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><channel><title>CFB Wizard &#187; ncaa myles brand college mascots</title> <atom:link href="http://cfbwizard.com/tag/ncaa-myles-brand-college-mascots/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /><link>http://cfbwizard.com</link> <description>Your College Football Authority!</description> <lastBuildDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 15:24:36 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en</language> <sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency> <generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1</generator> <item><title>The 2009 College Football Wizard Awards</title><link>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/12/23/the-2009-college-football-wizard-awards/</link> <comments>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/12/23/the-2009-college-football-wizard-awards/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:15:17 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>MEB</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[College Football '09]]></category> <category><![CDATA[acc football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big 12 football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big east football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boise state bronco football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[college football 2009 awards]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fat phil fulmer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[joe mcknight]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mike garrett]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ncaa investigation reggie bush southern california]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ncaa myles brand]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ncaa myles brand college mascots]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pac 10 football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pete carroll]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Reggie Bush]]></category> <category><![CDATA[roy kramer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sec football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[tennessee vols football]]></category><guid
isPermaLink="false">http://cfbwizard.com/?p=1054</guid> <description><![CDATA[Ladies and Gentlemen – Time to take a break from shopping and wrapping presents… Forget about the tinsel and what to get Uncle Todd for Christmas for a minute or two. Ignore your sibling bragging how your niece is a genius at 10 years old but everyone knows she eats her own boogers. It is time for the most prestigious college football awards on the World Wide Web. It’s time for the year end 2009 College Football Wizard Awards (Please hold your applause) Did I mention the awards are very prestigious? Enjoy! BIG TEN COACH OF YEAR AWARD Coach Rich Rod of Michigan I don’t know if he deserves it&#8230; But all the Coaches in the Conference voted for him, presumably because they just “Love” him. THE POLITICALLY CORRECT (PC) AWARD Unfortunately this is the world we live in…. So, in honor of this plague that has ruined our nation…. The Politically Correct Award of 2009 Goes to the resident King of PC in the epicenter of all that is Political Correctness Enclosed is an illustrated example of why he won….. The below is a photograph of the winner of the award Choking the “Shiite” of an University Indian Mascot [...]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Ladies and Gentlemen – </strong></p><p>Time to take a break from shopping and wrapping presents…<br
/> Forget about the tinsel and what to get Uncle Todd for Christmas for a minute or two.</p><p>Ignore your sibling bragging how your niece is a genius at 10 years old but everyone knows she eats her own boogers.</p><p>It is time for the most prestigious college football awards on the World Wide Web.</p><p> It’s time for the year end 2009 College Football Wizard Awards<br
/> (Please hold your applause)</p><p>Did I mention the awards are very prestigious?</p><p><strong>Enjoy!</strong><br
/> <span
id="more-1054"></span></p><p><strong>BIG TEN COACH OF YEAR AWARD</strong></p><p>Coach Rich Rod of Michigan</p><p>I don’t know if he deserves it&#8230;<br
/> But all the Coaches in the Conference voted for him, presumably because they just “Love” him.</p><p><strong>THE POLITICALLY CORRECT (PC) AWARD </strong></p><p>Unfortunately this is the world we live in….<br
/> So, in honor of this plague that has ruined our nation….</p><p>The Politically Correct Award of 2009<br
/> Goes to the resident King of PC in the epicenter of all that is Political Correctness</p><p>Enclosed is an illustrated example of why he won…..<br
/> The below is a photograph of the winner of the award<br
/> Choking the “Shiite” of an University Indian Mascot in front of a delegation of NCAA ratchet heads and liberal wussys.</p><p><a
href="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Obama2.jpg"><img
src="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Obama2-300x232.jpg" alt="" title="obama" width="300" height="232" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1055" /></a></p><p><strong>MAO TSE TUNG WEEPING MONKEY AWARD </strong></p><p>This award goes to those select people that miss the old dictatorship</p><p>The award goes to…….</p><p>The Myles Brand disciples of the NCAA</p><p>The runner up for this award goes to….</p><p>The idiots that “still” follow former Southeastern Conference Commissioner Roy Kramer<br
