This past Saturday the Mighty Fighting Okra fell to Minnesota Duluth for the Division II College National Championship.
That game was played on the University of North Alabama Lions football field in Florence, Alabama.

I mention this because I played on that football field as a young boy……..

In fact for a brief period of time, I lived down the street from the stadium….

I used to go up there every chance I got, just to run up and down the field.

Pretending to play football and imagining victory’s won in the last second.

And that got me to thinking about a Christmas I spent there as a boy…..
And the “Post Christmas”……

So I share this little story with you……

I hope you enjoy it…..

Merry Christmas….

Bullets in the Fire

At the risk of sounding like one of those old men I used to listen to as a kid harping on the youth of today, I have to say, some young kids today don’t realize how good they have it.

Between the drive thru meals and the video games it’s no wonder they don’t have appreciation for those things in life one has to work and strive to attain.

If you think I am pointing a finger at you, then you would be wrong.
I am pointing at myself as well.

I remember a time, not that long ago…

In a little house close to the railroad tracks, just down the road from what is now the University of North Alabama. In fact, when the freight trains rolled by everyday the entire house would shake as if from an earthquake. We could feel the clack-clack of the big wheels against steel tracks and the lonely blasts of the horns as the endless trains passed.

It was January and Alabama was hit with an unusually bitter cold spell.
The silhouettes of lifeless trees looked like shadows against the grey skies.
The blistering cold winds caused the entire house to creek as it labored to keep the heat of the fireplace trapped within it’s midst.

I was six years old and I was living with a family that also had a grandparent and grandmother living with them.

This particular Saturday two neighbors arrived and they were all warming themselves next to the fireplace in the little clapboard house next to the railroad tracks.

As I recall there were a total of eleven people in that little house that Saturday.
There were the foster parents, her father and mother, their two children, myself and two other foster children to work the fields and live stock across the tracks and the two neighbors from down the road.

Eleven in all on this cold morning most of which were huddled close to the fire talking all at once about a variety of subjects. Myself and the other kids all about the same age just got in from feeding the hogs, the two cows and cleaning the stalls to find ourselves hurried to the kitchen for the customary bowl of oatmeal.

My rumbling stomach could wait…
I had other pursuits in mind….

The grandfather who lived there liked me…
Maybe it’s because as a veteran of World War I
That’s right I said World War I…

I listened intently to his every story and asked a variety of questions all of which he answered patiently.
His Daughter and son in law didn’t seem to care what he had done in the Great War and neither did any of the other grandchildren or foster kids.
Me, I loved every minute of it.
I called him Mister Chuck and he called me Sonny.

Mister Chuck would say “Sonny you want to hear a story about the Great War?”
In a loud and resounding voice shouting yes sir! I would be at his feet quick as a rabbit.

I can still see him in my mind’s eye, setting in that rocking chair in his overalls, smoking a filter less cigarette staring into the fireplace as he told his stories; his mind drifting off to the battlefields of Europe and fighting the Hun.

Mister Chuck was a good and decent man.

A few weeks before this story…
It was Christmas..
There wasn’t much to go around for the foster kids in that house or anybody else for that matter.
But Mister Chuck made sure we all got new socks and Miss Annie (his wife) had knitted each of us a nice warm stocking cap.

But Mister Chuck had something special in mind for me….
Mister Chuck always carried tucked in his overalls, a Smith & Wesson Russian Model .44 caliber revolver.

He would occasionally unload it and let me carry it and even let me pretend to shoot it.
I would practice my sight picture imagining unknown marauders and the Kaiser’s Boys across the field, preparing to storm our defensive position.

That pistol was almost as long as my arm and at the time felt like it weighted a metric ton.
But I loved it.

Anytime he would unload the massive revolver he would let me put those big .44 caliber bullets in my pocket and even carry them around most of the day.
The bullets consisted of a huge chunk of lead attached to a real brass cartridge.
I felt like an ammo carrier preparing to make it to the trenches to resupply my brothers on the front lines.

So on this Christmas with no one around Mister Chuck said he knew how much I enjoyed playing with those bullets, so he gave me ten of the .44 Russian caliber bullets.
He got down on the floor with me and told me to imagine them as soldiers and with my imagination they could be whatever I wanted them to be.
It was an awesome gift.

At night I would wrap them in an old handkerchief and put them under my pillow and during the day I carried them with me everywhere I went.
I would play with those bullets every chance I got.
I would line them up on the floor and imagining all kinds of warfare in far away and exotic locations.

On this cold Saturday in January I was in a corner playing with my “soldiers” as the children ate their oatmeal in the kitchen and while the adults huddled near the fire place, some seated and others standing talking about whatever adults talk about.
In the middle of the group set Mister Chuck, staring into the fire.

I was in the process of relieving the beleaguered 101st Airborne Division at Bastogne in the corner of the room near a little table with my bullet soldiers, when the “incident” happened.

The man of the house and the son-in-law of Mister Chuck left the fireplace and came over to the table where I was playing. As he retrieved something from the top of the table his boot hit my “soldiers” and sent them scattering.

The man of the house saw the look of surprise on my young face and perhaps a hint of disgust as well.

He told me in no uncertain terms that I had no business playing with those bullets
He then told me to get rid of them right now or I would get a beating.

To this day I am not sure if everyone huddled around the fireplace heard the dispute, I know Mister Chuck certainly didn’t. Not that it has any real bearing on the rest of the story, but what happened next seem to start in slow motion.

My feelings were hurt and yes I was embarrassed, but more than that I was mad.
So with tears in my eyes, I gathered up my bullets in both hands and walked confidently towards the fireplace.

I walked between two adults who were talking about something or another and unceremoniously pitched all ten .44 caliber bullets into the roaring fire.

I can still the brass turning over in the air as they left my hands
The moment was frozen in time.

Until the Son In law who unbeknownst to me had witnessed the entire episode from across the room yelled

“There’s Bullets in the Fire!”
That was about the time the first rounds started detonating in the fireplace.
Was it ever loud!

I have never seen so many people running so fast in my life; how so many of them squeezed through the front door of that little house at the same time amazes me to this day.

That little living room looked like the deck of the Titanic.

While the crowd panicked Mister Chuck never left his rocking chair, I can still hear him laughing over the explosions in the fireplace.
He was laughing so hard he was crying, despite the fact embers hit him from the explosions and left burning, smoking holes on the legs of his overalls and in the arms of his flannel shirt.

I had a first hand account of these events as I conveniently watched the fireworks display and subsequent scrabbling for safety from behind Mister Chuck’s rocking chair.

By the time the last round exploded and with ringing in my ears and the smell of cordite hanging in the air, the crowd slowly made their way back into the house, and I don’t think I need to mention the adults were something less than pleased with my actions, even Miss Annie looked like she was thrown from a truck.

Once the man of the house and Mister Chuck’s son-in-law came into the house, he grabbed me by the straps of my overalls and jerked me to me feet.
I knew I was done for
That was until Mister Chuck said
“Let that boy go”.
Nobody messed with Mister Chuck.

Mister Chuck stood up from his rocking chair and calmly asked me what happened.
When the Son-in-law tried to interrupt, Mister Chuck just held up his had to silence his protests.
In my fear I recounted the story and Mister Chuck nodded his head, patted me on the shoulder and said, nobody is whipping this boy today. Sonny let’s go get you some more of them bullets.
And he did

I didn’t get a whipping that day, or any other day while I was in that home.
Only Mister Chuck and I talked and laughed about the incident later, nobody else dared bring the subject up for fear of making the son-in-law mad.

All either of us had to say was
“There’s Bullets in the Fire!”
And we would erupt with laughter.
Each and every time we talked about it, Mister Chuck would laugh just as hard as he did the day it happened and he would always say, “That was the funniest damn thing I ever saw”.

I left there the next year and I never forgot Mister Chuck and Miss Annie.
I didn’t see a lot of Mister Chuck as the years moved on and I kept up with them as best I could as I was growing up.

But Mister Chuck never forgot me.
He made sure before he died that “Sonny” received the pistol he loved so much as a little boy.
Sometimes everything works out just like it’s supposed to.

