Ladies and Gentlemen –
Due to the busy schedule of “Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab and I during this season of working for Santa and selling our “new” book “Over Easy”, we will have one issue of college football bowls this year.
So, we will not reconvene until after the first of the year for the Championship game.
Consider this little gift as a Holiday time saver from The CFB Wizard.
Enjoy Your Bowl Picks
College Football News
KENTUCKY: Some of Our Brothers and Sisters in the Bluegrass are going to have a long climb in front of them after the Tornado’s last week. I encourage you to help them however you can and pray for them.
Pray very hard.
NAVY: Congratulations to the Midshipmen on a thrilling win over West Point last weekend.
With that win, Navy has also won the Commander in Chiefs Trophy this year.
Now, if we only had a Commander in Chief to award the trophy.
NCAA TRANSFER PORTAL: This transfer portal business has gotten out of control.
Christmas Safety Message
We have but one thing to remind you all of this Holiday Season….
Remember that every time you hear someone say “Ho-Ho-Ho”, a Tennessee Cheerleader gets her pom-pom’s squeezed.
End of the Year CFB Wizard Email Questions and Answers
Q: Hey Good Looking!
I read your latest book and it is AWESOME!
I know you love Christmas from your book, so what’s your favorite Christmas movie?
Tami – New Orleans, Louisiana
A: Thank you so much Tami, I am glad you enjoyed it.
My Favorite Christmas movie is “The Dirty Dozen.”
Lee Marvin is like Santa Claus and his 12 Elf’s are fighting the Grinch that tries to steal Freedom.
Q: Dear Sir,
I am Tracy Stone-Manning, the Director of the Bureau of Land Management, or BLM for short. Due to your wide circulation and because you are a world-famous published author, I am appealing to you to get the word out on a serious bit of confusion which has been occurring.
It appears that there has been a bit of a misconception as to the purpose of our agency by many activists, protestors, and Antifa individuals. Many people have come to our offices trying to meet with Black Lives Matters leaders since the fiery but peaceful protests began last year.
This has led to many uncomfortable scenes at our headquarters in Washington D.C. upon discovering that we are not an all-minority agency and have no guidance or information for them on upcoming protests and marches. Please, please, for the love of God, spread the word that we are not THAT BLM.
BLM (Not the other one)
A:Consider it done ma’am
Q: Thank you for both websites and your stories this year!
My family thoroughly enjoy them every week!
We have a little holiday bet in our family this year and hope you can help us.
Here goes, what’s your favorite Christmas song?
There is homemade gingerbread on the line for this bet!
Dana – Birmingham, Alabama
A: Thank you for the wonderful email Dana.
I sure do and here it is, enjoy.
Q: Hello –
My wife and I are Tennessee Volunteer fans and season ticket holders.
We are also Baptist and feel very uncomfortable in attending the Trans Perfect Bowl game with the Volunteers. I just don’t know why Coach Juicy Nipples or whatever his name is would even accept the bowl invitation.
What should we do?
The Tompkins Family – Nashville, Tennessee
A: After you get Ru Paul’s autograph go see your pastor and confess.
Q: Question for you sir.
Is there anything “special” you would like for Christmas this year?
Enquiring minds want to know.
Mandy – Spartanburg, South Carolina
A: Thank you for the kind email Mandy.
I would appreciate one of these for Christmas, that would be nice.
As well know, one of our little Christmas traditions is to include a Christmas message from the self-proclaimed Number One Tennessee Volunteer Fan in the World!
Ladies and Gentlemen I present Mr. Hootie Snitch of Baneberry Tennessee
Twas the day after Vandy, and all ‘round tha state
We was giddily waiting to hear are bowl fate
The cards were lined up to get a bowl bid
Like a warm weather site to reflect what we did
Tha fans were excited, and got in their head
We’d be in Orlando, their joy was widespread
Juicy Nipple, our coach, with his big ole man boobs
Would send opposition, right down tha tubes
Then came the news that caused a big clatter
I ran got a paper, to see what’s tha matter
Are blood got ta boilin’, are teeth they did gnash
We tore up are TV’s, are tempers did flash
Tha gall a some folks, ta keep us round here
Ta play down in Nashville, after are stellar year
We beat us some people, we beat em real bad
And get Music City? After what we just had?
With a big win to start, we beat Bowlin’ Green
I knew at that moment, we’s back on tha scene
Pitts-burgh was a stumble, that we coulda won,
Then Tennessee Tech, we beat like a drum
Lost Flarda, beat M’ssouri, beat Car’lina, too
We had us record, we stood four and two!
Then Rebels! From Ole Miss, them cheatin’ Land Sharks!
We shoulda beat them, shoulda seen all the sparks!
