College Football Picks Week 10

November 1, 2012

Ladies and Gentlemen –

Halloween is behind us…

That marvelous time when children of all ages..

Dress in costumes and go from house to house and collect food from complete strangers

Then take it home and eat it with complete disregard to their safety.

Ah, Good Times

Enjoy your Picks….


They say you are never too old to learn….

That’s a True Statement

Because I learned a lot this past Halloween

Like what you may ask?

I learned that “creativity” is alive and well at Halloween amongst College Football Fans

Case in point these fine people from Arkansas in the below picture…

That’s just funny as hell, I don’t care who you are

I also learned that just because a little kid is fat, you shouldn’t ask him or her why they didn’t go as “Porky the Pig” this year for Halloween, or at least don’t ask them that in front of their parents.

I also learned that everyone doesn’t share my keen sense of humor
(You would have thought I would have known that by now)

I say that because some of my neighbors thought my Halloween display was somehow “inappropriate”

Click on the picture and You be the judge…

I think they frowned on my Halloween display because they are closet Butt Chuggers

Butt that aside….(No Pun intended)

Last Week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was a horrid 45 and 22 or 67% (OUCH!)
Leaving the CFB Wizard at 505 and 127 or hovering at 80% for the season.

And not that it’s all that important here….

But If my neighbors didn’t like my Halloween display……….

Wait till they see what I have planned for Thanksgiving


Greetings from the heart of SEC Country!!!

The excitement continues to build for the Third Street Blue Crew as they continue their quest for a spot in the postseason. The Trojans made the trip to Lakeland, Georgia to try to exact a little revenge against a pack of mangy Mutts who had handed them losses in each of the last 2 seasons. The Gladiators of McRae got what they were looking for as they came away with a tough 30-13 road win that upped their season record to 5-3. The last time these kids had a comparable record was way back in 2006 when most of these youngsters were still in elementary school. The Trojans success has been due in large part to Coach Matt Burleson who came in with a fresh outlook and new way of thinking. The Trojans have 2 tough games left on the season with a home game against always tough Charlton County and a difficult test in Rochelle against perennial power Wilcox County. So come on down to the South end of town and cheer on our Trojans as they attempt to close out the season on a winning note!!!

Although the Universities and TV networks don’t call it the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party any more, the mood was festive in Jacksonville as the Clark County Canines attempted to win back to back games against the Rough and Tumble Reptiles of Florida for the first time in recent memory. Anyone who traveled to that game or watched it on TV got their money’s worth as the Red Clay Hounds came away with a hard fought 17-9 victory in front of a sold out house. It was nip and tuck though out the day as the defenses held each other in check, until Aaron Murray found the shifty Malcom Mitchell for a 45 catch and run to put the Dawgs up for good. Next up for the Hounds is a game between the Hedges against the Upstart Oxford Rebels in a game to hold on and maintain control over the SEC East. Over on North Avenue in Hot’lanta it was homecoming for the Trade School but the event was marred by a bunch of hungry Cats from Utah as the Slide Rule Jocks were crushed 41-17. It was the fourth time this season the D has allowed 40 plus points in a game. The Offense sputtered, the Defense collapsed, and special teams were another problem area for the 3-5 Bees whose season is heading to a Wreck of a conclusion. Let’s hope Paul Johnson can work a miracle in time for next week’s game against the Turtles of at Grant Field. It looks like the Blue Birds of Statesboro are walking a tightrope as they had a narrow escape from Chattanooga in a 3 overtime spectacular against a mean bunch of Snakes in Saturday’s 39-31 come from behind victory. This was another nip and tuck affair for Coach Jeff Monken’s Eagles but the visiting Birds fought through adversity to get the win.

The Columbia Chickens came away with a closer than expected victory over their Orange Clad visitors from Knoxville Saturday afternoon by a 38-35 score. But it was an expensive one as the Roosters lost their star Running Back, Marcus Lattimore. To me, the game became a footnote as we watched this young man lie in agony on the field of Williams-Brice Stadium in what probably was his last game in the Garnett and Black and maybe ended his career. This is a kid who plays for an opponent in a blood feud rivalry with my Dawgs, but I will pray diligently for his speedy recovery and return to the gridiron. Out in Columbia West, the Felines of Mizzou trounced a demoralized and de-fanged bunch of Kitties from Lexington by a 33-10 score for their first SEC victory. The Tigers will now travel to the Swamp to face a bunch of angry Gators who, no doubt, will be anxious to take out their frustrations on their next victim. Over on the Plains the punchless kitties of Auburn fell victim to the College Station Farm Hands 63-21, in a game that spiraled out of control early and only got worse. The War Birds of Prey turned into a Flock of Sea Gulls as Johnny “Football” Manziel roasted them in only a little more than 2 quarters work. Next up for the Cats is a visit from New Mexico State in a battle of 1 win futility. Finally, Did we really think that those Crimson Pachyderms were going to get bitten by the Dawgs of Starkeville? I didn’t, but I thought this matchup might prove to be closer than the 38-7 score might indicate. The Canines fought hard but the superior size, strength, and athleticism of The Evil Genius’s thundering horde proved too much as they fell behind early and never recovered from the shock. Next week is the annual showdown for SEC West supremacy, in a no holds barred death match as the Crimson Tide travel to Death Valley. It’s an 8 pm affair, so as wrestling announcer Jim Ross used to say, “Don’t miss it.. BE THERE!!!!”