RTR

THE CFB WIZARD

Before we get into this weeks picks….
I want to thank Hootie Snitch for providing his “unique” perspective on last weeks games and answering your email questions.

But just for the record I am a lot closer to Two Buck Tim than I am Tim Buck Two…

Last week your favorite college football prognosticator was a “disappointing” 42 and 15 or 75%.
And for the season I stand at 453 and 121 or a rather lackluster 79%.

But I take solace in my prognostication powers
when I heard that ESPN college football “analyst” Todd McShay, according to the network…
was making his picks at a “furious” pace by selecting “16” games currently this season where he stands at 10 and 6.

I know what you are thinking……
“Amateur”

But before we roll into Week 11’s Picks I want to wish…….
A Happy Veterans Day to all Veterans, past, present and future.

And a Happy Marine Corps Birthday to my Marine brethren around the world
We’ve Been Keep’n it Real since 1775….

Enjoy your games!

COMMENTATORS QUOTE

Bret Musburger on Alabama Coach Nick Saban
During the game with LSU in 2007 which the Crimson Tide lost

“There is the highest paid coach in American folks;
it doesn’t look like the folks in Alabama are getting a lot for their money does it?”

EDITORS NOTE: Just for the record dumbass….
I don’t think we pay Coach Nick enough, buy I think it has worked out o.k., don’t you?

Wednesday November 11th

Toledo at Central Michigan
The rockets will be reduced to a pack of firecrackers before halftime
Believe it
CHIPPEWAS 33-14

Thursday November 12th

Texas Southern at Grambling State
The Bayou Classic……
Beyond the football game, the battle of the bands is not to be missed.
I am still a Coach Rob man…
ROB’S TIGERS 31-17

Bowling Green at Miami (OH)
Another Classic Battle on I-75
The Falcons are favored, but I have a feeling….
REDSKINS 24-21

South Florida at Rutgers
I know, I know
This game is being played in “Jousey….”
But forget about it…..
NO BULL 33-28

Friday November 13th

West Virginia at Cincinnati
Save a Couch, Beat the Mountaineers
BEARKATS 31-28

Temple at Akron
The Owls are on their way to their first Bowl game since 1979…
Zippy gets Zipped…
HOOT OWLS 24-20

Saturday November 14th

Florida at South Carolina
Nobody needs to tell Coach Steve how bad a Gator bite can be….
MIGHTY GATORS 33-17

Furman at Georgia Southern
I can’t wait to hear Chewbacca sing the “Statesboro Blues”
I heard he does a great Greg Allman imitation
EAGLES 24-21

Texas at Baylor
The Waco Bears have really come on as of late…….
and I know I missed picking the Bears in “The Battle of the Brazos”
But the boys in burnt orange are the real McCoy
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-21

Pennsylvania at Harvard
I really don’t care and neither should you

Alabama at Mississippi State
The Bully Bulldogs are always tough…
But the Tide is coming in…
CRIMSON TIDE 24-13

Frostburg State at Salisbury
This game is a stark reminder that I wish I had a frosty beverage and a Salisbury steak.
But sometimes I wish for too much

Indiana at Penn State
I missed on Joe Pa’s Lions last week against the mighty Buckeyes….
But Joe has more than enough magnification left in his reading glasses to burn the Homers from Hoosierville
JOE’S LIONS 31-17

Columbia at Cornell
Nobody cares about this game either, and as a side note…
Both teams marching bands suck too.

Tennessee at Ole Miss
Remember my prognostication about the Volunteers not losing another game?
Yeah, I was serious…
VOWELS 34-17

Arizona at California
I would watch this game
but I heard there was fighting in Central America, and I have to watch the news, I have friends in Missouri.
I bet there fighting those damn people from Kansas.
GOLDEN BEARS 33-28

Miami (FL) at North Carolina
The Tar Heels….
Wait, what the hell is that anyway?
Is that somebody who walked across a freshly paved road bare footed?
Never mind….
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE 23-17

EDITORS NOTE: That song is stuck in your head now isn’t it?

