College Football Picks Week 12

November 16, 2017
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

It’s hard to believe…..

But we are closing in on the end of the regular season of college football.

Next week is Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner.

It seems like only yesterday that Florida State was the number 3 team in the country.

We have lot to discuss, so let’s not waste any more time here.

Enjoy Your Picks

Weekend Rewind….

As I am sure you know by now, Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator doesn’t always pick each and every game correctly; in fact I never have gotten all the games correct on any given week.

But there are some times that I miss the pick in such an epic form, that my mistake deserves to be brought to the light.

Take for example last week…..

Here is what I wrote about the game between St. Thomas and St. Olaf

St Thomas at St Olaf
Ole Saint Tommy should have thought this thing through before he scheduled the game….
I’m just saying
OLLIES 33-17

EDITORS NOTE: “Yes” I do in fact check each and every score on Sunday after church

Do you know what the final score of that game was? Care to take a guess?

St. Thomas won the game with a score of 97 to 0

EDITORS NOTE: “Yes” you read that correctly, “97” to zero.
To say that I “punted” that pick into the stands would be an understatement of Biblical proportions, which I also suppose, makes me a “Master of the Obvious”

That being said, the CFB Wizard was 43-10 or 81% last week and currently for the season is 468 and 96 or 83%. And yes that also includes my pick from last week concerning St Thomas and St Olaf.

I am never going to live that one down…..

But on a lighter note

My good friend from Birmingham, Alabama Jermaine “Funnymaine” Johnson is has his own take on the upsets and close games from last week that I am sure you will enjoy.

I love this guy

Enjoy…..

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS

KENNESAW STATE: The Miami Hurricanes have their turnover bling chain and Tennessee has their garbage pail turn over thingy and Georgia has whatever the hell that spiked shoulder pad turnover whatever, but nothing beats Kennesaw State’s “Turnover Plank”!

And unlike other such sideline trophies, the “Turnover Plank” is able to accessorize when the team travels, which is quite nice.

MIAMI: Speaking of the Hurricanes……

I don’t the words to say for this picture other than….

You are doing it wrong

COLORADO: I know, I know

I picked the Buffalo’s in an “Upset” over Southern California last weekend.

I also know that the Trojans defeated the Buffalo’s in Boulder Colorado.

However there is a very good reason for the Buffalo loss as I’m sure you loyal college football fans know by now.

Tragically when the Colorado Buffalo’s were being led onto the field in Boulder by Wynonna Judd, it was reported that she either smelled cotton candy or some other sugary substance and broke away from her handlers and charged into the stands, presumably in search of “something sweet”. Several fans were reportedly gored by her ah, calcium deposits before she was darted down by local animal control officers.

This caused such a disruption to the game, that the Colorado players had difficulty concentrating on the tasks at hand during the game.

While Wynonna is resting comfortably in a near by Rocky Mountain Spa and Resort, I felt under some obligation to not only explain my “pick” but to also up date you readers on the status of Wynonna.

You are Welcome

WORST COMMERCIAL ON COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAMEDAY

I don’t know why we college football fans are suddenly and without warning bombarded each and every Saturday during “our” games with ridiculous commercials, but we are.

I won’t bore you with the video of this week’s entry of “Worse Commercial on College Football Gameday”, but I will give you a brief description and overview.

Apparently there is yet another “Super Hero” movie that is coming to local theaters, not that I care, and the commercial for such nonsense contains of course explosions and witty dialogue, to include “Reviews” near the end of the movie trailer.

“The (Fill in the blank) paper gives it FIVE Stars!”

Another “review” said……

“It’s a THRILL Ride!”

And lastly……

“It is the MOST Fun you will have in your entire life!”

EDITORS NOTE: When I heard the last review I had only one thought….

Apparently whoever wrote that has never been to the Philippines

GEORGIA: I know many Bulldog fans were dismayed with the offensive play calling last week during the game with Auburn. But what they don’t know is that there is a very good reason for that, one that is uplifting as well as heart warming.

I will keep this brief as tears of joy stream down my face…..

Many of you may remember the hit 90’s television program “Life goes on” with the star of the program being “Corky” as seen below.

What you probably didn’t know is that he had been looking for his “real’ father for years and years as he was subsequently given up at birth and adopted by another family.

Prior to the Georgia- Auburn game the dream of a lifetime came true for “Corky” as he was reunited with his father, in Georgia’s offensive coordinator Jim Chaney.

In the immortal words of that 70’s singing duo, Peaches and Herb

“Reunited, and it feels so good”

EDITORS NOTE: I know that I am an awful person, so don’t send me any emails

AUBURN: Congratulations on the big win over Georgia last week!

I am sure you all had fun rolling the bare hedges at Toomer’s Corner…..

ESPN: Last week……

In honor of the Marine Corps Birthday, Sports Center was live at Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island South Carolina.

With all the spoiled rotten “professional” athletes wanting to make a political statement about this or that, it was good to see and enjoy a program that not only celebrated the Marine Corps Birthday, but honored America’s sacrifice by their military.

Well done ESPN, well done….

ESPN II: You may remember that I wrote this about the commentators during last week’s Ohio State and Iowa game.

Before last week’s game between Iowa and Ohio State the commentators of the upcoming game paid a visit to the Children’s Hospital across the street from the Iowa Stadium.

They commentators for the game were Steve Levy, Brian Griese and Todd McShay and they visited with an eight year old boy named Sam Burke who had brain surgery to remove a tumor just a few days before their visit to the hospital.

This past week the same team of commentators were doing their jobs at the Clemson-Florida State game and were still talking about young Sam Burke on the air and provided an update on his condition as well.

Sam went home last week and the commentators said they had gotten Sam’s home address to send him notes from the ESPN crew. Throughout the broadcast the team led by Steve Levy continued to talk about Sam and wish him well.

EDITORS NOTE: I often give college football commentators hell for their broadcasts and commentary during the games. But these men are good people, with a heart. That’s rare these days. Good job gentlemen, good job.

LSU: Few places in the country are as patriotic as Baton Rouge Louisiana…..

In honor of Veterans Day last Saturday the LSU Marching Band, The Golden Band from Tigerland put on one the greatest displays I have seen in some time during their halftime program and might I also say their salute with “Geaux Veterans” was nothing short of outstanding.

Take a minute or two to watch the LSU Marching Band from last Saturday; you will be glad you did.

TENNESSEE: I hate to be the one to report this…..

But poor ole Butch got Butt Chugged

EMAIL QUESTIONS and ANSWERS

Q: Dear Sir

I have followed your college football website throughout the season and I have noticed that you have been somewhat disjointed and disoriented in several of your articles.

Have you ever been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome?

Frank – Cincinnati, Ohio

A: Frank, how did you know what I was having for lunch?

Q: Hey Mister Wizard!!

I have a question for you!!

Do you ever handicap games?

Thanks!

Troy – Waycross, Georgia

A: Thank you for the email Troy…..

I have enough things wrong with me, and some are not actually mental.

But I wouldn’t consider myself handicapped.

Q: Dear Mr. CFB Wizard

I took great exception to your comment last week stating that the Coast Guard was NOT in the military, for your information we have uniforms, ranks and the like just as any other branch of the military.

I would hope that you would correct and retract this grievous error in judgment.

Sincerely
Vice Admiral P. H. Fountain – San Francisco, California

A: Cab Drivers in Tokyo wear uniforms and so do the Greyhound Bus people but that doesn’t make them in the military either and O’ By the way…..

You are in the Department of Transportation, dumbass….

THE GAMES

Tuesday 14 November

Ohio at Akron
I’m afraid Frank’s Cats are going to get Zipped by the Zippers
ZIPPY THE PINHEADS 37-34

Wednesday 15 November

Toledo at Bowling Green
It’s just feeling……..
RICKY ROCKET 66-37

Western Michigan at Northern Illinois
My Black Lab “Doc” said to go with the dogs in this one….
(He has ESPN….)
HUSKIES 35-31

Thursday 16 November

Tulsa at South Florida
I cannot in good conscience pull for any team whose mascot came from some drunk college student peeing through the back of a box fan. Sorry….
DA BULLS 41-28

Friday 17 November

Middle Tennessee at Western Kentucky
I thought only High Schools played on Friday Night?
Never mind…..
BLUE RAIDERS 28-24