Things I like:

Tennessee Volunteers – It was a sad sight out on that Football Field in Columbia Saturday as Marcus Lattimore lay in agony. I expected the Gamecocks to come off the bench to wish the young man well. What I didn’t expect was for the entire bench of the Tennessee Volunteers to empty as they surrounded their competitor in what was a heart wrenching show of respect for a fallen warrior. Well done, Vols, Well done.

Junkyard Dawgs Defense – Erk would have been proud. Larry Munson would have been hoarse. These ghosts of Bulldogs past were surely pacing the field and occupying the press box as the Georgia Defense thoroughly dominated the Gators to the tune of 6 forced turnovers and limiting them to 3 field goals.

Shawn Williams – I normally wouldn’t condone Twitting, or whatever you call it, derogatory messages about teammates. But apparently this is what woke up a sleeping giant. And, as The Outlaw Josey Wales once said, “When things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean.” They did and the final score reflected it.

What I don’t like:

Bill King – I mentioned this guy a week or two ago. I’m not prone to personal attacks on people but this guy is nothing but a blowhard with a computer. What are his qualifications for his “Blawg”? Why he’s a “lifelong Georgia fan.” Wow. And that qualifies him to pass off his juvenile assessments on the Offense, Defense, Coaching Staff, or Game Plan? These self-described lifelong fans create more headache and controversy for Head Coaches than any rogue booster ever could by creating divisiveness within the fan base. Just proves the point about idiots who have enough money to buy electronic equipment.

That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week.
And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.
These are your future collegians of tomorrow.

Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth


Thursday November 1st

Eastern Michigan at Ohio
The Bobcats were caught napping last week and their undefeated season went out the window..
The will be on the prowl this Saturday…

Virginia Tech at Miami (FL)
Thanksgiving is right around the corner…
So I have to go with the Gobblers..
(It’s a rule)

Middle Tennessee State at Western Kentucky
This game is going to be a slugfest from the opening quarter to the final whistle
I am going “Upset” here…

Texas A&M Kingsville at Valdosta State
I think it only appropriate that the “Men’s Warehouse” sponsors the Blazers…
I’m just saying…

Friday November 2nd

Washington at California
The Dogs bit the Mighty Beavers last week and well..
Da Bears are Da Done for the season

Saturday November 3rd

Missouri at Florida
Do you remember the “Three Stooges” episode when Curley hit Moe in the head with a brick?
Yeah, this one is going to hurt a lot worse than that for this Mo

Temple at Louisville
I think it’s admirable that the Big East will hire mentally challenged people as referees…
But just a suggestion….
Leave them at the house this week and use the “regular” guys, ok?

Oklahoma at Iowa State
I smell a “Let Down” here…
Either that or “Doc” my Black Lab is licking his butt again

Texas A&M at Mississippi State
Call it a feeling……
Which I hope is not caused by the Chinese take-out I got last night
On that subject I have a question…
Is it customary to have a flea collar in your shrimp fried rice, I’m just asking.

Moravain at Juniata
I have on good authority that Juanita knows a Moron when she sees one…
She’s been married six times…
J-LO 24-17

Columbia at Harvard
Nobody Cares….
They really don’t

Vanderbilt at Kentucky
I want to put a stop to a strange rumor that has spread across the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
The University of Kentucky Wildcats WILL NOT be scheduling the undefeated 5A Harlan County Black Bears next season because early reports indicate they would be 21 point underdogs at home in Lexington. I hope that has cleared up any misunderstanding

Arkansas Monticello at Southwestern Oklahoma
The Bulldogs are playing more like Tea Cup Poodles….
Plus I just enjoy saying…

Michigan at Minnesota
Since 1903 these two teams have played each other for the “Little Brown Jug”
I bet that brew is ripe by now….

