College Football Week 13 Thanksgiving Picks

November 23, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen –

Thanksgiving is here and it’s time for us all to be thankful and count our blessings; and this Thanksgiving with have a menu full of hard feelings, rivalries and animosity.

For your viewing pleasure we have Civil Wars, Clean Old Fashioned Hate, Battles and Bells, Showdowns, Golden Boots and a variety of Cups, one is even an Apple Cup.
Then we have a Bowl of Iron.

So set back and relax, while you can; It’s Rivalry Weekend

Enjoy your Picks…..


Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was a rather surprising (All things considered) 47 and 16 or 75% last week.
That leaves me at 635 and 180 or 78% after 12 weeks of the 2011 college football season.
But let’s not focus on the negative here.

It’s Thanksgiving and I am more of a Norman Rockwell traditionalist when it comes to this wonderful holiday. I know that’s “old fashioned” but I enjoy it.

There are so many traditions, too many to mention, and certainly each family has their own traditions they adhere to this time of year.
And for many of us it’s a time of deep reflection and melancholy as we remember the Thanksgivings of yesterday.

But I think perhaps my favorite Thanksgiving tradition is when sometime during the festive weekend I get all liquored up and decide to make some bad decisions.

Don’t judge me; half of you are planning on doing the same thing.

Have a Great Thanksgiving


Hello, to you all. I went to a football game Friday night and watched some college ball on Saturday. But, this week, I’m not going to write about those games because a guy you may have heard of, originally from Minneapolis Minnesota, died Sunday night and I’m sad.
His name was Larry Munson. I loved listening to that man. I know if you are a Georgia Bulldog football fan, you loved listening to him too. Larry was like us. He was one of us.
When me and the rest of the folks down here go to see the Telfair Trojans on a Friday night, we don’t care anything about Clinch, or Hawkinsville, or Wilcox. We’re pulling for our team to beat anybody that walks on that field against us.

Maybe that’s why we loved Larry Munson so much.
Because he didn’t care anything about Florida, or Alabama, or Auburn, or Tennessee.
He wanted to see HIS Bulldogs….Our Bulldogs, win every time they stepped out on the field. Maybe we loved him so much because there are so many more Bulldog fans all over the great state of Georgia that can’t get to Athens on Saturdays and watch a game and he was our link to Sanford Stadium, Bryant-Denny, Jordan-Hare and all those other revered cathedrals spread across the South.

We loved him because he brought those Dogs into our trucks and tractors and homes every week before there was ESPN or Fox Sports or Sports South or an SEC Network.

Back in those days, down here in the country, we only got one, maybe two TV stations. We might see our home team once maybe twice in a season if they were up in the Top 10 of the polls. So, we turned on the radio and tuned in the local station and went about our day on the tractor pulling a bush hog, riding to the barber shop to get the weekly haircut, or sitting on the front porch with a cold glass of iced tea, and listened. And Larry was always there to prod, push, and cajole those Bulldogs to another victory or heartbreaking defeat. He didn’t wax poetic about what was going on during the game.
He just talked, and yelled, in that unmistakable Larry Munson voice, with that unmistakable description of the events that were unfolding on the field and told us what was going on. Sometimes he didn’t even tell you what had happened on the field. But you knew. “Run, Lindsay, Run…”, “We just stomped them in the face with a hobnail boot…”, “My God Almighty, He ran through two men. Herschel ran right over two men!! They had him dead away inside the nine!!!”

For those of us my age, we grew up with Larry. I’m in my 50’s and remember those balmy September afternoons riding to Workmore or McRae with my daddy. He always had the radio on the Bulldogs games on those Saturday afternoons. He wasn’t an emotional man, but when Georgia would score, or stuff a drive, or kick a field goal, and Larry was working us up to a frenzy, he’d just smile.

I can hear him now……

Can you?

“Whaddaya got, Loran?”

Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth


Q: Dude, man, like you’re about extra-terrestrial man.
I really dig your site, man, like it’s really cool.
But, dude, man, check it out.
My names Doobie, and like, maaaaaaaan, you’re not gonna believe this, man.
Like, man, you know how everybody always talks about old dude from LSU, what’s his name? Ahhhh, yeah, that Les Miles dude? Yah, that’s it.
Well, you know, you hear how everybody’s always talking about him eating grass at the games and stuff? Well, check it out, dude. I live down the street from the old dude, you know? Well, when he like first got here I was walking down the street, like just minding my own business, cause my Volkswagon was in the shop.
Well, ole dude is out in his front yard and he’s like real nervous and all and I’m walkin down the road smoking a little weed and he smells it and looks over at me.
Well, dude, he looked like a cop or something, you know?
And I thought I was busted cause he came walking out to the road and he like starts talkin bout how stressed out he is cause he has ADD or something and he can’t tell time sometimes and people get mad at him or something.
And he goes, like, DUDE, is that like a marijuana cigarette and, like, I say yeah, you wanna hit? And he’s like hell, why not? So he sits there and smokes the WHOLE DAMN THING!!! Well, he’s like, dude, this is pretty neat!!! And he starts talkin bout something about a game or something and he’s like man, you gotta hook me up, dude. Get me some more of this stuff!!! So I’m like, okay, dude, chill and don’t talk so loud.
So he gives me a hundred dollars and I start walking off and I turn around and look and he’s like acting like a cow, down on his hands and knees like grazing in the front yard from the munchies. So, I just wanted to tell you Wizard dude like this dudes been getting all my best weed every fall and won’t leave me alone until after January and I don’t know what to do. Can you, like, help me man?

Doobie Jenkins
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

A: Thank you for the considerate email Doobie, but I have one question….
Was “Old Dude” wearing a #7 LSU Jersey?

Q: DEAR SIR!!!!!!!!!!
Didja see that pro football game last night? I mean, I just can’t believe it!!!!
You know I was real upset when my baby and always love Tim Tebow ran away from my Flarda Gaters but I just can’t stay mad at that boy for long.
You know, when I see him given everybody that cute little smile my heart just melts. Well, anyways, them Denver Broncos went and whupped them Yankee boy New York Jets last night!!!!
And you know what else?
I KNEW it was gonna happen even before it did!!!!
See, my cousin that lives up there near Live Oak called me up and said he had this video game or something called The Mad NFL or something.
He said that Saturday after the Care-lina game that he was so upset and distraught that that turncoat Steve Spurrier beat our gaters that he decided to just play that video football.
And he said he played them Broncos against the Jets like a dozen times and he pertended to be Tim Tebow on there and guess what!!!! He said he won every time!!!
So it was like I had me a vision and ESP and all at the same time cause I knew my baby was gonna win that game AND THEY DID!!!!
I truly believe deep in my heart of hearts that my sugar baby Tim Tebow is on a mission. I mean, I know that real life football game aint no video game but I think the Lord Almighty must have him one of those video controller thangs and is makin the love of my life TIM TEBOW WIN!!!!
I mean, I hear them sports folks talkin on TV bout how by beloved Tim couldn’t hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle when it comes to throwin the ball, but it’s like some kinda divine intervention when he decides to skedaddle and run with that football.
What do ya think of that Mr Wizard!!!
I think Tim Tebow is gonna win him a Super Bowl to go along with his National Championships!!!!!! And you know what else? It’s like destiny cause the Bronco’s has got orange in their uniforms too, just like them FLARDA GATERS!!!!!
Go Gaters!!!!
Tracy in Homassassa

A: What have I been telling you Tracy, “Good things come to those who wait”

Q: Dear Sir,

Although I am world renowned, I have fallen on some hard times lately.
You see, I recently left the sunny climes of Hawaii, in search of more business due to economic reasons. I did extensive research and came to the conclusion that there would be a ‘bountiful’(no pun intended) supply of criminals needing to be picked up in Knoxville, Tennessee. All I had to do was check the sports pages to reach this decision. My problem now is that the University of Tennessee seems to have cleaned up its act a little and business is way off. I am now looking at relocating to another location near an institution of higher learning that has a major football program. I have narrowed it down to Gainesville, Florida and Eugene, Oregon. Could you please provide a little insider knowledge on the possibilities at these two schools?

Thank you,
Dog the Bounty Hunter.

A: You are the Man Dog, I will hook you up with all you need to know about Eugene Oregon and Good Hunting, it should be a target rich environment.


ESPN COLLEGE GAMEDAY: Coach Lee Corso; you almost made me pee on myself last Saturday and by the looks of Kirk, I wasn’t the only one…

We Love you Coach

SOUTHERN MISS: Really Golden Eagles? You lost to UAB?
I am far too upset to say anything else………………….

OKLAHOMA STATE: I am sorry I wasn’t paying attention….

What were you all saying about that 28 year old quarterback being a Heisman Trophy candidate? I thought I heard something about a National Championship game, something or another?

I’m sorry I wasn’t listening; I was watching the celebration in the Ames Iowa…

OKLAHOMA: Sooners, please see above and insert your own cuss words concerning the Baylor Bears

OREGON: I think this picture says it all….

CLEMSON: You lost the damn Textile Bowl…..
And worse you caused me to have a tourette’s attack….

FLORIDA STATE: I am too mad to talk to you at the moment….

