College Football Picks Week 6

October 3, 2018
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

I know that it’s hard to believe but we are halfway through this college football season as we roll into the first week of October.

This is no time to reminisce about autumn or the sunny slopes of yesterday.

It’s time for the Red River Rivalry or as the fine people in the Republic of Texas and the State of Oklahoma like to say…..

It’s time to for us to get our Hate on……

Enjoy your picks…..

Weekend Rewind……

Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was doing remarkably well last Saturday…

That is until the sun went down across the horizon and ironically enough, as the sunlight disappeared so did my weekly average.

The CFB Wizard went 53 and 12 or 82% last week and overall after five weeks in this college football season stands at a rather dismal 284 and 65 or 81%.

I think I have identified the problem in my lack of Prognostication as of late.

The past several mornings when I first awoke….

I have NOT Remembered the Alamo

EDITORS NOTE: Don’t you dare judge me


CFB WIZARD EMAIL QUESTIONS and ANSWERS

Q: Dear CFB Wizard

I am amazed at your prognostication skills and your ability to foresee the outcome of so many games on the schedule, it’s quite remarkable to say the very least.

But as a registered clinical psychologist I am fascinated with your thought process.

If I may ask you one question, what are you thinking this very moment?

Thank you

Sincerely

Dr. Debbie – Charleston, South Carolina

A: This very moment…..

I am thinking that anyone that walks into Home Depot, Lowes or other hardware store and wants to purchase just one single brick is VERY suspicious.

Q: Hey Mr. Wizard!

What’s your take on an early bowl line up???

I’m curious to know what you think!

Kyle – Vicksburg, Mississippi

A: Typically the “Big” New Years Bowl games will take care of themselves, but at this time of the season it’s important to examine the lesser tier bowls as they are often a springboard into the next season.

That being said my early bowl predictions for three bowl games…..

The Flint Michigan Water Bowl or the H2O Bowl as it is commonly refereed as…

Nebraska and Arkansas
This bowl game will be reserved for two teams that have been about as enjoyable to watch this season as Flint’s water is to drink.

Then we have the “Hawaiian Tropic Suntan Lotion Bowl” in Fort Drum New York

Kansas and Tennessee
I know, I know, it’s probably going to be minus 50 degrees when the game kicks off, but the fans of the respective schools can smell the coconut oil from the suntan lotion and dream of the days when they played bowl games in warmer climates.

Lastly in this lineup we have the “Pooch Poop Scooper Bowl sponsored by Hasbro”

Baylor and Rutgers

No description necessary here…..

Q: I HATE YOU!!!

I read what you wrote about Coach Urban Myer and Ohio State and you are a complete jackass and in case you didn’t read the opening line:

I HATE YOU!

Buckeye [email protected]________.com

A: Pete thank you for the well crafted and articulate email.

I would however make one slight suggestion…..

Please do something about the picture that you have associated with your email.

The high shirt collar and lack of a descriptive Adams apple in the picture leads one to believe that you are a transvestite and also do something about your hair because you look like a cross dressing Cher impersonator.

You are Welcome

Q: Hey Man

I just finished reading your book; I didn’t buy the crap my girlfriend got it for me.

You are straight up high dude if you believe in all that God and Christian stuff.

Haven’t you ever heard of “Evolution”?

You know, like when the earth was formed by a collision of asteroids and rocks in space?

Have you EVER heard of “Science”?

You are a dumbass

Marty – Gary, Indiana

A: Despite the name calling you bring up an interesting theory Marty….

I will tell you what let’s do since you are such a big proponent of “Evolution” and the “Big Bang Theory” (The scientific theory not the television program)

Go out in your yard or wherever and find a good size rock, a sturdy one, you know one with some mass to it.

Now loosen up and then go back outside and grasp the rock firmly and start bashing the crap out of your 2002 Ford Focus until it turns into a Mercedes AMG Roadster.

Let me know how that turns out for you…..

I’ll wait…


A WORD FROM THE CFB WIZARD……..

This time of the year brings out different levels of anguish from the college football fans

Many once proud programs are suffering through dismal seasons already and the evidence of such can clearly be seen on the faces of the alumni, fans, coaches and players.

My Beloved Delta State Fighting Okra who have won innumerable conference championships and a number of National Championships have found their Okra not something to be “Feared” as their motto goes by “Fried” as they are currently 0 and 5 and most certainly will be 0-6 after they tangle with Valdosta State this weekend.

There is the Nebraska Blues…

That never ending sinking feeling you get in watching your Huskers go down to FBS opponent Troy

Then there’s Arkansas Misery…

That anguishing sadness of realizing that once again you’re going to suffer a season of endless agony

And then there’s….

Tennessee Gloom and Doom…

That feeling that just engulfs you when you realize that you’re going through coaches…
Like soiled underwear after an all night binge drinking session

When you just are too, too embarrassed to show your face after, say, 6 turnovers against a hated rival…

There is no worse state of dejection than Tennessee Gloom and Doom

Lastly, I think it’s important to remember for the Alabama, Clemson, Georgia and Ohio State and other such fan bases that nothing lasts forever. Much like life itself, there are the ebbs and flows of life just like there is in college football.

