It’s Fall and that means one thing: Football

Now I know that in most places it’s not cool yet and it doesn’t even look like Fall.

And if you are in Lubbock the temperatures are only fifteen degrees cooler than the surface of the sun, so you don’t have to remind me.

But this is a special time of year for many of us…temperatures aside.

I discussed this some time ago with my friend Hank……..
And he wrote a piece that he has graciously allowed me to reproduce for you here.
I believe he framed the picture perfectly.

Thank you Hank

Enjoy….

Everyone has their memories of “Back in the day.”
Mine include trips to a little spot in the road, out in the middle of nowhere, in South Georgia called Mayday.
A black and white TV with rabbit ears and no cable.
Window fans on hot, sticky August nights.
Or maybe riding with my Dad, an exterminator, to towns like Fort Valley, Hawkinsville, Unadilla, or Warner Robins.
But, some of the fondest were when I was in High School…..
School would start and Autumn would slowly creep in to slowly displace those hot summer days.

Bears hibernate in the winter time.
At the end of fall, they find a place to curl up and sleep unencumbered until the warmth of spring finally rouses them to begin their lives anew.
I always equated the life of a college football fan in much the same way.
After the National Championship and all the “All Star” games, college football fans receded to a life of dormancy, void of exciting Saturdays, and hibernated until the start of a new season.

Thus the reference to “Back in the day”……
It’s funny how memories work.
Something small and insignificant can trigger the floodgates to open. And so, as I sat on my back porch this last Saturday, I remembered those High School days.
Going outside, there was the slightest hint of coolness in the air from an easterly breeze and tolerable temperatures.
Memories rushed into my head of excitedly getting up on that most important day of the weekend. I’d rush out to the mailbox to retrieve the latest edition of the Macon Telegraph.
In those days, above the title banner, would be regional scores of the Friday night High School Football games.
Perry 35, Hawkinsville 21, Jones County 14, Dodge County 10. And so on, and so forth.
I would scan those scores and dive into the paper to find the sports pages.
Most times I went to those Perry High School games but still there was something special about reading about what I already knew happened in the paper.
I voraciously read all the write ups about Peach County, Warner Robins, Northside, Jones County, and all the other schools in the area.
Afterwards, I always had some kind of chores to do around the house. I’d hurriedly knock those out and ride to town to get a loaf of bread or gallon of milk for my Mama.
On the way to the store in my ’68 LTD I would excitedly turn the knob on the radio and search for an AM radio station in Macon.

What time is it? Did I miss it? No, it’s almost 11 o’clock, Time for Leonard’s Losers.
I don’t know how I came across that old show. Maybe I found it by tuning from station to station looking for some good Southern Rock. But one day while spinning the knob on the radio the refrain of a banjo picking out the opening tune caught my ear. Then the “countrified” voice of Percy Peabody announced that it was time for another edition of “Leonard’s Losers.” Afterward, Leonard would make his weekly predictions of the upcoming Saturday’s college football outcomes. But this was unique. He picked losers. And he did it with flair. And he did it with a unique style with nicknames such as “The North Avenue Trade School” and the “Red Clay Hounds.” There was the “Herd of Angry Elephants from Tuscaloosa” and the “Reptiles from Florida.”

After I got my weekly fill of Leonard, I was headed back to the house.
Almost 12 o’clock, I still had time to gulp down a bologna sandwich and watch the game.
Even then, with only 2 or 3 games on any given Saturday, I was mesmerized by the excitement and pageantry of College Football.
Georgia and Vince Dooley, Alabama with Bear Bryant, Ohio State and Woody Hayes, Michigan with Bo Schembecler.
Big games announced by “Whooooaaa Nelly!!” Keith Jackson.
Alabama – Auburn. Georgia – Georgia Tech. Texas – Arkansas,. USC – UCLA.
History and tradition unfolding before my eyes.

It was Saturday.
Leaves would soon begin to brown and fall.
Cool nights, warm days, and the shadows.
I still remember the shadows off the trees were always longer.
The humidity grudgingly left and was replaced by the dry warmth of the afternoon sun and the chill of those fall nights.

Football Season had come. By the grace of God, it’s here again.

Thank you Hank, it’s perfect, just perfect….

RTR

THE CFB WIZARD

We have a lot of college football news to discuss from Tallahassee to Tacoma….
So let’s get to it…..

TEAM NEWS

TENNESSEE: This past week Athletic Director Mike Hamilton alluded to the Volunteer Football Team wearing black jerseys at selected home games this year….
Despite the fact “black” is not an official color of the University of Tennessee.
In case you were counting….
The current list of “official” University of Tennessee school colors is as follows:
Orangutan Orange
County Work Crew Orange
Road Cone Orange
Hunters Orange
Glow in the Dark Neon Orange
Cheetos Orange
Baboon ass Orange
Pumpkin Orange
Orange peel Orange
Cheese Curl Orange
Nehi Soda Orange
Orange Crème
Infected Spider Bite Orange
Just plain Orange
Teal
Light Blue
Magenta
White
Off-White
Cream
And
Black

EDITORS NOTE: I know what you are thinking…
But this is nothing….
You should see how many mascots they have…
Which we will discuss in a later article….

