College Football Picks Week 10

October 30, 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen-

It’s time for Your “Spooktacular” Halloween Picks

(Queue the scary music….)

Don’t be afraid and please don’t be scared this week

There will be some “treats” and more than a few “tricks”

Sprinkled with some ghoulish rivalries and frightening upsets

Let’s not waste any more time here, my candy corn is not going to eat itself

Weekend Rewind…..

Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator bounced back last week with a surprising 35 and 7 or 83% for the week that was. That leaves The CFB Wizard at 383 and 98 or 80% for the season.

And in an unrelated side note…..

I do a rather impressive Frankenstein impression this time of the year

Actually it’s just a lot of grunting while my eyes roll back in my head

Which oddly enough, looks eerily similar to my reaction the morning after I had ill prepared Mexican food on dollar margarita night at El Toro.


Greetings from the Heart of SEC Country!!!

Did you ever have one of those days where you felt like you about to conquer some great obstacle or really make some progress in something only to come up short?

Well, that’s what happened Friday night as the Trojans of Telfair entertained the a bunch of Wild Indians from Folkston in a knock down drag out affair that saw the homestanding Boys in Blue come up a little short in a big Region 2A slugfest. The game was back and forth as the Boys in Blue traded punts and turnovers and saw Charlton County going into halftime with a tenuous 7-0 lead.

Then midway through the third stanza, thunder struck as Senior standout Kelvin Clay picked up a fumble and rumbled 40 yards for the TD to tie the game up. The Okefenokee Redskins then reeled off 2 straight TDs and just when it looked like we were about to get scalped, these Gladiators responded behind the capable hands of Freshman Ian Blankenship who tossed TD passes to playmakers Roy Pound and Clay. After a missed extra point left the Trojans down by one, the Injuns put up another 7 with 2 minutes left and it looked like we had these papooses right where we wanted. But the storybook ending was spoiled with just over a minute as the Freshman commited a turnover that Charlton County turned into 7 points and a win. We came up short on this night but this was probably one of the best efforts I’ve seen out of these kids in a long, long time. Good job, boys.

The Clark County Cow College took a week off to ponder and postulate the upcoming Cocktail Party with the Reptiles of Gainesville. As of this writing, questions still remain about Todd Gurley’s status, although it’s been almost a week since the NCAA was petitioned for reinstatement.

We’re in capable hands with Mr Chubb, but I’d prefer to have a two headed monster available to go up against these Gators rather than leaving anything to chance in such an important game which could influence the outcome of the SEC East.

After 2 straight losses, the North Avenue Trade School traveled to the Steel City ready to wreak havoc on the hapless Cats of Pennsylvania’s Steel Town. After forcing 6 turnovers and jumping out to a 28-0 1st quarter lead, the Bees ran away with this game to the tune of 56-28. The Wreck racked up over 600 yards of offense and left little doubt that they are going to be a team to be reckoned with and will have a big say in who wins the ACC.

And over in the Dome of Hot’lanta, the Buzzards of the Boro swooped in to let the homestanding Cats of Georgia State know just who owned the GSU moniker. Coach Willie Fritz dialed up an offense that was just too tough to tame and headed back to Statesboro with a convincing 69-31 notch in the win column. Next up for these Angry Birds is a home date with the Trojans of Troy in an attempt to show the old guard of the Sun Belt that the new guys in town are out to claim their rightful place atop the conference.

Things I think:

Georgia – Tick, Tick, Tick….. Applied for reinstatement of Gurley last Wednesday….. And still we wait. Amazing that they could dole out rulings in the case of Cam Newton and the Ohio State tattoo crew in a matter of a few short days. But, this? UGA did all the work and they still can’t decide…. A.J. Green would probably agree.

Kentucky – You lost. But you’ve come a long way, baby.
Dak Prescott – Sorry folks, but Dak didn’t really look very Heisman-esque in the Kentucky game. That’s not a put down. He’s a good quarterback and a winner, but I don’t think he wins the Heisman.

South Carolina – 5 of 6 on 4th down conversions. And what does that “really” mean. Spurrier didn’t trust the defense to keep Auburn from scoring is the plain and simple answer. Whammy Ward, you’ve got a lot of work to do because you’ve cost your offense at least 3 games.

Auburn – And where exactly was your defense?

Ole Miss – Was ole Les right when he said that Death Valley was “where dreams come to die?”

LSU – Just when you thought they were done……

Florida – Rumor control says that the “Byes” scored on a 99 yard kickoff return last week

CFB Playoff picture – The first week was revealed tonight and I was stunned.

Not by the top 4. Not by where Georgia was positioned. But, where they placed Notre Dame. Probably the first honest assessment of this program that I’ve seen in my lifetime. Playoff Rankings have them at 10 and the other polls have them at 6, 6, and 7. One of the analysts stated accurately that they had been rewarded for a “good loss” to FSU but had no significant wins to put them higher. Well said.