/> If you look up “gibbering jackass” in the dictionary<br
/> It says<br
/> “See Roy Kramer”</p><p><strong>THE RODNEY DANGERFIELD AWARD </strong></p><p>The Award named after the late great Rodney Dangerfield<br
/> Is for the Player or Team that simply put, “Get’s no respect”.</p><p>The Winner is…..</p><p>Colt McCoy of the Mighty Texas Longhorns<br
/> He is only the winningest Quarterback in the History of College Football<br
/> His team has only lost one game in two years by a single second.<br
/> He only ran for 175 yards against the Texas Aggies….<br
/> Make no mistake he is a force….</p><p>The Runner-up for this Award</p><p>The Boise State Broncos<br
/> They just win and win a lot….<br
/> Didn’t they beat the PAC 10 Champion this year too?</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> It should be stated the “runner-up” award does not receive a trophy<br
/> Instead they will receive a number of coupons from Papa Johns Pizza.</p><p><strong>SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE COACH OF THE YEAR AWARD </strong></p><p>This award goes to “The Man” in T-Town…..</p><p>Coach Nick Saban of the Mighty Alabama Crimson Tide</p><p>Enough said…</p><p><strong>THE 2009 CFB WIZARD LOTTERY WINNER </strong></p><p>This award goes to Charlie Weis formerly of Notre Dame; for being given 10 million dollars just to quit coaching the Fighting Irish.</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> I wish I had a deal like that one.<br
/> Let me be sure I have this right….<br
/> If I really suck at this job you will pay me ten years worth of salary to quit?<br
/> Ah O.K.</p><p><strong>THE AWARD FOR BEST SPORTS MOVIE OF THE YEAR</strong></p><p>Goes to…..<br
/> Coach Pete Carroll in “Probation” The Reggie Bush Story<br
/> It’s destined to be a classic</p><p><a
href="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/movieposterprobationthewx5.jpg"><img
src="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/movieposterprobationthewx5-202x300.jpg" alt="" title="movieposterprobationthewx5" width="202" height="300" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1056" /></a></p><p>The runner up for this award in sports cinematography goes to……</p><p>Phil Fulmer in “Phil Fulmer and Krispy Kreme: A Love Story”</p><p><a
href="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/PHIL1.jpg"><img
src="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/PHIL1-300x216.jpg" alt="" title="PHIL1" width="300" height="216" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1057" /></a></p><p><strong>THE “I’M RUBBER AND YOUR GLUE” AWARD</strong></p><p>This magnificent award goes to LeGarrette Blount of the Oregon Quacks.<br
/> This young football player put on a beautiful display of “I can dish it out but can&#8217;t take it”<br
/> after his team was defeated and he was manhandled like a ragdoll early in the season.<br
/> Young L-Bee talked mucho smack-O BEFORE the game but when it came to listening to a little payback trash afterward<br
/> he reacted like somebody had stolen his pacifier.<br
/> Nice hook, buddy. Too bad it might have coast you millions</p><p><strong>MOST LIKELY TO BE DEFLOWERED IN THE HOOD AWARD</strong></p><p>Mark May of ESPN wins this award hands down.<br
/> Mark&#8217;s street &#8216;cred&#8217; ranks even farther down on the charts than his football analytical talent.<br
/> With no rhythm or colloquialisms to throw out during his meaningless banter with fellow analyst Lou &#8220;Lugie&#8221; Holtz,..<br
/> Marky Mark was a natural choice.</p><p><strong>THE “SEE YOU ON SUNDAY” AWARD </strong></p><p>This award goes to a player that is destined to play on Sundays……<br
/> The winner is Ryan Mallet Quarterback of the Arkansas Razorbacks.</p><p>This kid is crazy good….</p><p>The Runner-up for this Award</p><p>Goes to….<br
/> Shu Nama-ganahi-ziterada-siutyz-opga-grawsztu of the Nebraska Cornhuskers</p><p>That guy is good….<br
/> But his name goes all the way around his jersey.<br
/> Also…<br
/> Nobody can pronounce it.</p><p><strong>THE BIG EAST COACH OF THE YEAR AWARD</strong></p><p>Goes to….<br
/> “What’s his Name” at Pittsburg…..</p><p>“What’s his name” won since that self serving jackass from Cincinnati left his team in a lurch for the sunny confines of South Bend.</p><p><strong>STEVIE WONDER AWARD </strong></p><p>This award goes to the team or teams with the ugliest uniforms in all of college football.</p><p>The Winner of this Award continues to amaze….<br
/> They consistently conger up color combinations that would baffle a Color Blind person</p><p>For the eighth year in a row….<br
/> The Winner is the Oregon Ducks!<br
/> It is a proven medical fact<br
/> If you stare at their uniforms long enough you can actually go blind.</p><p><strong>BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AWARD</strong></p><p>This award goes to two organizations that have an “unnatural” affection for one another.</p><p>The winners are….<br
/> The University of Southern California Trojans and the NCAA</p><p>Congratulations…..<br
/> You two make such a cute couple.</p><p><strong>ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE COACH OF THE YEAR </strong></p><p>Dabo Swinney of the Clemson Tigers…..</p><p>Not only is he an Alabama product….<br
/> He deserves it for bringing the Tigers back from the brink</p><p><strong>THE LOYALTY AND INTEGRITY AWARD </strong></p><p>This award goes to Brian Kelly<br
/> For ditching his undefeated Cincinnati Bearkats and a Sugar Bowl berth to play the Mighty Florida Gators&#8230;..<br
/> For his “dream job” in South Bend.</p><p>Thank you Coach Kelly for giving us all another reason to hate Notre Dame.</p><p>Welcome to Loserville Jackass…</p><p><strong>THE PYRAMID SCHEME AWARD sponsored by AMWAY</strong></p><p>This award goes to the organization that makes billions and billions of dollars<br
/> and their work force not only doesn’t get paid, and there is actually a cap on how much they are “allowed” to make during the year.</p><p>The winner of the award (again) is the NCAA……</p><p>The Runner for the Award is the……</p><p>The <em>NIKE </em>Corporation…<br
/> Got to love that cheap underage age Asian labor, am I right?</p><p><strong>BIG 12 COACH OF THE YEAR</strong></p><p>Coach Bo of Nebraska…..</p><p>I told you they would be a force to be reckoned with…<br
/> No need to thank me…</p><p><strong>THE DRUNKEN CRACK WHORE AWARD </strong></p><p>This prestigious award goes to<br
/> Person or persons or organizations that spend money like there is no tomorrow</p><p>This year after careful deliberations and recounting the numerous ballots<br
/> it has been determined the winner or winners (if you will) of this prestigious award ends in a tie.</p><p>The “Winners” of this award are….<br
/> The NCAA and the United States Congress……</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> Look at the bright side….<br
/> At least the NCAA is spending money that actually “have”</p><p><strong>THE MISTER MAGOO AWARD </strong></p><p>For the first time in a number of years&#8230;..<br
/> This award, which is reserved for teams or organizations that turn a blind eye to wrong doing&#8230;..<br
/> Does not go to the University of Tennessee Volunteers.</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> I know I was shocked too</p><p>The winner of this award goes to a person “and” an organization.</p><p>To the Commissioner of the PAC 10 Conference<br
/> and Athletic Director Mike “Hear No Evil, See No Evil” Garret of the University of Southern California Trojans<br
/> for refusing and ignoring the numerous infractions committed by the Trojan athletic department.</p><p>I will have something out for you all tomorrow afternoon<br
/> Just in time for Christmas…</p><p>So stay tuned….</p><p><strong>RTR<br
/> MEB</strong></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/12/23/the-2009-college-football-wizard-awards/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>8</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>College Football Pre-Season Extravaganza II</title><link>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/08/07/college-football-pre-season-extravaganza-ii/</link> <comments>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/08/07/college-football-pre-season-extravaganza-ii/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:55:22 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>MEB</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[College Football '09]]></category> <category><![CDATA[acc football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[alabama crimson tide football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[auburn tigers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big 10 football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big 12 football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big east football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[florida state seminole football violations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[michigan football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ncaa investigation reggie bush southern california troj]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ncaa myles brand college mascots]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ohio state buckeyes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pac 10 footbal]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sec football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[SMU Mustangs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[texas longhorns]]></category> <category><![CDATA[university of tennessee vol football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Virginia tech hokies football]]></category><guid
isPermaLink="false">http://cfbwizard.com/?p=638</guid> <description><![CDATA[Ladies and Gentlemen – I’m glad you all enjoyed your first installment of the 2009 College Football Preseason Extravaganza. But last week’s installment was like Diet Pepsi compared to this week… Let’s move on to the “real” thing…. And discuss who will win the Conference Championships… As well as the ultimate prize… A trip to Pasadena and a shot at the National Championship…. Enjoy…. FAMOUS COACH’S QUOTE &#8220;With the little bits of information that I have, no, I&#8217;m not worried about that one bit. I&#8217;m more concerned about helping the process and cooperating to make sure that everything comes to the front. I&#8217;m confident that&#8217;s not where this is going.&#8221; … In an interview on May 2, 2006 with USA Today and the Associated Press, Coach Pete Carroll of U$C talks about the possibility of U$C forfeiting games or being hit with NCAA sanctions. GREAT COLLEGE FOOTBALL TRADITIONS As we have discussed in the past…. College football is as much about the pageantry and fan involvement as it is about the game. With that in mind let’s take a look at some of the lesser known traditions in college football: INDIANIA UNIVERSITY: Hoosier fans show up at the stadium “a [...]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Ladies and Gentlemen – </strong></p><p>I’m glad you all enjoyed your first installment of the 2009 College Football Preseason Extravaganza.<br
