The Last Picks of 2017

December 7, 2017

Ladies and Gentlemen –

It is fitting on this 76th anniversary on the attack of Pearl Harbor that we have the picks for the Army-Navy game slated to be played this Saturday.

Those brave men who fought that day and for the following years in World War II are fading from our landscape and sadly from our nation’s collective memory.

I won’t forget


Remember Pearl Harbor

Enjoy Your Picks….

Weekend Rewind….

We have come to the end of the 2017 College Football Season…..

Much like dollar margarita night at your local Mexican restaurant, time goes by far too quickly, but without the nasty headache, and the taste of mercury in your mouth the next morning.

The CFB Wizard recorded a 12 and 2 record or 86% for Conference Championship week.

For the 2017 College Football Season Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator went 549-131 or 81% for the year.

I don’t want to dislocate my own elbow by patting myself on the back……

But I would have to say that’s not too bad, all things considered.

As you have come to expect (and Enjoy…) my good buddy from Birmingham, Alabama Jermaine “Funnymaine” Johnson has his very own unique take on last week’s conference championship games.

I love this guy



Q: Dear Mister CFB Wizard

This is a tough time of year for me

I recently got divorced; my husband dumped me on my birthday…

I lost my job two weeks ago and I am drinking way (way) too much wine

To make matters worse Auburn didn’t make into the college football playoffs and we are going to some stupid Sausage Bowl, and I’m setting here on my kitchen floor drinking another bottle of wine just to forget the game with Georgia.

I’m so depressed and despondent that this is the Christmas card I am sending out this year,

You have any ideas to get me out of this funk?


K- Opelika, Alabama

A: Miss K, what you need is some Sunshine in your life!

You want to watch Alabama – Clemson in the Playoffs?

(Call me….)

Q: Hey Mr. Wizard!

We have all been worried about you down here in Louisiana!

It seems you took that Iron Bowl game hard and we were all concerned how your liver transplant went at Wal-Mart?

Are you doing ok?

Breaux Man – Monroe, Louisiana

A: Thank you all for the well wishes and the kind email.

Things went as well as can be expected when one is having their surgery performed in the Automotive Department at Wal-Mart.

However, I could have sworn the liver I purchased said “Grown in America” but during my recovery I have had unusual cravings to put curry powder on everything, and open a convenience store and sell slushies.

So I’m thinking maybe my new liver isn’t American after all……

If you know what I mean

Q: Dear Wizard –

I know you are a big fan of Baker Mayfield from Oklahoma for the Heisman trophy but what about Love from California?

Thanks –

Charles – Boise, Idaho

A: Although I have been stationed in California a few times all I ever found was “like”, not “love” but thanks for asking.

Q: Hey Wizard Man!

My family and I have been worried sick about you!!

I know Alabama didn’t play last weekend (sorry…)

But how was your weekend without Alabama Football?

Are you going through withdraws?

The Paulson Family – Athens, Georgia

A: Thank you so much for the wonderful email Paulson Family!

Despite Alabama “not” playing, I had a wonderful weekend

Auburn Lost…..

Ohio State didn’t get into the playoffs …..

And Alabama is playing in the Sugar Bowl against Mighty Clemson

All in All, I would say it was a fantastic weekend

Q: I hope you are Happy Jackass!

Thanks to people like YOU Ohio State did NOT go to the college football playoffs DESPITE being the BIG TEN CONFERENCE CHAMPS!

What do say NOW Jackass!

Anonymous – Columbus, Ohio

A: Here is all I have to say Mr. (or Ms.) Anonymous …..


Buckeyes 24

Enough said…..

Q: Dear Mr. College Football Wizard

With all the recent news about celebrities and the like being involved with sexual harassment and worse are you ever concerned with your popularity that you could get in trouble with inappropriate behavior, I only ask this because I had heard that you were “quite the rounder.”

Thanks (And be careful!)

Toni – Gulf Shores, Alabama

A: Thank you for the kind and considerate email Ms Toni.

I think you have misread or misunderstood what was actually meant when I have been referred to as a “rounder.”

Last year I had purchased a nail gun to repair the rook on the bard and while “testing” it shot a nail through my boot into the wooden floor and in an attempt to free myself I was the epitome of the old adage:

“When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout”

So you see that term has more to do with inability to operate any kind of machinery than it does with inappropriate behavior.


It was brought to my attention last week in an email that although Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator makes his yearly predictions each year before the season begins, I have never (ever) taken the time to “review” with you dear readers the predictions that “were” to begin the 2017 College Football Season.

Let’s take a quick look back at a few of The CFB Wizard Preseason Predictions

The PAC 12 Championship


(None of you are going to make it in the playoffs. Sorry, but not really)

My pick for the conference champion will be the Washington Huskies

EDITORS NOTE: Swing and a miss on the Huskies….

The Big 12 Conference Championship

The Oklahoma State Cowboys will win the Conference Title

EDITORS NOTE: In all fairness I was battling the flu the day I made that pick…

The BIG Ten Conference Championship

The cold hard truth is that Ohio State will win their division and Wisconsin the other, but like them or hate them; the Buckeyes are the class of the conference.

The Southeastern Conference Championship

Although the Eastern Division appears to be crowed with teams nearly identical in abilities and experience, there is only one team that stands ahead of the others in the division.

The Georgia Bulldogs

The division is theirs to win or lose.

Alabama and Auburn; Both are talented and all have the ability to win the division and the conference.

I’m going to go with my beloved Alabama to win the Division and the Conference title.

But as I stated earlier, there won’t be an undefeated conference champion this year.

Believe it.

