College Football Bowl Picks Part II

December 29, 2014
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

By now, the last of the Christmas packages have been unwrapped, your annoying relatives have left and, you have finally gotten your five year old nephews transformer toy removed from the toilet and the Bicycle Elf has made his last delivery of the year.

I can’t believe that Christmas is over already

But now the “Real” Bowl season begins in earnest

So Let’s Get To It…..

This will be Your “last” college football bowl picks of 2014….

With only the “Championship” game left to pick next week

I didn’t want 2014 to expire without thanking you all for taking the time to read the picks and articles this past year.

For sending comments and emails or just simply reading what I write

I truly don’t know what I would have done without you all

From the bottom of my heart

Thank you

Enjoy Your Bowl Picks…

THE BOWL GAMES

Monday December 29

AMISH YODER CANNED MEAT and CHEESE BOWL
This bowl game located in the heart of Amish Country in Lancaster Pennsylvania will be the first bowl game played this day with kickoff slated to be at nine o’clock in the morning. For those of you that enquired as to why this game has such an earlier kickoff, the answer is quite simple.

This Bowl game is played early in the morning verses at night because the Amish believe that “electricity” is from the Devil.
Also, it will not be televised due to ESPN’s inability to effectively “hook up” to the Amish milking machines to transmit the telecast.

Sorry….

AUTOZONE LIBERTY BOWL
Texas A&M vs. West Virginia
This Bowl Game in Memphis Tennessee has a rich tradition over the years….
But they should rename this one “The Schizophrenia Liberty Bowl”
Because with these two teams; you never know who is going to show-up
GIG EM AGGIES 41-34

THE FUDGE PACKERS BOWL Presented by The Keebler Elves
This bowl game is located in tasty Hershey Pennsylvania
The teams selected for this game both melted down before the season started like a Hershey Bar on the dashboard of a Ford pickup in Dallas on July 4th
Indiana Hoosiers and Virginia Cavaliers

EDITORS NOTE: Admit it….
You thought I was going to say something nasty about the above bowl game didn’t you?

Don’t feel too bad, I giggled myself when I wrote it

RUSSELL ATHLETIC BOWL
Oklahoma vs. Clemson
This Bowl game in O Town…..
(In the above reference I am referring to the town of Orlando Florida, not the defunct musically challenged Boy Band with the same name)
It’s important to note here that Russell Athletic wear is made in the United States…
Enough said…
DABO’S TIGERS 31-24

ADVOCARE V100 TEXAS BOWL
Arkansas vs. Texas
Two old Southwest Conference foes square-off in Houston Texas….
These are the type of matchups were “Legend’s of the Fall” are made
HOOK EM HORNS 24-17

Tuesday December 30

FRANKLIN AMERICAN MORTGAGE MUSIC CITY BOWL
Notre Dame vs. LSU
Nashville, Music City USA…..
Just for the record…..
If it weren’t for my rather “checkered” past I would be Mayor of Nashville
Just saying….
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 34-17

THE SPOTTED DICK BOWL
Terre Haute Indiana

spotted_dick-640x480

EDITORS NOTE: Please stop giggling….

The sponsor of this game is an English Sponge Pudding….

With those naughty minds of yours I’m surprised you didn’t get coal in your stockings

EDITORS NOTE II: In all fairness….
I was laughing so hard I forgot who was playing….

BELK BOWL
Georgia vs. Louisville
This bowl game located in Charlotte North Carolina….
Charlotte, of course, is also the home to “Purdue’s Urine Cakes and Urinal Cleaning Accessories”
But for reasons that should be rather obvious, nobody wanted them as a sponsor…
After all, who wants a trophy made out of urine cakes?
HUNKER DOWN DAWGS 31-28

THE ELECTROLUX VACUUM BOWL
This Bowl game is played in unattractive and butt ugly Saginaw Michigan
It’s reserved for two teams that sucked the life out of their fans all year
Kentucky and West Point

FOSTER FARMS BOWL
The Foster Farms Bowl is located in Santa Clara California….
Kickoff is at 2200 Eastern Standard Time on ESPN
Yeah, I won’t be watching it either
Maryland vs. Stanford
CARDINAL 21-17

THE I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER BOWL
The teams, student bodies, fans and alumni represented in this bowl game are composed of nothing more than lard and food coloring.
The Ivy League and Michigan Wolverines

GODDESS REMI HUMAN HAIR WEAVE BOWL
Played each year for the “Bust of Remi with a Weave of Human Hair” Trophy
This Bowl game is designed to raise the awareness for the plight of female pattern baldness and the therapeutic value of receiving a weave in raising self esteem.
Wyoming Cowboys and Colorado Buffalos