MONTANA: Congratulations Mighty Grizzlies on winning “The Brawl of the Wild”

ARIZONA: Soooooooooooooooooo you are going to hire Rich Rod and his ten dollar hooker wife to run the wildcat football program. I have but one thing to say….


Enclosed is a Great Picture of “Rita Rod” going to the Arizona Wildcat News Conference with “Coach Rod”……One word: Classy


Tuesday November 22nd

Miami (OH) at Ohio
This Buckeye Battle doesn’t have a great deal of hatred involved.
But there is enough animosity to make it fun to watch

Thursday November 24th

Texas and Texas A&M
The Last Lone Star Showdown…..
I still can’t believe I won’t see another one in my lifetime.
It’s a damn shame….

Friday November 18th

Louisville at South Florida
I am going “Upset Special” in this one…..

Houston at Tulsa
This game will be more offensive than Hillary Clinton in a bikini
(Don’t blame me if you got sick over that visual, you probably ate too much yesterday)

Iowa at Nebraska
This “new” rivalry in the Big Ten (something or another) is called….
“The Hero’s Game” and it’s played for the “Hero’s Trophy”
I honestly don’t know why anyone would play a football game for a giant Sub Sandwich
But Ok, I guess….

Kent State at Temple
If you are watching this game instead of Arkansas and LSU…..
Then you have too many issues to be addressed in this short column, but please seek professional psychiatric help immediately.

Bowling Green at Buffalo
The Bills are to College Football what Richard Simmons is to Fitness.

Akron at Western Michigan
In a fight between a kangaroo and a Bronco….
(Still not sure why a college in northern Ohio has a kangaroo for a mascot)
I will go with a Kangaroo, maybe because I like Outback Steakhouse
ZIPPY 31-28

Toledo at Ball State
I got it….
The Rocket’s and the Cardinal’s are all excited about this game
I’m waiting on the LSU – Arkansas game, How about you?

Arkansas at LSU
This game is called the Battle for the Golden Boot and make no mistake about it…
The two schools, fans and players hate each other
This one can easily go either way…Believe it

Colorado at Utah
Have I mentioned that Colorado hasn’t won an away game since the Two Utes were just “One” Ute?
TWO UTES 38-17

Boston College at Miami
I will be far to exhausted (Before and After) The Battle for the Golden Boot…
To care about this game, sorry

Pittsburgh at West Virginia
They call this game “The Backyard Brawl”
It is that and more….
It’s a war until the final whistle blows
Light Those Couches!

UTEP at Central Florida
The Folks from El Paso visit the Boys from O’ Town (Not the musically challenged defunct Boy Band) and there isn’t much to worry about here…
The Knights are Golden….

California at Arizona State
I was going to watch this game but Turkey makes me sleepy….
Even watching two turkeys like these teams playing football makes me sleepy

Saturday November 19th

Georgia at Georgia Tech
This bitter rivalry is known by a very simple name….
“Clean, Old fashioned Hate” and it’s played for the Governors Cup
Larry, this one is for you….

Michigan State at Northwestern
The Spartans are headed to the Big Ten (Whatever) Title Game…
Believe it..

Ohio State at Michigan
This hate filled game is known simply as “The Game”
The animosity and the bitterness lasts for generations.
This one is going to be closer than you might think and could go either way

Rutgers at Connecticut
You aren’t really going to watch this game with all the rivalry games on are you?
I didn’t think so….

Cincinnati at Syracuse
I really don’t get the Syracuse Mascot….
“Otto the Orange”?
He looks like the Cool-Aide man had a baby with a jar of Tang.

Rice at Southern Methodist
This rivalry in the Lone Star State is called “The Battle for the Mayors Cup”
I’m a Mighty Mustang Man (Even though I’m Baptist, not Methodist)

Tennessee at Kentucky
This fierce border rivalry is played for the Bourbon Barrel and Tennessee has owned it
They still do….
VOWELS 21-17

Maryland at North Carolina State
You’re not seriously considering switching to this game are you?

The Second Round of the Division II Playoffs
North Alabama at Delta State
They met once earlier in the season and the Okra Fried the Lions late in the game
The Lions return the favor today…

Troy at Western Kentucky
Helen was the prettiest woman in all of Troy Alabama and since she eloped with that traveling salesman a few years ago the town hasn’t been the same.

