College Football Picks Week 8

Ladies and Gentlemen –

This weekend we will have a semi-full slate of college football as The Big (Whatever the actual number of teams in the conference is this week) Ten Conference returns, along with the Mountain West thingy Conference too.

O’ Yeah, it’s also “The Third Saturday in October” and that means one thing..

“War”

Enjoy Your Picks…

Weekend Rewind…

Last weekend, Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator predicted the first win by South Carolina over Auburn at home since 1933 (You are Welcome Carolina Fans).

But wait there’s more!

Also, just happened to pick Kentucky’s first win in OBKnoxville since 1984.

That left The CFB Wizard last week at 28 and 3 or 90% and overall, at 142 and 39 or 78% for the season.

I guess what Richard Petty said is true….

Sometimes it’s good to be the King.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS

ALABAMA: Some readers might expect some jabs after last week’s game with the Georgia Bulldogs.

That isn’t Alabama football and I would hope that wouldn’t be any fans I know.

Coach Bryant said…

“Win without bragging and lose without excuse”

But “IF” you want to know something about Alabama Football, look no further:

THE BIG TEN CONFERENCE: Just so you know…

You are late to the party

P.S. Nobody cares about Your Mountain West Conference partner either

FLORIDA STATE: Congratulations to former Coach Bobby Bowden…

For whipping the Kung Fu Flu.

That kind of grit must have inspired the Seminoles last week to defeat North Carolina.

Glad you are well Coach.

KANSAS: Coach Les Miles is still out of action with the Kung Fu Flu…

Might I suggest you chew more grass Coach

It’s just a thought

FLORIDA: Get well Gators, we miss you on the football field

LSU: In case you haven’t heard…

The Tigers will relinquish eight (8) scholarships over improper payments to players.

I tried to tell you about Ole Coach “O”, but you didn’t want to listen to me.

THE CFB WIZARD EMAILS OF THE WEEK

Q: Hello Sir!

I have recently changed my name from Randy Swartz to Jean Claude Gosh Darn and I hope to be the first movie star that doesn’t promote violence or foul language in action movies.

(Hence the name change, to Jean Claude “Gosh Darn”)

There are already plans in the works to begin filming a remake of “Die Hard” in my Grandma’s basement next month with my cousin Cooper Norris (Director). We plan on renaming it (due to copyright issues) “Lights, Camera, Extra Action!”

There will NOT be any foul language and NO violence in the movie but will be a suspense thriller for ALL audiences!

Would you be willing to promote the movie on your popular websites?

Thank you
Jean Claude Gosh Darn – Evansville, Indiana

A: Gosh Darn Jean I would like too, but I can’t. Sorry…

Q: Dear Sirrr,

Me in tha boys wanted ta go ta Knoxvull ta watch tha Volinters play sum football but we culdn’t go cause they wudn’t lettin nobudy in tha stadum rite now.

So we did tha next bess thang and payed fer summa those cardboard dohickey’s that makes it look like theres a buncha fokes watchin!!! We put are EBT cards tagether and had enuff to by one fer me my bruther Zander an my daddy n uncle Troy dEan an my cousins Kenny an Mikey. An they sent us a pitcher back showin us havin a good time!!!

Whatcha thank about that Mister Wizzerd man?!?!!!

Belmont Caffey
Tansi, Tennaseee

A: i don’t know why people think Tennessee folks are ugly

It’s baffling

Q: You are a damn idiot!

Your picks are a joke!

Your website is a joke!

I wouldn’t spit on your head if it was on fire!

Tina Danzer – Louisville, Kentucky

A: In my best Elton John falsetto voice….

“Hold me closer Tina Danzer….”

Sorry, that’s all I got for this one

Q: Dear Sir –

I have been amused by your prognostications as well as your MikeRights website.
The picks as wells as your stories are moderately entertaining.

Although you are certainly no F. Scott Fitzgerald, your writing style, though rather crude is nonetheless somewhat enjoyable.

Sincerely –
Brandon M. Terrel – Oxford, Mississippi

A: What’s your problem with Scott Fitzgerald and why are you saying “F” him?
What’s he ever done to you?

Sir, I think that kind of name calling is uncalled for…

Q: Hey Man!

I like your websites, but you know what they need?

National Promotion! Get your name out there for a wider audience!

You know how to do that?
By becoming a sponsor on one of our premier Japspeed racing cars!

(I have included a picture!)

You can design your own promotional sticker that will go on the hood of the car!

What do you say?

Eddie Germaine
President of Japspeed Racing Inc.
Long Beach, California

A: I have this to say…
I think promoting Japanese people urinating is racist and insensitive….

THE GAMES

Thursday 22 October

Arkansas State at Appalachian State
It’s going to be closer than you might think….
But the Appalachian -Americans are at home so…
MOUNTAINEERS 34-28

Friday 23 October

Jacksonville State at Florida International
It’s nice that the International House of Pancakes has their own college
But I am a Waffle House guy
GAMECOCKS 33-17

Tulsa at South Florida
It’s still Hurricane season, so there is that
GOLDEN HURRICANES 38-17

Louisiana Lafayette at Alabama Birmingham
This is going to be one heck of a game, believe it
RAJUN CAJUNS 41-38

Illinois at Wisconsin
There won’t be any “Upset” in this game this year.
CHEESE MEN 34-17

Saturday 24 October

Missouri at Florida
This game will likely be postponed….
But I am picking it anyway
MIGHTY GATORS 41-24

Georgia at Kentucky
It’s going to be close
I didn’t studder
SMART DAWGS 33-28

Nebraska at Ohio State
I have no idea who is going to show up in this game.
It should be interesting
BUCKEYES 34-31

Rutgers at Michigan State
One thing you can count on with Rutgers…
They are consistent
SPARTANS 114-3

