.The West Wooster Fertilizer College
2.DeVry Institute
3.Phoenix On-Line University
4.Digger McGee’s Clown College


The system doesn’t work for you because you’re a whiner that everybody loathes….

LSU: Hey FIGHTN’ Tigers…..

Great win last week in Death Valley…..

If you would have played like that all year you would be in Atlanta in December….

Great win for a great program, even if their team isn’t all that great this year…

Congratulations Eagles….

The Mighty Lions of Florence took another step last week in the Playoffs with a big win over Tuskegee.

Congratulations Boys…..

CLEMSON: From the “You Can’t get there from Here” File…

25 year old Clemson Tiger walk-on football player and U.S. Army Veteran Daniel Rodriguez went from the Battle of Kamdesh in 2009 to the Tiger end zone last week.

After grueling tours in Iraq and Afghanistan along with being wounded

Daniel led the Tigers “Down the Hill” on Military Appreciation Day last week…

And as I said earlier

Daniel scored his first ever collegiate touchdown later in the game

My friends it doesn’t get any better than that..


FLORIDA: I don’t have the words…………

FLORIDA STATE: I will attempt to keep this diatribe brief and to the point….

So allegations of “rape” at Penn State surfaced a couple of years ago and the whole damn athletic program shut down and the NCAA and law enforcement descended on the Happy Valley campus like a swarm of locus.

And rightfully so…..

In Tallahassee allegations of “rape” against a star football player and Heisman hopeful have taken over a year to “investigate” and it still isn’t resolved?

Is the reason the “issue” isn’t resolved because the alleged perpetrator is “the” star football player?

Is the reason the “issue” isn’t resolved because it’s hard to find the right “spin” on the story?

Maybe the reason the “issue” isn’t resolved is because it involves a young woman?

So if you rape a boy it’s bad but if you rape a woman it’s ok?

I’m confused here

I wasn’t aware that Phil Fulmer worked at Florida State University


Q: Hey Mister CFB Wizard!

Some of my co-workers and I were having a few drinks after work last week and as always the topic of college football dominated the conversation.

When the CFB Wizard came up in the discussion someone at our table said that you used to be a Rhodes Scholar!

That is AWESOME! Is that True?

Thank you so much and Go Clemson Tigers!

Susan – Aiken, South Carolina

A: Thank you so much for your kind letter Susan….

However I want to clarify a very fine point concerning your letter

I was a “Roads Scholar” not a Rhodes scholars…

After one particular class I was told to take my books and hit the “Road”

I guess some people consider it to be “inappropriate conduct” to ask your female Astronomy professor if she can see “Uranus”


Tuesday 26 November

Western Michigan at Northern Illinois
I am not trying to sound cocky….
But I feel really sure about this game…

Thursday 28 November

Ole Miss at Mississippi State
This is the Egg Bowl……
There will be fights, disagreements and partnerships dissolved over this game…
And that’s before they even kickoff….
REBELS 31-17

Texas Tech at Texas
We don’t have a “Lone Star Showdown” this year with the Aggies
But this is still a good one…
This game is played for The Chancellors Spurs
I am still a believer

Friday 29 November

Iowa at Nebraska
This game in the Big Ten (Count No good We Don’t) Conference is played for the…..
“Hero’s Trophy”
It looks like a foot long sandwich from Subway if you ask me…

Southern Methodist at Houston
Call this one an “Upset” if you want too……
I just have a feeling…

East Carolina at Marshall
Huntington West Virginia in November…..
There are few places on the planet more beautiful….
If you are really quite on Saturday afternoons you can hear
The Thundering Herd

Toledo at Akron
This rivalry in the Buckeye State is played each year “before” the Ohio State –Michigan game for one very important reason….
Nobody would attend the game if it was played on Saturday….

Miami (OH) at Ball State
This game is going to uglier than your cousin Danielle’s Thanksgiving Sweater…
(And as a side note, it might be a good time to remind her that one shouldn’t “Bedazzle” everything)

Massachusetts at Ohio
“IF” the Bobcats don’t beat the hapless Minutemen then I don’t know what to tell you

Eastern Michigan at Central Michigan
I would pull for the Chippewa’s in this game…..
But naming your team after an unsightly wart or mole doesn’t inspire confidence
EAGLES 28-21

Texas State at Troy
The Trojans’ better get it together…..
Or the only bowl game they will be attending will be one they buy a ticket to

Arkansas at LSU
The Golden Boot goes too………..

Fresno State at San Jose State
My two constant companions “Doc” and “Sadie” had something to say about this game…
Or maybe they just wanted something from the treat jar….
Either way it’s a win-win for them

Miami (FL) at Pittsburgh
I understand that this contest will be televised on NBC….
Because No Body Cares…

Washington State at Washington
In the Great State of Washington there is nothing bigger…
This game is played for the “Apple Cup”
(That sounds tasty, doesn’t it?)

Oregon State at Oregon
This game is called….
“The Civil War” and it’s played for the Platypus Trophy
Believe me, there isn’t anything “civil” about his game….

South Florida at Central Florida
This rivalry between O Town (The city, Not the defunct musically challenged boy band)
And the Home of the Best Cigars in the United States….
Isn’t really much of a “rivalry” this year….

Saturday 30 November

Florida State at Florida
They call this game “The Sunshine State Showdown”
This year…..
Not so much….

Ohio State at Michigan
I really wish I could go for the “Upset” here….
Just so Urban would stop whining like a four year old in Wal-Mart….

Minnesota at Michigan State
This old rivalry in the Big Ten (Count No we Not Good) Conference is played each year
For the coveted “Wheel of Bacon”…..
(I wonder if you can buy a vowel on that greasy thing.)