FSU – The ESPN documentary “The U” portrayed the unbridled thuggery and
lawlessness of the University of Miami’s football team back in the days of
Michael Irvin and Melvin Bratton. If there were an Academy Award for
chicanery and scandal, the University of Miami would be the recipient…

Until now. Congratulations to FSU for not only wrestling away this highly
coveted award, but for also putting the Hurricanes to shame.
Because it’s not just the football players that are involved in these sinister
deeds, it’s a wide range of diverse participants from the athletic
department to the administration and EVEN includes the Tallahassee Police
Department!!! Hat’s off to you FSU!!!

Schedules – It’s starting to get brutal in the SEC. Lots of big games with big implications on the horizon. It’s going to be interesting to see how the rest of the season plays out because there won’t be 3 teams in the CFB playoff picture at the end of the season. Stay tuned.

Legacies – The definition of a legacy is something handed down from a predecessor.

We often think of legacies in terms of great achievements or remarkable accomplishments. But, you don’t have to be a legend or hero to have a legacy.
An old friend of mine and I were talking about this topic over the weekend.

Although I don’t consider myself that old, it was pretty much just old man talk between a couple of not quite past their prime friends. And then my friend said something that stopped me in my tracks and I found to be profound. “You know, for most people, their legacy is how people talk about you at your funeral and after your gone.”

I considered this and realized, he was right. Many strive to be flamboyant. Others want to be controversial or combative. As if these qualities will define them. But, in exhibiting these qualities, what do people really think? How will you be remembered? I hope and pray that my legacy will simply be that I was a good man, I did the right thing, and that I was an adequate servant of the Lord. How about you?

Well, That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week.
And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.

These are your future collegians of tomorrow.

Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth


Q: Dear Mr. CFB Wizard…..

Knowing your wide and varied circulation among college football fans, could you please post this letter for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

“I know it’s been a long time since we last talked, since we broke up.

But when I saw you the other day, I felt like I needed to say something

You are probably wondering why I left you without any explanation.

I wanted to spare your feelings, because the truth is it wasn’t me, it was YOU.

Sure, everything looked good at first and we seemed happy, but I was miserable.

You kept annoying me with that same stupid song of yours all the damn time. And those color combinations of yours, were just hideous.
There were times we spent around your delusional family members that I considered taking a sharpened stick and jabbing my own ear drums out.

I see that you have bounced from relationship to relationship since I left, and appeared (when I saw you the other day) to still be bitter about my leaving you.

You and your family need to get over your bitterness and anger towards me

One of these days Tennessee…..

You will be as happy as I am now”

Sincerely –

Roll Tide

Coach Lane Kiffin
The University of Alabama

A: While reading this letter…..

I actually had one tear trickle down my face like that Indian does when he sees garbage on the highway


OKLAHOMA: Finally…….

It was announced this week that the College Football Hall of Fame has the Great Oklahoma Sooner Linebacker Brian Bosworth on the ballot this year.

Regardless of what you might think of him…..

He is without a doubt one the greatest college linebackers to have ever (ever) played the game of college football and I want to say one other thing as well….

“IF” he isn’t voted in the College Football Hall of Fame

Then there is No justice north of the Red River

GAME DAY INTRO MUSIC: I tuned into a college football game Saturday….

And I saw what has been described as a “country music duo”….

Singing something or another as they “rapped” their way through the lyrics

Let me say this about that….

First of all that’s not country music: period

Secondly, “if” you have greasy stringy hair, are covered in tattoos and wear a chain attached to your wallet, then you need to either be a truck driver, in a motorcycle gang or be a disgruntled military veteran.

Anything else and you look like a damn fool

NORTH CAROLINA: For over a year now……

Reports have been coming in from Chapel Hill about classes designed specifically for Tar Heel athletes along with grade changing to ensure eligibility on the football field and on the basketball court.

This is really nothing new….

When Phil Fulmer was at Tennessee they had “Walking Classes” for the football players

(“Yes”, I am serious)

Believe it or not, two of the Volunteer football players actually failed walking class……

(“Yes”, I am serious)

And the University of Tennessee routinely changed the grades of the student athletes

(“Yes”, I am serious)

But Phil “The Great Pumpkin” Fulmer or the University of Tennessee never (ever) got called out by the NCAA or ESPN

But that aside, because I have a number of North Carolina Tar Heel players, fans and alumni who read The CFB Wizard, I want to write this in a language that they can understand, digest and reflect upon.

So here goes…..

“You no read, and write so good, that not good…..