/> But last week’s installment was like Diet Pepsi compared to this week…<br
/> Let’s move on to the “real” thing….<br
/> And discuss who will win the Conference Championships…</p><p>As well as the ultimate prize…<br
/> A trip to Pasadena and a shot at the National Championship….</p><p><strong>Enjoy….</strong><br
/> <span
id="more-638"></span></p><p><strong>FAMOUS COACH’S QUOTE</strong><br
/> &#8220;With the little bits of information that I have, no, I&#8217;m not worried about that one bit. I&#8217;m more concerned about helping the process and cooperating to make sure that everything comes to the front. I&#8217;m confident that&#8217;s not where this is going.&#8221; …<br
/> In an interview on May 2, 2006 with <em>USA Today</em> and the Associated Press, Coach Pete Carroll of U$C talks about the possibility of U$C forfeiting games or being hit with NCAA sanctions.</p><p><strong>GREAT COLLEGE FOOTBALL TRADITIONS</strong><br
/> As we have discussed in the past….<br
/> College football is as much about the pageantry and fan involvement as it is about the game.<br
/> With that in mind let’s take a look at some of the <em>lesser </em>known traditions in college football:</p><p><strong>INDIANIA UNIVERSITY: </strong><br
/> Hoosier fans show up at the stadium “a little while” before the game begins.</p><p><strong>RUTGERS: </strong><br
/> Just moments prior to each contest, it is traditional for specially selected Scarlet Knight players to participate in the mysterious &#8220;coin toss&#8221; ritual.</p><p><strong>TEXAS A&#038;M: </strong><br
/> In a tradition called &#8220;yell practice,&#8221; the student populace is re-taught how to spell the word &#8220;defense&#8221; in an exhaustive two-hour pregame ritual.</p><p><strong>IOWA: </strong><br
/> Hawkeye Fans all wear black or yellow sweatpants.</p><p><strong>MICHIGAN STATE: </strong><br
/> The entire student body comes down onto the field after every game and runs in circles until they collapse from dizziness.</p><p><strong>PRINCETON: </strong><br
/> On the morning before each game, hordes of Tiger fans gather together to hold hands and close their eyes tightly and imagine what it must have been like to win the first national championship</p><p><strong>STANFORD: </strong><br
/> Cardinal fans are too smart to believe they can affect the outcome of the football game, so they don’t do anything. Including attending the game…</p><p><strong>MICHIGAN:</strong><br
/> A new tradition this year, students, players, and fans will surely be pumped seeing former coach  Lloyd Carr’s skull mounted above the home team&#8217;s sideline</p><p><strong>NOTRE DAME: </strong><br
/> As they leave the locker room, players reverently touch a sign reading..<br
/> &#8220;Act Like A Smug Arrogant Bastard Despite Playing For A Drastically Overrated Team That Isn&#8217;t Even in the top Twenty”.</p><p><strong>MASCOT NEWS<br
/> TENNESSEE </strong></p><p>Before we unveil the “new” University of Tennessee dog mascot it is important to do a quick review of the universities current mascots.<br
/> In no particular order the University of Tennessee mascots:</p><p>Mountain Man: Despite the fact they are neither the “Mountaineers” nor the “Mountain Men” this hasn’t stopped the University from having a student dressed like Fess Parker running along the sidelines with a musket.</p><p>Orange: Although the only fruits that are grown in the state of Tennessee are more of the “two-legged” variety and as we all know, the university doesn’t have a nickname after this tasty citrus fruit, hasn’t prevented the University from having a student arrayed in a foam rubber “Orange” costume to delight the crowd on the sidelines of Volunteer football games.</p><p>Student (Male) Smokey: Even though the universities athletic teams aren’t called the “Bulldogs”, “Pluto’s” or “Hound Dogs”, the university has a lucky student in a foam rubber costume of a dog leading the crowd in cheers at all the university athletic events.</p><p>Student (Female) Smokey: Please see description above…<br
/> As an added note: the University was concerned what the perception of having a “single” Foam Rubber “male” dog might look to the alumni and fans so they decided to have a “female” counterpart Foam Rubber Dog costumed mascot to accompany the male.</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> The idea to have a “female” dog replaced the first idea of an accompanying mascot…<br
/> The First Idea was to neuter the male foam rubber costumed mascot….<br
/> I understand there is a pending lawsuit…</p><p>Now Ladies and Gentlemen….<br
/> The Winner of the “new” Tennessee Dog mascot is…..</p><p>A tie…..</p><p>The three hounds pictured below were selected, as was described by the University of Tennessee Athletic Department, as having….<br
/> “The Look of the Tennessee Volunteer Fan Base….”</p><p>Enjoy….</p><p><img