Virginia Military Institute at Army
There are better games going on around the country when this game gets underway….
There are better teams playing this Saturday with more at stake in the college football world, while this game is being played
But you won’t find any better kids anywhere in the country than you will see right here
They are some of the very best we have in this country
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 24-14

Texas A&M at Oklahoma
If you wonder why I continue to pick the Sooners…
even with all the season ending injuries on the team, the answer to that question is easy.
It’s because they are the still the Mighty Sooners, that’s why.
BOOMER SOONERS 31-28

Virginia Tech at Maryland
Ed Wang of Virginia Tech, who also happens to be the biggest Wang in College Football, but I digress….
I wonder if Ed Wang has ever gone out and “Wang Chung Tonight”
Just curious…
HOKEY HOKEY HI! 34-17

Samford at Wofford
This pesky cough is going to kick Sam’s ass, count on it.
WOFFY 33-13

Stanford at Southern California
No Upset Special Here……
The Darlings of the Sports Media get their other eye blacked with a tree
CARDINAL 38-24

EDITORS NOTE: I know it doesn’t really fit here…..
But……
Coach Pete, you want a quacker?
That never gets old for me..

Iowa at Ohio State
The quarterback with the Black and Gold is out for at least two weeks
The Buckeyes are rolling and the game is in the Big Horseshoe
Enough said….
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 31-17

Citadel at Chattanooga
The Bulldogs get shoed away from a win with a moccasin, believe it.
MOCCASINS 28-24

Texas Tech at Oklahoma State
The Red Raiders get rode down by the Cowboys in Stillwater
You better believe it….
COWBOY UP! 38-34

Florida State at Wake Forest
A lot of people are down on Coach Bobby as of late…..
They want to say it’s because he is “too old” to be coaching
He went to high school with Noah, so yeah he is definitely “old”
But that’s not the real reason is it?
It’s because you Seminoles aren’t beating the hell out of everybody, right?
You complainers should all should be ashamed of yourselves…
SEMI-NOLES 24-21

Nebraska at Kansas
I can’t help but wonder….
Are there a lot of Huskers that shop in the “Husky” sections at department stores…..
Do any of them own Husky dogs?
I know, sometimes I wonder too much…
HUSKY CORNHUSKERS 23-17

Auburn at Georgia
This game is called “The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry”, because it is just that.
Conventional wisdom calls for the Tigers to win this game, they are favored in the contest.
But as you all know by now….
I am neither conventional nor wise.
RUN YOU SILVER BRITCHES! 34-31

Michigan at Wisconsin
Despite the fact the Wolverines are playing in Wisconsin,
There is no truth to the rumor that Coach Rod’s wife’s perfume smell’s like old cheese
That is hurtful and untrue
Her perfume smells more like the mixture of old peoples feet, wet corn flakes and a high school rest room urinal cake.
I hope that sets the record straight
BEHOLD THE POWER OF CHEESE 31-21

Washington at Oregon State
For once I agree with Hootie Snitch…
I love me some Beavers…
MIGHTY BEAVERS 33-17

Troy at Arkansas
What in the Hell was Troy thinking scheduling this game?
He must be drinking again….
RAZORBACKS 43-10

Colorado at Iowa State
Thank you all for your enquiries….
But my sister-in-law will “Not” be leading the Colorado Team on the field
this Saturday as the “Guest Buffalo” for the game with the Cyclones.
She is currently filming new “Messing with Sasquatch” Beef Jerky commercials..
Before you ask, “No” she is not wearing any makeup…
And “Yes” they are using “movie magic” to cover up her antlers, sorry..
I mean “calcium deposits”
BUFFALOS 24-17

South Dakota State at Minnesota
Question for the Minnesota faithful…
Aren’t Gophers really just hamsters on steroids?
O’ So GOLDEN GOPHERS 38-23

Georgia Tech at Duke
The Devils will be Black and Blue before this one is over…
YELLOW JACKETS 38-14

Clemson at North Carolina State
This game is known as “The Textile Bowl”
The winner of the decorative towels and fuzzy bathroom mats is…
DABO’S TIGERS 34-17

Notre Dame at Pittsburgh
This classic matchup in the North is played for the highly coveted…
“Yeti in a Tube Top” trophy….
Not really I was just hoping someone would take my sister-in-law for Thanksgiving
FIGHTN’ IRISH 33-28

