Ladies and Gentlemen –
I think it’s important to note this time of the college football season “two” points that we can’t deny.
Regardless of what committee say’s what, no championship has ever been decided in November.
And lastly…
You know, Christmas lights are like Jeffery Epstein, they don’t hang themselves.
Enjoy your Picks..
Weekend Rewind….
Despite Picking (rather accurately I might add) the Minnesota upset of Penn State last Saturday, there isn’t much to brag about for Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator.
The fact is, I posted the worse numbers of the year last weekend with a
(Wait for it..)
31 and 16 or 66%
EDITORS NOTE: Yeah, I know, you don’t need to remind me
That leaves The CFB Wizard at 536 and 103 84% for the 2019 college football season.
Don’t worry, I am reverting to putting cheese in my shoes for this week’s picks for
“Good Luck”
EDITORS NOTE: Don’t you dare judge me.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS!
URBAN MEYER: I just have to ask…..
You know, since you have been asked to fill so many coaching jobs
How’s that heart attack and brain tumor going?
LSU: Gotta pay mad respect to LSU fans…
When they say they’re fans for life, well, believe it
Grace Nursing Home, just up the road from Baton Rouge in Slaughter, La decided to have their own GameDay action before the game
Check out the signs made by these rabid, Die Hard, Tiger fans…
You go Grammaw
And, did we say…
Sassy?
Oh, yeah, that’s some Southern Sass right there
OHIO STATE: Not sure exactly what this guy was thinking when he made his sign…
But, it’s an Ohio State thing, I’m sure
Is there a reason no one is within “spitting distance” of this lad???
ESPN / MARTY SMITH: A young reporter, Jack Patterson, from WRBL in Columbus, Ga doing a football wrap from Bryant-Denny Stadium and messes up.
Well, ole Marty Smith happened to have been nearby and decided to speak to him and give some words of encouragement.
What an awesome moment…
And this young guy’s reaction is priceless.
Good on ya’, Marty.
This is why you’re one of the good guys
MINNESOTA: Yeah, they know how to rush the field after a win…
This is “How it is done sports fans”
FROM THE “WTH” FILE:
This is Hoyt Hutchinson
Hoyt is not a liberal
Hoyt is a born again killer…
He kilt the ‘Baby Trump’ balloon on Saturday
While a hero to many, sadly, he was arrested for Criminal Mischief, 1st Degree
The bright side is that there’s a Go Fund Me page for Hoyt’s fine…
We here at the CFB Wizard have collected $.38 for this noble cause
Go Hoyt
COACH’S HOT SEAT O’ METER:
Chad Morris of Unaffiliated – It was a bad week in Arkansas with the ugly loss to Western Kentucky. Apparently this was the straw that broke the camel’s proverbial back as Arkansas parted ways with Chad Morris. While not unexpected, I honestly thought that Morris would survive the season due to the Bielema buyout and the money that would be due Morris. And before anyone brings up the fact that Arkansas stopped payment on Bielema’s checks, just slow your roll. That one is most assuredly going to court. And I’m sure Bret’s agent has already thought out this scenario. In other words, it’s not a done deal
Will Muschamp of South Carolina – Nobody saw this coming at the first of the season. After losing to UNC and Missouri early, the Gamecocks then reel off 2 wins against Kentucky and (of all teams) Georgia!!! It seemed that he’d got things back on track but then South Carolina drops 2 of the next 3. So, with bowl eligibility on the line, App State comes to town. But nobody should have been comfortable because App State is like that guest you’ve invited over for Thanksgiving who not only ate most of the Turkey, but then takes all the leftovers they can find home with them. Not sure what’s going to happen to Coach Boom because now Texas A&M looks daunting and then there’s the little problem with that Orange Clad team up the road. This has been one confusing season in Columbia
CFB Wizard Hot Seat-O-Meter Rating – 85 – 90 (Losing the media and leaving Todd Ellis and Tommy Suggs dumbfounded during the radio broadcast is not good)
Joe Moorhead of Mississippi State – The staff here at the CFB Wizard have had great debate on how much impact the win over Arkansas will have on Moorhead’s future in Stark-vegas. The consensus seems to be that this tussle of the SEC’s bottom dwellers could, more or less, be viewed as a collision of a G5 conference members. Other than Alabama, the Bulldogs have Abilene Christian and Ole Miss still on the docket. Will winning those last 2 games and going to a bowl save Moorhead? These and other questions will be answered as the season progresses.