Houston at East Carolina
The Mighty Midshipmen sank the Pirates last week…
They will fly the Jolly Roger this week….
Grrrrrrrrrr PIRATES 34-17

Air Force at Army
The Mighty Falcons will defeat the Black Knights of the Hudson “if” they play on Saturday.
But there are some Soldiers in that area that NEVER take a day off for weather or anything else…

It’s important to remember


Appalachian State at Georgia Southern
The Mountaineers will make a run at the Eagles, but will leave with the Statesboro Blues

Miami (OH) at Buffalo
The Redhawks brought the heat to the Ohio Bobcats last week…
They will heat up the Buffalo Wings this week too..

Syracuse at Cincinnati
Last week…
The Orange juiced the Bulls and the Cats of Bear lost a squeaker to Louisville
This one is a toss-up…
But I am going with the Boys from the Home of Skyline Chili

Troy at Tennessee
I failed to mention last week that former Volunteer “coach” Phil Fulmer was honored….
Before the Tennessee – Alabama game with a “Lifetime Achievement Award” by the Bail Bondsman Association of America for his “contributions” to the industry.

Nice suit Philip

VOWELS 38-21

Tarleton State at North Alabama
My Mighty Lions will come roaring back this week….
Believe it..

Tulsa at Arkansas
I want to publically state that Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator
Is NOT a candidate for the Head Coaching Job of the Arkansas Razorbacks..
Despite the fact I do not own a Harley or know any female Volleyball players…
HAWGS 44-24

New Mexico State at Auburn
What I have to say here isn’t funny or cleaver…
On October 22nd Auburn Coach Gene Chizik’s mother Miss Rita passed away…
I have read some terribly ugly and classless things written by some Auburn fans related to her death.
You should all be damned ashamed of yourselves for such behavior.
God Bless you Coach, hang in there

Georgia Tech at Maryland
If you suffer from seizures, dyslexia or migraines please refrain from watching the University of Maryland and their “new” ugly ass uniforms on television.

North Dakota State at Missouri State
Bison beat a Bear; it’s like “Rock-Paper-Scissors” but with animals…

Virginia at North Carolina State
The Wolfpack got Tar Heeled last Saturday…
They should Howl at the Moon this week…

William Jewel College at Urbana
Why in the world would someone name a college after a bunion?
“Hey that Urbana of yours looks infected”
I don’t get it…

Western Michigan at Central Michigan
These Bronco’s have been busted down to carnival ride Shetland ponies..

Stanford at Colorado
I was going to call this one an “Upset Special”…
But then I realized I don’t use any hallucinogenic drugs.

Memphis at Marshall
Three words for you…
Delta State at Indianapolis
Those damn Yankees in Indiana don’t know anything about Okra…
Our how to make a decent pan of cornbread either I might add.

Akron at Kent State
The crack staff here at the CFB Wizard has uncovered an unusual factoid
If a hot flash is the sensation of a rise in body temperature.
Does a “Golden Flash” indicate a sudden urge to urinate?

Jackson State at Grambling State
Just as Grambling’s Tigers will always be Coach Rob’s Tigers to me…
I will always remember Jackson State as being Walter Payton’s Tigers
It’s how I roll…

Texas Christian at West Virginia
This is going to be a close one…
But there won’t be any couches burned on Saturday Night in Morgantown.
(Save your lighter fluid Mountaineer fans, there is always next week)

Ursinus at Muhlenberg
I received an email last week from a student organization at Ursinus…
They stated (among other things) that the CFB Wizard (me) “didn’t know anything about their college”
That “I was totally unaware that Ursinus had a magnificent culinary cooking department”
That I should “Write something positive” about the college “Instead of such mindless dribble”
Well I say Let them eat Cake then….

Washington State at Utah
The Cougars are well aware that there is more than one way to skin a big cat…
And it all starts with….
TWO UTES 34-17

Texas State at Utah State
The Utah Aggies are for real…
Believe it
AGGIES 41-24

Pittsburgh at Notre Dame
I cannot believe I am actually picking this game…
God Help me…

Montana at Weber State
Don’t get me wrong…
I LOVE Weber Grills
But their football team is going to get smoked by the Mighty….

