College Football Picks Week 1

August 27, 2014
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

It’s time to get those chins straps buckled and your “game face” on…

The 2014 College Football Season is here…

And as a required safety tip, might I suggest…

Be sure and Remember to loosened up before you start reading the Picks

I wouldn’t want you to pull something important this early in the season

I present your 2014 Week 1 College Football Picks

Enjoy….

South Georgia Football News and Views

Greetings from the heart of SEC Country!!!

It’s hard to believe that football season is finally here

For some, the time between seasons can drag and for others it passes rather quickly. The latter was the case for me as I had family and friends who experienced medical problems that consumed my time and thoughts.

My 86 year old mother took a spill and had some complications, but appears to be headed down the road to recovery. Believe me when I say this, she’s “old school” tough.

One of my dearest friends had a pretty serious medical problem not long ago and
is still fighting to get back into playing shape. While I was able to spend only a short time with him, you can rest assured I try to frequently text him encouragement but think and pray for him daily and with much zeal.

Heat and sweat are in abundance as our Boys in Blue seek to improve on last season’s record. There should be plenty of excitement down on South Third as this edition of the Trojans appears to be one of Coach Burleson’s best.

Up in Athens, I have high expectations for my Junkyard Dawgs as they return stud running back Todd Gurley and try to replace Aaron Murray with Senior signal caller Hutson Mason.

Over on North Avenue, the Bees are all abuzz about the upcoming season with a pretty good recruiting class and some big backs trying to make their mark on the ACC.

Statesboro’s Eagles are destined to become a bunch of Angry Birds as they enter a historic season as one of the newest members of the Sun Belt Conference with a brand new coach. It’s going to be a great season in which tons of questions will be answered, the contenders will excite, and the pretenders will be exposed.

Here’s some of the things I wonder about on the upcoming season:

What does autonomy really mean? Does this force Notre Dame to finally have to get with the program (or a Conference) and not be the “special” kids that they think they are?

What in the world were they thinking?  When teams have to report extra icing (South Carolina) and shaving gear (Oregon) “just to make sure” that they are in compliance, what does that say about the NCAA?

Will Hutson Mason turn into the second coming of Joe Cox or Aaron Murray at Georgia? Hope it’s the latter.

How is it, that so many SEC schools are starting the season with new QB’s; Georgia, South Carolina, Texas A&M, and Alabama just to name a few. I’ll begrudgingly give the nod to the Chickens with Dylan Thompson’s previous experience in big game situations.

With the establishment of the “Power 5” conferences, what happens to the “Lesser FBS” conferences? Georgia Southern finally reaches FBS, “big boy” football status, can conceivably compete for a National Championship this year, but next year is relegated to also ran status.

Lawsuits, lawsuits, lawsuits. They’re everywhere. How much longer can football survive before it’s litigated out of existence?

Ohio State – Braxton Miller gets hurt and some pundits on the sports talk show circuit surmise that this upsets the whole playoff scenario.

This only confirms what many already suspect: Much like Notre Dame and Southern Cal, media bias is firmly skewed toward the Buckeyes.

I just heard Rodney Atkins’ “Watchin’ You” on the radio and it reminded me.

You never know who’s watching. To my fellow fathers and grandfathers. We pass on to our kids our passion and loyalty of the Bulldogs, Tide, Rebels, etc. But it’s possible we pass on some bad things associated with that fanaticism, too. So, next time you feel like throwing that cell phone against the wall or kicking the furniture when your favorite team fumbles or drops a pass, remember that the little ones who are in the room with you may feel compelled to emulate that behavior in the future.  
 
That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week.

And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.
These are your future collegians of tomorrow.

Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS

MISSOURI: In an effort to recapture the nation’s attention last year with an openly gay player, the Tigers have announced that they have signed Ryan Seacrest to play for the team next year presumably as a wide receiver.

More news expected in the coming months on what roles Boy George, Elton John and Kenny Chesney may play within the Tiger athletic program.

EAST TENNESSEE STATE UNIVERSITY:
Several months ago…….

