Dear Texas A&M Aggies –
Well it looks like you have your mind made up and you want to join the Southeastern Conference…
Just a couple of things before we get married…
I know Collie dogs are real smart I have seen “Lassie” a thousand times..
“Go Get Gramps Lassie, Timmy’s in the well!” And off she would run….
I get it.
But this is the Southeastern Conference….
We have “live” Bulldogs, Tigers, War Eagles, Rooster, Razorback Hogs and Alligators
You need to look into getting a more “manly” mascot.
Maybe a German Shepherd
Second, but yet no less important….
The Southeastern Conference has always had the most beautiful, athletic young women in the world as cheerleaders on the sidelines and we mix some young men in the group to help them flip in the air and what not.
With that being said you Aggies need to “find” some females that want to be cheerleaders and drop the white 1950’s mechanic coverall’s as a cheerleader uniform too, it looks dumb as hell.
No, I’m serious they are really stupid looking.
Lastly what’s with the kids in the stands playing “Dress up like an American Soldier from 1940”
Listen closely….
“IF” you are in ROTC then dress in the….
“Uniform of the Day”
Ever heard of it?
That doesn’t include or anyway mean “Halloween Costume of the Day”
This isn’t “Be All You Can Be I want to play Cowboy today”
Since you are in a rush to get married, these “few” changes will help us get along better.
And before I get any angry emails from irate Texas A&M Aggie fans…
Spouting some dribble that “I attacked your traditions….”
You traded all the “traditional” games with your “traditional” rivals for money.
For the love of the almighty dollar you threw it all away.
So I figured since money was more important to you than “traditional” games I figured you would be “happy” to make a few changes to “fit in” with your soon to be in-laws.
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD