Day of the Dog

September 21, 2009

Some Dogs bark is worse than their bite….
But not these Dogs….

This past Saturday was certainly the Day of the Dog….
There were Bulldogs and Huskies…..
They came from Georgia, Mississippi State and Northern Illinois and Washington

On this day their bite was way worse than their bark….

The Bulldogs of Georgia hunkered down and treated Arkansas like a far sighted geriatric Mail carrier….

Bully from Mississippi State chewed the Commodores like a new dog toy….

The Huskies from Northern Illinois turned Purdue Pete into a crying four year old

And what did the Huskies from Washington do?
The week before they snapped the nation’s longest losing streak….
This past Saturday the Mighty Huskies took down the national sports media’s darling.

Congratulations to the Big Dogs….
We won’t forget that day anytime soon….

Now let’s take a look at the rest of the action that took place on Saturday

ARMY: O.K, I pick you to win and you lose…..
I pick you to lose and you win…
If this is some kind of Physiological ploy to confuse me
I want you to know, it’s working.

SOUTHERN METHODIST: Damn it Ponies, you almost had them….

SOUTHERN MISS: Much like the rest of the Golden Eagle Fans…
I want to thank you for scaring the crap out of me Saturday…
Great win over a tough ACC opponent..

TENNESSEE: All that bragging makes you feel pretty stupid about now
Doesn’t it?

VIRGINIA TECH: When the going gets tough in Blacksburg..
The Hokies will throw the two biggest Wang’s in college football at you.
Which despite the fact I am talking about the Wang brothers that play defense for the Hokies….
That just sounded nasty..

UTAH: Many of my Utah faithful have asked me “What happened on Saturday?”
Here is your answer…
With a number of senior leadership graduating last season they have too much Ute on the current team to have overcome the pesky quackers.

NAVY: Damn it….

OHIO STATE: My Buckeye faithful….
I have a question for you…
In your game with U$C last week, did you allow PAC 10 referees to officiate the game?
The reason I ask…
I have photographic proof that the Trojan$ didn’t score their touchdown on fourth and goal
More on this later

BRIGHAM YOUNG: It looked like Cinderella lost her shoes…

KENTUCKY: Congratulations on winning the Commonwealth Cup
You Big Cats deserved it…

CINCINNATI: I would have picked you BearKat’s this past Saturday….
But as we already discussed last week
I never got my shipment of Gold Star or Sky Line Chili…
Yes, it’s like that

BAYLOR: Please see “Navy”

NOTRE DAME: Told you so….

FLORIDA STATE: In case you didn’t know…
The Seminoles went into Saturday’s game with an unfair advantage
Coach Bobby not only read Brigham Young’s play book
He knew the man…

ARKANSAS: This is for the Razorback quarterback…
Listen Ryan, I know you came from Michigan and football up there is a “big deal”
But down here, don’t run your mouth about southern boys before you play them..
If you need a reference, please see “Tennessee” above.

WASHINGTON: I want to thank my Huskies Fans for writing me in various stages of inebriation on Saturday night, but let’s not forget that I did invoke the name of the Original Dog Father, Coach Don James in this weeks picks….
No need to thank me…

U$C: In case all you Trojans were wondering…
We are not laughing with you..
We are laughing AT you…

Ohio State lost a close battle to the Trojan$ and they fell out of the top ten….
The University of the Second coming lost to an unranked team..
But I am betting they won’t fall as far as Ohio State did losing to a ranked team…
And we are supposed to believe this is “unbiased”?


Q: Awesome Pick Mike!
I couldn’t believe it when you picked the Cane’s to beat the Yellow Jacks of Georgia Tech!
We hadn’t beaten them in 4 years!
How did you do it?
Thanks again!
Troy – Fort Lauderdale, Florida

A: It’s a blessing and a curse Troy.