The Buccaneers of East Tennessee State announced that they had hired former Tennessee Volunteer football Coach Phil Fulmer as a “consultant” to their fledgling football program, to help them recruit, “set the tone” etc for their football team….

In other news….

Sexual assaults, theft and armed robbery have increased on the ETSU campus by 73%

Coincidence, I think not…

THE NCAA: In case you haven’t heard…..

Below is an official statement from the NCAA concerning South Carolina..
(No, I’m not joking…)

The Gamecocks self-reported 22 potential minor NCAA infractions, one of which involved cookie cakes given to recruits visiting campus and what South Carolina believed to be impermissible icing on the cakes.

(Yes, you read that correctly)

The NCAA reviewed the submission and decided there was no violation by the Gamecocks.

Lot’s of talk about cookie cake icing – NCAA talked with SEC & USC – all now agree it’s not a concern & will not be processed as a violation
It’s unclear what specifically about the icing the university felt was a violation, but the compliance department felt it necessary to submit to the NCAA.
The Gamecocks reported the incident as potentially violating NCAA bylaw 13.6.7.9, which states that an institution may not arrange miscellaneous, personalized recruiting aides including, but not limited to, personalized jerseys and personalized audio/video scoreboard presentations.

The rule also includes the use of “decorative items” and special additions to any location the prospective student-athlete will visit.

EDITORS NOTE: Does anyone care to guess why South Carolina felt obligated to report these “potential” violations?

Because the utter absurdity of the NCAA dictates it, that’s why…

And that my friends is what I have preaching to you all for years

The NCAA, much like a lot of government’s I could name, are out of control and are ruled like dictatorships. There, I said it….

THE SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE (SEC): The Commissioner for the SEC, Mike Slive has tabled a suggestion for the NCAA, among other things Mr. Slive suggested the following…

That the NCAA steering committee adopts its proposal for the voting threshold, which would allow the Power Five Conferences to pass legislation with more ease within the NCAA, as well as avoid ridiculous and time consuming cake icing issues as described above.

The NCAA board of directors will vote on the steering committee’s proposal later in the year and it would need a two-thirds vote of the 65 schools and 15 student representatives to pass the resolution.

CENTRAL FLORIDA UNIVERSITY: In case you missed it…..

Last month Golden Knights Coach George O’Leary had this to say about the SEC potentially being the lead in a different college football league without the foolishness, dictatorship and money grabbing from the NCAA….

They sound like the South during the Civil War,” O’Leary told the Orlando Sentinel earlier this week. “If they don’t get their way, they’re going to secede and start their own country. … I think college football is in real trouble.”
Smaller Division I schools likely can’t afford the changes that the SEC and the major conferences are seeking. And while Division II and Division III have their own rules, forming a Division IV would seemingly create a wider divide between the Power Five and other smaller schools.

“They’re trying to go the other way and create an even wider gap between the haves and have-nots,” O’Leary told the Sentinel of the Power Five and the SEC’s threats. “I think some of these schools have forgotten where they came from.”

EDITORS NOTE: O.k. I am going to keep this response simple and to the point…

Listen you stupid pumpkin headed Yankee….

“IF” you could have put together a truthful resume, you would have been the Notre Dame Head Football Coach, right?

Bet you thought we forgot all about that….

That whole “I cured polio” and “invented canned beer” came back to bite you in the ass didn’t it?

So listen closely….

When you have thirty thousand fans show up to your stadium to begin tailgating on Thursday before Saturday’s game and the million dollar plus RV’s are parked side by side for acres and acres, then you can talk to us about “Big Time” college football.

Until then, shut your cakehole

ARIZONA:
I want to clear up an unfounded rumor that has been circulating in Arizona..

The Arizona Wildcats will NOT be changing their name or teams mascot to “The Hair Plugs” in honor of Arizona Football Coach Rich Rod.

This rumor has been traced to some recent endorsements by Coach Rich Rod for “Dale’s Hair Plug Emporium” and is no way associated with the rebranding or renaming of the University of Arizona Wildcats.