src="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Tennesee20Fans1.jpg" alt="Tennesee20Fans1" title="Tennesee20Fans1" width="799" height="472" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-640" /></p><p><strong>COLLEGE FOOTBALLTEAM NEWS</strong></p><p><strong>FLORIDA: </strong>No need to continually thank me for picking you to win the National Title last year. Frankly the adulation embarrasses me.</p><p><strong>NCAA:</strong> Many of you have written me concerning my recent articles on the NCAA Nazi’s forcing Universities and Colleges to change their mascots and nicknames.<br
/> Some of you have requested the names of the NCAA committee that has been responsible for determining what “is” or what “isn’t” racist or demeaning in college football.<br
/> Unfortunately I have been unsuccessful in getting the names of all the committee members.<br
/> However, I do have a photograph of the NCAA committee on mascots as they prepare to execute an unnamed college mascot.</p><p><img
src="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/NCAAstaff.jpg" alt="NCAAstaff" title="NCAAstaff" width="600" height="368" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-641" /></p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> Have no fear my dear readers and fellow animal lovers…<br
/> I am sure the bear in question was a racist…</p><p><strong>FLORIDA STATE:</strong> The Administration of FSU and the Attorney General of the State of Florida are suing the NCAA for not complying with the States Open Record Laws concerning public institutions.</p><p>The NCAA responded by saying….<br
/> “We (The NCAA) can’t be forced to release documents in Florida State University’s appeal of sanctions because we (The NCAA) are not covered by the state’s public records law.”</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> Not required to follow state law?<br
/> So an organization in this country that requires universities and colleges from all 50 states to pay them, doesn’t have to comply with state laws? <em>Really?</em></p><p><strong>TENNESSEE:</strong> Recently the University of Tennessee announced that they will place billboards in the state of Florida to entice people to considering going to Tennessee.<br
/> The funny thing is….<br
/> I thought Tennessee always had billboards in Florida….<br
/> They say…<br
/> “See Rock City”</p><p><strong>COLORADO:</strong> I want to take this opportunity to thank the University of Colorado for releasing my sister-in-law from her Buffalo “stunt double” mascot contract.<br
/> This will give her a chance to pursue her acting career in the “Messing with Sasquatch” beef jerky commercials. Also thank you for not pursuing that lawsuit after she gored that kid at the opening of that grocery store last year with her “calcium deposits”.</p><p><strong>TEXAS A&#038;M:</strong> You are still my favorite Agro-Americans.</p><p><strong>VIRGINIA TECH: (CORRECTION)</strong> I erroneously reported in answering an email some weeks back that the “Hokey Pokey” was “not what it was all about…”<br
/> However, it has come to my attention….<br
/> That in Blacksburg Virginia, the home of the Mighty Virginia Tech Hokies, that the term has another meaning.<br
/> This term is also an accepted “pick-up” line for Virginia Tech students and alumni.<br
/> Proposed as a question…<br
/> “Hokey Pokey?”</p><p>Hope this cleared up any misunderstanding…</p><p><strong>AUBURN:</strong> I want to address rumors and innuendos that have been circulating from the Auburn campus and reverberating around the college football landscape.<br
/> Coach Wayne Bolt of Auburn is NOT Howdy Doody.<br
/> I hope this has cleared up any misunderstanding.</p><p>Coach Wayne Bolt</p><p><img
src="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Wayne-Bolt.jpg" alt="Wayne Bolt" title="Wayne Bolt" width="150" height="187" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-642" /></p><p><strong>CHATTANOOGA: </strong>I cannot in good conscience promote a “raciest shoe” university.<br
/> Or “Racist Shoe U” as they will now be called….</p><p><strong>ALABAMA:</strong> The Tide is appealing their loss of 21 wins by the NCAA by comparing similar cases involving Ball State, Temple, Weber State and Texas State. All but Temple were cited for lack of institutional control and the cases themselves involved more athletes than was involved at Alabama.<br
/> Yet none of the above named schools had to vacate wins.</p><p>Alabama was found guilty of the lesser violation of failure to monitor.<br
/> If the NCAA doesn’t demonstrate some consistency in their rulings here…<br
/> I simply say…<br
/> If this doesn’t succeed, I say we secede.</p><p><strong>BIG ELEVEN, I mean BIG TEN</strong><br
/> Just one last question for the Conference big wigs…<br
/> If there are ELEVEN teams in the conference, then why is it called The BIG TEN?</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> How difficult can it be to get a math degree from one of these schools? If you have 13 + 28 and you say 14 can you still get a passing grade?<br
/> (Tennessee Fans Take Note: that is <em>Incorrect</em>)</p><p><strong>PAC 10 Conference:</strong> Follow along closely…<br
/> The reason you are not respected in the college football world is simple…<br
/> You have a weak football conference that as a general rule won’t play anybody outside your conference unless they have the words “Academy” or “Design” in their school name. Lastly, you insist on playing your games at 2330 EST on Saturday night and frankly the rest of the college football world is too hung over to care.</p><p><strong>PRE-SEASON EMAILS QUESTIONS &#038; ANSWERS</strong></p><p><strong>Q:</strong> Dear Mr. Wizard<br