Ole Miss at Georgia
The Black Bear Rebels has the same chance of winning this game….
As Mike Tyson does of winning Jeopardy

Texas at Texas Tech
Since 1928 these two Lonestar rivals have played each year for the coveted
“Chancellors Spurs”
I am physically and emotionally incapable of picking against the Longhorns

Nebraska at Michigan State
Halloween is over for the Children of the Corn

Iowa at Indiana
This Old Big Ten or Twelve (something or another) Rivalry is played each year….
For the “Victory Cow Pie”
I think the Hawkeyes have slipped and fell in it this year…

Boston College at Wake Forest
The Demon Deacons have been converted….
Baptism will commence promptly at 1600

Chattanooga at Western Carolina
I don’t know about you..
But if I walked into a Taxidermy store and some guy came out and said..
“I’m sorry I didn’t hear you come in, I was in the back with a Catamount”
I would leave immediately, because that just sounds nasty

Illinois at Ohio State
This Big Ten or something Rivalry is played for “Illibuck”
(NO I didn’t make that up)
It looks like something a Bull Frog pooped…
(I didn’t make that up either)

Kansas at Baylor
This past week Kansas Coach Charlie Weis needed a routine colonoscopy…
It was reported that they medical professionals found;
A half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich from 1966….
A side view mirror from a 1973 Buick Riviera
And a joy stick for a Sony Play Station 2
(Not that any of that matters here)
DA BEARS 44-24

Florida Atlantic at Navy
Last week the Midshipmen sent the East Carolina Pirates to Davey Jones’s Locker
They will put Florida in the Atlantic this week….

Massachusetts at Northern Illinois
I was thinking….
That If the Minutemen of Massachusetts combined with Rice University…
They could be “Minute Rice”
(I know, sometimes I think too much)

Penn State at Purdue
I still believe…..

Montana State at Sacramento State
You can swat a Hornet but if you do that with a Bobcat you get the hell clawed out of you
(I saw that on a “When Animals Attack” television show a few years ago)

Texas San Antonio at Louisiana Tech
Even thought Texas San Antonio is going to lose this game…
I will still wake up tomorrow morning and “Remember the Alamo”

Louisiana Lafayette at Louisiana Monroe
They call this rivalry in Louisiana
“The Battle on the Bayou”
This year it’s going to be all…

New Mexico at UNLV
At this particular point in the season I would encourage the “Running Rebels”
To change their name to the “Rascal Scooter Rebels”…
It’s not only accurate, but they could possibly get a nifty sponsorship out of the deal too
LOBO’S 28-24

Susquehanna at McDaniel College
This game doesn’t fool me….
I personally witnessed Johnny McDaniel get his ass whipped my Mary Jo Collins after shop class in the 9th grade, and Susie is a hell of a lot meaner than Mary Jo. I’m just saying…
SUSIE-Q 31-21

Colorado State at Wyoming
All indications point to a Cowboy win here….
But I think Coach Jim has something for them.

Arkansas State at North Texas
The Mean Green of Denton will keep it close for a while…
Then the Wolves will run away with it…

Oregon at Southern California
This game is like trying to decide who to pull for in a War between Iran and Syria
QUACK 51-49

Clemson at Duke
Did you happen to see the last game when the Blue Devils won at home?
Those two Duke students trying to tear down the goal post was just sad….
They won’t have to worry about that this week…

Carson Newman at Tusculum
I find it disturbing that someone would name their institution of higher learning…
After something that sounds like mucus

Connecticut at South Florida
I know, I know….
I have been hit and mostly miss with the Boy’s from Tampa this year
But I think I have this one figured out and that’s..
NO BULL 31-28

Hawaii at Fresno State
This Rivalry (yes, this is a rivalry game..)
Is played each year for the “The Golden Screwdriver”
Which, of course, is a “Screwdriver” made with fresh squeezed orange juice

Southern Methodist at Central Florida
My Poor Ponies……
(Damn it)

Southern Arkansas at Ouachita Baptist
In the words of the Great Hank Williams Sr.……
“I Saw the Light”…..

UAB at Southern Miss
This is Saturday night at the “Rock” in Hattiesburg..
It’s time Golden Eagles..

Alabama at LSU
“Death Valley on Saturday Night”
This is Big Boy Football, they way it was meant to be played

Oklahoma State at Kansas State
Cowboy Down…….

Wayland Baptist at Panhandle State
I have two comments here…
One: I think it’s just plain wrong to have a college that teaches and encourages students to panhandle.
Two: Before you ask, “NO” Wayland Baptist do NOT handle snakes during their church services. Due to budgetary constraints they now only handle young possums during the Sunday services.

Arizona State at Oregon State
It’s time to man up Beavers…..

San Diego State at Boise State
I am a bit confused over the San Diego mascot….
“Ancient Aztecs” in San Diego California?
Don’t hey mean “Illegal Aliens”?
Now there is a mascot that fits a university if I ever saw one…
BRONCO’S 41-24

Arizona at UCLA
Those new hair plugs seem to be working out for Rich Rod….
Not that it has anything to do with this game

Whittier at Occidental
It’s “Accidental” NOT “Occidental”
You don’t “Occidentally” spill something, do you?
Of course not….
Those people need to get it together

Enjoy your games…



Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One Response to College Football Picks Week 10

  1. Kaye on November 1, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Roll Tide Roll

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.