College Football Picks Week 4

September 24, 2009
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

I know there were a lot of surprises last week…
I also I know that I missed a good deal of my picks and upset specials..

We could “What if” this all day and speculate about a myriad of outcomes.
For example..
“What if” Spartacus had a Piper Cub?
Or “What if” Caesar had a Cessna?

There is no sense in speculating any longer
It’s time we move on to this week’s challenges

But in case you were wondering…
Last Week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was
47 and 15 or a subpar 76% and currently for the season we are 160 and 34 or 82%.

Enjoy your games!

THE GAMES

Thursday September 24th

Ole Miss at South Carolina
This game will be a lot closer than people might think….
It all depends if Coach Steve’s Defense decides to show up…
REBELS 27-23

Friday September 25th

Missouri at Nevada
This epic struggle is the equivalent of a “Dance Off” between
Danny Terrio and Adrian Zmed….
Yes, it’s that serious
MO’S TIGERS 38-17

Saturday September 26th

Florida at Kentucky
I was awfully close to calling this one an upset special….
MIGHTY GATORS 28-24

Washington State at Southern California
I would rather stare at an Ant Farm for three hours than watch this game
TROJAN$ 134-0

EDITORS NOTE: Coach Pete how’s that Dog Bite?

Arkansas at Alabama
A powerful Razorback Offense against a Daunting Tide Defense
It should be a good one…
CRIMSON TIDE 23-21

Newberry at Carson Newman
I am more of a Mayberry man myself…
SPARKS EAGLES 33-20

Illinois at Ohio State
I got several emails this past week from Fighting Illini fans
telling me they are “Going to bring the Illini – noise” down on the Buckeyes
Good Luck with that….
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 34-17

Miami at Virginia Tech
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!
The Canes get Wang’d in Blacksburg…
Believe it…
HOKIES 24-23

Wofford at Chattanooga
You want to know what is good for a pesky cough?
A good swift kick in the butt with a pair of…
MOCCASINS 28-23

LSU at Mississippi State
This game features Cats and Dogs…..
Now there is a football tussle worth watching….
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 33-17

Arizona State at Georgia
The Devils from the Sun are used to the Heat..
But not the Humidity….
HOW BOUT THEM DAWGS 38-24

North Carolina at Georgia Tech
If you ever go to a Tech game..
and don’t take the time to go to the Varsity…
For one of the world’s greatest chili dogs and an order of hand cut French fries..
Then you are clearly a damn communist.
YELLOW JACKETS 34-17

Texas Christian at Clemson
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!
The Tigers will play their hearts out on Saturday
Believe it….
DABO’S TIGERS 24-21

South Florida at Florida State
The Bulls lost their starting quarterback last week for the season..
Not that it would make any difference here…
SEMINOLES 43-17

Wartburg at Loras College
Kids with warts tussle with some youngsters with a topical skin fungus…
This will be disgusting….
WARTS 28-10

Ball State at Auburn
Didn’t David Letterman graduate from Ball State?
Yeah, that really won’t matter here…
WAR DAMN EAGLE 54-10

North Alabama at Harding
The Lions of Florence are roaring once again…
ROARING LIONS 33-23

Army at Iowa State
Tornado’s and Divorces have a lot in common in Iowa…
In the end some guy always loses a trailer..
CYCLONES 24-17

Minnesota at Northwestern
How did the people of Minnesota determine that their Gopher was “Golden”?
How did the conversation start?
Did it go something like this…
“Dude, I can’t believe that thing got out of the road in time..
Man, that Gopher is Golden”
I still don’t get it…
O’ So GOLDEN GOPHERS 28-24

Franklin Marshall at Juniata
Frank should know better than to tussle with Juanita when she is PM-sing.
JUANITA 33-14

Wake Forest at Boston College
This Game could easily be entitled “The Forrest Gump” game
Because much like a box of chocolates…
You never know what you are going to get in this contest
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 23-17