/> I think I may be able to help you and our readers with a vexing problem.<br
/> I recently conducted a lecture on Dielectrophoretic Manipulation of Nanoparticles,<br
/> And it occurred to me….<br
/> The sycophantic arguments on the Bowl Championship Series can easily be disproven utilizing a mathematical theory similar in structure to the theory of Hydrodynamics.<br
/> What do you think about my hypothesis?<br
/> Dr. Timothy – John Hopkins University</p><p><strong>A:</strong> Honestly….<br
/> I didn’t understand a damn thing after “Dear Mr. Wizard…”</p><p><strong>Q:</strong> Dear Sir,</p><p>First, let me start off by saying that I am in no way affiliated with the NCAA or it’s fine staff of administrators and investigators. I do, however, find it rather appalling that you have this “vendetta”, if you will, against the head of this fine organization, Mr. Myles Brand.  You have spent an obviously, exorbitant amount of time pointing out the alleged errors of the NCAA and, frankly, it is a rather tedious endeavor.</p><p>I must say that even I, with no affiliation with the NCAA, find it rather offensive to say that the aforementioned organization is “arrogant.” One specific argument that you continue to mention to support your supposition has to do with the scurrilous scandal involving Florida State University. You say they exhibit said arrogance by failing to publicly release a copy of the findings of the NCAA publicly.<br
/> Well, my good man, a perfectly simple explanation to this is the fact that the NCAA probably doesn’t even recognize Florida as a state.<br
/> In fact, I believe in a couple of conversations with Mr Brand that the NCAA doesn’t recognize anything south of the Mason Dixon line or east of the Rio Grande River as a state.<br
/> Therefore, with that fact in mind, the NCAA wouldn’t have to recognize any such “state” law.<br
/> It’s all very simple and logical if you think about it.</p><p>Also, your suggestion that certain conferences should secede from the NCAA is quite naïve. They are a truly benevolent organization with only the best interests of the institutions and student athletes in hands. I believe that you should stop all mention of this so that the NCAA can continue to rake in as much money as possible for the benefit of all. After all, it does take quite a goodly amount of cash to investigate all of those guilty parties in the SEC. Also, we have to accommodate numerous dignitaries occasionally, and it would be appalling to have to do so without the plush furniture, exquisite dining, or lavish offices. Why, it cost over $86,000 for the bathroom fixtures alone, from what I’ve heard.</p><p>As I said, please stop the naïve rants and support this fine organization so that we may all benefit.</p><p>Sincerely<br
/> Iles-may Ant-Bray</p><p><strong>A:</strong> Clever Myles….Very clever</p><p><strong>Q:</strong> Dear sir,<br
/> I just wanted to point out something that I found quite ironic…..<br
/> You can’t spell NAACP without NCAA. How weird is that?<br
/> And how about this while we are on the subject….<br
/> They are <em>two</em> of the most biased organizations in America…<br
/> They get money and nobody knows where it goes….<br
/> They Both Hate Southerners….<br
/> AND..<br
/> One will make you a victim and the other lives off of playing it up as a victim.<br
/> Biff in Buckhead, Georgia</p><p><strong>A: </strong>Damn fine points sir…..</p><p><strong>Q:</strong> Mike, despite what the idiots at the NCAA say…<br
/> There is nothing racist about wearing a pair of moccasins…<br
/> In fact they are very comfortable…<br
/> I and Others enjoy wearing them around the house…<br
/> Dave – Little Rock, Arkansas</p><p><strong>A:</strong> Sounds like to me you are “comfortable” being a racist….<br
/> Damn racist shoe wearing people….</p><p><strong>Q:</strong> My name Anh Dung and I read article on mascots and NCAA you write.<br
/> My family here and I agree. You so right!<br
/> We want address to write NCAA to have mascot remove from Naval Academy.<br
/> Why you say?<br
/> Navy goat remind me of Ho Chi Min and communism.<br
/> I look in the eyes of goat and see communist evil.<br
/> Also Navy pilots almost bomb us back to Stone Age in war, destroy many things.<br
/> Navy goat mascot must go!<br
/> Anh Dung – San Francisco, California</p><p><strong>A:</strong> Would it be safe to say considering your last name to state<br
/> That you are full of &#8220;Dung&#8221;&#8230;.</p><p><strong>THE CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS</strong></p><p><strong>BIG TEN,</strong> sorry I mean <strong>ELEVEN. </strong><br
/> The Ohio State Buckeyes are the team to beat: Period.<br
/> However, do not count out Jo Pa…….<br
/> With the Buckeyes traveling to Happy Valley this year anything can happen.</p><p>The other threat to Buckeye supremacy will come from the Badgers of Wisconsin..<br
/> Despite having a mascot that looks like a weasel on steroids, the badgers have a favorable schedule and could upset a number of teams before the season is over.</p><p>Illinois minus Chief Illini (Because he is a racist…) will make some teams sweat and they will most assuredly be in a major bowl game this year.</p><p>Iowa will continue to disappoint….<br
/> Michigan…(See “Iowa” above..)</p><p><strong>BIG 12</strong><br
/> Nebraska will win the North Division of the BIG 12 this year….<br
/> That’s right I said it….<br