THE BIRKENSTOCK SANDALS & CLOGS BOWL
Located in San Francisco California….
The Winner of this game receives the coveted…
“Silver Butt Strap, AIDS Awareness bracelet and The Cheese Wiener Trophy”
Harvard and California Berkley

Wednesday December 31

CHICK-FIL-A PEACH BOWL
Ole Miss vs. Texas Christian
Atlanta Georgia…..
This is going to be a heck of a game
It’s like Billy Idol once sang….
OLE MISS REBEL YELL 38-34

HASBRO YO-YO SNOOP DOG BOWL
This Bowl game is located in bullet riddled Compton California…
The Winner of this game not only escapes with their lives but also receives the coveted “Shizzle My Mizzle Trophy”
California Golden Bears and Washington State Cougars

VIZIO FIESTA BOWL
Boise State vs. Arizona
I’m a confused here…..
I thought “Vizio” was some sort of fingernail fungus you got from eating sushi
It’s inappropriate to have a “fiesta” over such a thing
BRONCO’S 41-31

THE JIM DANDY BOWL
This Bowl game is located in Black Oak Arkansas….
I don’t know who is playing in this game; I just wanted to give some props to BOA
Go Jim Dandy….

EDITORS NOTE: As The CFB Wizard, I have the authority to give the appropriate props to whomever I want, it’s a rule

CAPITAL ONE ORANGE BOWL
Mississippi State vs. Georgia Tech
This is going to be a titanic clash from two powerhouses, that no one thought..
(Including yours truly)
Before the season started that they would be just that
It’s going to be a good one
BULLY DOGS 34-28

Thursday January 1st 2015

OUTBACK BOWL
Auburn vs. Wisconsin
I will be far too busy preparing my tailgate preparations to watch this….
Sorry….
WAR DAMN EAGLE 38-31

GOODYEAR COTTON BOWL CLASSIC
Michigan State vs. Baylor
Dallas Texas……
Some of the best memories of my life took place in Dallas and in the Cotton Bowl
That aside…
I’m still a bit surprised they haven’t erected a statue of me in the “West End” yet…
It must be a funding issue
DA BEARS 34-28

BUFFALO WILD WINGS CITRUS BOWL
Missouri vs. Minnesota
I am so glad this bowl game is on the schedule….
It reminded me that I have to get the wings ready for tailgating
O’ SO Very GOLDEN GOPHERS 28-24

ROSE BOWL GAME PRES. BY NORTHWESTERN MUTUAL
Oregon vs. Florida State
Here we go……
The first of the two “Playoff” games ever in major college football
Hold on to your seat….
QUACKERS 34-31

ALLSTATE SUGAR BOWL
Alabama vs. Ohio State
Two words for you here…..
CRIMSON TIDE 31-28

Friday January 2

LOCKHEED MARTIN ARMED FORCES BOWL
Houston vs. Pittsburgh
I have always been honest with you readers from the first article until now…
So let me say this….
I will be far too hung over from the Sugar Bowl to watch this game….
I just hope it’s a “good” hangover
COUGARS 24-21

TAXSLAYER BOWL
Iowa vs. Tennessee
I was initially really excited about this game….
Because I thought it had something to do with abolishing the IRS
Then I realized that wasn’t the case…
(Sigh)
But you can’t stop a man from dreaming
VOWELS 27-21

VALERO ALAMO BOWL
Kansas State vs. UCLA
This game is personal to me
Not because of the teams or the sponsorship
It’s because every morning I wake up, the first thing I do is….
“Remember the Alamo”
(It’s how I roll)
BILL’S WILDCATS 31-17

TICKETCITY CACTUS BOWL
Washington vs. Oklahoma State
O.k. this game is confusing….
I thought this bowl game was in Tempe Arizona…
I have no idea where the hell “Ticket City” is even located
Wait…
Is it close to Funky Town?
COWBOY UP! 28-24

Saturday January 3

BIRMINGHAM BOWL
East Carolina vs. Florida
I should be sober enough following the Sugar Bowl to watch this game in the Iron City
Don’t you dare judge me…
GO GATORS 34-24

Sunday January 4

GODADDY BOWL
Toledo vs. Arkansas State
A Little Bowl Trivia for you here….
Who was the very first person to parachute into beautiful Ladd’s People Stadium in Mobile Alabama with the game football for the inaugural bowl game?
(Hint…No it wasn’t Bruce Willis)
RED WOLVES 33-31

Next Week….

The “Pick” for the Championship game in Arlington Texas will be next week…

Along with a few other end of the 2014 season memories

So Stay Tuned

One More Thing….

Before 2015 rings in, I will have something for you all on mikerights.com

It’s all about the “Blue Angels”

I hope you all have a healthy, happy prosperous New Year

God Bless You All and please be good to one another

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD

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