Wyoming at Boise State
You know what you say when a cowboy falls off his horse?
Cowboy Down!
BRONCO’S 56-10

Nevada at Utah State
The Wolf Pack are going to have their paws full of the Aggies in this one
PACK of WOLVES 38-34

Oregon State at Oregon
This game is called “The Civil War” and it’s played for the Platypus trophy
Make no mistake about it, there is nothing “Civil” about this rivalry.
(I hope like hell I am wrong here)
QUACKS 38-24

Virginia Tech at Virginia
This game in the Commonwealth of Virginia is played for “The Commonwealth Cup”
It’s Thanksgiving, time to go with the Turkeys

Penn State at Wisconsin
The Lions aren’t out of the Big Ten (or Fourteen whatever) Title picture yet
This one will be close, real close….
BUCKY the BADGER 28-17

Texas Tech at Baylor
I have feeling this game is going to be uglier than your Aunt Edna’s Ten Bean Casserole
BEARS 43-17

Florida International at Middle Tennessee State
Thus one might be close, until the Hilton Panther breaks it open

Purdue at Indiana
Ah another Big Ten (or Twenty Four) Rivalry game….
This one is played for the “Old Oaken Bucket”
As opposed to the “keeping it green” mulch monkey recycled bucket
Those are two completely different Trophy’s

Illinois at Minnesota
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Call it a feeling…

Duke at North Carolina
This Rivalry on Tobacco Road is played for the “Victory Bell”
And it will stay with the Tar Heels until Hell Freezes Over..

Vanderbilt at Wake Forest
I’m in an “Upset” kind of a mood….
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

East Carolina at Marshall
When these two teams meet it takes me back to November 14 1970…
The day of the Marshall plane crash…..
I haven’t forgotten it; I know the fine people of Huntington haven’t either
This pick is for them….

Missouri at Kansas
This game has been a Border War since before the Civil War….
The Kansas “red legs” against the Quantrill’s Raiders….
This “game” is a Border War and it’s played for the Indian War Drum and the Lamar Hunt Trophy. I’m a James – Younger Man

Memphis at Southern Miss
This game is called the “Black and Blue Bowl”
I think the Tigers will leave this game “All Shook Up”
Thank you, Thank you very much..

UAB at Florida Atlantic
You don’t have to remind me that the Blazers won last week or that the Owls aren’t playing worth a Hoot. This one is a toss up…

New Mexico State at Louisiana Tech
I talked this week with Lasso Larry about this game….
He watched a film and the Tech Bulldog mascot happened to be “cleaning” himself
Larry said…..”I sure wish I could do that”
That’s when I said…
“That dog will bite the Hell out of you if you try that!”

Air Force at Colorado State
This Rocky Mountain Rivalry is played for the coveted “Ram-Falcon Trophy”
Aim High…..

Florida State at Florida
This bitter rivalry is called “The Sunshine Showdown”
It’s going to be ugly

Ole Miss at Mississippi State
Outside the Iron Bowl I can think of no rivalry in college football as hateful as this one
“The Egg Bowl” for the “Golden Egg Trophy”
Houston leaves Oxford with Egg on his face.

Washington State at Washington
This rivalry in the Great Northwest is played for “The Apple Cup”
Yeah I don’t care either…

Clemson at South Carolina
The Battle of the Palmetto State for the Hardee’s Trophy
Or to put it another way….
“The I Hate Your Guts Bowl”

Iowa State at Oklahoma
I bet the Sooners are glad this game isn’t played in Ames Iowa under the lights
It will still be closer than OU might think…

Notre Dame at Stanford
This “big” rivalry game is played for the “Legend’s Trophy”
Don’t feel bad, I don’t care either

Louisiana Lafayette at Arizona
I’m sorry, I am still laughing about Arizona hiring Rich Rod….

San Jose State at Fresno State
This rivalry game in the land of outrageous property taxes and illegal aliens is called..
“The Fresno State – San Jose State Rivalry Game”
How original…

UCLA at Southern California
This game in the land of Gang Violence and Media Whores is called….
“The Cross Town Showdown” and it’s played for the “Victory Bell”
Yippee Zima for Everybody!

San Diego State at UNLV
I really don’t care it’s almost time for the Iron Bowl

Alabama at Auburn
The Great Keith Jackson the voice of College Football (Amen…)
Said this…
“In College Football, there are rivalries and there are rivalries and then…
There is Alabama and Auburn”
This is the Iron Bowl and there is nothing more important.

Tulane at Hawaii
I better still be celebrating when this game comes on at Midnight on TBS….
WARRIORS electric sliding on RAINBOWS 49-10

Enjoy Your Games….
Happy Thanksgiving to you all



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One Response to College Football Week 13 Thanksgiving Picks

  1. The BamaPrincess on November 26, 2011 at 10:42 am

    I just had a random thought (which isn’t anything new) . . . do you think Coach Rod’s wife and Beth, Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife are related?? Think about it . . .

    As always – you make me laugh!!


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