NEBRASKA & TEAM JACK: Most if not all of you are familiar with the video of Jack Hoffman who has been battling cancer at a very young age running for a touchdown in a Nebraska Cornhusker Spring game a year ago. If you are unaware or have forgotten, here is the video….

It hurts me deeply to tell you this

Jack’s cancer is back…

Pray for that little boy and his family

Please


The Games

Wednesday August 27th

Abilene Christian at Georgia State
The electricity and sheer excitement abounds as the 2014 College Football season begins with two teams that nobody cares anything about! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
SOMEBODY 35- THE OTHER GUYS 17

Thursday August 28th

Texas A&M at South Carolina
Now THIS is the WAY to get a season started….
Believe it
GAMECOCKS 31-17

Wake Forest at Louisiana-Monroe
The first “Upset Special” of 2104…..
Although I would categorize it more of a mild case of indigestion
WARHAWKS 24-21

Eastern Illinois at Minnesota
Do you know what the new state motto is in Minnesota?
Golden Gophers; the “other” white meat
O SO VERY GOLDEN GOPHERS 33-14

Howard at Akron
Poor ole Howard must really need the money…
Bless his heart
ZIPPY the PINHEADS 38-10

Presbyterian at Northern Illinois
This game will feature the Presbyterian Blue Ho’s and the Huskies…
Ho’s and Huskies?
That sounds like something nasty is going on in Eskimo Land
HUSKIES 41-14

Chattanooga at Central Michigan
After much debate here at The CFB Wizard Headquarters….
It has been determined that “Chippewa’s” is actually an all male midget exotic dance group, not to be confused with their regular sized counterparts “the Chippendales”
I’m glad that debate has finally been settled
You’re Welcome America
MIDGET CHIPS 34-17

Idaho State at Utah
Ok, here goes….
“A Rabbi, a construction worker and two Utes walk into a bar….”
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…
TWO UTES 41-10

Tulane at Tulsa
This game could be called the “Battle of the Tul’s”…
Which reminds me, whatever happened to Jethro Tull?
GOLDEN HURRICANES 31-28

Boise State vs. Ole Miss
I think the Idaho potatoes get boiled in this game….
REBEL BLACK BEARS 41-24

Cal Poly at New Mexico State
To my fans of New Mexico State….
Please bring back the mascot “Pistol Pete”
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
LASSO LARRY 28-21

Temple at Vanderbilt
I am picking Vanderbilt in this contest for two very good reasons…
One: My Doctors and subsequent treatment is taking place there..
Two: I still love Lionel Richie and the Commodores
BRICK HOUSE COMMODORES 33-17

Rutgers at Washington State
I am going with Coach Mike the Pirate in this one….
COUGARS 38-17

Weber State at Arizona State
O Yeah this one will be close….
Not…
SUN DEVILS 102-0

Friday August 29th

Brigham Young at Connecticut
Not that I care, because I don’t…..
COUGARS 41-10

Villanova at Syracuse
I wonder when the Syracuse upper classman return to campus after the summer, if they say to each other…”Orange you glad to see me?”
ORANGE 3-2

Jacksonville State at Michigan State
This game is going to be uglier than my High School Senior Prom Pictures….
SPARTANS 216-0

Bowling Green at Western Kentucky
Interesting coincidence in this game…..
Western Kentucky is located in Bowling Green Kentucky and they are playing Bowling Green from Bowling Green Ohio, I’m sorry that’s as good as it get’s for this game.
HILLTOPPERS 31-28

UTSA at Houston
I am still not completely sure that UTSA doesn’t stand for United Tennis Sissy’s Association, I’m just saying…
COUGARS 34-31

Colorado State vs. Colorado
This Rivalry in the Mile High State….