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: This past week Stewart Mandel of SI posted his list of the “Top Ten Best College Football Coaches of All-Time.”

Who was Number One?

Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant….

Which goes to show you even a gibbering idiot can get it right occasionally….

FLORIDA STATE: As Bobby Bowden and the Seminole Faithful wait patiently for word on their appeal to the NCAA on the 14 vacated wins…..
It’s important to remember…..
Coach Wally English….
That name doesn’t ring a bell?
He was the Coach for the Tulane Green Wave in 1983…..

The NCAA took two wins away from him that season for playing with what they determined as an ineligible player….
The NCAA said the Green Wave had one ineligible player…
It was the quarterback and the coach’s son…
John English…
But more importantly…..

One of those “wins” went to Bobby Bowden and Florida State….

That’s right….
One of Bobby’s 382 career victories….was actually a loss.

Never mind the 31 games Coach Bobby won at Samford that is counted towards his grand total or his “Big Win” in the Golden Isle Bowl against Gordon Junior College…

The date was September 17, 1983 and the final score was Tulane 34 Florida State 28…

Coach Bobby, according to the asterisk in the Seminole Media Guide, won the game by “forfeit”.

But according to an interview Coach Bobby did on November 9th 1983…
and I quote Coach Bobby….

“I wouldn’t mind getting a little forfeit; I’m getting to the coward stage and will accept a forfeit”

So now the NCAA wants to forfeit 14 Seminole wins from Bobby’s record because they said he used ineligible players.

I guess Coach Bobby has learned the first rule of the NCAA…..

The NCAA giveth and the NCAA taketh away……

SOUTH CAROLINA: This past week the Gamecocks “Self-Reported” 14 secondary violations relating to the football and other athletic programs at the University.
The national sports media couldn’t wait to promote that as a headline…
But what are the secondary violations?
Such heinous crimes as student athletes using expired meal cards….
Not returning their text books on time….
And…..
“Unauthorized” Snacks…..

EDITORS NOTE: Don’t be surprised if the NCAA doesn’t give them all the electric chair…

But yet not a single word from the national sports media about the status of the NCAA “Investigation” into Southern California and Reggie Bush…
Not a word….
But they couldn’t wait to promote “another” Southeastern Conference School as “Cheaters.”

EDITORS NOTE: My friends how much more are we going to take before we secede from the NCAA?

Coach Bobby, can I get an “Amen”?

ESPN: See “South Carolina” above, you cowards.

FOXSPORTS: Please see “ESPN” above….

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: “If” you can read it….
Please see “South Carolina” above….

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS: Read the above, Trojan lovers..

NCAA: So now that we are on the topic….
Where the hell are we with the “Investigation” into Reggie Bush and the Southern California Trojans?

Make no mistake….
We aren’t going away…

NEWBERRY COLLEGE: Thanks to the NCAA….
The Newberry “Indians” were forced to drop their nickname in 2007 because it was deemed racist by the fine folks in Indianapolis.

Since that time….
Newberry has been unable to come up with a nickname that will satisfy the students, alumni and the NCAA.

So Newberry is a school without a mascot.

That’s why I am here….
Hence forth they will be known as….
The Newberry College “We don’t have a nickname because Myles Brand is a Jackass.”

EDITORS NOTE: I know….
It doesn’t sound very catchy…
But it has less profanity than my first choice….

FLORIDA: Good News and Some Bad news…..
The Good News….
Coach Urban Meyer isn’t going anywhere….
The Bad News…
Notre Dame is stuck with Coach Weis….
Sorry Charlie….

WASHINGTON: The Huskies are quietly loading up….
Remember you heard it here first….

COLLEGE FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME: On Saturday the College Football Hall of Fame will induct a number of notable names from college football.
Certainly all are worthy….
But I am very pleased that the committee finally got off their collective butts and elected Lou Holtz and the Great Billy Cannon of LSU into the Hall of Fame.

Congratulations….

It’s about damn time….

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: Seriously……
You folks aren’t on probation yet?

Do I need to show you a copy of the “lease” between the sports agent and Reggie’s Momma?

I will be glad too….
I am here to help….

EMAIL QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

Q: Mike now that your website is increasing in popularity, do you feel like all the publicity has changed you?
Melanie – Charleston, South Carolina

A: Well, in an effort to keep up with current culture I am considering changing one of my kid’s names to an inanimate object, like “toaster”.
And although I don’t make enough money to do something ”eccentric” like trying to buy the elephant man’s bones, I can report my Labrador retriever dug up a dead squirrel in the back yard.

