Ladies and Gentlemen –
In Honor of the Marine Corps Birthday on Saturday and Veterans Day on Sunday
I present your Week 11 College Football Picks
Happy 237th Birthday Marines….
Now get your hands out of your damn pockets and go back to work
Enjoy your Picks….
POST GAME COMMENTARY
Last Week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator bounced back….
The CFB Wizard was 52 and 16 or 76 % for Week 10
(Not too bad all things considered…)
For the season I stand at 557 and 143 or 80% for the season
It’s hard to believe I have picked 700 games already this season
(Forgive me I had a moment of self gratifying adulation there for a minute)
SOUTH GEORGIA FOOTBALL NEWS and VIEWS
Welcome from the Heart of SEC Country!!!
What a great weekend for football!
The weather has cooled down and there’s a little nip in the air in the mornings down here in South Georgia, so that means it’s the time of the year for some serious games with playoff implications. And speaking of serious games, Friday was a night to see just how serious the Boys in Blue were about turning this program around against the always powerful stalwart of 2A, Charlton County in town. Turns out these young gladiators are quite serious as they defeated the Indians by a 29-21 score in a Thriller on Third Street. It was a nip and tuck game from start to finish but Telfair played disciplined football and finally pulled away in the 4th quarter to get the win. Coach Burleson, although happy for the win, wasn’t overly enthusiastic in his assessment of the game, no doubt to keep his Horde grounded. Said Burleson, “One more win, one more step, One more goal accomplished. That’s how we’re doing it down here. We’ve got a chance to have a special season around here if we keep our heads down and focus on the little things. So far, these boys have done a good job of it. Let’s see what we can do next week against Wilcox County.” It’s the last game of the season, on the road, against the perennial playoff contender Patriots. Good Luck, Trojans!!!!
Up in Athens, a bunch of Insurgents from Oxford attempted to capture the hedges of Sanford Stadium but were repelled by Mark Richt’s Feisty Hounds. The Rebs took an early 10-0 lead but the Aaron Murray led Canines put up a counter-offensive and came away with a 37-10 victory. It wasn’t Sherman’s March to the Sea, but Murray torched the visitors for 4 touchdown passes, 380+ yards, and zero interceptions. The Defense did their part by hunkering down and stifling the Ole Miss offense after their first barrage, with a safety, 2 fumble recoveries, and an interception to put their stamp on this important game in the march to SEC East supremacy. Next up for the Cow College is a short trip to the Plains of Alabama to take on the Kittens of Auburn to try to confirm their reservations for a trip to the SEC Title game.
Also Saturday, the Slide Rule Jocks took a trip to College Park, Maryland to see if they couldn’t get their calculators fixed and get a porous defense back on track. The Wreck came away with a 33-13 victory but it was against a Turtle team that was forced to scour the Want Ads before coming up with a Redshirt Freshman linebacker to guide the offense after losing 4, that’s right 4, quarterbacks over the course of the season. Don’t know if it was the Bee’s D that was swarming, or the Turtles lack of a proven signal caller, but the Techsters had a 205-61 advantage in total yardage and a shutout in the first half enroute to the victory. There are rumblings down on North Avenue beginning to surface. Here’s hoping Tech can continue to turn things around against the Chapel Hill Goats.
The news wasn’t so good up at Paulson Stadium, as the Blue Birds were singing the Statesboro Blues after a disappointing loss to App State’s Mountain Men. This one was close from start to finish but the Homesteaders put the clamps on the Eagles in the second half. The Birds had their chance on their final drive but a penalty deep in App State territory put a dagger through the Eagle Creek faithful, followed by an interception to seal the deal. In the last 3 games in which one of these teams was ranked Number One in FCS, the lower ranked visitor has come in and knocked the favorite off. Overall, another great game in what is becoming a storied SoCon rivalry.
To paraphrase Les Miles, Death Valley is a place dreams come to die. He was, indeed, correct. Only this time it was the Bayou Bengals dreams whose dreams were trounced by the Alabama Pachyderms in an exciting mano-y-mano slobberknocker of a football game. The crowd was loud and the atmosphere electric as the behemoths’ of the SEC West fought it out for 60 minutes. There were tricks and treats in this post Halloween extravaganza but in the end the visitors from T-Town proved a little too much for the Baton Rouge Tigers and eased out of town with a 21-17 win. Next up for the Tide are the upstart Agriculturalists of College Station who want to prove that they are worthy of SEC glory.
