College Football Picks Week 3

September 17, 2009
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

There won’t be any catchy picks through interpretive dance this week
It’s time to buckle down….
Last Week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator recorded a 50 and 12 for Week 2 of the college football picks or a rather substandard 80%.
That leaves us at 113 and 19 or 86% for the 2009 college football season.

But before we get to the games many of you have sent me emails about Myles Brand the President of the NCAA dying yesterday. Some have suggested that I should “feel” bad about the things I have written about him and a few even mentioned that he did “some good things” for college athletics.

Let me simply say this….
“Sic Semper Tyrannis”

Now on to this Weeks Picks..

Enjoy!

COACHES QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“It’s not the will to win that matters….everyone has that.
It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.”
Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant

THE GAMES

Thursday September 17th

Georgia Tech at Miami
This game will be too close to call..
But it’s important too remember this time of the year
Is Hurricane Season…
HURRICANES 31-28

Friday September 18th

Boise State at Fresno State
If the Bronco’s aren’t careful and I mean really careful….
They will find themselves with an “L” in this one
BRONCO’S 24-23

Saturday September 19th

Furman at Missouri
Don’t get me wrong….
I used to love the sideshows at the carnival
And I think it’s wonderful…
That a Furry Man made enough money as a Carney to purchase his own college
But I am a Three Stooges Fan
MO’S TIGERS 33-17

EDITORS NOTE: I wonder what the Yak Woman did with her money.

Chattanooga at Presbyterian
In this contest we have Racist Shoes and Blue Ho’s….
I really like the fact…
There is something here to offend almost everyone
RACIST SHOE U 24-17

EDITORS NOTE: I wonder….
If “tailgating” with Blue Ho’s has an entirely different meaning?
Never mind..

Northwestern at Syracuse
Sooner or Later “Otto the Orange” will win a game….
In this case it will be “Later”…
WILDCATS 23-17

Florida Atlantic at South Carolina
Of course the Atlantic Ocean borders the east coast of Florida
But do they have to constantly remind us of it?
GAMECOCKS 34-14

Ohio State at Toledo
This is a dangerous game for the Mighty Buckeyes…
The Rockets are coming off an emotional thrashing of Colorado
And the Buckeyes will have to rebound.
BUCKEYES 33-24

Temple at Penn State
I wasn’t aware they still played football at Temple?
Doesn’t matter…
JOE PA’S LIONS 44-0

Lycoming at Susquehanna
Since Susquehanna beat Juniata last weekend with her flip-flops…
I suspect this pesky foot fungus won’t stand a chance..
SUSQUEHANNA 31-10

California at Minnesota
The O’ So Golden Bears are well conditioned, fast and prepared…
And the O’ So very Golden Gophers…
Aren’t….
GOLDEN BEARS 33-13

East Carolina at North Carolina
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!
East beats West in this one…
PIRATES 23-17

Duke at Kansas
I was going to watch this game…
But there is a T.J. Hooker mini-marathon on TV Land..
Sorry…
JAYHAWKS 20-14

Ursinus at Juniata
Before you even ask….
I have no idea why a urinary infection wants to attack Ole Juniata…
Thank God for antibiotics..
JUNIATA 20-17

Louisville at Kentucky
This game is entitled: The Battle for the Bluegrass….
This game has it all folks…
Fussing, fighting, bragging and hard feelings…
and that’s just in the parking lot before the game…
WILDCATS 34-31

Eastern Michigan at Michigan
There is “No” truth to the rumor
That a “Fly Over” at the Big House before the National Anthem is played…
Will include Coach Rod’s wife circling the stadium on her broom
I hope that cleared up any misunderstanding..
WOLVERINES 34-17

Boston College at Clemson
These Birds will get plucked in Death Valley…
Believe it…
DABO’S TIGERS 28-24

Wofford at Wisconsin
Why would you name your college after a respiratory illness?
What’s next “Mucus Plug Tech”?
That’s just disgusting..
CHEESE WHIZ 34-3

Defiance at Trine
“I don’t have trine to be defiant…”.
Thought that one up all by myself..
WHAT TRINE IS IT? 22-17

Ball State at Army
What do the coaches at West Point..
Make the football players watch to motivate them before a game…
“Steel Magnolias”?
CARDINALS 28-17

Northern Illinois at Purdue
I would tune into this game…
But ESPN U has a “live” telecast of the East Timor National “Jenga” Championships
BOILERMAKERS 31-17

North Texas at Alabama
Even though Denton Texas is a long way from the Coast…
The Mean Green is about to learn the meaning of…
High Tide..
CRIMSON TIDE 34-17

