2010 Pre-Season Extravaganza Part III

August 31, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen –

The official kickoff of the 2010 College Football Season is just days away…
And as you might expect your Week One College Football Picks will be out on Thursday
just in time for the start of the 2010 season.

But until then…..
I present your last installment of the Preseason College Football Extravaganza…
We will keep it short and sweet with late breaking college football new…..
and your long awaited prognostications on your Conference Championships

Let’s get down to business…


Before we discuss this seasons “Contenders and Pretenders”
Let’s catch up on College Football Team News from around the country.


Tallahassee, Florida:

Former Seminole Coach turned “author” Bobby Bowden is reported to have stolen the title of his new book “Called to Coach” from legendary Summerville South Carolina High School Coach John McKissick who penned a book with the same title in 1993.

When Coach Bobby was asked about this fact…..
He said he didn’t know who John McKissick was…

Really Coach? The reason I ask is this…..
YOU wrote an ENDORSEMENT on the COVER of Coach McKissick’s book…
Not to mention you have RECRUITED heavily in that area for years!

EDITORS NOTE: So you still don’t think Bobby is senile?

Salt Lake City, Utah:

Utah State University President Stan Albrecht is under fire for the disintegration of the once proud Western Athletic Conference (WAC) as Brigham Young seeks to play as an Independent and Nevada and Fresno State prepare to bolt for the Mountain West Conference in 2011.

It has been reported the board of trustees at Utah State University will be meeting to decide President Albrecht’s future with the university.

EDITORS NOTE: If you are wondering why this wasn’t reported by the national sports media, the answer is quite simple. This is happening in the WAC and nobody cares and neither should you.

On a recent episode of HBO’s “Hard Knocks” Inside the New York Jet’s Training Camp

This conversation was captured between two New York Jet veteran players concerning the level of intensity at practice of recent draft choice Joe McKnight from the University of Southern California Trojans.

“I thought they said he was all that, how come he doesn’t get after it”

“Maybe he’s not happy with his contract”

“He came from the Southern California Trojans, right?
He’s probably mad because he had to take a pay cut to come here”

EDITORS NOTE: Enough said….


BIG TEN, sorry I mean ELEVEN or TWELVE

Once again the Mighty Ohio State Buckeyes will take the Conference crown.
The only legitimate threat to the Buckeyes supremacy…..
Will come from the Iowa Hawkeyes when they meet in Kinnick Stadium on November 20th.

For those of you who are Fans of the Great Coach Jo Pa…
The Nittany Lions will do well, but fall short of the conference title…

The University of Illinois minus Chief Illini (Because he is a racist)
will be bowl eligible this year, believe it.

The Wisconsin Badgers are always dangerous as always….
and will threaten the Buckeyes on their trip to Madison.

The Michigan Wolverines “might” win six games this year, but I wouldn’t bet on it….
Coach Rod will “retire” or “step-down” at the end of the season….
(Because no coach at Michigan gets fired, right?)
Your new coach will be Les Miles of LSU, believe it…

(It has all the flavor of the Big 12, but less calories)

Nebraska will win the North Division of the BIG 12 (again) this year….
Remember you heard it here first…

The South Division will be ruled by the Mighty Longhorns of Texas
and will soundly thump the Oklahoma Sooners in the Red River Shoot-out in October.

The Oklahoma State Cowboys will continue to be scary

Dan Hawkins of the Colorado Buffalos will be fired by November

Some disgruntled Sooner fans will be calling for Coach Stoops head by December

The Baylor Bears will continue to be everyone’s Homecoming Game…


The Eastern Division of the Conference will be ruled by the Mighty Gators of Florida

The Georgia Bulldogs will make a run and fall short of expectations…

The Kentucky Wildcats will improve as will the South Carolina Gamecocks

The Tennessee Volunteer Fans….
Will be calling for Coach Derek Dooley to be fired by the end of the season…Believe it.