Saturday 18 November

Mercer at Alabama
The showdown in the Iron Bowl is right around the corner…
CRIMSON TIDE 41-24

Texas Christian at Texas Tech
To tell you the truth….
This game could go either way, but Doc said to go with….
HORNED DOGS 41-28

Virginia at Miami
It’s still officially Hurricane season until December 1st…..
I’m just saying
HURRICANES 33-17

Michigan at Wisconsin
I wouldn’t call this one an “Upset”……
But it will be to folks in Madison
WOLVERINES 33-17

Louisiana Monroe at Auburn
One week until the Iron Bowl…….
WAR DAMN EAGLE 44-14

North Dakota State at Illinois State
The Bison are stampeding towards another Championship….
Believe it
MIGHTY BISON 28-17

Mississippi State at Arkansas
I really want to go upset special on this one….
(Yes I am serious)
It will be close
BULLY DOGS 31-28

Central Florida at Temple
By the time the Owls hear…..
“And the rockets red glare…”
They will be down two touchdowns
O’ SO VERY GOLDEN KNIGHTS 44-21

Princeton at Dartmouth
Nobody cares….

Southern Methodist at Memphis
I’m not afraid to go “Upset” on this game
Let the Ponies Run!
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 31-28

Minnesota at Northwestern
I’m sure that this Big Ten (Whatever the number is…) Conference game involves some kind of nifty trophy, I am also sure that none of us cares.
O’ SO VERY GOLDEN GOPHERS 33-17

Cincinnati at East Carolina
I’m sure that somebody somewhere is interested in this game…..
Just not sure who or where that might be
PIRATES 38-14

Texas at West Virginia
My trebling hands don’t want to type the words…….
LIGHT THOSE COUCHES!
MOUNTAINEERS 41-31

Montana at Montana State
This bitter instate rivalry in Big Sky Country is called….
“The Brawl of the Wild”
It’s played for the coveted “Great Divide Trophy”
It’s going to be a war
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 34-28

Rutgers at Indiana
I would watch this game however…..
This conflicts with my Cheese sculpting class at the same time…..
Sorry….
HOOSIERS 31-14

Delaware State at Florida State
Please don’t be shocked while watching this game when the Seminoles actually find their way into the end zone on more than one occasion.
SEMI-COLONS 34-10

Citadel at Clemson
Doc said he cannot watch anything that involves dogs getting mauled by cats….
I respect that….
DABO’S TIGERS 44-10

Pittsburgh at Virginia Tech
Nothing helps a beleaguered team out like playing the hapless panthers…..
HOKEY POKEY 34-10

Ouachita Baptist at Ferris State
I had no idea the Ferris wheel people had their own college……
I bet they serve corndogs at their concession stands….
GOTCHA BAPTIST 34-31

Iowa State at Baylor
Last week the Bears of Baylor practiced against two sock monkeys, an ash tray and a broken microwave and lost by thirty points and injured their quarterback.
Enough said……
CYCLONES 151-3

Arizona State at Oregon State
I wonder…….
If the Beavers of Oregon State played the Baylor Bears…
Would anyone win?
It’s a reasonable question…
SUNNY DEVILS 120-6

Charlotte at Southern Miss
Poor, poor Charlotte…….
She hasn’t been this abused during a season since she auditioned with Harvey Weinstein
GOLDEN EAGLES 38-10

Delta State at Bowie State
I am often asked…..
“Why Fear the Okra?”
The answer is quite simple my friends….
In the event you eat enough friend okra, you will get a chance to catch up on your reading the very next day, believe it.
FEAR THE DAMN OKRA 31-28

Western Carolina at North Carolina
Nobody cares…….
TAR HEELS 33-17

Massachusetts at Brigham Young
(See above)
COUGARS 38-10

South Alabama at Georgia Southern
The Jaguars of Alabama are cruising towards a conference title…….
While the Eagles of Southern are searching for yet another coach
JAGUARS 34-13

Kentucky at Georgia
Laugh if you want too……
But it’s going to be closer than you might think
SMART DAWGS 31-24

Navy at Notre Dame
Come on Navy…….
Come on….
(It’s going to be closer than you might think)
FIGHTING IRISH 38-28