Rutgers at Connecticut
If you are actually watching this game…
Then it’s because you are trying to escape your visiting relatives
(I’m not judging you…)

Duke at North Carolina
This rivalry on Tobacco Road is played for the “Victory Bell”
I never thought I would see the day….
But I guess Hell really did freeze over…

Kansas State at Kansas
This instate rivalry is called “The Sunflower Showdown”
(I’m serious)
It’s played for the Governors Cup….

Wake Forest at Vanderbilt
Coach Franklin and the Commodores are no joke since he arrived on campus….
Once again they are headed to a Bowl Game

Maryland at North Carolina State
I would rather…
Be forced to eat your Aunt Debbie’s “Yam –Yam Pudding” than watch this game.
(Don’t judge me, you hate it too…)

North Alabama at UNC Pembroke
Another step in the playoffs for the Mighty Lions…..
Come on boys….

Southern Miss at UAB
I wish I had better news for my Golden Eagle faithful….
But I don’t….

Air Force at Colorado State
This Rocky Mountain High rivalry is played each year for the “Ram Falcon Trophy”
Coach Jim’s State team is….

Wyoming at Utah State
These Cowboys have fallen and they can’t get up……
AGGIES 44-21

Carson-Newman at Lenoir-Rhyne
This playoff game is a rematch of a whipping the Eagles took earlier in the season…
It’s going to be hard to defeat Coach Sparks twice in one year..

South Alabama at Georgia State
You know that I am going with the Boy’s from South Alabama right?
I thought so….

North Texas at Tulsa
I will be far too nervous over the upcoming Iron Bowl to be concerned with this otherwise meaningless game, sorry….

Tulane at Rice
A little CFB Wizard trivia for you….
My second favorite desert in the entire world?

Brigham Young at Nevada
Slightly off the subject of this game….
But do you ever wonder why your creepy old Uncle Raymond still eats at the little kids table during Thanksgiving?

Alabama at Auburn
I have written and rewritten this piece three times….
So I will simply say this…
This game is a lot like life itself to many of us….
In a very short span of time
There will be moments of joy and elation
Followed by despair, self loathing and bewilderment
This game is a rollercoaster of emotions until the final whistle blows….
It’s a shame that anyone has to lose this game
This is the Iron Bowl

Baylor at Texas Christian
This rivalry in the Lone Star State began in 1899…..
In all that time they still haven’t gotten along any better
DA BEARS 41-21

Penn State at Wisconsin
This particular Big Ten (Count Good we No Do) Conference rivalry is played for…
“The Aerosol Family of Cheese Spray Trophy”
(The trophy isn’t a mystery, it’s an aerosol can of cheese spray)

Georgia at Georgia Tech
This game is played for the “Governors Cup”
But the game itself is known simply as….
“Clean Good Old Fashioned Hate”
It doesn’t get anymore descriptive than that….
DAWGS 31-17

Purdue at Indiana
This Rivalry in the Big Ten (Dyslexic Math is How we Roll) Conference is played for….
“The Old Oaken Bucket”
Not to be confused with the “other” rivalry game in the conference for the
“Recycled Synthetic Plastic Biodegradable Bucket”

Boston College at Syracuse
This game might be closer than you think….
But the Orange will get squeezed before it’s all over

Virginia Tech at Virginia
This game in the great commonwealth of Virginia is played for the
“Commonwealth Cup”
I won’t go against the Turkeys during Thanksgiving…
It’s a rule

Northwestern at Illinois
As you all are familiar with by now….
This Conference not particularly known for its math skills…..
Has yet another “rivalry” game on the menu…
This game is played for the “Land of Lincoln Trophy”

Arkansas State at Western Kentucky
This will be a slobber knocker from start to finish….
(With the above statement I am no way referring to your ancient Uncle Herb who refuses to die visiting for the Holidays with a drool “issue”)

Iowa State at West Virginia
Nothing says “Happy Thanksgiving” in Morgantown West Virginia like…..
The smell of burning, smoldering couches…..
(Don’t judge them, its West Virginia…)

Clemson at South Carolina
They call this game “The Palmetto Bowl”
That hardly describes this instate rivalry accurately….
It should be called….
“The We Hate Your Damn Guts Bowl”

Notre Dame at Stanford
This rivalry…..
(Yes they say it’s a rivalry…..)
Is played for the “Legends Trophy”
In case you were wondering…
The trophy looks like the Shoney’s Big Boy….

Tennessee at Kentucky
Due to the politically correct speech police….
This rivalry game dropped its trophy which was played for “The Bourbon Barrel”
The schools dropped the trophy under pressure
Because the speech police said the trophy “glorifies alcohol use” amongst students
(Yeah, because college kids wouldn’t drink if it weren’t for a damn trophy…Dumbass’s)
I am here to right an obvious wrong….
The Bourbon Barrel goes to…..
VOWELS 31-17

Louisiana Monroe at Louisiana Lafayette
This game in the Land known as the “Sportsman’s Paradise”
Is called “The Battle of the Bayou”
(I can almost smell the Boudin cooking from here…….)

Texas A&M at Missouri
Believe it Aggies……

UCLA at Southern California
This rivalry in the City of Angels is played for the “Victory Bell”
Yeah I don’t care either…
BRUINS 28-24

Arizona State at Arizona
This instate rivalry game in the land of sand, more sand and cactus
Is played for the coveted “Territorial Cup”
I am going “Upset” here….
ROD CATS 38-31

New Mexico at Boise State
I think this game will be uglier than your Cousin Shirley’s unsightly chin hair…
(You all talk about it behind her back all the time so don’t give me a hard time about it)
BRONCO’S 44-17

Army at Hawaii
“IF” you are still awake to watch this game then you clearly didn’t eat enough turkey

Happy Thanksgiving My Friends



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