So while other teams may and are struggling for now, keep your humility about you.

Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy your success now without being too prideful.

Trust me on this one…..

THE CFB WIZARD

THE GAMES

Thursday 4 October

Georgia State at Troy
I will keep this one as simple as possible……
ALL HAIL THE MEN OF TROY 33-17

Tulsa at Houston
Although both schools are in the same “Time Zone” respectively…..
It’s still not Tulsa Time, if you know what I mean…..
COUGARS 34-31

Friday 5 October

Dartmouth at Yale
I don’t care and neither should you

Georgia Tech at Louisville
The Birds are down and the Rambling Wreck is just that…..
It’s a toss up….
YELLOW JACKETS 31-28

Middle Tennessee at Marshall
There is no finer place to see a college football game than Huntington West Virginia in the Fall of the year…….
Believe it
WE ARE MARSHALL 33-31

Utah State at Brigham Young
This is one of the many games within the State of Donny and Marie that is played for the coveted “Beehive Boot” which quite frankly I don’t understand.
Have they never been stung on the foot, ankle or calf muscle by a damn bee?
Spoiler alert: It hurts like hell!
COUGARS 34-21

Saturday 6 October

Alabama at Arkansas
This game will be closer than you might think….
Way closer
CRIMSON TIDE 34-21

Texas Oklahoma
The Red River Rivalry, in Dallas Texas……..
In this world there is hatred and animosity and then there is this game
It’s going to be a hell of a tussle
BOOMER DAMN SOONER 34-24

Kansas at West Virginia
I wish I had established a used furniture store in Morgantown years ago….
I would have more money than Ernest Tubb by now.
LIGHT THOSE COUCHES!
MOUNTAINEERS 44-10

West Florida at North Alabama
I don’t feel particularly good about this pick…..
Just so you know
FLORENCE LIONS 31-28

Maryland at Michigan
I am not quite sure why, But…
This game reminds me that I need to pick up some peanut M&M’s for Saturday…
They are delicious….
JIMMY’S WOLVERINES 34-17

Northwestern at Michigan State
This Old Big Ten (Whatever the number is this week) Conference Rivalry is played….
For the coveted…..
“Sombrero of Nacho Cheese”
Sorry Wildcats, Nacho year….
SPARTANS 28-17

Tulane at Cincinnati
Although Tulane’s “new” helmets and uniforms looks like a drunken idiot from Hanna Barbera cartoons designed them as a joke; I will still go with…..
GREEN WAVING 33-28

Missouri at South Carolina
Damn it Gamecocks……
Please…..
Just this once
GAMECOCKS 34-31

Wofford at Chattanooga
It is the cold and flu season so I cannot in good conscience pick a school named after a pesky cough. Sorry….
MIGHTY MOCS 33-31

Portland State at Montana
That one whole day of fall felt wonderful in Big Sky Country…..
Welcome to Winter Portland State Kids
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 34-14

Illinois at Rutgers
It’s the month of October so I will go with……
FIGHTING PUMKINS 17-14

Bye Week at Tennessee
Although Bye is a ten point favorite this Saturday….
Unlike past seasons I am convinced that they will kick enough field goals to win….
VOWELS 12-10

Syracuse at Pittsburgh
The Panthers are playing more like house cats these days….
Not the mean ones but the cute cuddly ones on Hallmark cards
You get the picture
ORANGEMEN 34-17

Ouachita Baptist at Harding
Ole Harding has been on roll this season…..
But we Baptist have to stick together
(It’s a rule)
GOTCHA BAPTIST 34-31

Boston College at North Carolina State
I don’t know if it’s an “Upset” or not…..
But I am going with the boys from Bean Town
CHESTNUTT HILL EAGLES 34-31

Clemson at Wake Forest
I don’t care if the Tigers have a one eyed sock monkey at Quarterback they will still win
DABO’S TIGERS 41-17

LSU at Florida
I keep picking against the Gators and they keep winning……
This is “The” test
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 28-17

Florida State at Miami
Do you remember when this one game decided everything in the college football world?
Neither do I…..
HURRICANES 31-17

Iowa State at Oklahoma State
Cowboys and Cyclones!
Wasn’t that a Disney movie?
Never mind…..
COWBOY UP! 38-24

Arkansas Monticello at Arkansas Tech
Despite the odds against them in this game…..
One thing I do know
Bo Knows Weevils
BO’S WEEEEEVILS 33-31

Ohio at Kent State
I have some difficulty picking the “Golden Flashes” because it gives me a horrible image of naked people running amok at the assisted living facility.
Sorry….
FRANK’S CATS 31-28

Navy at Air Force
The first “Big” game for the Commander in Chief’s Trophy ….
It’s going to be close….
Real Close
MIGHTY MIDSHIPMEN 33-31