Oklahoma at Kansas
The Sooners may actually score three digits in this one…..
If they want too
BOOMER DAMN SOONERS 99-0

Illinois at Ohio State
Yippee! It’s the “rivalry” game for the “Illi-Buck”
Whatever….
BUCKEYES 56-3

Kansas State at Oklahoma State
Sorry Coach Bill…….
This one is ALL Cowboys
COWBOY UP! 41-17

Purdue at Iowa
I will tune into this game if for no other reason than to see “The Wave” of the crowd between the first and second quarters towards the Children’s Hospital across the street.
It is absolutely the best “new” tradition in all of college football.
Believe it
HAWKEYES 33-24

Syracuse at Louisville
I think the Orange are out of juice by this time in the season…..
Just saying….
BOBBY’S BIRDS 44-17

Georgia Tech at Duke
Next wee, the Jackets and the Dawgs square off…….
This is just a warm up….
YELLOW JACKETS 34-17

Maryland at Michigan State
The Spartans should be angry after the butt kicking last week……
SPARTANS 33-17

Nebraska at Penn State
Damn it Cornhuskers……
That’s all I can say….
Damn it….
NITTANY LIONS 41-10

Wofford at South Carolina
Nobody has been talking about the Gamecocks as they have quietly put together a winning season. Beware Clemson, beware…..
GAMECOCKS 38-17

Alabama Birmingham at Florida
I hate to say this……
But I’m not entirely comfortable with this pick
GATORS 28-17

Houston at Tulane
The Green Wave of Tulane is a lot like Autumn….
The leaves get bright and the team is glowing…..
Then the leaves fall off the trees and they can’t win to save their lives…
It’s the circle of life
MAJOR’S COUGARS 33-10

Army at North Texas
The caissons of Army keep rolling along….
Towards the clash with Navy and the Commander in Chiefs Trophy
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 34-21

LSU at Tennessee
The News doesn’t get any better for the Vowels this week….
Sorry…
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 38-14

Arizona at Oregon
There will be scoring in this game than Bill Clinton at a Blind Interns Convention….
RICH CATS 44-41

Texas A&M at Ole Miss
I wouldn’t necessarily call this one an “Upset”
It’s a straight up win..
GIG EM AGGIES 33-24

Boston College at Connecticut
Yawn…….
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 34-10

Marshall at Texas San Antonio
I’m still a believer…..
WE ARE MARSHALL 31-28

North Carolina State at Wake Forest
It’s either “Treat Time” for My Black Lab “Doc”……
Or he is saying “Go with the Big Dogs”….
He likes to think of it as a “Win-Win”
WOLFPACK 34-17

Missouri at Vanderbilt
Call me crazy if you want too……
It’s nothing I haven’t heard from the staff of Vanderbilt Hospital before
COMMODORES 28-24

UCLA at Southern California
The Battle in the City of Angels played for the “Victory Bell”
I’m going with….
TROJANS 34-14

California at Stanford
They call this rivalry game in the land of the fruits and nuts…..
“The Big Game” and it’s played for the “Stanford Ax”
Yippee…..
CARDINAL 33-31

Air Force at Boise State
I hate to go against my Air Force brethren in this one…..
It’s just business, it’s not personal
BRONCO’S 34-21

Utah at Washington
Since “Doc’s” percentage in picking games has been better than mine this season…..
I will go with his pick
HUSKIES 34-31

Next Week….

Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator will have Your Week 13 Thanksgiving Picks out on Wednesday, just in time to enjoy your travels and Thanksgiving.

If you haven’t taken the time to read the “New” story on Mikerights.com from last week, there may be a couple of culinary tips on there to help you avoid disaster this Thanksgiving.

You are Welcome America

So Stay Tuned…

One More Thing….

You will have another “New” story on Mikerights.com, next week just in time for Thanksgiving, that I hope will give you pause to be thankful for all your many blessings.

Thank you all once again for reading both websites and for purchasing my little book “Sunnyside Up”

On behalf of both Doc and Myself, “Thank you”, we greatly appreciate it.

Be good to yourself and to those around you this week and always…

Enjoy your weekend…

RTR

THE CFB WIZARD

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.