Monday Morning Quarterback…

October 26, 2009

My friends it’s been a while since we looked back at the week that was…

So let’s take a moment to look at some team news and games of the past week.

And certainly I want to answer your long awaited emails….

Much like many of you….
At this point in the season I am just thankful that I am not on any liver donor list yet.

Enjoy your update!


OLE MISS: So you want to change your fight song….
Because “some” Ole Miss student’s think the final verse of the Rebel fight song that says “And the South Shall Rise again…”
is somehow racist and should be changed?

I have a question..
When is this crap going to stop?

Are all you politically correct urchins that afraid of us Southerners?

You should be…
Because we Southerners have just about had all this force feed guilt we are going to take.

So continue with your agenda on “changing” us…

We will let you know when you are done…

CLEMSON: Who was the “Only” Prognosticator to pick the Tigers over the Hurricanes?
No need to thank me, I love you guys…

TENNESSEE: The Volunteers will not lose another game the rest of the season.
Remember you heard it here first…


EDITORS NOTE: Coach Lane I know you are knew to the “real” coaching ranks..
But stop with the crying and whining after a tough game…
Your boys played their hearts out…
You do a disservice to the players by acting like a spoiled teenager after a loss.

Blaming the referees, the wind and Barney the Purple Dinosaur…
“IF” you knew anything about the series itself
You would know….
It’s not uncommon for the dominating team to lose the game..
I remember a game we dominated, until Jay Graham broke lose and we lost 20-13
I also remember an overtime game not so long ago that the Volunteers plucked away at the last moment.

It’s called life dumbass….
Get over it….

NEBRASKA: What the Hell Cornhuskers? What the Hell…

INDIANA: You Hoosiers, lost a two touchdown lead with minutes left in the game?
You know this screwed up my average for the week, right?

TEXAS: The Longhorns didn’t look that strong against a wounded Sooner team,
but they sure put the beat down on MO this week. Their real test is this week…

FLORIDA STATE: Who was the “only” Prognosticator to pick the Seminoles over the Heels? No need to thank me, it’s how I roll….

ALABAMA: I was going to write something clever here, but Mount Cody Blocked it…

OKLAHOMA: The Sooners aren’t the same without Bradford,
but they are still a force to be reckoned with.
If you don’t think so, let’s see a show of hands of “Who” wants to play them in a bowl game?
Boise State put your hands down…

PAC 10: I am beginning to believe I couldn’t pick one of your games correctly if you were playing the cast of “Sesame Street”, which by the way is a part of the “always” tough Southern California Trojans “road” schedule.


CHATTANOOGA: Come on Moccasins, the playoffs aren’t out of reach….
It’s time to man up….

FLORIDA: I don’t know if the opposition has placed Kryptonite in the end zone to keep Superman out,
but the Gators better figure out the mystery before it’s too late.

OHIO STATE: This is a message for the few disgruntled Buckeye Fans…

Are you serious?
You want to run Coach Tressel out of town?

Have you forgotten John Cooper?

Have you forgotten the National Championship?

Have you forgotten the Buckeye Heisman Trophy winner?

Have you forgotten the dominance of the hated Maze and Blue?

You people (That’s right I said “you” people)
You should be ashamed of yourselves…

IOWA: I can’t believe it myself….
But the Eyes of the Hawk are for real
Believe it…

TEXAS CHRISTIAN: The Horned Amphibians will be undefeated this year…
Just as I predicted…

BOSIE STATE: See Texas Christian “above”
No need to thank me, your adulation embarrasses me…

NORTH ALABAMA: I am thinking “another” National Championship for the Lions…
But if the young cubs don’t rediscover their offense they will never make it…

WEST VIRGINIA: To the Mountaineer Coaches, Players and Fans…
That was a class act honoring the fallen Connecticut Football Player on Saturday
First Class…..

SOUTHERN METHODIST: My Proud Ponies are down but they are far from out….

NCAA: So where are you on the “Investigation” into Reggie Bush and the Southern California Trojans?
Are you all just too busy counting textbooks and checking on who’s fishing or what?


Q: Welcome to Candy Land!
I enjoy opening my emails with that catchy little diddy…
As you know I have become the Number One Kenny Rogers imitator in the tri-state area!
No thanks in small part to your Encouragement!
Anyway, the University of Cincinnati hasn’t answered my “offer” to sing the National Anthem at their next game.
I think it would give them “extra” luck if I were to sing and maybe throw in some
”Islands in the Stream” for good measure too!
So anyway, do you think you could contact the University of Cincinnati and see if you could get them to let me sing at the next game?
It will be glorious!
Jack McCracken – Cincinnati, Ohio

A: First, I want to go on record as “not encouraging you”,
Second I have to ask; you don’t know where I live do you?
But it case you were wondering, it’s a little hard to find town outside of Nome, Alaska.

Q: O’ Man! You did it!
I just read the article in Fox Sports that the refs for UF/Ark game were suspended.
They were the very same crew that worked (and screwed up) the LSU/UGA game.
Dude, you’ve got clout.
Hank – North Charleston, South Carolina

A: Be Thankful my Super Powers are always used for good…
Well, most of the time anyway…

Q: What wrong wit you? You no write back wit address on mascot we need change!
Military academy mascot no good, make us immigrants feel bad.
Navy goat look like honorable grandmother and Ho Chi Minn.
Army mule look like honorable grandfather, kick like him too.
Air Force falcon remind us of Hanoi bomb! Number ten very bad!
Ding Dung – San Francisco, California

A: I’m really sorry….
But every time I read “Ding Dung”
I think…
“Whose there?”

Q: Dear Mister Wizard
You picked the Delaware Blue Hens early in the season
and then you just stopped listing them. Is there a reason you stopped having them in your weekly picks?
Ben – Dover, Delaware

A: I will answer your email after I stop laughing hysterically….
“Ben Dover”….yes, I am that easily amused.

Q: Dear Mr Wizard
I been thinkin bout playin that Ga-Fla game game in Jacksonville again.
Well, I finally found a good excuse not to EVER play it down there.
If you sit and stare at that picture of a Flarda license plate what does it look like?
If you said it looks like some mans not so excited private parts, well, you’d be right.
So, we don’t want are children being exposed to any state sponsored pornography so we should never, EVER go to Flarda again!!!
Do you think maybe we could use that excuse and get the game moved to Valdosta permanantly?
Lemuel in Ludowici

A: If nothing else Lemuel, you sir are persistent.

Q: Mike, what’s the deal?
Why do you hate Phil Fulmer so much?
Jimmie – Beaumont, Texas

A: Beyond his attack on the CBS College Football Game Day Studio Hosts..
Which by the way, is still under investigation

Fat Phil Fulmer is rumored to have killed David “Grasshopper” Carradine

I am still not over it…

Have a great week…
Your College Football Week 9 Picks will be out later..


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3 Responses to Monday Morning Quarterback…

  1. Kaye on October 26, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    First Class Indeed!!!!

  2. Icheer4Bama on October 28, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    I HEART Mount Cody!


  3. Robfd1 on October 28, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    Hey Icheer4Bama, Go Irish! LOL!

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