Embrace the Madness

March 30, 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen –

If you know anything about me or have read more than two articles here…

Then you know I never (Ever) write about anything other than College Football – Period

And I will also be the first to say that I haven’t watched any college basketball since the Great “Pistol Pete” Maravich passed away

By the way Kids…..

You do know that “Pistol Pete” was the Greatest Basketball player that ever lived, right?

He was and still is…..and Nobody (and I do mean Nobody) Has come close to him since

However I am getting off topic with that brief history lesson

The fact is I may be the last heterosexual male in America to have gotten “hooked” on March Madness, but thanks to a dear friend of mine, I am now officially “hooked”


I hate to admit it, but it’s true

That doesn’t mean that I will be writing about college basketball, or making brackets because frankly I don’t understand today’s “game” of basketball.

There are enough things that I don’t know squat about to pontificate on….

You certainly don’t need me as the CBB Wizard writing about it….

EDITORS NOTE: Not to mention that sounds like I am a KKK Member who happens to run a CB radio club…

That aside….

Although fully admitting that I have “a lot to learn”

These are my observations from my all too brief introduction into “March Madness” ….

Is it really “necessary” to have a “super slow-mo” review of who touched a basketball when there is 1.0245689 seconds on the game clock?

Especially if one team is ten or more points behind, I’m just saying

And who in the hell is keeping up with the clock that registers something to that degree?

EDITORS NOTE: And I thought College Football “reviews” were bad….

Is it really “necessary” to have an “official” cookie of the NCAA Tournament?

Don’t get me wrong, I like Oreo’s as much or more than anybody…

But seriously

And what’s going on with the nasty little jingle that now accompanies the commercial?

EDITORS NOTE: Trust me…It’s ridiculous…….

I also wasn’t aware that there was some sort of vague rule that the esteemed Auburn graduate Charles Barkley had to be in 90% of all the commercials televised during the tournament.

To be perfectly honest, until I actually heard Charles Barkley “talk”, and by “talk” I mean mumbling incoherently while making periodic grunting noises, that his true claim to fame wasn’t basketball it was as “Mushmouth” on “Fat Albert”.

I guess that Speech and Communication Degree he got at Auburn has really come in handy, Hey Hey Hey!

On the subject of Basketball Commentators or whatever they are….

I saw Marv Albert commentating on one telecast, and he looked really white and pasty and he had on this red lipstick. I said to myself “he looks like a Vampire….”

Then I remembered that he bit the crap out of that woman a few years ago and said aloud

“Now that makes sense”

I really don’t understand the commercials that are aired during the Basketball tournament either, seriously I don’t.

Take the “New” Buick commercials…..

Everybody in America knows you have to be at least 75 years old or older to own one.

EDITORS NOTE: It’s a Federal Law….

So don’t hand us that crap that “young people” are driving Buicks, we know better

I won’t discuss the Capital One credit card commercials with Samuel L. Jackson….

He’s a flaming idiot, enough said….

But the Subway commercials epitomize what’s wrong in America today…

Listen closely….


That Includes YOUR children and Sandwiches!

Naming a sandwich the “Itazrtyisqt-met-oritz” With Melted Cheese is still just a made up word, and frankly that gave me a headache just writing it.

And to be honest, I don’t eat anything I can’t pronounce.

The same principle goes for your children….

Just because you want your child to be “unique” is no reason to name them after an ingredient on the back of a Listerine bottle.

O.k. so as you can see I still have a lot to learn about today’s game of college basketball

But I will tell you this….

I still miss “Pistol Pete”



Post Game….

You have another story on Mikerights.com

It’s different than what you have read in the past

I hope you enjoy it

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One Response to Embrace the Madness

  1. PJ on April 2, 2014 at 1:47 am

    C-A-T-S Cats. Cats. Cats
    UK baby…all the way!!
    There was never a doubt

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