South Alabama at Georgia Southern
Although my allegiance is with South Alabama…..
This is business, not personal
FREE BIRDS 28-24

South Dakota State at Boise State
The Bronco’s best not take this game lightly…..
I’m just saying…
BRONCO’S 38-31

South Florida at Massachusetts
Nope, not even close……
And that my friends is…..
NO BULL 41-14

Kansas State at Baylor
Please the game description above…..
You are Welcome
BILL’S CATS 33-10

Norwich at Merchant Marine
The fact they there is a school to “train” Marines in the art of commerce is abhorrent to me, they should be out killing something, NOT counting out change at a damn register.
I am appalled
NOR-SANDWICH 28-24

Iowa at Minnesota
I know you have been waiting on this rivalry game!
This Big Ten (Isn’t it twenty six or something?) Conference rivalry is played for….
“The Floyd of Rosedale”!!!!!!!
(Actually it’s just a bronze pig statue, but who cares)
HAWKEYES 31-28

Indiana at Ohio State
Urban Liar and the Black Eyes are going to treat the Hoosiers like Zack Smith’s last date
(Too Soon?)
BLACK EYES 51-10

Delta State at Valdosta State
My Beloved Okra is….
Boiled
Stewed
and Fried this season……
BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 44-10

Limestone at Carson Newman
Who the Hell names their college after a rock?
That’s some real imagination you folks have there….
EAGLESSSSSSSSS 33-21

Arizona State at Colorado
I’m not the only one that has noticed how luscious Wynonna Judd’s back hair glistens in the glow of the stadium lights as she leads the team onto the filed in Boulder.
I have on good authority that she “may” be the new spokesperson for the Animal Planet.
WYNONNA’S 38-21

Louisiana Monroe at Ole Miss
I hope Ole Monroe spends that check from Ole Miss wisely…..
Just saying….
COL. SAUNDERS, FOAM RUBBER BLACK BEARS, LAND SHARKS ETC 41-10

New Mexico at Nevada Las Vegas
You know what they say…..
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”
Well, unless it’s an STD or a credit card bill
Never mind
LOBO’S 33-17

Old Dominion at Florida Atlantic
Damn It Coach Lane, come on……
Please?
LANE’S HOOTERS 33-31

Southern Methodist at Central Florida
“IF” this game was played in Dallas I would feel differently.
BUT since the Knights have their very own referees……
(O’ Yes they do too)
O SO very GOLDEN KNIGHTS 41-21

Kentucky at Texas A&M
You read it here first……
Cinderella keeps her slippers on
BLUE CATS 31-28

Connecticut at Memphis
I wish I cared but I really don’t…..
ELVIS’S TIGERS 34-17

Vanderbilt at Georgia
In the immortal words of Lionel Richie and the Commodores….
“Sail On….”
Not sure where I was going with that one…..
But I felt under some obligation to get a Lionel Richie plug in this week
SMART DAWGS 33-17

Auburn at Mississippi State
Cats and Dogs
My Black Lab “Doc” won’t forgive me for this pick….
WAR DAMN EAGLE 28-17

Washington at UCLA
I am attempting to make up with “Doc” with this pick….
Just so you know
HUSKIES 34-10

Nebraska at Wisconsin
Dear Cornhusker Fans –
I don’t have any good news for you this week
I’m sorry
CHEESE MEN 38-14

Notre Dame at Virginia Tech
In case you were wondering…..
“Yes” this is your “Upset Special” of the week
FIGHTING TURKEYS 31-28

Liberty at New Mexico State
I have a feeling that Liberty’s freedom will be taken from them in this game.
Just saying…
AGGIES 31-10

Washington State at Oregon State
Its been said that the month of October is “Make it or Break” time for teams….
Sadly that time of the month is upon the Beavers
MIKE’S CATS 38-17

California at Arizona
This will be the best game on television “if” you are still awake on Sunday at one in the morning on the East Coast. Unless you like those infomercials, then maybe it’s not.
DA BEARS 33-24

Utah at Stanford
Damn it Cardinal……
Damn it…
(That was from last weekend by the way)
CARDINAL 33-31

Wyoming at Hawaii
Cowboys and Rainbows…..
That sounds like a horribly creepy nightmare after a night of dollar margaritas….
And before you ask…
“No” I don’t want to talk about it
WARRIORS dancing on RAINBOWS 34-24

Next Week…..

Your Week 7 College Football Picks should arrive on schedule next week on Thursday, just have you have come to expect, that is unless the Delta State Fighting Okra stage the upset of the century and in that case I will be in line for a liver transplant at Wal Mart.

It’s next to the automotive section in case you were wondering….

One More Thing…..

Although there isn’t a new story on Mikerights.com this week as time and events somehow got away from me the past several days, it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate you reading the stories and letting me know what you think, because I do truly appreciate it.

Enjoy Your games and be good to one another and yourselves.

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD

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