/> The Cornhuskers have a brutal schedule but they will get it done…<br
/> Remember you heard it here first…</p><p>The South Division will be decided in the Red River Shoot Out when Oklahoma squares off against Texas. Who ever wins the Red River Shoot Out could run the tables and I do mean all of them.<br
/> My guess?<br
/> The Eyes of Texas are Upon Me so I have to be careful….<br
/> The Mighty Longhorns….</p><p>But make no mistake; the Cowboys of Oklahoma State will make a lot of noise this year.<br
/> And yes…..<br
/> The Red Raiders of Texas Tech will still be dangerous….</p><p><strong>SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE</strong><br
/> The game of the year will be an early one…..<br
/> The night of October 10th in Death Valley….<br
/> The Florida Gators will Visit the LSU Fightn’ Tigers….<br
/> This may decide it all ladies and gentlemen….</p><p>That aside…..<br
/> My Prognostication is simple as well as bias…<br
/> The Florida Gators will win the Eastern Division of the Conference….<br
/> The Alabama Crimson Tide will win the Western Division.<br
/> Neither of which will be undefeated when they meet in Atlanta…</p><p>The Conference Champion will head to Pasadena……<br
/> It will be the Mighty Florida Gators…..</p><p><strong>ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE</strong><br
/> Remember that you heard it here first.<br
/> The Virginia Tech Hokies will win it all in the ACC this year….<br
/> However…<br
/> There are several teams that will upset and otherwise disrupt Championship plans…<br
/> The Clemson Tigers….<br
/> The Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech…<br
/> The Hurricanes of Miami….<br
/> And as always….<br
/> Coach Bobby’s Seminoles….</p><p>My Upset Sleeper…The Tar Heels of North Carolina…<br
/> Don’t count them out of any game this year…</p><p><strong>CONFERENCE USA</strong><br
/> Contrary to recent reports….<br
/> The Southern Miss Golden Eagles will win the Eastern Division of the Conference..<br
/> Followed Closely…very closely by East Carolina..<br
/> The Western Division will be ruled by the Houston Cougars…<br
/> Believe it….<br
/> And the Cougars will win the Conference title this year……</p><p>My Proud Ponies of SMU will be better than advertised….<br
/> As will the Tulsa Golden Hurricanes…<br
/> Which I still think their nickname sounds nasty…</p><p>But as a side note….<br
/> My Favorite Football movie of late is still….<br
/> “We Are Marshall”</p><p>My buddy Matthew McConaughey is in it….<br
/> If you haven’t seen it, you don’t know what you are missing…</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE: </strong><br
/> Ladies I will not get you Matthew’s autograph or send him any “items” that you forward to me…<br
/> So please stop asking….<br
/> Same goes for you “guys” on the west coast…<br
/> Stop it, you’re creeping me out…</p><p><strong>PAC 10</strong><br
/> Be prepared to be shocked…</p><p>The Oregon State Beavers will win the PAC 10 Title this year….<br
/> Followed closely by the Devils from the Sun at Arizona State and the U$C Trojans…<br
/> Believe it….</p><p><strong>BIG EAST</strong><br
/> This year the competition in the conference has never been tougher…<br
/> West Virginia….<br
/> Louisville….<br
/> Cincinnati….<br
/> Pittsburgh….<br
/> South Florida…<br
/> Connecticut …<br
/> Anyone of these teams has the ability to take the conference championship…</p><p>My Take….<br
/> Friday Night on November 27th in Morgantown West Virginia…<br
/> Light those couches…<br
/> The Mountaineers will win the Big East Conference Title..</p><p>Do not count out South Florida….And that’s NO Bull….</p><p>But as a side note, Syracuse will continue to be beaten like dirty rug….</p><p><strong>WESTERN ATHLETIC CONFERENCE</strong><br
/> Remember you read it here first…..<br
/> The Broncos of Boise State will win the Conference Title this year…….<br
/> Finish the season….Undefeated and be in the mix for the National Title.<br
/> Believe it……</p><p><strong>MOUNTAIN WEST </strong><br
/> The Horned Frogs of Texas Christian University will take the Conference Title this year…But they will not get away undefeated.<br
/> Hot on the tail of the Frogs will be Utah and Brigham Young University…<br
/> One hiccup by the Frogs and one of these teams will leap frog to the top…</p><p><strong>EDITORS NOTE:</strong> You may be asking yourself….<br
/> Why is My Favorite College Football Prognosticator picking these Conferences this year? I got two words for you…..<br
/> “Sugar Bowl”</p><p><strong>THE ARMED FORCES TROPHY</strong></p><p>The winner of the 2009 Armed Forces Trophy will be….<br
/> I will give you a hint….<br
/> It rhymes with “Wavy”…..</p><p><strong>INDEPENDENTS</strong><br
/> This is one is always too easy for me…..<br
/> Let’s see who we have to choose from?<br
/> There is Notre Dame…..<br
/> Hoobastank State…..<br
/> Roy Rogers Western Wear Academy….<br
/> Armadillo Taxidermy College….</p><p>Although I really like Roy Rogers I will have to go with the Boy’s from South Bend.</p><p><strong>THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP…….</strong><br
/> The Rose Bowl in Pasadena California……<br
/> You will have to wait until next week&#8230;&#8230;</p><p>So stay Tuned….<br
/> Only 27 more days until Kickoff</p><p><strong>RTR<br