Tennessee at Florida
Back in the spring Coach Lane Kiffin accused Urban Myer of cheating….
Then he made unflattering remarks about the people of Florida…
Then he said……
He looked forward to singing Rocky Top all night long after they beat Florida, it will be a Blast!
This is going to be an ass whipping of Biblical proportions…
MIGHTY GATORS 43-10

EDITORS NOTE: If you look up “Stupid to the Bone” in Webster’s Dictionary
It says, “See Lane Kiffin”

Tulsa at Oklahoma
This game as all the ingredients of an “Upset Special”
It will be that close…
BRAD-LESS SOONERS 28-24

Haskell Indian Nations University at MacMurray College
The Great Jim Thorpe began his athletic career at Haskell…
They made a return to the college football ranks last year..
And that is good enough for me..
MIGHTY HASKELL 21-17

Southern California at Washington
In the name of the Original Dog Father; Coach Don James…
I will tell you…
The Huskies will keep this one closer than you think…
TROJAN$ 33-24

Nebraska at Virginia Tech
UPSET SPECIAL !!!
No Hokey, No Pokey…
Believe it….
HUSKERS 27-24

Utah at Oregon
This reminds me of a joke…
“So, these two Ute’s were walking down the street….”
Stop me if you’ve heard it..
TWO UTES 38-28

Michigan State at Notre Dame
There isn’t a spark left in the Spartans
Fact…
FIGHTN’ IRISH 38-17

Wyoming at Colorado
Call it an “Upset Special” if you want too…
I call it…
COWBOY UP! 34-31

MTSU at Maryland
I am not completely sure about this..
But I believe that “MTSU” is Latin for…
NINJA TURTLES 38-14

Indiana at Akron
What do we have in this game: Zips and Hoosiers?
I don’t know which sounds worse…
“Hoosier Zip?”
Or…
“Zip your Hoosier”
I think it’s the later..
HOOSIERS 23-21

Virginia at Southern Miss
For the folks from Charlottesville..
This game is what I affectionately refer to as…
An old fashioned South Mississippi ass whipping
Enjoy…
GOLDEN EAGLES 31-10

Alcorn State at Central Michigan
Do you really think I would go against Coach Jones and the Chippewa’s?
Not a chance…
CHIPPEWA’S 27-14

Arizona at Iowa
This one will be come down to who has the football, last
HAWKEYES 23-21

Florida International at Rutgers
Why is this university so “International”?
Is it located near the airport?
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 31-17

Connecticut at Baylor
The Boys from Waco are for Real…..
Believe it…
BEARS 24-14

Southern Methodist at Washington State
I know this is Conference USA against the “all powerful” PAC 10
So I have two words for you….
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 33-28

Garner Webb at North Carolina State
I thought Mr. and Mrs. Webb raised their boy “Garner” to be smarter than that.
He should know better than to tangle with a pack of wolves.
WOLFPACK 44-10

Navy at Pittsburgh
UPSET SPECIAL!
Yes, I am serious….
MIDSHIPMEN 28-24

Elon at Wake Forest
That little Cuban boy is going to get the hell beat out him…
DEMON DEACONS 34-17

Cincinnati at Oregon State
This game is going to be a tussle from start to finish…
Believe it…
BEAVERS 34-31

Rice at Oklahoma State
The Cowboys are mad as Hell….
And Rice has a wonderful Computer Science Library…
Do the math…
COWBOYS 44-17

U La La at LSU
The Cajuns will be Ragin’….
But this is home to Mike the Tiger….
Billy Cannon and the Chinese Bandits…
And in case you didn’t know…
They call it “Death Valley” for a reason…
FIGHTN’ TIGERS 33-17

Texas State at Texas Christian
If this was a boxing match the referee’s would stop the game after they heard
“And the home of the Brave….”
HORNED FROGS 146-0

Florida State at Brigham Young
The folks from the Land of Donny and Marie
Will have a rude welcome in store for Coach Bobby and the Seminoles
COUGARS 27-20

Charleston Southern at South Florida
It’s the second trip this year to Florida for the Boys from Charleston
unfortunately for them…..
Same result
NO BULL 44-10

Mississippi State at Vanderbilt
The Dawgs and Dores will battle it out in the Music City
This one will be close…..
COMMODORES 20-18

UNC Pembroke at Carson Newman
Pembroke?
Aren’t those the people that market smoked meat and cheese at Christmas?
I can’t have them competing against my “newest” sponsor.
Just remember, when you think about canned meat and cheese..
Think “Yoder’s”
The Amish Meat and Cheese Company
SPARKS EAGLES 38-10