So read books and not just looky at pictures”

EDITORS NOTE: I kind of sounded like Yoda there for a minute…

WEST POINT (ARMY): It has been well documented here and on a number of other sports sites that the Army football team is horrible, as in really bad as in they stink.

Then this week the bombshell hit…..

West Point has committed NCAA violations by plying prospective football prospects with alcohol and allowing “some of the prospective recruits to make-out with the Army cheerleaders”

Based on the “quality” of football players at Army I think we have isolated the problem.

Next time try letting the prospective recruits “make-out” with the female cheerleaders

It’s just a suggestion

ARKANSAS: Who says those Big Boys up front can play some football?

I present the best touchdown pass of the week by someone over three hundred pounds

VIRGINIA TECH: I give up……

Where are you hiding that team that destroyed Ohio State?

TENNESSEE: With Halloween approaching…….

I was sent these pictures of a Halloween Party last Saturday Night in Knoxville….

I was disturbed by them and thought I would share them with you




EDITORS NOTE: It would appear that even the vegetables in that town are not immune to being butt chugged. Isn’t that like cruelty to vegetables or something?

LSU: In honor of the Fighting Tigers thrilling “Halloween Miracle” in Death Valley last Saturday Night over the Ole Miss Rebels, I present Mike the Tiger and Cheerleaders….

ALABAMA: With all the discussion of some college football players committing acts of rape, theft and other violent acts, it’s important to remember that there are a lot of young men playing college football that actually “get it”

Here is one of them….

Compliments of Mr. Cooper of the University of Alabama



Thursday October 30

Florida State at Louisville
This is no Trick, but it is Your “Upset Special” Treat of the Week

Troy at Georgia Southern
Last week the Southern Eagles scored 69 points…..
Yeah this one is easy..

Friday October 31

Cincinnati at Tulane
They say there are a lot of ghosts in New Orleans….
If that’s true…
Then who are you going to call?

Tulsa at Memphis
If you are wondering why I made this particular pick….
I was at a Halloween party once…
When during the festivities a drunken partier peed through the back of a box fan

Saturday November 1

Air Force at Army

Oklahoma at Iowa State
I think this game is going to be uglier than Hillary Clintons Halloween mask
No wait….
She isn’t wearing a mask, never mind……

East Carolina at Temple
I know I mentioned it last week….
But this game reminded me
I still miss Shirley Temple

Duke at Pittsburgh
Slightly off the subject….
I was somewhat disappointed last week that I didn’t receive any comments on the “new’ all purpose word I invented last week….“Rascadango”
Perhaps you are unfamiliar with it’s usage, I will attempt to rectify throughout these picks

South Dakota State at North Dakota State
This rivalry game between these two border-states is played for the
“Dakota Marker”
It’s worth noting two important points here….
Never (ever)…NEVER (EVER)…
Get between Wynonna Judd and a Nutty Buddy at a Weight Watchers meeting..
And don’t get in the way of a herd of stampeding Bison….

Northwestern at Iowa
I would watch this game but…..
I will be teaching my Sea Monkeys a synchronized swimming routine at the same time
Don’t laugh it’s going to be in the next Olympic games

Maryland at Penn State
The Lions gave the Buckeyes all they could handle last week….
I just hope they don’t get blinded this week by those ugly ass multi-colored uniforms of the turtles.

Wisconsin at Rutgers
Simply put…..
I believe the Badgers are going to “Rascadango” the Scarlett Knights

Central Florida at Connecticut
Let’s be honest here…..
Nobody reading these picks is going to watch this game
O’ SO very Glittery GOLDEN KNIGHTS 34-17

North Dakota at Eastern Washington
I wish the Fighting Sioux of North Dakota would have told the NCAA to go “Rascadango” themselves before they ever considered changing their mascot name.
EAGLES 33-17

Louisiana-Monroe at Texas A&M
The Aggies desperately needed this game after the recent Alabama Beat Down…
But remember you heard it here first…
The Aggies will ruin somebody’s championship season before this is all over
Believe it

Boston College at Virginia Tech
I have absolutely no idea which of these two teams is going show-up….
It’s a toss up….

North Carolina at Miami (FL)
Considering the disparity between the two schools, I will make two selections here to accommodate the readers of the respective universities.
Pick 1) “Run Canes Run”

Pick 2) “You no can stop Hurricanes when with the football (the leather ball) they run (means they move “real fast”) with it and North Carolina (where you live) offense heels are stuck in tar”

EDITORS NOTE: Don’t laugh….
Pick Number 2 (above) had more words in it and made more sense than a senior level thesis of a football player at North Carolina that received an “A”

Washington at Colorado
I know it’s the day after Halloween….
But I am still not taking my “Rascadango” costume off until Monday

Western Kentucky at Louisiana Tech
I know this pick will be considered a mild “Upset”….
Kind of like my stomach after too much candy corn

Montana State at Cal Poly
The Polly Crackers defeated my Beloved Montana Grizzlies last week…
(I still they cheated somehow)
But lightening doesn’t strike in the same place in Montana twice in two weeks
(It’s a rule)

North Carolina State at Syracuse
I would watch this game but I have to wash my “Rascadango”….