As God as my witness, them Rebs wuz a cheatin’
Right when are team’s bout ta give them a beatin’
So end a the game, as their players was floppin’
With a gut full a likker, all are fans wuz a hoppin’
And then in a twinkling came a bottle a water
Then golf balls and mustard, as are tempers got hotter
As I watched all tha fussin’ and cussin’ abound
Them cheaters they won, then they packed and left town
Then we dressed up in Urnge, from are head to are toes
Playin’ Bammers in T-Town, with their roster a pros
Yeah cheatin’ ass Bama, down in that ole hell-hole
And beat us with players, bout half that they stole
Then we won three of four, lost to Georgia agin’
Got’em on the ropes early, scared them outta their skin
Lot’s a people they told us, that we couldn’t do it,
Yeah, we lost lots of players, but we didn’t have Pruitt.
But are coach is a man, a jolly ole soul
Got a gut like a big ole, Christmas punch bowl
He’s got ruddy cheeks, like he’s drankin’ all night
But boy let me tell ya, he makes are boys fight
He’ll makes us a winner, prob’ly next year I’d thank
And we’ll beat up on Bama, and Flarda we’ll spank.
Then we’ll turn it on Georgia, yeah we’ll give em a poundin’
Cause that’s how we do it, up here on tha mountin
Yeah, he’ll jump on the sidelines, from whistle to whistle
Are QB will throw, footballs just like a missile
At the dam Music City Bowl, scoreboard we will ignite,
Merry Bowl Season to all! And to all a good night!!!
THE BOWL GAMES
Friday 17 December
Middle Tennessee and Toledo
This bowl game is on the island of the Bahamas, NOT the town in North Carolina.
Just so you know
BLUE RAIDERS 34-31
Tailgreeter Cure Bowl
Northern Illinois and Coastal Carolina
I have been asked to leave a party or two in my time for being a “Tail Greeter” and I am not so sure there is a “cure” for that, just saying.
CAROLINA BIRDS 41-38
James Madison at North Dakota State
It’s going to be one heck of a game in the Fargo Dome.
Don’t leave your seats.
MIGHTY BISON 31-28
Saturday 18 December
Roof Claim.com Boco Raton Bowl
Western Kentucky and Appalachian State
My roof is just fine, thank you for asking.
PUBG Mobile New Mexico Bowl
Texas El Paso and Fresno State
I fail to understand what a little flat faced dog, my favorite city in Alabama and the state of New Mexico have in common here.
This Bowl game is far to confusing for me.
Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl
Alabama Birmingham and Brigham Young
I miss the Poulan Weed Eater – Independence Bowl
I said what I said
Lending Tree Bowl
Eastern Michigan and Liberty
So, there IS a damn Money Tree! My High School guidance counselor said that was BS!
Well whose right NOW Mrs. Crowder?
THE INSURANCE PEOPLE 41-38
Jimmy Kimmel LA Bowl sponsored by Stifel
Utah State and Oregon State
This bowl game should more accurately be called:
Late Night Not Humorous Democratic Toady Bowl Sponsored by Let’s Go Brandon
R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Louisiana Lafayette and Marshal
All this pandemic stuff makes me leery of attending a bowl game with the word “carriers” in it.
RAJUN CAJUNS 41-24
Valdosta State and Ferris State
The Division II Championship Game
This is going to be a shoot-out in beautiful McKinney Texas.
Monday 20 December
Myrtle Beach Bowl presented by Tax Act
Old Dominion and Tulsa
I love me some Myrtle Beach South Carolina
GOLDEN HURRICANES 34-28
Tuesday 21 December
Famous Potato Bowl
Kent State and Wyoming
So, let me be sure I have this right.
There is only ONE “Famous Potato”?
What did it do, save a baby from a burning building?
I don’t get it
COWBOY UP 28-24
Tropical Smoothie Café Frisco Bowl
Texas San Antonio and San Diego State
Although this is a very confusing bowl game, it’s being held in beautiful Frisco Texas.
That’s good enough for me.
Wednesday 22 December
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl
Missouri and Army
An ACTUAL Military Academy in the Armed Forces Bowl
What a novel approach
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 33-28
Thursday 23 December
Frisco Football Classic Bowl
North Texas and Miami(OH)
Another great game in beautiful Frisco Texas.
I love that place.
MEAN GREEN 34-28
Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl
Central Florida and Florida
I am not sure what a “gasparilla” actually is..
But it sounds like what happens after you eat ill prepared Mexican food.
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 34-31
Friday 24 December
Easy Post Hawaii Bowl
Memphis and Hawaii
Easy Post, exactly what?
Don’t leave us hanging here. So, what is it?
