Helpful Christmas Carols…

December 23, 2014
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

Many of you have written me the last couple of weeks about being stressed out concerning upcoming visits by “crazy relatives and in-laws” coming to your house for Christmas.

You came to the right place my friends…..

I have some helpful Christmas Carols that will ease the tension

No need to thank me, It’s how I roll

I like to call these “Christmas Carols for the Mentally Unbalanced”

For example

Everybody knows your Uncle Todd is taking medication for schizophrenia

Here you go

The Christmas Carol I “re-wrote” for this illness is now called…

“Do You Hear What I Hear?”

For Aunt Debbie who has had multiple personality disorder issues

“We Three Kings Disoriented Are”

I wrote this Christmas Carol for your Grandma Alice who as we all know has some memory issues as of late

“I think I’ll be home for Christmas”

We all know that nobody likes your Uncle Chip, who continues to talk at great length about how great he is and all the great things he has perceived that he has accomplished.

He is clearly narcissistic

Here is the Christmas Carol just for him

“Hark the Herald Angels sing All about Me”

Then there is your niece Amy who as we all know has been taking medication for being a manic depressive

“Deck the Halls and Lawns and Streets and Stores and Offices and Cars and Bushes and Trees…….”

We can’t forget your paranoid Uncle Billy…..

“Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me”

And certainly I wouldn’t forget your nephew Troy with the case of attention deficit order

“Silent Night, Holy Ooooh look at that over there, and I have some chocolate, why is France so far away?”

What would Christmas be without a Christmas Carol for Ole Uncle Raymond….

Everybody knows he has obsessive compulsive disorder; it’s ok to talk about it

“Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells”

Certainly there are other songs re-written by Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator and semi-famous amateur song writer.

You can purchase the entire collection of “Christmas Carols for the Mentally Unbalanced” right here at The CFB Wizard

CFB Christmas

I know, I’m a genius, you don’t have to say it

It will only embarrass me

Merry Christmas

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD

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