CFB Wizard Hot Seat-O-Meter Rating – 88-93 (And Alabama won’t be happy when you travel to Tuscaloosa on the 16th)
Barry Odom of Missouri – After reeling off 5 straight wins early, the Tigers are in the midst of a 3 game losing streak. The mauling at the hands of Georgia was expected. The losses to Vandy and Kentucky were not. And it looks like Mo could end up with a 5 game losing streak as they have Florida and a resurgent Tennessee coming up next on the schedule. Will a season ending win over Arkansas and a possible bowl bid be enough to save Odom’s job? We’ll see. Hard to guage the sentiment out in Columbia (West).
CFB Wizard Hot Seat-O-Meter Rating – 85-90 (The Bowl may not be in play if their appeal isn’t approved by the “brain trust” at the NCAA)
Parting Thought – It’s interesting to note how these buyouts for college football coaches have come into play when a University is considering parting ways with a coach. I mean we’re talking mad bank for the departing coach.
And, in most cases, the institutions are on the hook for the buyout money unless there is “cause” for parting ways IE: Bobby Petrino. So, why isn’t there a performance clause written into the contracts somehow to negate having to pay millions for a coach who isn’t perfoming (Taggart/Morris)?
It seems that the bane of the SEC, Jimmy Sexton, has outsmarted almost everyone in the conference with the structure of the contracts that the coaches operate under. Because, the next time you see Chad Morris, he’ll be sitting on his front porch with a Jack and Coke thinking, “yep, life is good.”
THE CFB WIZARD EMAILS OF THE WEEK
Q: Dear Mr. College Football Wizard –
I am part time teacher of Agriculture as well as a Judge at our local County 4-H and I have a question that I am hoping you can answer, that I can pass along to my students.
At our turf (Grass) farms here in Texas we grow several varieties of natural grass, many of which are used for golf courses as well as on football and baseball fields (High school, college and professional)
However, my students and myself have discussed the growing number of artificial turf (grass) varieties that are manufactured and are being utilized throughout the sports world today, so the question is this:
Which do you prefer natural grass or artificial turf?
Sincerely
Leon – Alvin, Texas
A: I don’t know Leon, I have never smoked artificial turf.
Q: Hey there Mister Wizard!
Love your book, can’t wait for the next one!
Can you give us a preview of the next book?
Anything? Please!
Holly, Cleveland, Mississippi
P.S. Thanks for the Weekly shout outs to Delta State University, we love it!
A: Thank you so much for the sweet email Holly….
I don’t want to give to much away at this point
But I will say this, just FYI
A Brazilian wax is not a boutique candle shop, just saying
Q: Hey Dumbass!
Just so you know, in your lame ass weekly picks it’s called:
THE Ohio State University
Get it right, dumbass
Rucker – Columbus, Ohio
A: To tell you the truth…
I would have felt more impowered to acknowledge your request “IF”
You were to have referred to me as:
THE Dumbass
Q: YOU SUCK!
Anonymous – Fayetteville, Arkansas
A: Coach Morris, you got 10 million dollars to “go away”, why so bitter?
Q: Dear College Football Wizard –
“IF” That guy that wrote the crappy article last week about Florida Gator football is a Pastor or a Reverend, then I am Polish astronaut.
Jimmy W. – Daytona Beach Shores, Florida
A: I may (rightly) assume that the initial “W” in your last name stands for:
“Wyszynski”
THE GAMES
Tuesday 12 November
Western Michigan at Ohio
Don’t judge me, I need this “Pick” to help my weekly average
BRONCOS 37-34
Wednesday 13 November
Bowling Green at Miami (OH)
Although Miami doesn’t have any Palm trees there…..
(I think it’s a clever reuse to get people to visit that can’t afford to travel South)
REDHAWKS 34-17
Thursday 14 November
North Carolina at Pittsburgh
It’s going to be close…..
