College Football Picks Week 1

August 28, 2020
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

I know many of you were anxiously awaiting those premier matchups to start the 2020 College Football Season. Such as….

The Southern California Trojans verses the Alabama Crimson Tide

“The” Ohio State Buckeyes verses The East Central Ohio Technical College Lancers.

As a side note, East Central Ohio Technical College has one of the finest muffler repair programs in East Central Ohio.

Most of us were also looking forward to watching Michigan lose to whoever) and the media hype of Notre Lame after they defeated a rather fierce group of Girl Scouts known simply as the “Brownies.”

But it is not to be this year my friends.

But we still have some college football games on tap this first week of college football.

Enjoy Your Picks

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS

CONNECTICUT: The Huskies announced last week that they were canceling their college football season for 2020. What does that serious announcement mean to the college football world?

It means that somewhere out there are 12 college football teams looking for a homecoming team to replace the Huskies.

NORTH DAKOTA STATE:
The Mighty Bison are defying the Missouri Valley Conference who decided last week to cancel the conferences season, apparently following the spineless Big Ten (Or whatever the number is this week) Conference.

The Bison will play in the Fargo Dome on October 3rd against Central Arkansas.

THE BIG TEN CONFERENCE: So, let me be sure I have this right.

YOU are going to cancel the Fall College Football Season this year “for safety reasons” and have a Spring AND Fall College football season in 2021.

So, you have NO problem with full contact practices and games from February of 2021 until January of 2022. Really? That’s concern for the “safety” of the players?

Congratulations, you damn people are as smart as I always suspected you were.

NEBRASKA: Please leave the Big Ten Conference. Please, I am begging you.

The Big 12 (Light) NEEDS you and there won’t be anything better than watching Nebraska play Oklahoma again.

CENTRAL FLORIDA: Due to the cancellation of the 2020 College Football season by many of the Conferences the Golden Knights have proclaimed themselves to be the 2020 National Champions of College Football.

No word yet on when the virtual National Championship Parade will be in Orlando.

THE AP POLL: I have said it for years that there has been “bias” with those voters in the AP poll most of which reside in the North and Northeast part of the country, and once again they have proved me correct.

So, “the” Ohio State Buckeyes are the Number 2 team in the preseason poll, right?
Well they aren’t playing this fall (Didn’t know if you smart ass yankees knew that or not yet)

Why don’t you go ahead and rank the New England Patriots in the pool too, they aren’t playing any college football this season either.

Dumbass’s

TENNESSEE: Volunteer Athletic Director “Fat” Phil Fulmer announced that due to concerns over the Kung Fu Flu, Neyland Stadium will only have 20% capacity allowed this season.

In other words, it will be business as usual at Tennessee.

MICHIGAN: Due to the cancelation of the Big 10 (I thought they had 16 teams in the conference?) college football schedule for 2020, Coach Jim Harbaugh is celebrating not getting the hell beaten out of him (again) by the Ohio State Buckeyes this year.

However, Coach Jim will be saving those excuses for 2021.

PAC 12: The Pacific Athletic Conference has announced that they although they are forgoing the college football season this year, they will “have a dialog” with players in the conferences concerns about social justice, environmental equality and health care.

Meanwhile, none of us gives a damn what you are doing or saying.

The MAC: Please see the “PAC 12” above and substitute PAC 12 for the MAC Conference.

THE CFB WIZARD EMAIL OF THE WEEK

Q: Dear Sir
Don’t you feel that the term “Wizard” evokes themes and thoughts of the Klu Klux Klan?

In todays political climate, I would strongly encourage you to drop that portion of your title.

Sincerely

Camille – Joliet, Illinois

A: I will right after they close Harry Potter’s school that graduated all those damn wizards.

THE GAMES

Saturday 29 August 2020

Austin Peay at Central Arkansas
It’s worth noting that “IF” I find myself yelling..
“GO PEE” during this game I will probably laugh until I do just that.
PEE BODY’S 34-17

Thursday 3 September 2020

Central Arkansas at Alabama-Birmingham
In case you were wondering, this is no typo,
Central Arkansas is playing again this week.
And they will play 12 games this college football season. Believe it
BLAZERS 41-17

South Alabama at Southern Miss
This is one of my favorite matchups of the opening weekend, even before the Kung Fu Flu sneezed all over the season.
GOLDEN EAGLES 34-31

Saturday 5 September 2020

Southern Methodist at Texas State
“IF” you were wondering would I be watching my Beloved Mustangs this weekend…
YOU damn right I will be
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 51-24

Arkansas State at Memphis
Much like Elvis, I am “All Shook Up” over this college football season.
(You had to know I was going to weave an Elvis reference in here)
ELVIS’S TIGERS 44-28

Eastern Kentucky at Marshall
I am so damn glad The Thundering Herd is playing football this year.
It makes my heart feel good.
WE ARE MARSHALL 44-17

Stephen F. Austin at Texas El Paso
You want an opening weekend “Upset Special”?
Here you go
LUMBERJACKS 41-34

Houston Baptist at North Texas
My Lord I am so desperate for College Football; I will actually watch this game.
Don’t judge me
MEAN GREEN 38-17

Monday 7 September 2020

Brigham Young at Navy
Believe it or not, this is going to be one heck of a good game.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NAVY 31-28

Next Week….

Your next “Picks” will be out the Thursday (as usual) after Labor Day, and although the college football season may be in limbo and some games still in question of playing, I will nonetheless bring you (My Dear Readers) something to laugh about.

Why?

Because I care

One More Thing….

You have a “New” Story on Mikerights.com this week and will have a new story on the website each week throughout the fall to keep you entertained and distracted from the evening news.

Be good to yourselves and each other

Keep the Faith

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD

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