Ladies and Gentlemen –
Unlike the MSN Fox Sports Southern California Trojan loving “writer” Lisa Horne
This article and subsequent College Football Picks will be in English, not Ebonics, Pig Latin
or any other damn guttural slang.
Her latest article was entitled….
“Who’s Gett’n Diss’d by the Polls”
I am assuming this means…
“Which college football teams are not getting any respect from the pollsters?”
Simply put…
If you look up “Dumbass” in Webster’s Dictionary
It says…
“See Lisa Horne”
EDITORS NOTE: Lisa Horne makes Hootie Snitch look like Bill Shakespeare.
Now on to this weeks Picks…
This weekend we have Homecoming at the Capstone..
The Red River Shoot Out…
And the Battle for the Jeweled Shillelagh..
Which I am assuming is better than the battle for the infected shillelagh.
That’s just a guess.
Last week we got back on track at 49 and 10 or a vastly improved 83%
Overall we moved up at 289 and 75 or a slight improvement to 79%.
We have a lot of games to cover this week, so let’s get to it.
But as a side note…
I sure wish I was in Big D at the Texas State Fair this Weekend…
It’s going to be something to see
Enjoy your games!
Wednesday October 14th
Boise State at Tulsa
Not that I have an “inside track” on this game..
I just feel real comfortable with this pick..
Trust me…
BRONCOS 28-21
Thursday October 15th
Cincinnati at South Florida
This game is going to be a dog fight from start to finish
But the Boys from Chili Town are too tough for the Bulls
BEARKATS 34-21
Delta State at North Alabama
Nobody doubts my love of Okra, fighting or fried.
But the Mighty Lions of Alabama are just that…
LIONS ROAR 33-14
Saturday October17th
Arkansas at Florida
I won’t doubt the power of the Gators or the courage of Superman again
MIGHTY GATORS 28-14
Valdosta State at Harding
What was Harding thinking scheduling this game?
Harding better stay out that cider, I believe it’s turned hard.
BLAZERS 38-10
South Carolina at Alabama
Homecoming at the Capstone
What I wouldn’t give to be in T-Town on Saturday…
I can almost smell that Dream Land BBQ from here…
CRIMSON TIDE 28-17
California at UCLA
Let’s face it…
I have been lousy as hell picking PAC 10 games lately.
So I was forced to do something drastic to change my luck
I listened to an entire Boy George CD….backwards.
GOLDEN BEARS 24-20
EDITORS NOTE: The pain I go through to satisfy some fans…
Ohio State at Purdue
The Boilermakers have the same chance of winning this game..
as Rosie O’Donnell does of being in Playboy magazine. Bovine Monthly maybe…
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 28-13
Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech
The Rambling Wreck will soon learn the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about.
FIGHTN’ TURKEYS 24-20
Arkansas – Monticello at West Alabama
I finally figured out why the Boll Weevil mascot looks so familiar…
My sister-in-law “having a bad hair day…”
BOLL WEEVILS 23-17
Missouri at Oklahoma State
I have a question for the folks in Stillwater…
Where has the “Prairie Wind” touched you?
I’m just wondering..
COWBOY UP! 31-21
Texas Tech at Nebraska
Last year the Huskers “almost” won the game against the Red Raiders
There won’t be an “almost” this Saturday…
CORNHUSKERS 34-17
Kansas at Colorado
Please stop asking….
For the last time my sister-in-law is not be the “stunt” buffalo for Colorado.
She is busy filming the latest “Messing with Sasquatch” commercials.
Before you ask..
Yes, she got the “lead” part…
JAY of the HAWK 31-14
Georgia at Vanderbilt
The Big Dawgs break the chain this weekend…
Believe it
BAD DAWGS 33-13
Carson Newman at Lenoir Rhyne
I wonder if Lenoir is related to Leann Rhynes?
That gal is a home wrecker…
Not that it matters much here
SPARKS EAGLES 38-20
Delaware State at Michigan
There is no truth to the rumor..
that Coach Rod’s comment concerning the “ugly” game with Iowa
was a reference to having to set next to his wife on the plane trip back to Ann Arbor.
Glad I could clear that up…
WOLVERINES 54-0
Kentucky at Auburn
The Cats have one of the toughest schedules in the nation
It doesn’t get any better this weekend with the starting Cat quarterback out
Believe it
WAR DAMN EAGLES 38-14
Ouachita Baptist at Southern Arkansas
I am still not really sure what an Ouachita Baptist is…
But I do know these fundamental truths about religion..
Jewish people don’t recognize Jesus as the messiah
Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as a deity
And we Baptists don’t recognize each other in Hooter’s or at the Liquor store.
FIGHTN’ BAPTISTS 43-17
Baylor at Iowa State
The cyclones can’t generate enough wind to make a decent popcorn fart.
BEARS 31-21
North Carolina State at Boston College
The Wolfpack lost to Duke last Saturday…
That’s the equivalent of a grown man being beaten up by a four year old
Enough said….
CHESTNUTT HILL EAGLES 28-14
MIT at West New England
I had no idea MIT had a football team…
I know when my wife’s cousin-in-law attended the Mississippi Institute of Technology
They had a tire treading competition and a dairy judging team.
Who knew they had a football team?