The Tigers take on the fading Starkville Canines who are trying to get back to their winning ways. The Plainsmen of Auburn entertained the lowly; Aggies of New Mexico State in a game which provided about as much excitement as watching grass grow. The cellar dwellers of the WAC followed the script perfectly in playing whipping boy to the War Eagle by being on the short end of a 42-7 score. Next up for the Cats is a trip to Athens for a renewal of “The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry.” The Tigers hold a one game edge, 54-53-8, in this rivalry, but it looks like it’ll be all tied up after Saturday. It was rumored that Coach Derek Dooley was carrying a fire extinguisher around after halftime of the Coonskinners game against the Trojans of Troy, Alabama. With Troy leading 31-30 at the half, the Orange Clad faithful were seen flicking their Bics up in the stands as they were fully prepared to fire up Dooley’s hotseat if things got out of hand. As it turned out the visitors actually outgained the Vols in a record setting day for the offense and defense. The O gained 718 yards, but the D gave up 721. Amazing. Dooley may need to break out the asbestos Fruit of the Looms as they finish up against Mizzou, Vandy, and Kentucky, with only one of those games being in the “sure fire win” category.
What I like:
Bo Wallace – If that isn’t a good Southern name for an SEC quarterback, then I don’t know what is.
Alabama vs LSU – Football the way it’s supposed to be played. For those with Attention Deficit Disorder you had Oregon/USC. For those that know what defenses are actually supposed to be used for in the game of football there was Bama/LSU.
Zach Mettenberger – The Junior from Watkinsville had a good game against Bama. He struggled earlier in the season but seems to be coming into his own.
What I don’t like:
Commercials – The game of College Football is commercialized enough. Add in the TV timeouts, kickoff timeouts, punt timeouts, et al, ad-nauseum, and it takes away from the enjoyment of the game. And, I think, can actually be a factor in changing momentum in a close game.
That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week.
And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.
These are your future collegians of tomorrow.
Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth
Tuesday November 6th
Ball State at Toledo
I cannot begin to tell you how certain I am of this pick….
It’s like I have ESP or something…
Wednesday November 7th
Bowling Green at Ohio
I am telling you….
This feeling that has come over me about this pick…
It’s like I can see into the future…
Thursday November 8th
Louisiana Monroe at Arkansas State
They call this game “The Trail of Tears Classic”
The Mighty Warhawks got the Rage of the Cajun’s last week…
They will have their hands full with the Red Wolves tonight
Florida State at Virginia Tech
These bunch of Hokies are playing like frozen Butterball Turkeys…
JUMBO’S NOLES 33-14
North Alabama at West Alabama
This rivalry in Alabama is for more than bragging rights this year
The winner will make the Division III playoffs and the loser stays home
FLORENCE LIONS 34-31
Friday November 9th
Pittsburgh at Connecticut
I have on good authority that ESPN’s Pam Ward will be “announcing” this game…
She sounds like a cat that is being neutered with a shrimp fork
Saturday November 10th
Texas A&M at Alabama
This is going to be a slugfest in T-Town…
Let the Best Men win….
CRIMSON TIDE 28-24
Kansas State at Texas Christian
Despite the fact I am “feeling” Upset Special here…
I will go with the Kansas Cats…
Notre Dame at Boston College
Believe it or not….
This is actually a rivalry
It’s played for “The Frank Leahy Memorial Bowl”
“The Ireland Trophy”
If I was betting man….
I would say there will be some drinking at this game
GOLDEN GNOMES 41-17
Oregon at California
Da Bears are Da Da Done….
Princeton at Yale
I’m serious, they really don’t
Mississippi State at LSU
There isn’t anything as dangerous as a wounded Tiger…
And before you ask…
“Yes” even more dangerous than Wynonna Judd with a blister on her heel
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 34-17
Louisville at Syracuse
This Orange Juice has expired….
(I know what I’m talking about; I checked the date on the container)
STRONGER CARDINALS 33-17
Oregon State at Stanford
Some people might call this pick an “Upset”
I’m all about the Beaver
MIGHTY BEAVERS 34-28
Baylor at Oklahoma
The national sports media has written the Sooners off….
BOOMER SOONERS 41-17
Maryland at Clemson
I don’t know if I have taken the time to mention it….
But the “new” Maryland Terrapins uniforms are the ugliest damn things I have ever seen.
They are like hemorrhoids on your eyes; they are Eye Hemorrhoids.
DABO’S TIGERS 41-24
Dayton at Marist
You can rave all you want about Dayton…
But that Marist is a real Fox
RED FOX 24-20
Arizona State at Southern California
You want to read something funny?
Just two years ago…..
Stewart “Howie” Mandel of Sports Illustrated said this….
“I guarantee you in 2012 the Southern California Trojans will win the National Championship”
(That still cracks me up)
LAME TROJANS 41-21
Kansas at Texas Tech
I have been accused recently (unjustly I might add)…
Of being “too negative” towards the Kansas Jayhawks
So let me say this….