ELVIS’S TIGERS 38-24
Saturday 25 December (Merry Christmas)
Tax Act Camelia Bowl
Georgia State and Ball State
Beautiful Montgomery Alabama. I can almost smell the Dream Land BBQ from here.
Monday 27 December
Quick Lane Bowl
Western Michigan and Nevada
A Bowl game in Detroit?
Well, at least it’s not in Chicago
Military Bowl presented by Peraton
Boston College and East Carolina
A “military” Bowl with NO military academies in it.
Tuesday 28 December
Ticket Smarter Birmingham Bowl
Auburn and Houston
Shouldn’t this be the “Slow Down and Be Smarter to NOT Get a Ticket” Bowl?
SERVPRO First Responder Bowl
Louisville and Air Force
Why isn’t Air Force in the damn Military Bowl?
O.K., I think I made my point here. I’ll stop
Auto Zone Liberty Bowl
Mississippi State and Texas Tech
I do love the Liberty Bowl, and Memphis is a great town.
“Doc” said go with,
San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl
UCLA and North Carolina State
Shouldn’t this be…
The Homeless Poop in the Streets, Dodge Hypodermic Needles in the Parks Bowl?
Asking for a friend
Guaranteed Rate Bowl
West Virginia and Minnesota
There is no such thing as a guarantee, I learned that on a date once in Austin.
I don’t want to talk about it.
Wednesday 29 December
Wasabi Fenway Bowl
Southern Methodist and Virginia
A college bowl game in Boston, in December.
Well, at least it’s not New York City.
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 41-21
New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Maryland and Virginia Tech
(Please note the above bowl game description)
FIGHTN’ TURTLES 28-24
Clemson and Iowa State
Well, at least the Clemson uniforms match the sponsors cheese color.
So, there is that
DABO’S TIGERS 34-31
Valero Alamo Bowl
Oregon and Oklahoma
Every Morning, when I get up, I “Remember the Alamo.”
Just so you know
BOOMER DAMN SOONER 38-24
Thursday 30 December
Duke’s Mayo Bowl
North Carolina and South Carolina
The Battle of the Carolina’s goes too,
TransPerfect Music City Bowl
Tennessee and Purdue
With Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenner performing the coin toss for the game and Ru Paul being the Grand Marshall for the Bowl Parage, I think this is the PERFECT Bowl game for Tennessee.
Get your Trans Perfect on Volunteers
But Beware buying any wieners in the stadium.
Chick-fil-a Peach Bowl
Pittsburgh and Michigan State
I have no idea which one of these two teams will show up for the game.
SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl
Wisconsin and Arizona State
Just remember the old saying…
What Happens in Vegas usually ends up with prescription medication and an STD.
Friday 31 December
Tax Slayer Gator Bowl
Wake Forest and Texas A&M
I wish there was a damn Tax Slayer, this tax business is out of damn control.
GIG EM AGGIES 34-31
Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl
Washington State and Miami
You know that I just have to say it about this particular bowl game.
Bar Stools Sports Arizona Bowl
Central Michigan and Boise State
Finally a Bowl game that I can set on….
Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic
Cincinnati and Alabama
It’s going to be close. But in the end..
CRIMSON TIDE 31-24
Capital One Orange Bowl
Georgia and Michigan
“Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab and I are in agreement here.
What do you say “Doc”?
SMART DAWGS 33-28
Saturday 1 January 2022
Penn State and Arkansas
To start the New Year, I want to simply say this..
TURN THAT DAMN JUKEBOX UP!
Play Station Fiesta Bowl
Oklahoma State and Notre Dame
In the immortal words of Willie Nelson,
All My Hero’s Have Been Cowboys
COWBOY UP! 34-24
VRBO Citrus Bowl
Iowa and Kentucky
After everything the Bluegrass State has been through this past week.
There is only one choice here
BIG BLUE WILDCATS 31-28
Rose Bowl game presented by Capital One Venture X
Utah and Ohio State
I said what I said…
TWO UTES 34-31
Allstate Sugar Bowl
Baylor and Ole Miss
Welcome to The Thunder Dome
FOAM RUBBER COL. SANDERS / BLACK BEARS / LAND-SAND SHARKS 41-24
Tuesday 4 January 2022
Tax Act Texas Bowl
LSU and Kansas State
Seriously, on January 4th? A Bowl game?
After the first of the year, we will return for the Championship pick. But in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the Christmas story on Mikerights.com this week and have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah or Kooky Kwanza or whatever you celebrate this season.
One More Thing….
“Doc” and I are going to be busy this Christmas working for Santa and promoting the new book “Over Easy”, but we both wanted to thank you all for reading the websites, buying the book, and promoting it.
Thank you for riding along with us for another year.
I assure you “Doc” and I appreciate it more than you know.
God Bless you all and Merry Christmas
THE CFB WIZARD