Ladies and Gentlemen –
Much like Richard Petty and Elvis….
It’s good to be the “King”, even if it’s only for a week
As you may know Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator
Hit “Both” Upset Specials last week
Stanford over Lame’s Trojans and Western Kentucky over the Blue Cats of Kentucky
POST GAME RE-CAP
The College Football Week that “was” Week 3…
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was a rather astounding 62 and 11 or 85%. That leaves the CFB Wizard at 215 and 32 or 87% after the third week in the season.
Did I mention “both” Upset Specials in last week’s column already?
I bet you all Love me right now like Lame Kiffin loves an excuse…
Like “reverend” Cecil Newton Loves Bobby Lowder…
Well, you get the picture
Enjoy your picks……
SOUTH GEORGIA FOOTBALL NEWS AND VIEWS
Greetings from the heart of SEC Country!!!!
There’s excitement brewing around town these days as there was great news from Friday night as the Boys in Blue notched up another win in the young 2012 campaign. The Trojans played rude hosts to the visiting Region 1-A Baconton Charter Blazers in a 41-0 hometown victory. There’s starting to be a different feel here in McRae as Coach Matt Burleson is instilling a winning mindset in these young men of the gridiron. These boys are big and fast as Coach Burleson has emphasized an off season weight training program so that they can keep up with the big boys of the region. Quarterback Kevin Clark was 2 for 3 in the passing department including a 45 yard TD pass to the elusive Rashawn Mackey. The running game amassed an incredible 359 yards on the ground with shifty speed merchant Austin Bahn leading the way with 114 hard earned yards and big Abraham Freeman adding 88 and bulling his way into the endzone for 3 big touchdowns. Coach Burleson was pleased with the performance, but not satisfied. “We had some lapses on both sides of the ball, but, these kids have worked their butts off and showed great improvement.” There’s no time to rest, however, as next up for the Trojans is a trip to Brooklet to take on the Southeast Bullock Yellow Jackets from up in 1-AAA. This should be one of the biggest tests of the season and we expect our boys to represent McRae and Telfair County well.
Up in Athens, Mark Richt’s Georgia Bulldogs took on a pesky group of Owls who swooped in from Boca Raton in hopes of catching the Canines looking ahead to Vandy. The birds put up a fight early but were no match for the Clark Countians’ depth and superior athletic skills as the Dawgs came away with a 56-20 victory. Georgia found itself tied early in the second quarter but finally decided to quit toying with the Owls as they amassed over 700 yards in the Victory. Next up for the Hounds is a 1-2 Vandy team who would love to spoil a Bulldog run for the SEC Championship. Meanwhile, over in Hot-lanta, the Slide Rule Jocks wrecked a Virginia team trying to improve on their 2-0 record. The Jackets put up 35 points in the first half enroute to a 56-20 victory that showed that Paul Johnson has some offensive firepower to be reckoned with by the rest of the ACC. Next up for the Trade School is a home matchup against the 2-1 Miami Hurricanes. I don’t know what to expect from the “U” in this matchup, but it should be a good one. The Big Blue Eagles of Georgia Southern took a week off to recover from a close loss to The Citadel the week prior. Needless to say, Coach Jeff Monken had the birds bathing in Beautiful Eagle Creek to help conjure up the Spirit of Erk in preparation for a tough Elon Phoenix team on Saturday at the Prettiest Little Stadium in America. These Eagles are no doubt intent on sending the mythical birds back to their nests as they should be well rested and no doubt itching for payback after a disastrous trip to Charleston.
The Plainsmen of Auburn narrowly avoided an embarrassing defeat to the Warhawks of UL Monroe Saturday in what could have sent them to an 0-3 record and a downward spiral that they may not have been able to pull out of this season. These feisty birds went into overtime tied with the Tigers and were finally defeated on a field goal by the War Eagles after failing to score on their first possession. There’s problems over in Auburn and it only gets worse this week as they host a cat fight with the Tigers from LSU. Alabama showed their nasty side as they played unruly guests and skinned a bunch of tusk-less Hawgs of Arkansas 52-0. Speaking of trouble, James Franklin may end up turning the reigns BACK over to Petrino. Arkansas is desperate. In other games, LSU continued to tune up for the start of their SEC schedule with a 63-14 beating of the potatoes of Idaho and the Bantams of Columbia, SC had a relatively easy time in coming away with a 49-6 victory over the Fire Breathers of UAB. Not too much big game action scheduled this weekend, but stand by, things should start getting interesting on the 29th of September. And finally, what can you say about the Hokies of Va-Tech as they were humiliated by none other than…. Pitt? These Turkeys were beaten soundly by a 35-17 score by a team that had lost in week 1 to Youngstown State and were knocked completely out of the rankings. Beamer will no doubt right the ship but it leaves you scratching your head.
Things I like:
Underdogs – I like pulling for underdogs. Case in point? The Citadel. Yes, they’re conference rivals of Georgia Southern, but you’ve gotta love the scheme and team these perennial also-rans of the SoCon have put together this year. Week before last, the results against GSU could have been viewed as a fluke. What did they do for an encore performance? Well, they only went to Boone, NC and soundly trounced the perennial SoCon favorites of App State by a score of 52-28. And that’s a closer score than what could have been as the Blue Bulldogs were playing subs as the Carolina Mountain Men got 14 late points to make things seem somewhat more competitive. For their efforts these Hounds were awarded a #10 ranking in this weeks FCS polls. Congrats to The Citadel on what could be a story book season for these Cadets from Charleston. Look out, NC State. You could be next.
Underdogs II – And speaking of underdogs and upsets, how bout the Red Trees from that liberal bastion of thinking out in California. Yes, they’ve done pretty well over the last few years while Harbaugh was coaching and Luck was QB-ing, but this was supposed to be a down year for the Cardinal. Not only did Stanford knock the Spartans of USC from the number 2 spot in the national polls, but they also beat the media’s anointed favorite from the Heisman Race and, hopefully, dashed the Trojans hopes of a National Championship run. But, let me be clear about one thing. I’m not a Barkley basher. He’s a kid playing a kid’s game. But, USC is another of those teams that the media clamors over yearly until they shoot themselves in the foot. In my humble opinion, the only way USC would have been in the National Championship game, probably with FSU, is if the SEC powers beat themselves up.
That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week.
And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.
These are your future collegians of tomorrow.
Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth
Wednesday September 19th
Kent State at Buffalo
I feel rather confident about this pick….
You should too….
GOLDEN FLASH BACK 23-7
Thursday September 20th
Brigham Young at Boise State
Where is the “Young” Brigham?
Because the Cougars are playing more like the geriatric dementia Brigham lately
Wisconsin Eau Claire at Wisconsin Platteville
I didn’t know that Chocolate Eau Clair’s came from Wisconsin, did you?
Those things are delicious…
CHOCOLATE EAU CLAIRES 24-21
Friday September 21st
Baylor at Louisiana Monroe
You read it here first….
MIT at Curry
I had no idea that the Mississippi Institute of Technology had a football team?
I thought all they did was retread tires and teach people how to replace a cracked windshield
KID CURRY 24-17
Saturday September 22nd
Maryland at West Virginia
Here is the nice thing about the Fighting Turtles new techno vomit colored uniforms…
You can’t really tell if someone really vomited and bleed all over them….
LIGHT THOSE COUCHES!
UAB at Ohio State
Who is sponsoring the Buckeyes college football season, Krispy Kreme?
When are you all actually going to start playing somebody?
CREAM PUFF EATING BUCKEYES 44-10
Bowling Green at Virginia Tech
The Hokies played like turkeys last week…
This week the Hokey Pokey is what it’s all about, believe it
HOKEY POKEY 34-10
Gettysburg at Susquehanna
Not that it may be all that important to you..
But I still have hard feelings over Gettysburg…
Yeah, I’m like that
SUSIE Q 28-21
Virginia at Texas Christian
Have you ever seen a Cavalier upended by a Horned Frog?
I haven’t either, but it’s going to happen Saturday
HORNED FROGS 31-17
Massachusetts at Miami (OH)
I had every intention of watching this game between these two powerhouses…
But there is a “Good Times” marathon on TvLand…
Texas El Paso at Wisconsin
What has happened to the Cheese of Wisconsin?
They are playing like it’s past their expiration date
PROCESSED CHEESE WHIZ 28-17
Central Michigan at Iowa
Listen to me People of the Land that is Iowa….
RUN THE DAMN FOOTBALL!
Franklin Marshall at Juniata
It’s going to take two grown men to take Big Ole Juanita down….
They should be ashamed of themselves…
FRANK & MARSH 24-21
Ole Miss at Tulane
At one time this was quite the rivalry game….
I just can’t remember what time that was…
REBEL BLACK BEARS 28-10
Kentucky at Florida
You didn’t really think I was serious did you?
Don’t be ridiculous
MIGHTY GATORS 43-10
Army at Wake Forest
Did you know that Brian Piccolo went to Wake Forest and lead the nation in rushing and scoring his senior year of 1964? His number with the Demon Deacons was 31 and that’s good enough for me.
DEMON DEACONS 31-28
Norfolk State at Ohio
This game is going to be uglier than Stevie Wonder dressing himself…
Except without all the brightly colored mismatched clothes
FRANK’S CATS 41-17
Miami (FL) at Georgia Tech
I’ve seen Whoopee Cushions generate more wind than the damn Hurricanes of Miami
YELLOW JACKETS 38-17
Missouri at South Carolina
The self professed football “genius” that is Coach Steve better dial up a real game plan for this one or the Roosters will end up on the wrong side of the scoreboard. Believe it
Eastern Michigan at Michigan State
If the Men of Sparta aren’t angry at this point in the season; then they should be…
I’m mad for them
Oregon State at UCLA
I wouldn’t call this an upset…..
I would call this “Behold the Power of the Beaver”
MIGHTY BEAVERS 28-24
Arkansas Monticello at East Central Oklahoma
The Boll Weevils got squashed last week and I don’t think they have recovered
OKIE DOKIE TIGERS 38-17
South Dakota at Northwestern
The Coyotes of Dakota and the Wildcats of the North
This one will be closer than you might think
East Carolina at North Carolina
The Heels have already been Tarred this early in the season…..
Dickenson at Moravian
Just a simple question…
If you live in Moravian does that make you a Moron or a Moravainian?
I’m just asking
Idaho State at Nebraska
This game may be a lot closer than you might think….
I wouldn’t take the Famous Potatoes lightly
CHILDREN OF THE CORN 28-17
Temple at Penn State
The Once Proud Nittany Lions made me proud last week..
Even if it was at the expense of Navy
NITTANY LIONS 34-17
Garner Webb at Pittsburg
The Panthers of Pitt has more personalities than Angelia Jolie
I have no idea which one of them will show up on Saturday….
Marshall at Rice
Three words for you….
WE ARE MARSHALL 34-17
VMI at Navy
This may not be the “best” game on the college football schedule this weekend
But it’s damn sure the most patriotic
North Alabama at Delta State
The Lion and Fighting Okra Rivalry has never been hotter
These two teams have a chance to meet (again) for the Division III Championship this year
Here is your preview
FLORENCE LIONS 33-28
Kansas at Northern Illinois
Not that I care, because I really don’t…
Colorado at Washington State
The Buffalo’s couldn’t beat the Oak Ridge Wildcats in Oak Ridge Tennessee
And that’s a damn fact
South Florida at Ball State
I have lost all faith in the boys from Tampa…
And that’s NO Bull…
Florida Atlantic at Alabama
This is one of those times I think the “Animal Planet” is full of it….
Because if owls were all that “smart” they wouldn’t have scheduled this game
Know what I mean?
CRIMSON TIDE 38-10
Wyoming at Idaho
This game features….
“Cowboys and the Ida-Honkeys”
Sounds like a party at Elton John’s house…
COWBOY UP! 24-21
California at Southern California
This “fierce” instate rivalry will celebrate the four seasons of California during the halftime show
Mudslide season, Wildfire season, Earthquake season and Violent Nonsensical Protest season
LAME TROJANS 38-21
Memphis at Duke
I am of the belief that Elvis’s Tigers have left the building….
Thank you, thank you very much….
BLUE DEVILS 31-17
Citadel at North Carolina State
The Bulldogs can’t run with the Pack…
I saw that on the Discovery Channel
LSU at Auburn
I wish I had better news for my Auburn Faithful…
But this one is going to be uglier than a nude beach for midgets
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 41-10
Charleston Southern at Shorter
I’m afraid that Shorter will come up a little short in this one….
Louisville at Florida International
For the last time….
I don’t care if the folks in Florida do have an International House of Pancakes “right off campus”
It still doesn’t make them “International”!
STRONGER CARDINALS 41-17
Carson Newman at Newberry
As you should know by now, I am a big fan of Mayberry….
To tell you the truth, I don’t even know where in the hell Newberry is….
But I bet it’s close to Mt Pilot
SPARKS EAGLES 41-38
Rutgers at Arkansas
These Hogs are mad as hell…..
And they are going to take it out on the Knights of Scarlett on Saturday
Utah State at Colorado State
The Rams are Tough but these Aggies are something special
Southern Miss at Western Kentucky
This game is going to be close, close….
But I can’t go against the Hilltoppers after last week
South Carolina State at Texas A&M
This game isn’t going to be too challenging…
So I want to mention that “Tito” is my favorite “Jackson” after Stonewall, Shoeless Joe and Andrew…
Not that it matters here…
GIG EM AGGIES 44-0
Arkansas Tech at Ouachita Baptist
There is one thing you will never see the Baptist team do after a good play or a touchdown…
GOTCHA BAPTIST 28-27
Troy at North Texas
The Mean Green are tough in Denton, but I still believe in Troy…
At least for another week anyway..
MEN OF TROY 28-24
South Alabama at Mississippi State
This one is going to be uglier than a Kenny Rogers facelift…
Yeah, it’s that bad….
BULLY DOGS 49-0
Michigan at Notre Dame
I just finished watching the original version of “Red Dawn” ….
They would all shout….
Akron at Tennessee
In the State of Tennessee they will kill and cook damn near anything….
With that being the case, that damn Kangaroo from Akron won’t stand a chance
But I hear they taste just like chicken..
Vanderbilt at Georgia
The Commodores won’t go down with the Ship…..
They will fight till the very end
HUNKER DOWN DAWGS! 34-24
Gustavus Adolphus at St. Olaf
You know what happens when this many German’s get together don’t you?
First they drink a lot of beer and then Poland gets invaded…
Don’t laugh, it’s happened.
Quincy at Urbana
I have this game on the “Pick” schedule for a very good reason…
I think “Urbana” just sounds funny…
Go ahead, say it to yourself…
I have already used it in conversation several times today
“Sorry I’m late but my Urbana is infected”
“I don’t know if it’s Ur-bana or My-bana but something in here smells like hell”
“You know, when my Urbana is swollen my clothes just don’t fit right”
It’s a word that can be used for any occasion
(No Need to Thank me)
YOUR BANA 23-17
Kansas State at Oklahoma
Believe it or not, this one will be too close to call and could easily go either way…
It’s in Norman, so I am going with….
BOOMER SOONERS 38-34
Clemson at Florida State
Everything points to the Mighty Seminoles in this game…
And conventional wisdom would say the Seminoles will win
But I am neither conventional or wise and I can give professional references to support that claim
DABO’S TIGERS 34-31
Syracuse at Minnesota
If Terry Bowden is “ever” the Coach of Minnesota he can be the Coach and the “mascot”
Which is nice….
O’ SO VERY GOLDEN GOPHERS 21-17
New Mexico at New Mexico State
This game in the Great Southwest is called the “Rio Grande Rivalry”
It’s played for the coveted “Maloof Trophy”
The trophy looks like a Monkeys foot on a pack of Ho-Ho’s….
PISTOL PACKING PETE 24-23
Fresno State at Tulsa
SAFETY TIP OF THE WEEK!
If you are having a tailgate party at your house and someone “offers” to explain what a “Golden Hurricane” is, please stop them before they urinate behind the box fan you have setup in the garage.
Louisiana Tech at Illinois
I have on “good authority” that ESPN’s Pam Ward will be announcing this game
Consider yourselves warned….
If you don’t hit the “mute” button before kickoff you will be Ear Raped by her
FIGHTING PUMPKINS 28-17
Utah at Arizona State
Do you know what you need to Exorcise a Sun Devil?
TWO UTES 34-24
Air Force at UNLV
You know what they say…..
A Carpet Bombing in Vegas stays in Vegas….
MIGHTY FALCONS 38-20
Ursinus at McDaniel College
I’m still confused why someone would name a college after a sinus and urine infection
It’s just weird
MC D’s 24-17
Arizona at Oregon
The fact that there will be very little defense in this game is very offensive to me…
Nevada at Hawaii
If Dog the Bounty Hunter played in this game there would be an entirely different outcome
I’m just saying….
Enjoy your games….
THE CFB WIZARD