EDITORS NOTE: Please note that does not in any way reference the legalization of marijuana in the state of Colorado, nor does it condone the said use of such

As I was saying, this rivalry is known as the “Rocky Mountain Showdown” and it’s played for the coveted “Centennial Cup” and this one is going to be….
RAM TOUGH 28-24

UNLV at Arizona
I don’t know what will be uglier here….
The game itself or a picture of Rita Rod without her makeup
RICH CATS 77-0

Saturday August 30th

Penn State vs. Central Florida
I Believe
NITTANY LIONS 31-28

Delaware at Pittsburgh
I will be beginning my SEC tailgating preparations at this time and will be unable and unwilling to care about this matchup in the land of frozen tundra, sorry…
PANTHERS 28-24

UCLA at Virginia
The Cavaliers will keep this game close until the end of the National Anthem
BRUINS 41-14

North Dakota State at Iowa State
Yes, I am serious….
MIGHTY BISON 34-24

Youngstown State at Illinois
I was trying to remember why this game was so important and then I remembered..
It isn’t…
FIGHTING PUMPKINS 24-17

Indiana State at Indiana
This game will not be televised in Indiana this year…
Unfortunately the Amish Butter Churning Championship was already scheduled
Sorry….
HOOSIERS 10-7

Northern Iowa at Iowa
That Iowa Hawkeye mascot gives me the creeps…
I’m just saying..
HAWKEYES 28-17

Appalachian State at Michigan
Revenge is sweet, even if it takes a decade or so to finally enjoy it….
WOLVERINES 34-10

Ohio State at Navy
Let the hype about the Urban Buckeyes begin….
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 44-17

Western Michigan at Purdue
In the words of the great 18th century poet Dudley Hobostank….
“Thou doth think thy Boilermakers of Purdue doth Suck-ith”
BRONCO’S 24-17

Tennessee-Martin at Kentucky
The Wildcats will begin their first step in winning the Ohio Valley Conference title…
But unfortunately the Cats will go winless in the Southeastern Conference this year
WILDCATS 34-10

Wofford at Georgia Tech
I am baffled as to why someone would name their college after a pesky cough
I really don’t get it…
YELLOW JACKETS 44-21

Georgia Southern at North Carolina State
Yes, you read that score right the first time, believe it…..
SOUTHERN EAGLES 34-21

Nicholls State at Air Force
I would like to have a penny for Nicholls thoughts on this game..
(I know, that was so cleaver I surprised myself a little bit)
FALCONS 24-14

William & Mary at Virginia Tech
It’s like they say in Blacksburg Virginia on a Saturday Night…..
“Get your Gobble On”
(Not quite sure what that means, but it sounds dirty)
HOKIES 41-10

West Virginia vs. Alabama
This matchup is taking place in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta…
It’s going to be a good one
CRIMSON TIDE 34-17

James Madison at Maryland
I really don’t care and neither should you…..really
MULTI-COLORED GLOW IN THE DARK TURTLES 24-17

Florida Atlantic at Nebraska
Given the choice I think the Florida of the Atlantic would rather be lashed by a hurricane than travel halfway across the country for an ass kicking, I’m just saying…
CHILDREN OF THE CORN 51-6

California at Northwestern
Despite picking a close score in this matchup..
This game has the potential to be uglier than a Chicago Mayoral election.
WILDCATS 24-17

Marshall at Miami (OH)
This game will be a tussle from start to finish….
I’m a Believer
WE ARE MARSHALL 28-21

Rice at Notre Dame
I think the Boy’s From Rice are going to hear….
“Snap, Crackle and Pop” before this is one is over
FIGHTING IRISH 31-14

South Dakota State at Missouri
I know, I know….
You are all asking “Do the Jackrabbits of South Dakota have a legitimate chance in this game? I will make this very simple for you all…”No; No they do not”
MO’S TIGERS 44-10

Montana at Wyoming
Some of you may view this as an “Upset Special”….
But I believe this may very well be the Grizzly’s year to go all the way
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZ 31-24

Portland State at Oregon State
Say what you will about Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator…
But I Believe in the Power of the Beaver
BEAVERS 41-10

UC Davis at Stanford
“Smart Kids Beat the Living Hell out some Communists”…Film at Eleven
CARDINAL 54-0