(Real close)
PANTHERS 33-31
Friday 15 November
Louisiana Tech at Marshall
I recognize this is a sentimental pick…
But I still remember the plane crash on November 14th1970 in Huntington West Virginia.
WE ARE MARSHALL 38-28
Fresno State at San Diego State
Nobody is talking about that little team in San Diego…
Except me
Better keep your eye on them
AZTECS 41-24
Saturday 16 November
Alabama at Mississippi State
Bama rebounds….
Believe it
CRIMSON TIDE 44-21
Indiana at Penn State
Happiness returns to Happy Valley
NITTANY LIONS 41-17
Florida at Missouri
MO Don’t Know Gators
MIGHTY GATORS 34-17
Valdosta State at West Georgia
These Boy’s from South Georgia have something special going on…
They are Undefeated thus far and will remain so…
BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 44-24
Wisconsin at Nebraska
This relatively new rivalry in the College football conference that can’t count…
Is played for the” Freedom Trophy”
Let Freedom ring….
CHEESEMEN 28-24
Michigan State at Michigan
This bitter old rivalry in the land near the Arctic Circle is played for the coveted…
“Paul Bunyan Trophy”
Jimmy Hairball will get the Axe in this game but won’t get axed this week
(Notice the pun with words, I can be quite cleaver when motivated)
WOLVERINES 34-24
Kansas at Oklahoma State
I think I smell an “Upset Special” here…
(I pray that’s what it is and not what I have in the oven for dinner)
LES HAWKS 33-31
Virginia Military Institute at Army
I have great respect for both of these great Military Academies…
But this is business…
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 44-10
Delta State at Mississippi College
Despite being fried a time or two the last few weeks..
I still have believe
FEAR THE OKRA 34-31
Henderson State at Ouachita Baptist
You may not have heard of this bitter rivalry in Arkansas ..
It’s called “The Battle of the Ravine”
This one is going to be uglier than when Grandma McKinney cannoned ball into the Baptismal.
GOTCHA BAPTIST 31-28
Alabama State at Florida State
Who would have thought I would be saying this….
Seminoles win “Two” games in a row
Believe it
SEMINOLES 38-17
Texas Christian at Texas Tech
I have no idea (None at all) which one of these teams is going to show up.
“Doc” the World-Famous Black Lab says go “one more time” with..
HORNED DOGS 33-31
Massachusetts at Northwestern
The Minutemen will be down fourteen points before the first minute of the game…
(Yeah that was another pun, I can’t help it, I am on a roll)
WILDCATS 44-10
Tulane at Temple
This game is going to be one of the best games on television this Saturday.
It’s going to be a tussle
GREEN WAVE 44-41
Navy at Notre Dame
You have no idea how badly I wish I could pick the Midshipmen
But I can’t
Damn it
FIGGGGTING ERRISH 44-17
Idaho State at Brigham Young
Some in the National Sports media are picking this one as an “Upset”
Not me
COUGARS 38-24
Louisiana Monroe at Georgia Southern
The Mighty Eagles of Statesboro are on a Roll…..
Believe it
FREEBIRDS 41-24
Ohio State at Rutgers
The Scarlett Knights lost an intermural scrimmage this week to an aquarium of sea monkeys.
Enough said..
BLACK EYES 141-3
Wake Forest at Clemson
The Atlantic Coast Conference is promoting this as a “Big” matchup…
Whatever
DABO’S TIGERS 49-24
North Alabama at Gardner Webb
I met a guy a few weeks ago at the Co-Op named “Garner”
He didn’t look like he had his own college
I am just saying
FLORENCE LIONS 34-17
South Dakota at North Dakota State
Another Season, another Bison Stampede to the Championship Playoffs
MIGHTY BISON 44-17
Tusculum at Carson Newman
It’s the Cold and Flu season..
I can’t in good conscience pull for a college that sounds like a mucus infection
EAGLES 41-24
Arkansas Monticello at Southern Arkansas
This bitter rivalry in Arkansas is called..
The Battle of the Timberlands”
Bo Knows….
That’s all I’m going to say
BOWEEVILS 34-31
WPI at Norwich
“Walley’s Paint and Body Institute”?
I had no idea they had a football team, did you?
