Hey Yawl!
It’s your ole Buddy and Number Damn One Tennessee Volunteer Fan on the Freaking Planet..
Hootie Snitch!
Before I get to talking about my brand damn new restaurant…
I got to get something off my chest about that game with them hated Crimson Tides.
First thing….
Coach Lane was “right on” about them damn referees and not calling penalties about Alabama.
They should have called a damn penalty every play for having too many people on the defense side.
Just look at that Mount Cody!
He’s as big as three of our boys and that should count extra on the field, that’s all I’m saying…
Second thing….
That fella that writes this column ought not to be making fun of Coach Phil Fulmer.
He’s only like the greatest coach that has ever freaking lived!
And just for the record, he ain’t “Fat”, he’s got big bones.
Like the kind you find in a dinosaur….
Now let me tell you about my new restaurant, “Snitch’s” right here in Baneberry.
See, I named it after my last name so’s I won’t have me an infringement.
Like I done last time with them Hooter’s people.
If you was wondering how I got the money to get me another restaurant after that last fiasco….
Well let yawl in on a little secret.
I done and went and got me some of that “Stimulus” money.
I sure as hell did!
I sent the government this form and then this fellow called me and asked me some questions.
Like what? I knew you was a going to ask..
He says, “Have you been under some hardship the past couple of years?”
I says, “Hell yeah”. I said that cause as much as I hate to admit it Phil Fulmer had placed a hardship on all of us Volunteer fans by “working like heck” as he used to say and not getting anything done, I think it’s cause he had low blood sugar.
Then the man asked me, “Do I feel better about the way things are now?”
I said “Hell yeah I do.”
I said that cause Coach Lane ain’t keeping the thugs and trouble makers on the team and they are in every dang game.
Then he says, “So will this business benefit the community and promote the environment?” I tell him “You damn skippy it will!”
Cause let’s face it, I got the best possum wings and muskrat nuggets on the freaking planet! And you want environment? I have the best environment for a Tennessee Volunteer game day party anywhere around here.
So guess what happened then?
I got me a check in the mail!
I damn sure did!
So coming soon….
The Grand Opening of “Snitch’s” right here in beautiful Baneberry Tennessee is a coming soon!
Our motto is…
We put the “U” in “Fun”..catchy ain’t it?
It ain’t completely fixed up yet, but I am gett’n er done!
That’s my Momma (Rowena) I have been a telling you about in the picture, she’s a helping out too.
We is going to launch her campaign to get into the International Tow Truck Hall of Fame and Museum from here too.
Hell yes we are!
Yawl is all welcome to come on down and party with me and all the Volunteer fans
and if any of you ladies out there want your picture taken with me, it’s free.
Hootie – Out!