Q: Mike I heard NCAA President Myles Brand is gravely ill, is that true?
Ben – Middleton, Kentucky

A: That was incorrectly reported Ben…
Actually he isn’t ill….

This past week a wooden steak narrowly missed Myles Brand’s heart and the entire staff of the NCAA went back to their coffins until the next full moon reaches its zenith, which of course means another NCAA investigation into a southern school.
Better luck next time Buffy….

Q: Dude, do you think this is the year USC will go undefeated in the PAC 10 and win the National Championship?
Jelly – Santa Clarita, California

A: USC isn’t in the PAC 10 dumbass…..
That is the University of South Carolina …
and in case you were wondering…
USC was an established university when Mexicans ran California….
Nice to know some things haven’t changed…

And by the way….
What kind of damn name is “Jelly”?

Q: OMG! You know Matthew McConaughey? Like for real?
You said he was your friend! Like OMG!
Can you please, please get me his autograph?
I LOVE him!
Please!
Tammy – New Orleans, Louisiana

A: Matthew warned me this would happen….

Q: Why are you making us wait?
Tell us who won the “new” Tennessee Dog Mascot Contest!
Come on and Tell Us!
Brad – Germantown, Tennessee

A: Sorry Brad, entries are still arriving weekly….
But the “Winner” of the “new” Tennessee Dog mascot Contest will be announced in the College Football Pre-Season Extravaganza…coming soon…

Q: Mike you strike me as a philosophical man….
So I have to ask you…
Is the Hokey Pokey what it is really all about?
Thanks….
Ryan – Washington, D.C.

A: Well Ryan, it all depends on what your definition of “Hokey Pokey” is…
However, I will tell you….
Be careful using that term if you are traveling in or around the San Francisco area…
It takes on a whole different meaning there…
And as an added safety tip….
If you drop your wallet in that city, I would suggest you kick it to Reno Nevada before you pick it up…

Q: Mike I really enjoy your articles on college mascots.
But it occurred to me that my Indiana University doesn’t have a “Hoosier” mascot.
What gives? Shouldn’t they have a mascot to represent the Hoosiers?
Thanks!
Roy – Fort Wayne, Indiana

A: Actually Roy….
Indiana “had” a Hoosier mascot until a few years ago….
Despite looking like the progeny of “Brutus” the Buckeye and “Lil Red” of Nebraska,
Like many mascots “Hansel” the Hoosier came into this world all cute and cuddly.

But unfortunately “Hansel” the Hoosier was arrested for breaking into Dugan’s Garage and huffing gasoline.
He is currently in Rehab and the University hopes he will be released in 2010.

Enclosed is Hansel’s picture captured by a surveillance camera in Dugan’s Garage.

It’s sad really….

Q: Sir I am confused….
Is the University of New Mexico known as the “Lobo’s” or the “Hobo’s”?
Thanks!
Ronnie – Carlsbad, New Mexico

A: Glad you asked Ronnie…..
The proper name and pronunciation of the mascot of the University of New Mexico is “Ho-Bo’s”, hope that has cleared up any misunderstand.

Q: Dear Sir,
I just wanted to say that there is a certain coach in a certain state that borders Georgia and North Carolina that really got a bum deal last year after getting beat by Wake, Alabama, and Maryland and others.
I mean, c’mon, this team got whipped by that devil Saban. Everybody knows he’s a lyin’ dog. He shouldn’t even be at Alabama after he said he wasn’t going there!! If he wouldn’t have been there, well, the school in question probably wouldn’t have got beat. And then Wake Forest!! Heck, they’re a ACC powerhouse. C’mon, that’s powerhouse with a capital ‘P’. And Maryland. Heck Ralph “the Fridge” Fridgeon is an offensive genius. He made the unnamed school’s defensive coach’s pull their hair out!
Maryland is just good like that.
Well, I just wanted to get that off my chest. This coach feels really, really bad about all that. He’s livin’ down on the beach in Florida now, mopin’ around, and wishing that all those alumni that gave him all that money to leave the unnamed school would have just kept their mouths shut. By the way, he’s looking for a school in the PAC 10 to coach at so he doesn’t have to win those dang National Championships. Those guys just want to make sure the participation rules are followed so that all their boys playing football still have high self esteem.
Sincerely,
Bommy Towden

A: Stop writing me Tommy…
Or I will get a restraining order…

Only 48 days until Kickoff….
Your College Football Pre-Season Extravaganza will be out soon…
Enjoy your weekend….

And as a side note…
Be careful Hank and get home safe and sound…

RTR
MEB

You may not have read the latest college football news last week…..
The issue I am going to discuss….
Was skipped over by most of the major sports news networks….