Kentucky at Vanderbilt
The Commodores get the Blues in Music City on Saturday Night
Believe it….
BIG BLUE WILDCATS 24-20

Boston College at Virginia
The Cavaliers lost to the Duke Blue Devils two weeks ago….
Enough said….
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 141-14

UCLA at Washington State
I understand Alvin and the Chipmunks will be singing the National Anthem at this game
Not the “real” Chipmunks, just some dudes or dudettes in foam rubber costumes
Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you all worked up over nothing
BRUINS 33-14

Northwestern at Illinois
Another Big Ten “rivalry” game and you know what that means..
That’s right, another game for a coveted trophy!
This annual game between these two schools is played for
“The Trombone of Cheese Whiz”
Don’t touch it, you don’t know were it’s been
FIGHTN’ PUMPKINS 28-17

Missouri at Kansas State
In any conflict between the states of Missouri and Kansas
I always side with Kansas, because I am a Jesse James man..
but any team that goes to the trouble of digging up their dead coach
and propping him up on the sidelines to inspire their team, well…
I have to respect that
WILDCATS 24-23

Arizona State at Oregon
I would watch this game but the Animal Planet is having a “Special” on Sea Monkey’s.
You know they are natures perfect creature right?
They swim in the ocean and can live in the jungle.
If you don’t believe me then why do you think they call them “Sea Monkeys”?
I think I made my point
QUACK ATTACK 33-28

Michigan State at Purdue
This Big Ten Rivalry is played each year for a magnificent trophy!
Aren’t they all?
This Big Ten game is played for the highly coveted “Bejeweled Staff of Doubt”
Frankly I doubt anybody really cares about this game..
BOILERMAKERS 31-24

Houston at Central Florida
The Golden Knights are in Orlando right?
Isn’t that were “O Town” was from?
That’s all I need to know…
COUGARS 33-21

Syracuse at Louisville
This game may answer the eternal philosophical question….
Will anyone attend a college football game between two crappy teams?
CARDINALS 17-10

Brigham Young at New Mexico
The Lobos get Low Blow’d in New Mexico…
I know that was catchy right?
Think of me as the college football version of Doctor Seuss
COUGARS 34-17

UAB at Memphis
I know what I am talking about here
I’ve been to Graceland…
Thank you, thank you very much
ELVIS’S TIGERS 24-17

Idaho at Boise State
This game is entitled….
“The Battle of Idaho” and it is played for the Governors Cup
At least this instate battle doesn’t have the word “Flower” in it
BRONCOS 34-21

Texas El Paso at Southern Methodist
The Miners of El Paso have surprised a few people this year, but they won’t surprise
THE MIGHTY MUSTANGS 33-28

Tulane at Rice
Not that this has anything to do with the game, but I have to ask
Why is Rice-a-Roni the San Francisco treat?
I always thought it was Liberace
Never mind…
HOO HOOT OWLS 21-17

Delaware at Navy
I have grown to love that Navy Goat mascot….
You have to respect a mascot that can eat a tin can, you know what I mean?
MIDSHIPMEN 38-17

Southern Miss at Marshall
I really like both of these teams, but they harder to predict than the weather
WE ARE MARSHALL 24-21

UNLV at Air Force
The Falcons are soaring and the Rebels are grounded….
This one is easy
FALCONS 34-10

Utah at Texas Christian
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!!!
Two Ute’s take down the horned amphibians in Cow Town
So says my Cousin Vinny
TWO UTES 28-24

Louisiana Tech at LSU
The Bulldogs are in trouble in this instate Battle on the Bayou
Mike the Tiger is angry and hungry….
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 34-10

New Mexico State at Hawaii
This game is just another reminder I am missing “Dog the Bounty Hunter”
Life is so unfair sometimes
WARRIORS jumping rope over RAINBOWS 31-28

Sunday November 15th

East Carolina at Tulsa
I wonder if a “Golden Hurricane” is a drink you don’t have buy yourself
on Bourbon Street?
Makes you wonder doesn’t it?
CAROLINA PIRATES 23-21

Enjoy your weekend and your games

Stay tuned…

RTR
MEB