EDITORS NOTE: Well, I was “sort of” right here….

The ACC Conference Championship

In the words of the immortal wrestling icon “Nature Boy Rick Flair”

“To be THE man you have to BEAT the man.”

Although most if not all sports writers are picking Florida State to win the Atlantic Division, I am going with the Clemson Tigers.

I am picking what can be considered an “upset” in the Coastal Division as well…

I believe the Miami Hurricanes will win the division under second year Coach Mark Richt and lose a close game to the Clemson Tigers for the Conference title.

EDITORS NOTE: Told you so…..

Another Prognostication of note in the Preseason……

The University of Tennessee will most assuredly win Back to Back National Championships of “Life” this season despite the fact Coach Butch Jones will be fired in October (Pick a date) after having his throat cut by none other than “special assistant” Phil Fulmer.

EDITORS NOTE: Missed this one by a week….


AUBURN: Meanwhile on the plains….

ALABAMA – AUBURN: It was noted during the Iron Bowl by the giggling bimbo CBS Sports sideline reporter that “Alabama and Auburn didn’t play each other for a number of years at the turn of the last century because Alabama refused to play them!”

What this mindless twit didn’t tell you is that Alabama didn’t play Auburn for a number of years because Auburn insisted on choosing their OWN referees for the game, which apparently they still attempted to do during the first half of the SEC Championship game.

OKLAHOMA: You have to expect from The CFB Wizard the latest and most indebt news from around the college football landscape and this bombshell may shock you all.

Sooner Coach Lincoln Riley……

Oklahoma offensive coordinator Lincoln Riley is pictured during an NCAA college football game between Ohio State and Oklahoma in Norman, Okla., Saturday, Sept. 17, 2016. (AP Photo/Sue Ogrocki)

Is actually…….

Country singer Tim McGraw…..

EDITORS NOTE: Have you ever seen the two of them together? I rest my case…


EDITORS NOTE: And he is learning the fight song too, which is nice….

TEXAS A&M: The Aggies arrogance is worse than the University of Texas….

It’s true…..

You hire Coach Fisher away from Florida State with a seventy something million dollar contract for ten damn years and during the press conference he sounded like a gibbering idiot with comments like

“I didn’t really know anything about Texas A&M before they contacted me…”

EDITORS NOTE: You have been in football your whole damn life and you didn’t know anything about Texas A&M?

Then the best of all Aggie President “Money Bags” McFarland said…

“All we expect is a National Championship”

The arrogance here is simply amazing to me, so you will now be known here as “University of Texas – East”

ARKANSAS: Speaking of arrogance……

I didn’t write about it when it happened because I was too angry

Razorback Football Coach Bret Bielema was fired on the football field after their last game by then “interim” athletic director thirty something female Julie Cromer Peoples.

He wasn’t allowed to address his team that he worked tirelessly for or talk to anyone in the football program.

This classless act was brought about by someone trying to be important and trying to make a point that “THEY” are large and in charge.

I could use a lot of words here that rhyme with “witch” but will instead say that her hyphenated name should read “Julie Classless Jackass”

Enough said…


Apparently ESPN doesn’t know what the Gamecocks logo looks like…

And, don’t know the difference between South Carolina and South Carolina State…
But, what does it matter, really?

After all, we are just a bunch of unenlightened Southerners, right?

I guess this is what happens when you get a little over-exuberant in your hiring and firing practices at ESPN.

The main graphics guy was probably let go in a cost cutting measure…

But, don’t worry, the esteemed Trevor Matich, Jamelle Hill, and Stephen A. Smith are still employed.

CLEMSON LIFE: This brief commentary isn’t about being confined at Clemson or the daily routine of any student or student athlete at Clemson University.

It’s about the Clemson Life (Learning is for everyone) Program

Before you watch this brief success story, and I encourage you all to watch it.

I want to simply say this:

Success comes in many different forms, sizes and places and so does love.

Don’t ever doubt it


EDITORS NOTE: “The only disability in life is a bad attitude”

It’s worth remembering


Saturday 9 December

Army and Navy
There are few rivalries in college football….
That although is fierce is never bitter or hateful.
It pits brother against brother
Soldiers verses Sailors
As a Marine I am under an obligation to make this pick….

The Playoffs…….

Wofford at North Dakota State
Welcome to Fargo North Dakota

New Hampshire at South Dakota State
I cannot in good conscience pick Hampshire as it is too close to Canada and thus endorses clubbing baby seals and chewing whale blubber. Sorry…

Kennesaw State at Sam Houston State
I have nothing but love and respect for the Great Sam Houston….
The Hero of San Jacinto…..
I have feeling here
(Don’t hate on me Texans)
OWLS 38-34

Next Week….

Next week we will have the prestigious 2017 CFB Wizard College Football Awards.

(They are VERY prestigious)

You may even have “New” story on next week as well…

So Stay Tuned…

One More Thing….

If you haven’t taken the time to read last week’s story on, about “Losing” you just might find it timely and accurate for today’s times.

I hope you enjoy it…..

You will have a “new” story on the website next week along with your favorite series of Christmas stories in the coming weeks.

As I mentioned last week, it’s time for the Bicycle Elf to begin his preparations for his Christmas deliveries to the Big Oak Ranch in Springdale Alabama.

Every year has its own challenges and this year is perhaps the most difficult.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and support; I need them

I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time to thank you all once again for reading both websites and for purchasing my little book “Sunnyside Up.”

On behalf of both My Black Lab “Doc” and myself;

We greatly appreciate it.

Be good to one another this week and remember that words hurt and words heal.

Enjoy Your Weekend



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