Hootie’s Corner

August 26, 2009
By

Hey Yawl, It’s me again!
Hootie Snitch, the Number One Tennessee Vol Fan on the Planet!
I am right here in the heart of Vol Country, Baneberry Tennessee!

Sorry I haven’t written lately….
As you all know I am in the Musical production at Dollywood called….
“Who Let the Clogs Out…”

That show has taken off like a fresh bought Roman Candle!
I ain’t kiddin neither!
When I go down to the beauty parlor to get my mullet dyed, everybody knows my name!

But fame does have its draw backs…

You guessed it….
I done went and got me a stalker…
And let me tell you….

That gal is crazy as a June bug in a mayonnaise jar….

That’s her getting arrested….

Attack McCain Sticker

So with all the attention….
I thought it best to say good-bye to the Peyton Manning Trailer Park and Casa Da Hootie…
And I moved into what they call a “gated” community….

It’s kind of exclusive….
It’s only for what they call “upscale Tennessee Vol Fans”…

Here is a picture from the brochure them people sent me from the gated community..
It’s nice ain’t it?

TrailerParkUT

Ladies, if you ins is in the neighborhood feel free to stop by the new and improved Casa Da Hootie….
All except you know who, the judge told you to restrain yourself!

But that ain’t what I want to catch you up on right now…
I got a surprise for yawl!
I don’t know if yawl remembers….
But a sometime back I talked to them folks from McDonalds about an idea I had…
“The McMuskrat” sandwich…and the “McPossum” burger….

Well them smart ass people laughed me out of the room…
But it’s just like my momma always told us…
They laughed at the Righteous brothers too when they started out..
Then before you know it they was singing and flying everywhere…

So I got to thinking….
And Wham O!
It Hit Me!

So I went and rented me a previously owned single wide close to town and I am a opening…
You ready?
HOOT-R’s
Get it? It’s like that other place, but it uses my name too!

I am going to have the grand opening….
Just in time for the first Tennessee Volunteer football game on the season!
GO VOLS!

I am going to have the greatest football coach in the whole damn world there too!
You guessed it Coach Phil Fulmer!

PHIL001

Not really sure why Coach Phil is a eattin that Twinkie fellow…
But I am a guessing he must be hungry…
Anyway…

Guess who else is going to be at the Grand Opening?
Just for you men out there…
Last years Homecoming Queen from the University of Tennessee
Miss Claudette Strunk!
GO VOLS!
I even got a picture of her as we was setting up the restaurant…

HootiesGirl

She is hotter than a jalapeño pepper ain’t she?

I got everything you want for a Tennessee Volunteer Party!

By the way…No Gators allowed.

So come on down to HOOT-R’s…
Look for the sign next to the single wide just outside of Baneberry Tennessee on Leadmine Road…

Don’t be afraid to ask for my autograph…It’s free.

Hootie – Out!

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3 Responses to Hootie’s Corner

  1. Lenny in Ludowici on August 26, 2009 at 7:41 am

    Don’t tell Hootie, but that Strunk girl looks purty hot. Is she betrothed or spoken for? Mmmmm-mmmmm, that’s a lotta lovin’ right there.

  2. MEB on August 26, 2009 at 9:05 am

    Lenny –
    Let me guess….
    You wear glasses..
    But for whatever reason…
    You weren’t wearing them this morning when you read Hootie’s update…

    Just a guess..

    RTR
    MEB

  3. Lenny in Ludowici on September 1, 2009 at 4:31 am

    Well bless yore heart sir!!! You really are a Wizard!!! You must have that Extraneous Seasonal Protection or something. You know, that ESP stuff.

    I was just sittin’ in the livin room of my trailer house in my drawers right after I woke up. Had a really bad hangover too. Can you guess how many Pabst Blue Ribbons I had? I’ll give ya a hint. It was a bunch!!!

    Go DAWGS!!!

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