Georgia Southern at Elon
By the time this one is over that little Cuban kid will know all the words too
“Statesboro Blues”
EAGLES 31-23

Rutgers at Maryland
This game will be like watching two old people fight…
At First it’s kind of funny…
Then it’s just sad…
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 21-17

West Alabama at Valdosta State
Honestly, this one had me at “Alabama”
TIGERS 31-28

Stony Brook at Massachusetts
I don’t really care who wins this game…
But I will tell you this…
If you are looking for a quick getaway or weekend vacation
There is no better place to stay than with the fine folks of the Stony Brook Lodge and Chalets
Located in scenic Gatlinburg.
Give Ed and Pam a call
And tell them Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator sent you.
You will be glad you did..
http://stonybrooklodging.com/

Maine at Syracuse
If you don’t think the Syracuse mascot is scary..
Then you haven’t seen the “new” Otto the Orange.
It looks like Phil Fulmer after a three day Krispy Kreme Bear Claw binge.
OTTO the ORANGE 24-14

Arizona at Oregon State
Much like Jerry Mathers…
I still believe in the Power of the Beaver
BEAVERS 38-27

EDITORS NOTE: Admit it…
You thought I was going to say something nasty here, didn’t you?
Shame on you, this is a family column.

Michigan State at Wisconsin
Cue the annoying “Jump Around” music…..
THE POWER OF VELVEETA 28-24

Ohio at Tennessee
I have Safety Tip
For the folks from Ohio visiting OBKnoxville this weekend for the game.
The term “Fast Food” has an entirely different meaning in Volunteer Country.
That term usually refers to someone that just hit a deer at 75 miles an hour.
VOWELS 44-10

Southern Miss at Kansas
Remember the part in “Wizard of Oz” were the Flying Monkeys tore apart the Scarecrow?
Yeah, this game will be a lot like that…
GOLDEN EAGLES 33-28

Rhode Island at Connecticut
I cannot in good conscience…
Pull for any team whose entire existence is predicated on a lie.
Rhode Island is not an Island.
Enough said….
HUSKIES 34-0

Indiana at Michigan
Hoosier Daddy?
WOLVERINES 38-17

Fresno State at Cincinnati
Despite the fact I haven’t received any Gold Star or Sky Line Chili from the Queen City
I will still do the right thing here…
But I’m not happy
BEARKATS 33-17

San Diego State at Air Force
Didn’t the Air Force bomb the ancient Aztecs during World War II?
Don’t laugh..
Have you read a High School History Book lately?
FALCONS 31-13

Tennessee Tech at Kansas State
You want to know what a fun word is to say?
“Chimichanga”
It’s fun to say, even when you’re alone
Never mind…
WILDCATS 34-10

EDITORS NOTE: You are saying it to yourself right now..
Aren’t you?

UTEP at Texas
That rumbling sound the Miners hear isn’t the mine collapsing
It’s a Stampede…
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 38-10

California at Oregon
The Quacks will fall flat….
Believe that….
Yakty Yak don’t talk back
Take your money and buy a cat
O.K. I need to stop…
GOLDEN BEARS 34-31

Central Florida at East Carolina
The Golden Knights of UCF…
Wait a minute…
Why does everything have to be “Golden”?
We have “Golden” Gophers, Bears, Eagles and Hurricanes in this week’s edition.
That all sounds horribly racist to me…
PIRATES 31-14

Pittsburgh at North Carolina State
Did you ever notice when Lou Holtz says “Pittsburgh Panthers”
He sounds like Sylvester the Cat?
Maybe it’s just me…
PANTHERS 24-17

Akron at Central Michigan
I was going to make a joke about “Zip up that Chippewa”
But it’s too early in the morning for that…
CHIPPEWA’S 34-20

Western Kentucky at Navy
If Navy loses this game I am writing a nasty letter to Captain Crunch
MIDSHIPMEN 34-23