Georgia Southern at Coastal Carolina
There is going to be a shoot-out in Carolina
Believe it
SWEET CAROLINE 38-34

Temple at Memphis
The Tigers have me all shook up this week.
ELVIS’S TIGERS 41-21

Florida State at Louisville
After last week, I have to go with…
SEMI-NOLES 34-17

North Carolina State at North Carolina
This Old Rivalry on Tobacco Road is a bitter one…
It’s going to be ugly
TAR HEELS 34-31

Syracuse at Clemson
Yawn….
DABO’S TIGERS 205-3

Kansas at Kansas State
I don’t think this rivalry is accurately named…
It’s called
The Sunflower Showdown for the Governor’s Cup
It should be called the “Telephone Pole Game”
Because that state is flatter than a damn tabletop and the state tree is a telephone pole.
WILDCATS 38-10

Oklahoma at Texas Christian
It’s going to be closer than you might think
A lot closer
BOOMER SOONER 41-38

Auburn at Ole Miss
This game is a must win for both teams and that means one thing
It’s desperation time
FOAM RUBBER BLACK BEARS / LAND-SAND SHARKS / COL. SANDERS REBELS 34-28

Southern Miss at Liberty
Once Coach Freeze stopped calling hookers he really took off as a Head Coach
(What? Too soon?)
FLAMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 44-21

Mercer at Army
Have Mercy Mercer what were you thinking scheduling this game?
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 41-0

Tulane at Central Florida
Something tells me this one will be close..
Real close
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 34-31

Florida Atlantic at Marshall
Say it with me..
WE ARE MARSHALL 44-14

Baylor at Texas
I have no idea who the hell is going to show up for this game
No idea whatsoever
LONGHORNS 38-34

Houston at Navy
I still believe in the Midshipmen, at least for another week
GO NAVY 31-28

Notre Dame at Pittsburgh
Nope, not even close
GOLDEN GNOMES 41-17

Virginia Tech at Wake Forest
I think the Demon Deacons have cashed in their collection plates
FIGHTING TURKEYS 34-17

Iowa State at Oklahoma State
This game may very well come down to who has the ball last
It’s a toss up
COWBOY UP 34-33

Alabama at Tennessee
This rivalry game is simply known as;
“The Third Saturday in October”
It’s Cowboys verses Indians
It’s Oil and Water
It’s Republicans verses Democrats
Except it’s worse
CRIMSON TIDE 34-17

Iowa at Purdue
Both of these teams have one thing in common
They both have the most Godawful mascots in the Big Ten.
HAWKEYES 28-21

Penn State at Indiana
Whose Your Daddy?
NITTANY LIONS 28-17

South Carolina at LSU
“IF” this wasn’t a night game in Death Valley I would feel different
But it’s going to be close nonetheless
Real (real) close
FIGHTN’ TIGERS 31-28

Georgia Tech at Boston College
That sound you just heard was me jumping off the Yellow Jacket’s Bandwagon
CHESNUT HILL EAGLES 38-21

Georgia State at Troy
This game is being played in South Alabama
That’s good enough for me
MEN OF TROY 34-28

West Virginia at Texas Tech
There will be no couches torched in Morgantown this Saturday Night
That is all
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 34-21

Louisiana Monroe at South Alabama
The Jaguars are playing at home and that’s the difference in this game
JAGUARS 28-24

Utah State at Boise State
I think that blue football field in Boise is hideous
I said what I said
BRONCO’S 44-21

Wyoming at Nevada
I have no logical reason for making this pick
None
COWBOY UP 38-34

Maryland at Northwestern
I would call this one an “Upset”
FIGHTING TURTLES 34-24

Michigan at Minnesota
Make it two “Upsets” in a row here
GOLDEN GOPHERS 33-31

Louisiana Tech at Texas San Antonio
“Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab said to go with the “Grumpy” dogs in this one
BULLDOGS 34-31

Virginia at Miami
Did I mention it’s still Hurricane season?
I did?
HURRICANES 34-17

Cincinnati at Southern Methodist
I have a feeling……
This one is an “Upset”
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 41-38

New Mexico at Colorado State
This whole Mountain West Thingy Conference has me jacked up this week
RAM TOUGH 38-17

Texas State at Brigham Young
I saw the same forty-something year old woman today that I saw at the grocery store last week.
It’s a prognosticators “sign”
COUGARS 44-14

Air Force at San Jose State
The Falcons are flying through this season….
MIGHTY FALCONS 41-24

Nevada Las Vegas at San Diego State
This will be the second-best game on Fox Sports at 2300 Eastern Standard Time.
AZTECS 3-2

Hawaii at Fresno State
In case you were wondering….
This is the best game on at 2400 Eastern Standard Time
BULLDOGS 6-3

Next Week…

Providing of course I survive “The Third Saturday in October”

Your Week 9 College Football Picks will be on the wire next Thursday afternoon as you have come to expect from Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator.

Hopefully I will have a few other things out next week as well, providing of course I don’t need (another) liver transplant from a weekend of college football.

I know you know what I am saying, I’m not alone here.

Stay tuned

One More Thing…..

You don’t have a “new” story on Mikerights.com this week, but I am working to get a few new stories on there for you and those will be included in the new book, from yours truly.

However, Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator will be in Gatlinburg this weekend with some like minded folks to sign books and preview my upcoming books, to include “My War with the Hillbilly Taliban”.

Later I will be a guest of my University to watch “The Third Saturday in October” game. “Yes” that also includes “Doc” the World Famous Black lab (He’s a celebrity you know)

If you are around, stop by, I would enjoy meeting you.

Thank you all again for your readership of both websites.

“Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab and I both appreciate it more than you know.

Be good to one another this week and yourselves.

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD

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