While in beautiful Lubbock Texas be sure and go to the Buddy Holly Museum
(It may help take the sting out of the West Texas Ass Kicking you are going to get)
GET THOSE GUNS UP! RED RAIDERS! 44-21
Sul Ross State at East Texas Baptist
I believe Ole Sul is going to soil his britches when he sees those big Texas Baptist boys
EAST BOUND AND DOWN 34-17
(I am so glad I finally got a Jerry Reed reference in this year’s picks)
West Virginia at Oklahoma State
Do you remember last week when I told the Mountaineer fans….
“Save your lighter fluid Mountaineer fans, there is always next week”
COWBOY UP! 38-34
Wake Forest at North Carolina State
I am serious….
That Demon Deacon mascot really creeps me out
Georgia Tech at North Carolina
By the third game of the season….
The Heels were already Tarred
YELLOW JACKETS 31-21
Army at Rutgers
Ok West Point…
Your physiological warfare against me has finally taken its toll
Week after week…
I “pick” you to win and you lose
I “pick” you to lose and you win
Congratulations on your “Win” this week
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 28-17
Muhlenberg at Moravian
I hate to be the Master of the Obvious here…
But that Moron can’t play football
MULE GIRL 28-14
Cincinnati at Temple
The Owls can be a dangerous team when the mood strikes them..
They won’t be worth a Hoot on Saturday
Miami (FL) at Virginia
There was a time when this game was crucial to the Atlantic Coast Conference..
I just can’t remember what time that was…
Utah at Washington
I hate to have to say this to Utah…..
They are going to need more than Two Utes to tame these Big Dogs
Coastal Carolina at Presbyterian
Someone on the CFB Wizard staff told me this past week…
“The Chanticleers were going to be all over the Blue Ho’s on Saturday”
“Don’t they make medication for that?”
MEDICAL CONDITION 28-24
Citadel at Virginia Military Academy
This rivalry game is called…..
“The Military Classic of the South”
It’s played for the…..
Which looks like a bait fish with a funny hat on its head
UCLA at Washington State
In the words of the famous fictional Southerner Forrest Gump…
“These two teams are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get”
Indianapolis at Urbana
I got your Urbana right here Indianapolis
YOUR BANA 24-21
Arkansas at South Carolina
The Razorbacks have the potential to make this one interesting…
For how long, will depend on if the Hogs can spell “Defense” this week
Iowa State at Texas
Legendary Texas Coach Darrell K Royal passed away on Wednesday at the age of 88
I simply don’t have the words to say what a fine man, coach and mentor he was to so many.
I can’t thank him enough for taking the time to talk to a young high school player so many years ago.
To encourage him, to inspire him…..I won’t ever forget it.
God Bless you Coach, this one is for you…
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-24
Wisconsin at Indiana
This old Big Ten rivalry has been played each year since 1903…..
For the coveted…
“Petrified Pioneer Buffalo Turd”
(It’s hard to say real fast when you’ve been drinking, I’m just saying..)
CHEESE CURLS 31-28
Juniata at Susquehanna
This Brawl between the two toughest gals in the Trailer Park is played for…
“The Goal Post”
They used to fight it out for who got the swing set from the trailer park…
But the other folks in the park complained
SUSIE Q 21-17
Northwestern at Michigan
This Big Ten or Whatever rivalry doesn’t have a name..
And do you know why?
Because Michigan always wins…
Purdue at Iowa
Another Big Ten Rivalry on the slate this week…
It doesn’t have a real name but that doesn’t make it any less important
This game is played for a collection of Little Richard Records….
Good Golly Miss Molly
Louisiana Lafayette at Florida
The Gators are over their Bulldog hangover…
And they are angry….
MIGHTY GATORS 34-10
Missouri at Tennessee
Call me crazy if you want to…
It’s nothing I haven’t already heard from Mental Health Professionals
Florida Atlantic at Western Kentucky
I would feel considerably better about the Owls in this game…
If they were sponsored by “Hooters”
I think it’s a natural sponsorship, I’m just saying
Kent State at Miami (OH)
I want to clear up an unfounded rumor here and now….
The term “Golden Flash” doesn’t have anything to do with a geriatric streaker.
(Although there is something funny and slightly creepy about that idea)
GOLDEN FLASHES 28-24
Howard at Georgia Southern
He is going to get his ass kicked between his shoulder blades
SOUTHERN EAGLES 44-10
Salisbury at Frostburg State
This game reminds me….
I need to take the Salisbury steaks out of the freezer to thaw out…
And I could use a Frosty one while I finish these picks…
SAM ADAMS 24-14
Central Michigan at Eastern Michigan
The damn Chippewa’s have been almost as dyslexic as the West Point team this year..