The NCAA and NAACP are working together…
To punish the states of South Carolina and Mississippi…..

You are probably asking yourself….
“They must have done some thing really illegal….right?”
Wrong….

The NCAA is “forcing” a spineless Atlantic Coast Conference Commissioner to prevent the ACC from having any tournaments in the State of South Carolina, to include baseball for the next four years.

Why?
Because a confederate battle flag flies over a confederate war monument on the grounds of the South Carolina state capitol.

And as we have detailed in past articles…
The NCAA does not recognize popular elections….

The fine people of the great state of Mississippi voted in a popular election to keep their state flag design……
And that doesn’t set will with the people in Indianapolis and the NAACP….

So the State of Mississippi is not allowed to hold any athletic tournaments either…
And the Commissioner of the Southeastern Conference bowed at the altar of political correctness and didn’t fight it…

If these Universities don’t have fair representation in their conferences, then why do they have to pay the same “dues” as the other colleges in the conference?

Is there any logic in holding a University accountable for the decisions made in the State House or in a popular election?

The answer is punishment…

EDITORS NOTE: If you have an aversion to the truth, stop reading now…..

Let me break this down for you…….
The folks at “Alphabet Soup”….The NCAA and NAACP….

Will tell you that the confederate battle flag is offensive to black people…..
They will tell you that the confederate battle flag is the same as the Nazi flag…..
That the confederate battle flag and the southern confederacy was all about slavery…

I am not here to teach anyone about history…

But let’s follow the logic here…..

Follow along with me….

Do any of the folks from Alphabet Soup or anyone that sides with their perspective in this argument drive a Mercedes or a BMW?

They should be ashamed of themselves….

They must get rid of those vehicles immediately…
Same goes if they own a Volkswagen.
Ditto on the Porsche….

What?

Adolph Hitler rode around in a Mercedes….
I can still see the black and white pictures of him….
Standing in the back seat; rendering the Nazi salute….
The Mercedes emblem shinning in the sun…

Adolph loved his BMW’s and owned several…..
He also proposed the Volkswagen, “The Peoples Car”
You want to talk about the history of Porsche?

If you side with Alphabet Soup and drive one of the vehicles mentioned above…

Then you are glorifying Hitler….
You endorse the Nazi agenda….

And worse….

You are a hypocrite.

You can’t have it both ways folks….

I know what some of you are saying about this particular issue…..
It’s about the reminder of slavery stupid…

If that is the case….
Then that makes their argument even stranger….

If the NAACP is really sincere about their concern for slavery then why are they “in bed” with the biggest slave merchants of the 21st century?

The NCAA is a multi-billion dollar a year business….
The Harvard School of Business ranks the NCAA the Number One monopoly in the United States, ahead of Microsoft and OPEC.

The President of the NCAA makes over six million dollars a year….
Has not one, but two Lear Jets at his personal disposal….
The organization has zero government oversight or regulation…

Yet what do the “workers” make that generate this type of capitol?
Let us not forget that the majority of the “workers” in this discussion are people of “color”….

Nothing…..
Zero….
Zilch…

If that isn’t “slavery” then what is?

I know….
I know….

You say…
But they are getting a “free” education….

But it isn’t free….
The time the modern athlete spends on the practice field or on the basketball court…
Is far greater than it was in my day….
A lot greater…

The amount of money the student athlete is “allowed” to make during a year with a part-time job is capped by the NCAA…
Their non-student athlete counter-parts have no such cap on their income…

The NCAA can even use the athlete’s likeness for video games and get paid millions…and millions for it and nothing of monetary value in return for the student athlete.

Now I am not advocating that we pay college athletes…
I still believe in the purity of college athletics….

I am saying the NCAA & the NAACP has their priorities wrong….

Jesse Jackson “Marched on Montgomery” a few years ago when the University of Alabama didn’t hire a person of color to coach its football team.

I guess the right reverend was to busy a year or so later when the University of Michigan only interviewed and subsequently hired Rich Rodriguez to coach the Wolverines.
I can say this because the Rev’ was nowhere to be found.

Driving a Mercedes is O.K…..
But having a battle flag flying from war monument isn’t…

We are “over” the Holocaust….
But 19th Century Slavery is “fresh” on our minds?

Slavery was bad then….
But it’s O.K. now; as long as we get our cut?
Is that about the size of it?

We will recognize popular elections in the United States…
As long as “they” agree with the outcome…

Southern California Trojan Football Players can have a racist’s website…
That’s O.K….
But you can’t have a fraternity party at Auburn and wear a dreadlock wig….
Right?
Because Auburn is in Alabama and we all know that Southerners are racists…

They both preach tolerance….
Yet are the most intolerant organizations in this country…

I for one am sick of it….
I know that I will lose readership over this article and you know what?

I don’t give a damn….

It’s time somebody speaks the truth….

RTR
MEB