Utah State at Texas A&M
In this battle between Aggies…
I have to go with my favorite Agro-Americans…
I am just keeping it real
GIG EM AGGIES 33-10

Bowling Green at Marshall
I watched my favorite college football movie last night
“WE ARE MARSHALL”
Enough said…
THUNDERING HERD 28-24

Iowa State at Kent State
Every time I hear “Golden Flashes”…
I think of the cast from “Golden Girls” flashing the audience
I just threw up a little bit when I was typing this…
CYCLONES 23-20

Nicholls State at Louisiana Tech
The Folks from State are going to feel..
Like they got hit with a bag of Nickels by the time this one is over.
BULLDOGS 43-10

Southeastern Louisiana at Ole Miss
This game is going to be uglier than Hillary Clinton in a bikini
Sorry for the disturbing visual
REBELS 48-0

Air Force at New Mexico
Doesn’t the Air Force have a bombing range in New Mexico?
I thought so…
FALCONS 33-28

Georgia at Arkansas
This contest is between the Hawgs and Dawgs…
Isn’t that a German Ice Cream?
Never mind…
This game could go either way..
DAWGS 33-31

West Georgia at North Alabama
We are a long way from the Championship Game for this Division…
But I believe there will be another National Championship coming to Florence
MIGHTY LIONS 28-17

West Virginia at Auburn
Save a Couch….
Beat the Mountaineers…
WAR DAMN EAGLE 34-21

Texas Tech at Texas
The folks in burnt orange have waited a whole year for this game
And it’s like I always say..
“Revenge is best served in your home stadium”
LONGHORNS 38-17

Tennessee Martin at Memphis
I don’t know what Martin was thinking when he scheduled this game..
He must have been liquored up
TIGERS 24-16

San Jose State at Stanford
I had every intention of watching this game….
That was until I heard
There is a “Billy Jack” marathon on Turner Classic Movies
They are showing the entire Billy Jack trilogy…
A man has to have his priorities in order
CARDINAL 6-5

Louisiana Monroe at Arizona State
Unfortunately this game comes on after the San Jose State – Stanford game
And that will conflict with me watching the second movie in the “Billy Jack” trilogy
Sorry…
DEVILS of the SUN 41-17

Kansas State at UCLA
Hello? Trilogy as in the number three
I can’t watch this game and miss the last “Billy Jack” movie
It just wouldn’t be right….
BRUINS 27-17

Hootie Snitch will have his “Gator Special” out tomorrow…
So stay tuned..

Enjoy your games….

RTR
MEB

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11 Responses to College Football Picks Week 3

  1. Bulldog Jim on September 17, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    BAMA MIKE, again, good job! I hope all is well with you! Your pal, BJ

  2. Kaye on September 17, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    I will forever laugh when I read (or hear) Two Utes

    I’m ROFL

    Wondering how long Kiffin will be in Knoxville

  3. jevusmc on September 18, 2009 at 10:18 am

    Mike,

    You Alabama redneck, How could you pick Kentucky over Louisville? Is ya Inorant?

    Also it looks like those “Surfer Dudes” from cali put an arse whoppin’ on the Vols!

    Get Some

    JEVUSMC @ Parris Island

  4. MEB on September 18, 2009 at 10:42 am

    My Friend You have been greatly missed…

    Stay tuned… I Might be wrong about your Cardinals
    RTR
    MEB

  5. MEB on September 18, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Miss Kaye –

    As long as you and I get a good laugh out of it…
    I will continue to post it…
    That never gets old for me…
    RTR
    MEB

  6. MEB on September 18, 2009 at 10:44 am

    Thank you Bulldog Jim –

    My friend I hope I am “wrong” about your game this weekend..

    RTR
    MEB

  7. MissMay4UK on September 18, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    My wonderful Wizard…it’s so good to catch up with you again. Once again, your wisdom shines with the two most accurate predictions of all: the Cats swatting the Cards off their perch and Gators biting the Vols in the…well, you know…

  8. Christie on September 19, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Mike! I hope you are right! We are watching the Tigers — and sad that you aren’t here with us!

  9. MEB on September 19, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    MISS YOU ALL!
    WISH I WAS THERE TOO!
    GO TIGERS!
    RTR
    MEB

  10. Lee on September 20, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Mike,

    What a great college football weekend! Too bad Myles Brand wasn’t around to witness this one–my neighbor said the autopsy revealed the cause of death was due to “choking on Pete Carroll’s appendage”.
    RTR

    Lee

  11. MEB on September 20, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    Lee –

    I believe you are closer to the truth than the NCAA cares to admit on this one!

    RTR
    MEB

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