The Last Picks of 2018 (Sort of…)

December 6, 2018

Ladies and Gentlemen –

Sadly we have come to the end of the 2018 College Football Season…..

Well unless you are Florida State, Rutgers, or Louisville, etc then your seasons were over in October. But I digress…..

We still have a few things to discuss and more is on the way……

So keep that Holiday Cheer (unless you are any of the teams mentioned above)

And always…..

Enjoy Your Picks…….

Seasonal Rewind……..

Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator has come to the end of yet another season.

Last week was Championship Week and although rather subpar at 19 and 4 or 83%, it still left The CFB Wizard at 717 and 156 or 82% for the 2018 college football season.

I recognize what you are thinking at this point…..

“That’s a LOT of football games to pick during the college football season!”

And that would be a true statement and it’s also a stark reminder to me that one of these days I have to start getting out more, (Seriously I really do….)

Thank you all once again for coming along with “Doc” the Black Lab and I on another College Football Season. It’s not always easy getting the picks completed for you week after week, but it sure is fun.


Q: Hey Mister CFB Wizard!

I have read your book and several of your articles and I LOVE them!

Have you seen the commercials on television for the “Ancestry Kit”?

Maybe if you got one of those you could trace your ancestors and learn who you are related too and where you came from? Doesn’t that sound exciting!?!?!

It would make an awesome Christmas Present for yourself!


Christine and Thomas – Spartanburg, South Carolina

A: Thank you so very much for kind email…..

Ironically I was sent one of those Ancestry kits as a promotion a few years ago….

I followed the instructions and sent my DNA sample back to the prescribed destination.

Some weeks later I received the results which rather confused me…..

My DNA showed that I m related (56%) to the vinyl seat covers on a 1956 Chevrolet Bel Air and I am (23%) of a composition of red clay and sand from a nondescript area of Alabama and the remainder of the results said something or another about a Petri Dish and Nuclear Fissionable Material I didn’t really understand it all…

But the later does however explain my own personal “night light” as a child.

Q: We need you settle a bet with us here at work!

As The CFB Wizard and Part Time Bicycle Elf what is the ONE thing you would like to have for Christmas this year? Think about it, we have a bet for lunch here in the office!!

Peace on Earth?

End world Hunger?

We are waiting and lunch is waiting too!


Administration Department Mercedes Benz America – Birmingham, Alabama

A: Thank you so much for the wonderfully kind email….

My Christmas wish……..

Is that the Department of Immigration and Naturalization would lighten up for the holidays and allow this wonderful artist from the Ukraine to entertain “Doc” the Black Lab and myself for Christmas.

EDITORS NOTE: Don’t judge me, it’s Art AND it’s very (very) festive….

Q: Dear Mr. CFB Wizard –

Answer me this please sir, why in the world would (former) Coach Mack Brown want to come back to North Carolina and Coach the Tar Heels?

It makes NO (zero) sense to me.

Thank you

Chuck – Boone, North Carolina

A: The answer is simple Chuck…..

Mack Brown got tired of doing the same old dumb damn commercials for the Longhorn Network and talking about that Championship they won that one time in Austin.

Let’s face it, that’s exhausting…

Q: Dear Mister Wizard –

The holidays can be difficult and oftentimes be the cause of severe depression.

We understand from your various articles that you and Doc live alone and that in itself is a cause for concern from me and other mental health professionals.

Do you feel that this holiday may be depressing for you?

Please answer honestly.


Dr. C. W. McCall MD – Nashville, Tennessee

A: Not if that “video” above makes it to RTR Farm by Christmas Eve it won’t be…

EDITORS NOTE: Don’t judge me, it’s Art AND it’s very (very) festive….


OHIO STATE: We have all heard the sad news (insert sarcasm) this week from Columbus that Coach Urban “Grab his Weiner” Meyer is retiring or stepping down (Whatever) from Ohio State University.

Many of you have written me with pleas of concern and doubt about Coach Meyer.

Do not be concerned dear readers; Urban Meyer has new opportunities….

He is now the new “Spokesperson” for the Ohio restaurant chain “Wiener Schnitzel”

As well as the National Spokesperson for “Vagi-seal”

However there is no word yet if Urban Meyer will endorse the Aaron Hernandez version of “Grand Theft Auto: Murder Incorporated” due out in stores just in time for Easter Sunday 2019.