North Alabama at Delta State
This one is for all the marbles and a shot at the Division Championship
The once beaten Fighting Okra of Delta State….
The undefeated Lions of North Alabama
It’s going to be one heck of a game

Florida vs. Georgia
The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party….
Jacksonville Florida
This one won’t be pretty
DAWGS 34-17

Texas Christian at West Virginia
Believe it or not…..
I think this one could easily go either way

Purdue at Nebraska
The Boilermakers are to college football….
What Elton John is to Olympic Down Hill Skiing..

Virginia at Georgia Tech
This game is going to be almost too close to call….
Believe it…

Brigham Young at Middle Tennessee
(Please see the above pick and insert here)

Valdosta State at West Alabama
I can’t help but wonder…..
If the “Men’s Warehouse” sponsors the Blazers
It’s a legitimate question

Indiana at Michigan
The Wolverines have owned this Big Ten (or Thirteen) Rivalry forever…
I can’t believe I am making this pick…
I feel like I am going to get the ole “Rascadango” here

Kansas at Baylor
Have you ever noticed that when you say “KU” it sounds eerily similar to….
I don’t think that’s a coincidence
DA BEARS 145-3

Lenoir-Rhyne at Carson-Newman
The once beaten Eagles are quietly making their way back to the top of the ratings….
A collision with the winner of the North Alabama – Delta State game awaits

Kentucky at Missouri
Before you ask…..
“NO” this pick is NOT a Typo….

Southern California at Washington State
It seems like every week the past month I pick the Trojans to win, they lose…
Here we go again…

Auburn at Ole Miss
This will be a battle until the final whistle blows…..
It will be the end of the line for one of these two fine teams
This one is truly a toss-up

Colorado State at San Jose State
Coach Jim has the Rams Rolling…..
They will be going to another Bowl game this year
Believe it

Old Dominion at Vanderbilt
I fear this is the last game of the season that the Commodores will win…
Enjoy it…

Southern Arkansas at Ouachita Baptist
The Mighty Ouachita Baptist are still currently undefeated…..
And in case you were wondering how that happened to be
It’s prophesied in the Bible, please see the Book of Bryant

Arkansas at Mississippi State
I have said this before the season began…..
The Mighty Hogs are going to ruin somebody’s season this year
It’s going to be a close one, believe it

Stanford at Oregon
I would call this pick “Just a Feeling”
I am going with the big boys up front from Palo Alto

Texas at Texas Tech
This Old Southwest Conference Rivalry is played each year for the coveted…
“Chancellors Spurs”
I still believe…

Tennessee at South Carolina
Without any defense from Carolina, this game may be closer than you think

Notre Dame at Navy
One question…..
How in the Hell is Notre Dame always ranked in the top ten with a schedule like theirs?

Oklahoma State at Kansas State
Say what you want about Coach Bill Snyder….
That Man can coach some damn football

Arkansas-Monticello at Henderson State
After last weeks come from behind win, I think the Bo Weevils will go full on….
“Rascadango” this week…

Illinois at Ohio State
This rivalry in the Big Ten (or fourteen) is played each year for the….
(“Yes”, I am serious)
In case you were wondering what that actually is….
It looks like a petrified giraffe turd; but it could be a turtle
Not that it matters

Arizona at UCLA
I have received a number of emails this Halloween Week asking me….
“Why don’t we see Coach Rod’s wife “Rita” at any of the Wildcat day games?”
The answer is simple….
She has to return to her lair before the sun comes up
ROD’S CATS 41-38

California at Oregon State
Slightly off the subject of this game…..
But what ever happened to the singing duo “Peaches and Herb”?
I heard Herb traded Peaches in for an Apricot
That duo name doesn’t have a ring to it at all, not at all……
(Sorry, I drifted there for a minute)

Utah at Arizona State
Believe it or not…..
This game could go either way…
Please don’t question “Rascadango”

Utah State at Hawaii
If Dog the Bounty Hunter was playing in this game the outcome would be different…
He isn’t so it won’t be..
AGGIES 38-17

Next Week….

Unless the Lord has other plans for Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator

Your Week 11 College Football Picks will be out next Thursday

We are coming down to the wire in this season my friends

So stay tuned…

One More Thing….

There will be another story on for you next week that I am sure will not be as disturbing as the story a week ago.

Thank you all for reading both sites, that encouragement means a lot to me

Enjoy Your Games….



Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.