Hootie’s Valentine

February 12, 2013

Ladies and Gentlemen –

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner…..

In Honor of this auspicious occasion

Hootie Snitch the self proclaimed “Greatest Tennessee Volunteer Fan on the Planet” and sometimes contributor to the CFB Wizard has provided what he has described as “His Declaration of Love” for his Wife “Thelma” this Valentine’s Day.


Hey Yawl! It’s me Hootie Snitch the “Number Damn One Tennessee Volunteer Fan on the Planet!”

Coming at you once again from the Heart of Volunteer Country right here in Baneberry Tennessee!

I done went and wrote my “Declaration of Love” for my wife Miss Thelma Snitch for the Valuentine’s Day

I hope it don’t make yawl cry

By Hootie Snitch

Was in Neyland Stadium, the top of the world.
Peyton was a playin, ah’s as giddy as a squirrel.

End Zone, upper deck, bout 40 rows up.
Dressed in Orange plaid pants, little Beam in my cup

You was settin’ on yore cushion, purty, stringy brown hair,
But I noticed you had, a damn Dawg on yore chair.

One sexy, hot mama, at two-fifty five,
My heart started thumpin, I was comin’ alive.

Said “My name is Hootie, you as cute as a button,
I love my Vols, but you’re up here for nothin’”

You said you was Thelma, that you didn’t care,
You wanted some Beam, if I’d only share.

Yeah she was from Georgia, bout 90 miles South,
But I didn’t care, loved her purty pout

Couple teeth they was missin, ever since she was grown,
She couldn’t eat corn, but she COULD gnaw a damn bone.

We’d done won 6 straight. We was goin for seven.
Get it done on this night, and I’d be in heaven.

Getting’ late in the game, and I looked around,
You was settin’ there cryin’, wadn’t makin’ a sound.

I came on over, set down in a seat.
Put my arm on yore sholder, I could hear my heart beat.

You nuzzled my neck, with that puppy dog nose,
I was ‘cited as hell, thought I’s gonna explode.

I sucked in my belly, but sqeaked out a poot.
You just smiled real big, and said that was cute

I gave you some pork rinds, to make you feel better,
You perked up real quick, like my old Irish Setter.

For almost twenty years, we been livin’ a dream.
Although you from Georgia, we’re a helluva team.

When you fry up baloney, or collards, or beans,
Or doctor me up, like when I caught gangrene.

Or when I cut my foot and needed a stich,
Thank my lucky stars that I made you a Snitch

Happy Valuntines Day, Baby Doll!!!!

Hootie – Out!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply