2021 Conference Championship Picks

December 2, 2021
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

It’s hard to believe that we have reached the end or nearly so of the 2021 college football season.

I don’t know if I should be happy or sad, but I am sure my liver is somehow relieved.

Either way, at least none of us will have to listen to the gaggle of gibbering idiots known as college football “commentators” much longer.

It’s about the little blessings in life.

Enjoy Your Picks

Weekend Rewind….

Considering it was “Rivalry Weekend”, I would say (but of course I would..) that Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator didn’t do too bad going 45 and 9 or 83% for Thanksgiving Weekend.

“Doc” The World-Famous Lab insisted that I provide a complete record of my picks this season, in an effort, I am sure, to demonstrate his amazing week of making picks recording a CFB Wizard record of 94%.

That being said, The CFB Wizard finished the 2021 regular college football season at 527 and 117 or 82% for the season. Certainly, that wasn’t even close to “Doc’s” record, and he has remined me of that constantly, as in constantly.

I am nothing if not gracious in defeat and I concede that “Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab is King of College Football Prognostication this season.

Between him being crowned King and his newfound celebrity with his picture on the back of the new book, “Over Easy”, he’s already been invited to be Grand Marshall in three parades, signed numerous books and has gotten more invitations to book signings than I have.

I’m not jealous. “Doc” deserves it, if for no other reason than putting up with me all these years.

College Football News

COMMENTATORS: Although we have a lot to discuss this week, let’s get to this first.

Whatever happened to when people like Keith Jackson just called a damn football game?

Now, we are forced to endure a bunch of damn idiots spout their opinions, call non-existing penalties from the press box , and comment about “what” should and shouldn’t a coach be doing during the game.

These buffoons will spend endless time reviewing a single play in slow motion that took place in one second or less like they are breaking down the Zapruder film of the Kennedy Assassination.

It’s gone beyond the mind numbing to the highly annoying and absurd.

Much like their “news” (and I use that term loosely) counterparts these college football “commentators” don’t have to take any responsibility or accountability for their damn lies and foolishness that they pour forth like verbal diarrhea.

Case in point….

During the Iron Bowl between Alabama and Auburn.

CBS “commentator” Gary Danielson went on for twenty-three minutes during the game, even brought in some former referee to condemn a “no call” penalty when an Auburn player was tackled by his helmet. Or as what was described by CBS as “the earhole tackle.”

That should have been a 15-yard face masking penalty they ALL said on television for 23 damn minutes.

Here is what the rules say…..

“The Face mask is that piece or pieces of equipment that are attached or affixed to the front of the helmet.”

“An opposing player that uses the face mask to aide or assist in tackling the player can be penalized 15 yards as per the rules.”

EDITORS NOTE: Did you SEE anything about the earhole on the helmet there? I didn’t think so.

Will they “correct themselves”? Hell, no they won’t. Because much like their counterparts I mentioned earlier they have no repercussions or accountability.

I guess at this point I should be pleasantly surprised that the sports “media” hasn’t accused Alabama of being in cahoots with the Russians to rig an election. rigging an election with the Russians.

You think I am wrong about sports media bias?

ESPN College Game Day has covered Ohio State three times this year and two weeks in a row.

They and Fox Sports have gushed and fainted over the “mighty” Buckeyes all season, even saying after last weeks skull dragging by Michigan that “The Buckeyes are still the best team in college football and deserve to be in the playoff discussion..”

“Deserve” what?

During the Ohio State – Michigan game, Fox Sports “commentator” Gus Johnson, who makes ESPN’s Beth Mowins look competent, swooned over the Buckeyes, stating towards the end of the game…

“THE World-Famous Ohio State Buckeyes can score quickly and often, and they WILL come back.”

EDITORS NOTE: Well apparently NOT you peanut headed dumbass.

Frankly I would rather listen to Pat Boone sing AC/DC than listen to any of them.

So, I say this my dear readers. Have the mute button handy during any college football game.

You will thank me later.

ESPN: I will gleefully leave this one right here….

OHIO STATE: Coach Ryan Day said this the week before the game with Michigan.
“We are going to hang a hundred points on them, I guarantee it.”

EDITORS NOTE: Yeah, he said he was going to “Beat Alabama’s ass” last year too.
You would think his stupid ass would have learned not to run his big mouth.

LSU: Let me say this nicely.

Coach Kelly is going to get eaten alive in Baton Rouge.

Believe it

OKLAHOMA: You may not believe this, but you will be better off without Lincoln.

Trust me on this one

FLORIDA: You hired a damn good coach, now how about being patient for a change.

Just a suggestion.

NOTRE DAME: I hear Gerry Faust is available to coach.

Just Saying

THE IRON BOWL: In case anyone missed what I affectionally term,

“The Disaster on the Pasture”

Here are some brief highlights

You are Welcome

The CFB Wizard Email Questions and Answers

Q: Hey there Mister Wizard!

Got a question for you!

Have you ever been on a Blind Date?