CADETS 28-24
Weber State at Montana
It should be a lovely and balmy -20 degrees in Big Sky Country for this game
I call that Grizzly Bear weather
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 34-17
St Olaf at Gustavus Adolphus
“IF” were Poland and France…
I would be nervous when this many German’s get together and start drinking
(I am just saying..There is History there)
OLLIES 28-17
Georgia at Auburn
This bitter (Really Bitter) Rivalry is known as..
The South’s Oldest Rivalry
It’s going to be close
SMART DAWGS 33-31
West Virginia at Kansas State
There will be no couches roasting in Morgantown this Saturday
Sorry…
WILDCATS 38-17
Memphis at Houston
I want to pick the Boy’s from H-Town, but I can’t…
Sadly
ELVIS’S TIGERS 43-28
Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech
We are approaching Thanksgiving….
That’s a sign
(Don’t judge me)
FIGHTING TURKEY’S 33-31
Texas at Iowa State
Barbara, this one is for you…
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-31
Kentucky at Vanderbilt
Yeah, I said it…
“UPSET SPECIAL”
COMMODORES 24-21
Minnesota at Iowa
This is one of my favorite rivalries in college football
It’s played for “The Floyd of Rosedale”
Who doesn’t want to fight over a bronze pig?
(Other than Muslims)
GOLDEN GOPHERS 31-28
Syracuse at Duke
The Duke Boy’s Bounce back this week….
(I had to make a reference this week to the Dukes of Hazard)
BLUE DEVILS 34-24
Stanford at Washington State
I would classify this as an “Upset”
Particularly if you are from California
MIKE’S CATS 33-31
Southern Miss at Texas San Antonio
Despite the upcoming pick I feel it important to mention
That every morning
I Remember the Alamo
GOLDEN EAGLES 33-28
LSU at Ole Miss
This Old South Rivalry is known as “The Magnolia Bowl”
It won’t be pretty
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 49-24
Cincinnati at South Florida
I have no idea what the heck has happened to South Florida this year
That’s No Bull
BEARKATS 34-14
Air Force at Colorado State
This Rivalry in the Rockies is played for..
“The Ram-Falcon Trophy”
It’s going to be nastier than the weather
MIGHTY FALCONS 31-28
Oklahoma at Baylor
I know I have said it before this season (You don’t have to remind me)
But this time you can count on it
Down go Da Bears
ROLL JALEN ROLL 44-28
South Carolina at Texas A&M
It’s going to be close….
Real close (Believe it)
GIG EM AGGIES 34-31
Louisville at North Carolina State
“Doc” The World-Famous Black Lab and I agree on this one
WOLFPACK 33-17
Arizona State at Oregon State
You may not think this one will be close or could go either way
You would be wrong
HERMAN’S DEVILS 28-24
Appalachian State at Georgia State
(See the Above Reference)
MOUNTAINEERS 31-28
UCLA at Utah
The Ute’s are trending up and well…
The Bears ain’t a Bruin
Enough Said
TWO UTES 34-20
New Mexico at Boise State
I have told you all year to watch the Bronco’s
I am telling you again
BRONCO’S 41-14
Arizona at Oregon
I have seen few moments of brilliance from the Wildcats this year.
You know, like cheap fireworks from China
One Boom and a flash of light and it’s over
QUACKERS 44-17
Southern California at California
Believe it or not….
This game is going to be a hack of a tussle.
(Not that I will be awake for it, just saying)
TROJANS 28-24
Next Week….
Your Weekly College Football Picks will be out (As you have come to expect) next
week, along with a few other articles during the week to keep you entertained and informed.
There is a lot more on the way….
So, Stay Tuned
One More Thing…
I will be in Macon Georgia this Saturday speaking to prospective parents wanting to be foster parents.
This is all stems from my book “Sunnyside Up”; I appreciate you All for reading my little book and promoting it and I want to thank the State of Georgia for promoting me at this event as well.
“IF” you are around Macon this weekend, drop in and say “hello”…
I would love to see you.
I have a “New” story on Mikerights.com that I hope to have out today or tomorrow.
I wrote it for a friend of mine. I hope you will all read it.
God Bless You all and be good to one another
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD