College Football Bowling Season Week 3

December 31, 2009
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

As the sun sets on the end of another year….
It’s time to wrap up the Bowl season
And the National Championship

Safety Tip: For those of you reading this on January 1st……
This column is not written or designed in 3D…..
If you are seeing double
You “may” have had too much of Grandpa’s Couch Medicine last night.

As I set here in my new Urban Myer Flip Flops and prepare to return to Satan’s Butt crack
Wait, I can’t decide if I like these things or not….
Never mind….
I decided I like them…
Or do I?

Never mind….
I will wear one flip flop around for another day and decide if I will keep them.

Before we go any further I want to say
The folks in Lubbock made a bad decision firing Coach Leach..
A Very Bad Decision

You may be wondering what New Year Resolutions I will make this year

My 2010 New Year’s Resolutions are quite simple
This year I will no longer introduce myself as “Gary Busey’s Illegitimate Son”
(But I did enjoy signing all the autographs last year)
I will no longer judge people on their height, weight and color of their eyes.
Instead I will judge people based upon whether or not they like ABBA.
(They suck by the way)
And perhaps most important of all
I intend on taking more time this year to enjoy my extensive collection of…
Herve Villechaize albums of classic Love Songs

These Urban Myer Flip Flops make me jump from subject to subject
Don’t they?
I am taking them off for good….
I changed my mind, I’m keeping them

Have a Great Year my Friends……

Enjoy!

One other thing…..
For you that doubt the soothing power of Herve Villechaize classic Love Songs
Please enjoy the following short clip
And before you ask….
“No” you may not borrow my albums

THE BOWL GAMES

Friday January 1st 2010

OUTBACK BOWL
Tampa Florida
Northwestern and Auburn
With both teams in this game being of the feline variety
I would have thought it more appropriate to have this game
Sponsored by “Tidy Cat”
Never Mind…..
WAR DAMN EAGLE 33-24

CAPITAL ONE BOWL
Orlando Florida
Penn State and LSU
Lions and Tigers O’ My!
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 24-17

KONICA MINOITA GATOR BOWL
Jacksonville Florida
West Virginia and Florida State
In Honor of Coach Bobby’s last game…
The College Football Hall of Fame will display the legendary Coach’s sideline apparel in a special exhibit honoring the Tallahassee legend.
On display will be Coach Bobby’s Vietcong “Coaches” hat, welding goggles and trousers with a forty inch zipper.
SEMI-NOLES 31-28

EDITORS NOTE: I wonder…..
Considering the title sponsor of this bowl game…
Does the winner of this game get something that looks like a Komodo Dragon?

ROSE BOWL
Pasadena California
The Ohio State and Oregon
The Granddaddy of them all…..
The Ducks can go Quack themselves…
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 28-17

ALLSTATE SUGAR BOWL
New Orleans
Florida and Cincinnati
This one will be nothing but Gators…..
Believe it…
MIGHTY GATORS 33-17

Saturday January 2nd 2010

AT&T COTTON BOWL
Dallas Texas
Oklahoma State and Ole Miss
I had some of the best days of my life in Dallas…..
Not that it really matters here…..
I had a variety of headlines for this game I wanted to use…
“The Prairie Wind touches Ole Miss is a naughty place”
“These Rebels are Nutts”
“You can’t beat Ole Miss Nutts”
But you expect higher standards from me
So I will simply say
NUTTY REBELS 34-24

AUTOZONE LIBERTY BOWL
Memphis Tennessee
East Carolina and Arkansas
The winner of this game gets a free oil change and a tire rotation.
Which is nice…
RAZORBACKS 38-17

INTERNATIONAL BOWL
Toronto Canada
South Florida and Northern Illinois
Let me tell you what I learned about Canada….
When the speed limit signs say “80”
They mean “80 Kilometers an Hour” which equates to about “50 miles per hour”
For those you that may be wondering what “80 miles an hour” is in Kilometers?
It’s 128 Kilometers an Hour, at least that’s what my ticket said.
That’s No Bull
SUNSHINE BULLS 28-24

PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL
Birmingham Alabama
Connecticut and South Carolina
Did you know when Lou Holtz says “Connecticut” he spits halfway across the room?
STEVE’S GAMECOCKS 38-17

VALERO ALAMO BOWL
San Antonio Texas
Texas Tech and Michigan State
I believe having a Mexican sponsorship for the Alamo Bowl
Is just plain wrong.
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 33-28

Monday January 4th 2010

TOSTITOS FIESTA BOWL
Glendale Arizona
Texas Christian and Boise State
There is only one thing that can be said about this game
It’s going to be a dandy
HORNED FROGS 24-23

Tuesday January 5th 2010

FEDEX ORANGE BOWL
Miami Florida
Georgia Tech and Iowa
As many close games as these two teams have played this year
Don’t you think “Nine Lives Cat Food” should be the sponsor?
Just wondering…
RAMBLING WRECK 31-17

Wednesday January 6th 2010

GMAC BOWL
Mobile Alabama
Central Michigan and Troy
For those fans and alumni of the two schools seeing the local sights before the game
I need to point out that due to a “funding” problem the statue of Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator at the Flora-Bama Lounge has yet to be completed.
I just thought you should know.
CHIPPEWA’S 33-31

Thursday January 7th 2010

THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Pasadena California
The University of Texas Longhorns and The University of Alabama Crimson Tide
This will be a battle for the ages…..
Lee, It’s two more weeks on the couch for you my friend.
CRIMSON TIDE 33-21

I hope you all have a healthy and happy New Year
Hope to see you all next year

RTR
MEB

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7 Responses to College Football Bowling Season Week 3

  1. Gilbert Geeknstein on December 31, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    Sir,
    I must disagree with your recent calculations concerning my Alma Mater, THE Georgia Institute of Technology. I ran all the matrixes through my latest computer program in my private man lair. I have come to the astute conclusion that the Rambling Wreck will prevail in this game by a total of 33.425 to 13.414. Of course, these numbers were rounded to nearest thousands, so they may not be completely accurate.

    Electrons Rule!!!!
    Gilbert “Give me a cold alcoholic barley and hops beverage” Geeknstein

    P.S. I hope you enjoy my nickname. It was bestowed upon me by a fellow fraternity brother of mine. Alpha Sigma Sigma is superbly, overwhelming!!!

  2. Kaye on December 31, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Have my eye on that FSU/WV game. Should be great and I hope you are wrong on this one
    This little ole lady will be in Pasadena! Thanks for another year Mike.

    RTR

  3. Bulldog Jim on January 1, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    BAMA Mike, Thank you for another “Wonderful Year!” In about a week or so, I will be in a state of “withdrawal from college football!” Gets bad, but I can hold out till next August just knowing that CFB Wizard will return!! God Bless!, BJ

  4. Lee on January 4, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    MEB,

    I can stand that 2-week hiatus if your prediction is correct, believe me!

    Thursday night on the NE side of San Antonio, it’ll be just me representing the Crimson Tide alongside 5 possum-eatin’, Bevo-suckin’, forever-lyin’, and exaggeratin’ Longhorn fans (two of which are supposedly esteemed members of the legal community).

    Comparatively speaking, the cumulative IQ levels between the Tide fan and Longhorns in that living room will be equal.

    This is the day you and I spoke of during the times of Dubose and Fraudchione…

    RTR Mike–God bless you and your family. Thanks for all you have done and continue to do for our nation!

    Lee

  5. Kaye on January 4, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    Add my thanks too! I am grateful.

  6. Bulldog Jim on January 8, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    SEC—-ALABAMA—-CHAMPIONS!!!!!!! BAMA Mike, I know that you enjoyed the whole atmosphere!!!!!!! Will be in touch!!!!!!! Your Pal, BJ

  7. Kaye on January 9, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    I was there!!!!!!!!!!!!! with My daughter and granddaughter. WOW what great fun
    My favorite shirt read, “I came 2,000 miles to mess with Texas”

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