Thursday Gridiron News

May 22, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen –

It has been a hectic week in college football since the CFB Wizard experienced some technical difficulties.

So, let’s catch up on the latest college football news from around the country.

FLORIDA STATE: From the “Here We Go Again” Department, Florida State wide receiver Preston Parker will have to sit out the “first two games” of the 2008 season after pleading guilty Monday to two misdemeanor charges.

You may remember that the the 21 year old Parker, the Seminoles Most Valuable Player last season, was arrested in April on a FELONY charge of having a loaded .45 caliber pistol in the dashboard of his car. This charge was reduced to a misdemeanor charge of carrying a concealed weapon. At the time of his arresst, Parker was ALSO charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession, to which he also pleaded guilty in Palm Beach County.

Coach Bobby Bowden had this to say concerning Preston Parker. “Preston made a very serious mistake, and there are consequences when one of our boys gets in trouble.”

EDITORS NOTE: I guess that all depends on your definition of “consequences.”

No word yet on how the lack of Parker’s services will effect the Seminoles in the first two games of the season as they prepare to play the South Georgia Taxidermy Academy and the Breaux Bridge Vietnamese Nail and Beauty College.

MISSISSIPPI STATE: Two “former” Bulldog players Michael Brown and Quinton Wesley were given suspended sentences for firing guns on campus in March of this year. Each will be on probation during the sentence and could serve jail time if they do meet all the requirements set forth by the court.

The reason I used the term “former” is because Coach Sylvestor Croom kicked them both off the team soon after the arrests; for good.

The Coach didn’t wait to talk with them, gather additional evidence or have his personal attorney meet with the witnesses. He never said “Boys will be Boys” or any number of other catchy phrases used from Tallahassee to Knoxville.

If you are thinking that “maybe” the players weren’t “that good” and that gave the Coach a good opportunity to “send a message” to the rest of the team; Think again.

Michael Brown was the Bulldogs best offensive lineman, a second team All-SEC selection and a likely early round pick in next years NFL Draft. He was even on the cover of the Mississippi State Spring Football Guide.

Quinton Wesley was projected starter on the defensive side of the ball and was last year’s defensive MVP Runner-up for the Bulldogs.

EDITORS NOTE: In case you were wondering, that my friends IS “Old School” discipline.

PENN STATE: Good News from Happy Valley. Jo Pa is out of the hospital after being treated for dehydration and is back to his usual routine of recruiting and preparing the Nittany Lions for the upcoming season.

EDITORS NOTE: Welcome Back Joe, you gave us a scare.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: Recent revelations concerning “another” Trojan athlete have surfaced over improper payments and monetary inducements, this time within the basketball program. The investigation has “already” been conducted by the university and the findings presented to the conference and the NCAA.

So, why hasn’t the University of Southern California presented their “findings” yet to the PAC 10 Conference and the NCAA on the investigation into Reggie Bush and the Trojan Football program?

ESPN: Why are you all so quiet over the allegations involving Reggie Bush? Could it be the hefty football television contract with the PAC 10 Conference and the flagship football program of the conference?

The reason I ask is because any hint of alleged NCAA improprieties involving Southern universities and you all act like a bulldog with a new bone; you won’t leave it alone.

So, why are you all so quiet now?

NCAA: See Above

TENNESSEE: Many of you have written me concerning an entry into Wikipedia on Phil Fulmer. Specifically the section designated to his “Family.”

It states: “”Fulmer and his wife Vicky have three daughters Courtney, Brittany and Allison. Son Phillip Jr. is from a “previous relationship”.

I have received an untold number of requests recently for a picture of the illusive Phillip Junior since this startling revelation was uncovered and as you all know by now I never disappoint my fans.

Through an exhaustive clandestine investigation I present to you, the young Phil Fulmer Junior.

Enjoy your Memorial Weekend…..only 98 Days until Kick-Off.


Tags: , , , , , ,

2 Responses to Thursday Gridiron News

  1. The BamaPrincess on May 28, 2008 at 9:35 am

    DBf, Once again you have not failed to entertain and inform!!! Go Coach Croom! Certain folks in Knoxville and Tallahassee would do well to take notes from him! Wonder where he learned that hard-nose discipline???
    The BamaPrincess

  2. MEB on June 2, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Bama Princess –

    Coach Croom learned that from the very best…ever.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.