Arkansas at Auburn
I wish I had better news for my Razorback faithful in this one…
But I don’t..
WAR DAMN EAGLE 34-17

Clemson at Georgia
This game will be too close to call and can go either way….
So don’t leave your seats..
DAWGS 34-31

Elon at Duke
Don’t they mean “Elton”?
Because “EEEE-LON” doesn’t make any sense
BLUE DEVILS 38-10

Liberty at North Carolina
When I first saw that the “Flamer’s” were having a game in North Carolina…
I thought to myself…
I wasn’t aware Kenny Chesney had a college football team…
Who knew?
TAR HEELS 31-17

Austin Peay at Memphis
Two questions here….
Who the heck is “Austin” and why does he have to “Pee” so bad?
ELVIS’S TIGERS 24-21

Louisiana Tech at Oklahoma
I think the score below may accurately represent the halftime score…
I’m just saying…
BOOMER SOONERS 63-10

Samford at Texas Christian
I will keep this pick simple….
Sam is going to get his ass kicked in Fort Worth….
HORNED FROGS 34-0

Central Arkansas at Texas Tech
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 49-10

Idaho at Florida
These Gators have a lot to prove this year….
The March to Atlanta begins with some mashed potatoes
GATORS 38-10

Montana State at Arkansas State
All the teams from Big Sky Country are tough this year….
Real tough….
BOBCATS 41-21

Southern University at Louisiana-Lafayette
This tailgating Saturday I am having Crawfish (Yes I am)
So with that, I am giving the nod in this one to the boy’s from Breaux Bridge
RAJUN CAJUNS 31-14

Stephen F. Austin at Kansas State
Coach Snyder may be 108 years old, but he can damn sure coach some football…
BILLS CATS 34-17

Southern Miss at Mississippi State
This tussle in the Beautiful Magnolia State will be close….
For a while anyway, then it will be all….
BULLY DOGS 28-17

Fresno State at Southern California
I seriously don’t care…
TROJANS 31-21

NC Central at East Carolina
I thought the “NC Central” was a railroad…..
PIRATES 28-20

Florida State vs. Oklahoma State
This game is going to be a lot closer than you might think
So Don’t blink…
SEMINOLES 34-31

North Texas at Texas
Charlie Strong’s Longhorns will not disappoint this year…
Welcome to Austin Coach Strong….
HOOK EM’ HORNS 34-14

UTEP at New Mexico
This may very well be the best college football game on television at 0300 Sunday Morning Eastern Standard Time….I’m serious
LOBO’S 28-24

Wisconsin vs. LSU
Make no mistake about it….
This game is going to be one heck of a fight from start to finish
What’s LSU’s “live” mascot’s name?
“Mike the Tiger”….
Amen
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 28-24

Washington at Hawaii
I still miss the Great Coach Don James….
There will never (ever) be another Huskies Coach like him..
HUSKIES 38-14

South Dakota at Oregon
Tough Opener for the Quack’s….
I guess Marge’s Dog Grooming Academy had other obligations on Saturday
QUACKERS 88-0

Sunday August 31st

Utah State at Tennessee
No matter what happens in this game you can count on one thing…
Somebody in Knoxville is going to get Butt Chugged
VOWELS 33-17

Southern Methodist at Baylor
What I wouldn’t give to see my beloved Ponies win this game…
I know, it’s not going to happen
But you can’t stop a man from dreaming
DA BEARS 41-21

Monday September 1st

Miami (FL) at Louisville
Believe it…………..
BOBBY’S BIRDS 28-21

Next Week….

For those of you that may still be celebrating or consoling one another after this week’s games, Your Week 2 College Football Picks will be out next Thursday….

Along with a separate article out on Wednesday on the upcoming college football playoff championship format, I think you will find it illuminating

So stay Tuned…..

One More thing….

There will be another article next week on mikerights.com as we continue the series “High Crimes and Good Times”, I hope you all will enjoy it

Enjoy your weekend

RTR

THE CFB WIZARD

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