Q: Sir, I’m currently in need of some players.
I lost my Smelley, Succup combo and realllllly need a replacement.
I am impressed with the Green, Cox combo incorporated by my contemporaries at UGA.
Think you could get me a Lotta, Butts or maybe a Smelly, Finger combo?
Steve Spurrier

A: Coach, what did I tell you about contacting me on this forum?
Just call me…

Q: Dear Sir –
We hope with the recent passing of our great President of the NCAA, Myles Brand that you feel some remorse over the many things you have written on your website concerning this fine man.
With his passing we hope that we can move past the rhetoric together and towards real reform in collegiate athletics.
We here at the NCAA will miss President Myles Brand and his leadership but we know that he is looking down on the staff of the NCAA and depending on all of us to continue his work in college athletics.
Sincerely – The NCAA Enforcement Staff, Indianapolis, Indiana

A: Didn’t you mean to say “he is looking up”….
The only reason I mention it..
Is because I hope you all had the good sense to bury him in an asbestos suit.
I have a sneaking suspicion he is going to need it.

Q: Dude! What the Hell!
You picked Notre Dame over the Spartans!
We hadn’t beaten them at home since 1993!
We are still partying in South Bend!
How’d you do it?
Sean – South Bend, Indiana

A: Call it the luck of the Irish..

Q: Dear Sir,
Just a short letter to inform you that MYLES DIDN’T GET ME!

Pete Carroll
Supreme Commander of Football
University of $outhern California

A: I can’t say this letter is a surprise..

Q: Dear Mr Wizard,
I have been reading up on that female runner everybody’s been talking about.
See, she’ supposed to be a cross between a guy and a girl.
I saw a picture of her and she does kinda look like a girl.
But, when you hear her talk she sounds like a guy.
They said she’s got some of them male parts of her…
I think they call ‘em Tostitos or something that aint dropped yet.
Kinda like a dawg puppy that aint quite grown up yet.
You know, after a few months their Tostitos will drop and everything like that.
Well, I got to lookin’ at some of them Tennessee Volunteers cheerleaders on the TV the other day and got to thinkin that boy, some of them girls look like they could be that runner girls sister!! Or brother!!
Do you thank them Tennessee Volunteers have been recruitin’ cheerleaders from foreign countries?
Is that even legal?
I think that I’m going to write the NCAAP and tell that Mr Myles Brand that he needs to be a lookin’ up some of them girls skirts to make sure they are the right S – E – X to be doin’ some cheerin.
Besides, my buddy Homer Philpot said that Mr Lane Kiffin was using a couple of them girls in their games as receivers and that just aint fair!!
Lenny in Ludowici

A: You’ve been drinking again, haven’t you Lenny?

More later on in the week…
So stay tuned…


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7 Responses to Day of the Dog

  1. MrEO on September 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    As always Mike enjoy your commentary. Now speaking as an alum for your hated team, and as alum I mean that I went there for an actual degree to get myself away from there, you have to give the VOWELS credit for not getting beaten into biblical proportions as you predicted. The guys and gals at the site look forward to your next set of predictions.

  2. MEB on September 21, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    My Friend it is good to hear from you

    The Vowels represented themselves well, no doubt about it.
    Even if I hate to admit it….

    Thank you for the kind comments too
    How Bout them Oak Ridge Wildcats?


  3. The BamaPrincess on September 22, 2009 at 11:20 pm


    I will write HAHAHAHAHA more when I can quit hahahahahahahahahahahah

    The BamaPrincess

    (whatever you’re drinking – I NEED some!)

  4. The BamaPrincess on September 22, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    PS – speaking of dogs, I was doing Snoopy’s dance all weekend!!!!

  5. MEB on September 23, 2009 at 4:06 am

    Thank you so very much Bama Princess!

    I really appreciate it!

  6. Kaye on September 23, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    You know “too many ute” will slow down a team
    (unless one of you is named Trent Richardson)

    poor Pete. he just had too many players out with injuries

  7. MEB on September 23, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Miss Kaye –

    That CRACKED me Up!

    Thank you!

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