Idaho at Northern Illinois
I have a question for the Idaho fans…
Did Mr. Potato Head ever get married?
Or did he run off with that skanky Susie Squash?
Just wondering….
HUSKIES 38-14

Colorado State at Brigham Young
Are the Cougars over their skinning by the Seminoles?
You bet they are…
COUGARS 28-17

Grambling State at Oklahoma State
This game will be uglier than Janet Reno Pole Dancing
Sorry for the visual…
COWBOY UP! 44-0

Boise State at Bowling Green
The Falcons have the same odds of winning this game..
As Siegfried and Roy releasing a book on the “Joy of Heterosexuality”
BRONCOS 38-10

U La La at Nebraska
This game is going to get uglier than an orangutan’s arm pit
CORNHUSKERS 54-10

North Carolina Central at Duke
There is a great deal of excitement on the Blue Devil campus!
After the last Blue Devil victory
There were three students attempting to tear down the goal posts…
As I understand it, they are still trying
Which is sad..
BLUE DEVILS 27-17

Sam Houston State at Tulsa
The Hero of San Jacinto is taken down by a Golden Hurricane…
That sounded horribly nasty…
Sorry…
GOLDEN HURRICANES 28-24

Northwestern State at Baylor
I thought creampuff season was over?
BEARS 38-10

UAB at Texas A&M
If the Blazers football team was a smell it would be Yak sweat
GIG EM’ AGGIES 44-0

Louisville at Utah
Both of these teams have a lot of Ute on each side of the ball.
It really boils down to which of the Ute wants it more
TWO UTES 33-31

Iowa at Penn State
I have on good authority…
That Joe Pa intends to harness the power of the sun through his reading glasses…
and roast the Hawkeyes
I don’t know if that is legal but it sure will be fun to watch
JOE PA’S LIONS 27-21

Notre Dame at Purdue
Slightly off the subject…
What is suppose to be so “magically delicious” about Lucky Charms?
If you want a breakfast cereal with some “magic” in it
I suggest you eat a bowl of raisin bran while drinking a cup of coffee
You will “magically” have the opportunity to read the Atlanta phone book
Not that it matters here
FIGHTN’ IRISH 34-14

Marshall at Memphis
Call me crazy if you want too…
It wouldn’t be anything I haven’t already heard from Mental Health professionals
WE ARE MARSHALL 24-21

Vanderbilt at Rice
What would this game be like…
If SAT scores could equate to points on the scoreboard?
COMMODORES 141,267,875 – 140,762,921

Washington at Stanford
Dogs pee on Trees…
It’s how they roll….
HUSKIES 27-21

Texas Tech at Houston
Defense? We don’t need no stinking Defense….
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 54-48

Hootie Snitch will have his Gator – Tennessee Volunteer game wrap-up tomorrow
So stay tuned
Enjoy your games
RTR
MEB

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6 Responses to College Football Picks Week 4

  1. Matt H. on September 24, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Mike, dont worry about last week. You still made better calls last weekend than my Magic 8-ball, and, thats saying something.

  2. MEB on September 24, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Thanks Matt, I need all the encouragement I can get after last weekend.

    GEAUX Tigers

    RTR
    MEB

  3. The BamaPrincess on September 24, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Yes, I admit it – I was saying chimichanga to myself. You did the Two-Utes thing again for Kaye, didn’t you!!! Admit it!!!

    Still in the number one spot on my favorite sports column to read (is spite of the Janet Reno pole visual you caused.)!!!!

    ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!

    The BamaPrincess

  4. MEB on September 24, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    Yes…Yes I did that for Miss Kaye

    But that is a fun word isn’t ?

    ROLL TIDE Bama Princess!

    MEB

  5. Kaye on September 25, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    I am still laughing!

  6. MEB on September 25, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Mission accomplished Miss Kaye!

    Glad you enjoyed it!

    RTR
    MEB

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