Megan – Fort Deposit, Alabama

A: Yes I have Megan and I must say her seeing eyed dog was magnificent.

Q: Dear Mr. Wizard

I can only assume from your so-called title that you are a racist.

Do you know who else calls themselves Wizards? The KKK That’s who!

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Ali Mond – Chattanooga, Tennessee

A: Well, Ali, I can assume from YOUR name, which bears a strong resemblance to ALMOND, that you are clearly a damn NUT and in need of mental health counseling.

Q: Dear Sir,

May I ask why you continue to say unflattering remarks week after week about Wynonna Judd?

What has she ever done to you?

Marylin – Hendersonville, Tennessee

A: Thank you for the email Marylin.

Wynonna hasn’t done anything personally to me, but she did attack my buddy’s truck once in Yellowstone National Park. His family could have been seriously injured.

Q: Hello

I saw your profile on Instagram. How old are you?

Mandy – La Porte, Indiana

A: I am 126 years old, if you count the nights.

Q: Hey Man!

Serious question. How do you balance promoting your new book and being the Bicycle Elf?

Your schedule must be INSANE!

The book is really good by the way. I enjoyed the hell out of it and so did my wife.

Slim and Sally – Foley, Alabama

A: Thank you for your kind words. “Doc” and I truly appreciate it.

It’s not easy being me. But fortunately for me “Doc” keeps us both on schedule.

But for those readers out there, that are looking for gift ideas.

(Yes, this is a shameless plug)



Q:
Dear Mr. CFB Wizard –

I have a question, what is Coach “O” from LSU going to do now?

Is he going to coach at another university?

Thanks!
Chanel – Slidell, Louisiana

A: Thank you for the email Chanel.

Coach “O” will NOT coach football again, however he has agreed to play Fred Flintstone in the off Broadway musical “Meet the Flintstones.”

The Championship Games

Friday 3 December

The PAC 12 Championship Game
Oregon and Utah
I hope I am not making this pick because I was listening to an old “Boston” album.
But I have “More than a Feeling” about this pick
TWO UTES 34-31

The Conference USA Championship Game
Western Kentucky and Texas San Antonio
Although the Roadrunners were upset last week by North Texas, I still believe.
BEEP
BEEP
ROADRUNNERS 38-21

Eastern Washington at Montana
Second round of FCS Payoffs
You know who I am picking….
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 31-28

Saturday 4 December

The Big 12 Championship Game
Oklahoma State and Baylor
Oddly enough this Big 12 Championship will have something that has not been seen in some time.
Defense
COWBOY UP! 28-24

The MAC Championship Game
Kent State and Northern Illinois
I wish one of these two teams was named “The Cheese” so I could report, “The MAC and Cheese.”
But as you know, sometimes I wish for too much.
HUSKIES 34-31

Southern Illinois at North Dakota State
Second round of FCS Payoffs
This game is in the Fargo Dome in Faro North Dakota
Enough Said
MIGHTY BISON 34-17

Tennessee Martin at Montana State
Second round of FCS Payoffs
Another playoff game in the balmy confines of Beautiful Big Sky Country.
BOBCATS 38-17

Bowie State at Valdosta State
This playoff game is played in beautiful South Georgia and let me say,
BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 41-21

The Sun Belt Championship Game
Louisiana Lafayette and Appalachian State
This is going to be one heck of a game and it’s going to be close.
Real Close
MOUNTAINEERS 34-31

The American Athletic Conference Championship
Houston and Cincinnati
The Cougars will stay in the game for a quarter or two, then it’s all,
BEARKATS 34-24

The ACC Championship
Pittsburgh and Wake Forest
This game will see-saw back and fourth like a fact kid on a teeter totter.
PANTHERS 41-38

The Big 10 (I thought it was sixteen teams?) Championship
Michigan and Iowa
Well, somebody is going to be upset.
HAWKEYES 33-28

The Mountain West Conference Championship
Utah State and San Diego State
Aggies and Aztecs
Please don’t say that three times fast, or you will spit up on yourself.
You are Welcome
AZTECS 34-21

Southern California at California
This “make-up game” due to the Kung Fu Flu comes on at 2330 and it will be on NBC.
Because NO BODY CARES

The Southeastern Conference Championship Game
Alabama and Georgia
“Doc” and I disagree on this game. As you might imagine he is going with his own kind.
So am I
CRIMSON TIDE 31-28

Next Week….

We will have the preview of the first bowl games of the season, to include the famous Purina Monkey Clump Bowl in Piscataway New Jersey.

In the coming weeks we will hear from the Tennessee Volunteer’s Number One Fan, Mr. Hootie Snitch with his own rendition of “A Night Before Christmas” and much, much more.

And there will be something on Mikerights.com for you for Christmas too.

So, Stay Tuned

One More Thing…

As “Doc” and I prepare to work once again this season for Santa Claus we want to take a minute to thank you all for reading the websites and for purchasing the new book “Over Easy”.

We truly appreciate it.

Be good to yourself this week and those around you.

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD
&
DTWFBL

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