The Vanderbilt Commodores would have been in good shape if the dumbass alumni and boosters hadn’t tried to tell Coach Johnson how to run his program.
I mean after all, he only took the Commodores to their first bowl game in 100 years.

The Western Division will be won by the defending National Champions…..

The University of Alabama Crimson Tide
But they will have competition….

The Arkansas Razorbacks have the best quarterback in the country…
And if they can muster some defense, they could take the crown from Alabama.

The LSU Tigers will be dangerous this year and if they can stay health, they could find themselves in Atlanta

The Auburn Tigers are better, much better than has been reported
And they too have the ability to shake up the standings and make a run at the Division Crown.

Coach Dan Mullen of Mississippi State has the Bulldogs on the rise….

I don’t have anything good to say about Houston Nutt or Ole Miss….
So I won’t say anything at all….


The Virginia Tech Hokies will win the Coastal Division Crown this year and the Florida State Seminoles will win the Atlantic Division, despite not being on the Atlantic Ocean.

But I wouldn’t count out…..

The Clemson Tigers….
The Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech…
The Hurricanes of Miami….

My Upset Sleeper…
The Mighty Clemson Tigers
Don’t count them out of any game this year…


The Southern Miss Golden Eagles will win the Eastern Division of the Conference..

The Western Division will be won by the Houston Cougars…
Believe it….
And the Cougars will win the Conference title this year

My Proud Ponies of SMU will return to a Bowl game again this year

The Tulsa Golden Hurricanes won’t be going to a Bowl game
(I still think their nickname sounds nasty…)

The Thundering Herd will take the Son’s of Marshall Bowling this year…

And as a side note….
To get you in the mood for the upcoming college football season
Be sure and see “We Are Marshall”
Not only is my buddy Matthew McConaughey in it, but it is a great movie.
If you haven’t seen it, you don’t know what you are missing…

Matthew, I told you I would get a plug in for you…

PAC 10 or 11….12?

Not that I care, because I don’t….

But despite what all the talking heads in the sports media say about Stanford and Oregon..
I will tell you the Mighty Washington Huskies will win the Conference Title this year…providing Jake Locker stays healthy.

My sleeper pick….
The Oregon State Beavers
With one of the toughest schedules in the nation….
If they are able to survive the early half of the season they will be dangerous….


The Pittsburg Panthers should win the Big East this year.
If they don’t win the crown, look for Coach Dan to be shown the door..

The West Virginia Mountaineers will challenge for the title….
If they don’t….
Their beloved Coach may be sent packing

This year Coach Holtz will be on the South Florida sidelines coaching the Bulls.
(Not that coach Holtz, the one that doesn’t sound like Sylvester the cat)

The Louisville Cardinals will have Coach Charlie Strong at the helm
he is one of the finest defensive coordinators in the game today….
I wish him well; he has a lot of work to do….

Also the Orange of Syracuse will continue to suck….


The Broncos of Boise State will win the Conference Title this year (Big surprise)
But they will not go undefeated this season….


The Mighty Horned Frogs of Texas Christian University will once again win the Conference Title
and very well may be in the mix for the Championship game at the end of the year.

But you better keep your eye on the two Utes from Utah…

The winner of the 2010 Armed Forces Trophy will be….
I will give you a hint….

It rhymes with “Gravy”…..


This is just too easy…

There is Notre Dame and NBC….

Merritt Hooligan’s Taxidermy Academy

McDonald’s McRib University

The remaining members of “O-Town”

The Muppets

I am going to go out on a limb and pick the Golden Gnome’s


My Guess…..
The Horned Frogs of Texas Christian and The Ohio State Buckeyes


There is more on the way…..

Hootie Snitch will check in tomorrow….
With his unique and often disturbing view of college football
And Thursday your Week One College Football Picks will be out….

So Stay Tuned……


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One Response to 2010 Pre-Season Extravaganza Part III

  1. Lee on September 6, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    Michael, Michael, Michael….great to see you back and better than ever!

    As much as I dislike social networks, had to give you a plug on Facebook. This is one of your finer efforts!



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