Ladies and Gentlemen –
We will break from the usual “Tuesday Email Q&A” with Hootie Snitch to update the Spring Football Games from around the Country.
For those of you that are interested….
Hootie and his cousin Ronnie have both been released from the hospital following Hootie’s failed attempt to perform laser eye surgery on his cousin.
I am sure he will have more to say about this incident later in the week.
We all know the Spring Football Games have become a showcase for the upcoming season, but they have also developed into a fans dream weekend with a number of events, concerts and programs to excite and motivate any college football fan.
The next two weeks I will highlight a number of College Football Spring games and the events surrounding them, including news from the practice fields to keep you all informed and motivated for the upcoming 2008 College Football Season.
Enjoy!
OLE MISS & DUKE: Excitement surrounds both football programs with new coaches on campus, with Houston “I’m a” Nutt at Ole Miss and David “I know the Manning’s” Cutcliffe with the Blue Devils.
The excitement transcended to the spring game as both teams doubled attendance from last years event. Duke had six people attend while Ole Miss had nearly a dozen in the stands.
Attempts to determine if some of the spectators had wandered into the stadiums by accident are as yet to be determined.
BEST QUOTE FROM A SPRING GAME: Cameron Newton, University of Florida.
“I am not competing to be the back-up quarterback. I am competing to be the starting quarterback.”
EDITORS NOTE: Two words for you son: Tim Tebow, Now go take a seat on the bench.
BEST COACH’S QUOTE: Coach Nick Saban, University of Alabama
“I don’t need any show dogs, I need hunting dogs out on the field.”
EDITORS NOTE: Enough said Coach.
TENNESSEE: The annual Orange and White game had a number of “interesting” events surrounding the game itself. My favorite would have to be the “Guess What Coach Fulmer Just Ate” Contest sponsored by Krispy Kreme and Big Orange Bail Bonds.
The winner was Hal “Scooter” Schofield from Winchester Tennessee with his winning guess of a 1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme.
EDITORS NOTE: No word yet on the condition of the illegal aliens living inside the vehicle at the time of consumption.
MICHIGAN: Athough the annual “Maze and Blue” game sounds like a time when the Native Americans saved some frozen pilgrims; the arrival of a new coach to campus in Ann Arbor has brought an unusual carnival like atmosphere to the spring game.
Coach Rodriguez or “Coach Rod” as he prefers to be called has instituted a number of what he calls “fun family events” for the Wolverine fans at this years spring game.
In honor of his wife, Coach Rod has the “Pimp your Wife” booth, which will allow Mrs. Rodriguez to give hooker fashion tips to the female attendees.
Prehaps the most popular event will be the “So Sue Me” Q&A with fans when Coach Rod will claim amnesia and other excuses on why he can’t pay West Virginia the 10 Million Dollars he owes them, this event will be sponsored by the Trial Lawyers Association of America.
And on a football note: If you think the Wolverines were bad last year?
You ain’t seen nothing yet…..
EDITORS NOTE: Why would you want to be called “Coach Rod”?
Sounds like the name of a gay porn star.
SOUTHERN MISS: I am still mad as hell that the Southern Miss administration ran Coach Jeff Bowers out of town, so I have nothing to report.
ALABAMA: 78, 200 in attendance for the Spring Game. Enough Said…..
OKLAHOMA & OKLAHOMA STATE: Nothing new to report, OU is BIG, Strong and Fast and will be better than they were last year and Coach Gundy is still a man.
CLEMSON: The Tigers are loaded with a returning quarterback that could start for anybody in the country except Florida. The game with Alabama to start the season will be something to see.
FLORIDA STATE: Great News from Tallahassee!
Last week it was reported that Coach Bobby found the practice field “all by his self”!
Unfortunately Coach Bobby was wearing “Pink Panther” slippers and matching robe while holding a bag of oranges and shouting “Where is MY Monkey!”
Coach Fisher took over practice while Bobby was taken away to “rest”.
More Spring Games to report later in the week.
RTR
MEB