/> MEB </strong></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/08/07/college-football-pre-season-extravaganza-ii/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item><title>The NCAA and Racial Profiling</title><link>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/07/29/the-ncaa-and-racial-profiling/</link> <comments>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/07/29/the-ncaa-and-racial-profiling/#comments</comments> <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2009 16:11:18 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator>MEB</dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[College Football '09]]></category> <category><![CDATA[acc football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big 10 football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big 12 football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[college football mascots]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ncaa myles brand college mascots]]></category> <category><![CDATA[nebraska cornhusker football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sec football]]></category> <category><![CDATA[secede from the ncaa]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ut chattanooga]]></category><guid
isPermaLink="false">http://cfbwizard.com/?p=613</guid> <description><![CDATA[Ladies and Gentlemen – With all the talk recently in the news about racial profiling, It occurred to me that the NCAA has done just that recently in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I know it’s painful my friends but we simply must address it. I am sure we will all find this a “teachable moment…” So please read on… First a little background…. Chattanooga Tennessee is located on the banks of the beautiful Tennessee River. The major university in that city… University of Tennessee at Chattanooga is located in the city near the bend in the river called “Moccasin Bend”. It has been called that since time began. The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga’s mascot “was” the Moccasins, as in Moccasin Snakes or Moccasin Bend. But the folks at the NCAA saw it differently…. A “moccasin” is a shoe or footwear known to be worn by Native Americans and thusly any reference to that article of clothing or outerwear construes disrespect to our Native Americans. So the university was “forced” to change their mascot to the Moc’s and have a Mockingbird as the schools mascot. Interesting wouldn’t you say? Enclosed is a picture of the horrible raciest creature… I can only pray [...]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Ladies and Gentlemen – </strong></p><p>With all the talk recently in the news about racial profiling,<br
/> It occurred to me that the NCAA has done just that recently in Chattanooga, Tennessee.</p><p>I know it’s painful my friends but we simply must address it.<br
/> I am sure we will all find this a “teachable moment…”<br
/> So please read on…<br
/> <span
id="more-613"></span><br
/> First a little background….<br
/> Chattanooga Tennessee is located on the banks of the beautiful Tennessee River.<br
/> The major university in that city…<br
/> University of Tennessee at Chattanooga is located in the city near the bend in the river called “Moccasin Bend”. It has been called that since time began.</p><p>The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga’s mascot “was” the Moccasins, as in Moccasin Snakes or Moccasin Bend.<br
/> But the folks at the NCAA saw it differently….<br
/> A “moccasin” is a shoe or footwear known to be worn by Native Americans and thusly any reference to that article of clothing or outerwear construes disrespect to our Native Americans.</p><p>So the university was “forced” to change their mascot to the Moc’s and have a Mockingbird as the schools mascot.<br
/> Interesting wouldn’t you say?</p><p>Enclosed is a picture of the horrible raciest creature…<br
/> I can only pray that none you fine readers have such racist filth in your closets…<br
/> <img
src="http://cfbwizard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/MOC.jpg" alt="MOC" title="MOC" width="600" height="283" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-614" /></p><p>So if I understand this correctly….<br
/> You can “Racially Profile” someone by their footwear?<br
/> A shoe is <em>racist</em>?</p><p>If I go barefooted to work will that identify me as an Appalachian – American?</p><p>Can I still wear my black oxfords to work or am I even “allowed” too?</p><p>It’s time to think about changing your mascot Nebraska fans before someone in Indianapolis says the Indians “invented” maze and forces you to change your nickname from the Corn Huskers to the Peanut Benders.</p><p>Well that wouldn’t work either would it?<br
/> You would have the folks at Skippy and the descendents of George W. Carver on your butt like white on Wonder Bread.</p><p>If you think this is stupid….<br
/> It’s not nearly as <em>stupid</em> as the idiots at the NCAA determining that a reference to a damn “shoe” constitutes racism.</p><p>Enough is <em>enough</em>….</p><p>The time to secede from the NCAA is Now…..<br
/> Come on Southeastern Conference&#8230;<br
/> Big 12…..<br
/> Atlantic Coast Conference….</p><p>Coach Bobby can I get an Amen?</p><p>Your College Football Preseason Extravaganza will be out Friday….</p><p><strong>RTR<br
/> MEB</strong></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>http://cfbwizard.com/2009/07/29/the-ncaa-and-racial-profiling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>8</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>
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