GEORGIA: I won’t belabor or recount last week’s game here to further the pain of my beloved Georgia readers. I think the University of Georgia newspaper (Red and Black) while quoting the hometown rock group REM said it best……

“Everybody Hurts”

NOTRE DAME: I am little confused here……..

You are “In” a conference, but you “aren’t” (Not really)….

Does that mean you are “Kind of” dating the conference, but you are really just friends, it’s serious but you agreed to see other teams in other conferences?

I ask that for one simple reason……..

“IF” you are “IN” the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) shouldn’t you have already played Clemson for the title of that Conference, say last week?

Asking for a friend…..

PAC 12 CONFERENCE: That was Sooooooooooo cute how you all thought you were going to make the college football playoffs this year. Your enthusiasm is adorable.

TEXAS: Although the Longhorns didn’t defeat Oklahoma for the Big 12 (Light) Championship, it still will not prevent the remainder of us from enjoying the wonderful Holiday telecasts planned this year on The Longhorn Network!

Who didn’t enjoy last years “BEVO Home for the Holidays!

There is nothing that says Christmas quite like watching a Longhorn steer walk around an open field as defecates to the classic sounds of “The Little Drummer Boy.”

In those immortal words of Tiny Tim (Not the weird guy from the 1970’s) the kid…

“God Bless us everyone”

ARMY – NAVY: I want to say a few words about the Army – Navy game here….

But more importantly I want to talk about tomorrow.

Tomorrow is December 7th and in 1941 on that Sunday 77 years ago the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and America was thrust into a world war that encompassed every corner of the globe.

For those people today that equate America’s Military is akin to the Alabama Crimson Tide playing (Fill in the Blank) and should always “win” by four or five touchdowns, and are disappointed when they don’t make quick end of a foe. They need to realize there was a time seventy seven years ago when that simply wasn’t the case.

Imperial Japan had already crushed and defeated China (“Yes”, I said China) and had conquered most of the countries in the Pacific.

Nazi Germany was running over Europe and had the Lion of England on his knees.

America’s navy was sunk, or most of it anyway, at Pearl Harbor, our tanks looked like tinker toys and there weren’t enough aircraft or fighting men to fill the University Michigan’s Football Stadium.

But Americans heard the news that day on the radios in their homes, at work or in church and they came, they came in groves to answer the call to defend their country, to save the world from tyranny.

That was America…..

Those men and women of that time are leaving us now with nothing but the memories of their gallant deeds and sacrifices. Many didn’t come back or survive to tell their story and their story is written with a marker in a far away cemetery.

The quite markers in those cemeteries stand as a testimony to their sacrifice.

This week we buried a President who was a Navy Fighter Pilot in that conflict and we also buried another brave daredevil of the skies as a Tuskegee Airman was laid to his eternal rest.

A dear friend of mine buried his father several weeks ago who saw some of the worst aerial combat of the conflict and lived to raise a family, retire from the Army Air Corps (Air Force) and provide memories for generations to come.

I remember this day December 7th and the men and women that fought at home, sacrificed and worked to keep the war effort moving and certainly those that fought and those that didn’t come home.

They are leaving us now, those men and women of that era.

When I was a kid, I loved to hang around those WW II people….

They were kind, they were tough and they understood hardship

They were good to a little kid from nowhere that had nothing.

Damn I miss them, I miss them all.

Remember Pearl Harbor


Saturday 8 December

Colgate at North Dakota State
Anybody that knows me will tell you I am more of a Crest toothpaste guy…

South Dakota State at Kennesaw State
I am going “Upset” here with the Boys from…….

Notre Dame at Valdosta State
Damn those Golden Gnomers are Everywhere!

Navy and Army
Enough Said…..


Next Week……..

You will have several goodies to look forward to next week……

There will be the upcoming Bowl Season and a preview of the Preparation H Butt Hurt Bowl with Ohio State and Georgia along with several other tidbits.

Also the Country Music Superstar Sylacauga Ledbetter will take a break from his nationwide tour to provide some Holiday entertainment for us all.

So Stay Tuned…

One More Thing…….

You also have a “new” story as promised on this week that I hope you will enjoy and as always “be good to yourselves and those around you this week.”

God Bless…


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