Ladies and Gentlemen-
Is it just me or is everybody trying to change everything?
You got a bunch of people trying to screw up college football so it looks like a damn Xbox game, we got a President who could screw up a two car parade that promised “Change” and then of course we have well meaning “people” that want to change “us”
Now before I get a bunch of hateful emails from some people who are going to read the first two lines and claim I want to go back to the Jim Crow era, let me simply say this…
I don’t drink cheap Bourbon, never have…..
But if you want to drink Jim Crow, that’s cool with me
Since that is cleared up let’s move on shall we?
I say all these things not just because they bother me, because they do….
Has no one ever heard the Ole saying “If it’s not broke, don’t try and fix it”
You Hear “Let’s Change College Football!”
Let me say this…..
This past years Southeastern Conference Championship game was an embarrassment to football everywhere, there I said it.
If you want a damn Xbox game, then go buy one, leave my beloved college football game alone.
Then of course we have our “federal” government…
They have a “war” on this issue and “war’ on that issue and the truth is in the immortal words of one of my favorite Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeants…
“They couldn’t find their own ass with a flashlight and a ten man working party”
But as idiotic as the federal government is, there is a silver lining…
Just be thankful you don’t live in Detroit or Chicago…
Then you have the well meaning people I mentioned that want to change “Us”
Don’t say I’m not right because you know I am
Remember when you used to get liquored up and jump around on the couch to Bachman Turner Overdrive and your spouse thought that was “cute”?
Then two years later after you’re married that song comes on the radio and you hear…
“Stop that you look ridiculous”
Then the brief conversation begins….
“But Honey I thought you thought that was Hot, remember when I…”
EDITORS NOTE: That’s when you are interrupted….
“I don’t remember that, O’ and by the way I gave all your bell bottoms pants to Goodwill last week” and Nobody is “taking care of any business” in this house so get off the couch, you were dancing on the blanket my mother got us from Niagara Falls”
What is wrong with people?
I make these assertions because I too have fallen “victim” to this mentality
Change…..
I understand that we all have our mountains to climb, truly I do
Some mountains are health related and some involve family, jobs and the like
I get it, I have been there my friends..
But lately my own challenging climb up the Mount Everest of publishing has left me dazed and somewhat confused because everybody wants to “change” what I am doing.
I’m not talking about editing, I went to public school, I need edits and an editor.
No I am talking about “change”
I have heard from a variety of people in the publishing “industry”
“Nobody reads books on short stories anymore”
EDITORS NOTE: What happened? Did all those people die off suddenly?
“Publishing is a long process…”
EDITORS NOTE: Yeah and that process gets longer when one or more people are setting on their collective asses and not doing their jobs.
“You are never going to sell any stories with references to God”
EDITORS NOTE: That’s funny, because I thought the Bible has sold pretty well over the past few years
“Have you considering writing anything else?”
EDITORS NOTE: Yes I am thinking of writing something right now…it would be a murder mystery of a perspective publisher who was exasperating the patience of a perspective writer.
Believe me there is more, but if that isn’t bad enough there are the merchants of “change”
“Can you change your stories…..”
“Maybe rename or change them to something more universally accepted…”
“Can you change……”
“Can you change……”
“Can you change……”
Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mind some change and being a Marine we are more adapt at jumping through hoops than a circus tiger, but I am not going to change who I am or what I write.
Nobody said to Hank Williams Sr. when he wrote “Your Cheating Heart”…
“Hey Hank, nobody is going in for those tear jerk songs anymore but I have some Awesome News! Gas-X wants to buy your song and use it on a commercial if you will change the words and rename it “Your Stinking Fart”
And Nobody said to Ronnie Van Zant of Lynyrd Skynyrd…..
“Ronnie the record label needs you to change the lyrics and the title to that new song to “Sweet Home New Jersey”. Jersey is really “In” right now, and nobody at the record company knows where Alabama actually is, so could you do that?”
I am not saying that I have the artistic genius of the above gentlemen, because I don’t.
But what I am saying is that they stuck to their guns on what they created.
And people (everywhere) still love them….
That being said….
I am not going to write about rainbows or unicorns
I am not going to soft sell what I believe or who I am
In the immortal words of that enduring Sailor “Popeye”
“I am what I am”
So I will continue my climb how ever high (or low) it takes me
But in the meantime….
I am going to put another load of laundry in the washer….
Get about half liquored up and crank up Bachman Turner Overdrive
Jump around on my couch
And count my blessings…
In case you were wondering…
Doc and Sadie happen to love my music….
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD
You have a new story on MikeRights.com just in time for “Tax Day”
I hope you enjoy it….