(If you have a hard time reading that, try reading it backwards)
Colorado at Arizona
I was going to pick the Buffalos to win this game…..
But I’m not that liquored up
Massachusetts at Akron
The Minutemen’s Minute was up in the first game of the season…
ZIPPY the PINHEADS 44-24
Penn State at Nebraska
I am still a believer in the Lions….
Not so much in the Children of the Corn
NITTANY LIONS 31-28
Air Force at San Diego State
I would pull for the Ancient San Diego Aztecs…
But their mascot is not historically correct
MIGHTY FALCONS 34-14
San Jose State at New Mexico State
I was trying to think of something good to say about San Jose…
But it’s in California…………….
So there you have it…
LASSO LARRY 28-24
Mars Hill at Carson Newman
Since there is a college called “Mars Hill” if there isn’t a…
(I don’t care who you are, that’s funny)
SPARKS EAGLES 44-21
Wyoming at New Mexico
I wouldn’t call this an “Upset”…
I just say….
COWBOY UP! 33-17
Minnesota at Illinois
Another Big Ten or Whatever Game and that means…
Another rivalry game…
This one is played for the “Victory Sock Puppet”
(Those things are fun, even when you’re alone)
O’ SO very GOLDEN GOPHERS 41-17
Lycoming at Misericordia
Misery has an Ass Whipping Lycoming…
HERE THEY COME 54-0
Navy at Troy
It’s the Marine Corps Birthday…
Don’t disappoint me Navy..
Ouachita Baptist at Henderson State
It’s about time Ole Henderson got Baptized
GOTCHA BAPTIST 24-17
Western Michigan at Buffalo
I know, I know you don’t have to remind me…
Buffalo winged out a victory last week….
But that winning streak will end at “one” for the Buffalo Wild Wings
Marshall at UAB
We are too close to November 14th for me not to pick the Thundering Herd
WE ARE MARSHALL 33-17
Delta State at Shorter
You can pile through all the statistical data you want….
But Shorter will still come up short in this one…
FIGHTING OKRA 31-14
Tulsa at Houston
If I had dementia I might actually enjoy watching this game..
Because then it would be easy to forget how bad both of these teams are.
GOLDEN HURRICANES 21-17
Northwestern Oklahoma State at Arkansas Monticello
Little known fact….
In “Spanish” Boll Weevils is pronounced…
“El Boll Weevils”
(And some people say my articles aren’t educational)
BOLL WEEVILS 23-17
South Dakota State at North Dakota State
This cross state rivalry is played for “The Dakota Marker”
Let the Buffalo Roam….
MIGHTY BISONS 34-28
South Alabama at North Texas
The Jaguars will keep this one a lot closer than you might think..
A Lot closer…
MEAN GREEN 24-21
Georgia at Auburn
The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry game…
It’s going to be a good one…
HUNKER DOWN DAWGS 34-24
Boise State at Hawaii
I have on “good authority” that Dog the Bounty Hunter is Chuck Norris’s half brother
So keep that in mind if you are considering any shenanigans while you are in Hawaii
Louisiana Tech at Texas State
It’s a very simple premise…
Dogs tree Cats….
Don’t any of you ever watch Animal Planet?
Portland State at Montana State
The same formula (above) does not work in regards to “Vikings” and “Cats”
St Olaf at St Thomas
I don’t know if Tommy can handle Olaf, he’s a big Ole boy
ST OLIES 24-17
UNLV at Colorado State
I have missed a few games with Coach Jim….
But I still have faith….
RAM TOUGH 28-24
Vanderbilt at Ole Miss
Coach Franklin’s Commodores gave Kentucky their worse loss to Vandy in 96 years last week…
He has them rolling and I’m on board
Tulane at Memphis
This is the very first time all season I have picked the Tigers to actually win a game..
Thank you, Thank you very much
ELVIS’S TIGERS 28-24
Bye Week at Kentucky
This one is No Joke….
BYE BYE 45-0
Bacone College at McMurry
FRED MCMURRAY 24-10
MIGHTY MISTANGS 41-17
Central Florida at Texas El Paso
I had something cleaver to say here….
But I am still laughing so hard over the video I can’t remember what it was…
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 44-28
Idaho at Brigham Young
As expected the “Ida Honkies” are scheduled to perform at halftime in this game..
However they will not be doing their “Pole Dancing” routine due to the expected frigid weather.
(They don’t want to have to call the fire department to get them off the poles..again)
Fresno State at Nevada
There will be a lot of dogs running around in this one…
I am going with the wild ones…
In Honor of the Marine Corps Birthday and Veteran’s Day
I will have a story for you on Saturday
I think you will like it
So stay tuned…
Enjoy your games…
THE CFB WIZARD