MISS TECH 23-17
EDITORS NOTE: Admit it…
When you read “Cousin-in-law”, you thought, “Next on Springer”
Virginia at Maryland
I don’t know what they have been feeding the ninja turtles lately
But they need to keep doing it…
NINJA TURTLES 24-14
Colgate at Georgetown
Honestly..
This game was just a placeholder to remind me I need to pick some toothpaste
Wake Forest at Clemson
I don’t know why….
But every time I hear “Demon Deacons”
I think of Jimmy Swaggart all liquored up jumping up and down on a motel room bed
Sorry for the visual..
DABO’S TIGERS 31-17
Texas A&M at Kansas State
I hope PETA doesn’t hear about this game…
Because the wildcats are going to get gigged this Saturday
GIG EM AGGIES 23-14
Sam Houston State at Southeastern Louisiana
Sam Houston is a Hero of the Texas Revolution…
That’s good enough for me…
SAM’S CLUB 43-10
Central Michigan at Western Michigan
I don’t know about you but until recently
I thought “Chippewa’s” referred to a fancy name for chipped beef on toast
CHIPPEWA’S 33-17
Oklahoma at Texas
Dallas Texas….
The Texas State Fair…
Big Tex…
The Midway….
The Cotton Bowl..
This is a grudge match of biblical proportions
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 31-27
Louisville at Connecticut
Cardinal fans, did I mention Tommy Tuberville would like to coach again?
You know he’s available right?
Now would be a good time to call him..
HUSKIES 28-17
Northwestern at Michigan State
Sparky has got more spark than a dyslexic electrician
Not really sure what that means, but it sounded good the first time I said it.
SPARTANS 33-27
Iowa at Wisconsin
This Big Ten matchup is played for another coveted trophy..
Aren’t they all?
“The Heartland Trophy”
This trophy kind of looks like a foot with four toes; which is weird.
HAWKEYES 24-14
UAB at Ole Miss
There is good news here for the Blazers..
They don’t have to drive very far to get their ass kicked
NUTTY REBELS 44-10
Miami (OH) at Ohio
This Battle in the Buckeye State is played for the highly coveted..
“Monkey Clump Trophy”
I think it’s sponsored by Purina
BOBCATS 24-21
Wyoming at Air Force
Last week I predicted the Cowboy upset…
This week they will just be upset….
FALCONS 33-14
Southern California at Notre Dame
This game is played each year for the Jeweled Shillelagh
But for me this game…
Is like trying to decide who to pull for in a war between Iran and Syria.
FIGHTING IRISH 33-28
Minnesota at Penn State
It’s like Joe Pa always says…
“O’ So Golden Gophers….The other white meat”
JOE’S LIONS 28-17
Houston at Tulane
The Green Wave haven’t seen a storm like this since Katrina
COUGARS 44-14
Rice at East Carolina
Rice has one of the finest aeronautical engineering programs in the country
Yeah, that won’t help them much this weekend
PIRATES 31-17
Chattanooga at Georgia Southern
The Eagles are beat up and the boys from Moccasin Bend are for real
This one may be over before it starts…
MOCCASINS 28-24
Marshall at West Virginia
Nothing is bigger this weekend in West “By God” Virginia
The Friends of Coal Bowl for the Governor’s Cup
This is serious business
MOUNTAINEERS 34-17
Colorado State at Texas Christian
I know the question that is on your minds…
Can the Rams beat the horned amphibians this weekend?
Does the Pope poop in the woods?
HORNED FROGS 27-14
Mississippi State at MTSU
The Smurf Raiders of Murfreesboro will be left Blue when this one is over.
BULLY DOGS 31-17
Hawaii at Idaho
I wish “Dog the Bounty Hunter” had his own cable channel
But sometimes I just wish for too much…
VANDALS 28-14
Brigham Young at San Diego State
This game will be close until the opening kickoff….
I’m serious it really will be…
COUGARS 38-14
Stanford at Arizona
The Cardinal is for real, but their mascot “tree” is dumb as hell.
What do you expect from California; go figure
CARDINAL 24-10
New Mexico State at Louisiana Tech
The Dogs have been screwing up my average each week like it’s their job
They better Bark up this weekend..
I mean it..
BULLDOGS 24-20
Illinois at Indiana
Another Big Ten game, another game for a “coveted” rivalry trophy
This game is played each year for the “Velvet Scooter”
I think it was originally donated by the Liberace Foundation
ILLI-NOISE 24-21
Memphis at Southern Miss
The Boys from Hattiesburg rebound this weekend against Elvis’s Tigers.
Thank you, thank you very much.
GOLDEN EAGLES 24-17
Citadel at Western Carolina
I don’t know what a Catamount is, but it sounds nasty.
BULLDOGS 28-24
Miami (FL) at Central Florida
Another Battle in the Land of Disney for supremacy of the Sunshine State
Well, more like whose Second Best actually…
HURRICANES 38-10
Navy at Southern Methodist
I wish this were an “upset special”
But it isn’t…
MIDSHIPMEN 33-24
Washington at Arizona State
The Devils from the Sun play more like the residents of Sun City
HUSKIES 24-14
Utah at UNLV
So these two Ute’s were in Vegas to see David Copperfield…
Stop me if you’ve heard this one…
UTES 38-10
Enjoy your games and have a great weekend…
More College Football news to follow…
So stay tuned…
RTR
MEB