As the sun sets on the end of another year….
It’s time to wrap up the Bowl season
And the National Championship

Safety Tip: For those of you reading this on January 1st……
This column is not written or designed in 3D…..
If you are seeing double
You “may” have had too much of Grandpa’s Couch Medicine last night.

As I set here in my new Urban Myer Flip Flops and prepare to return to Satan’s Butt crack
Wait, I can’t decide if I like these things or not….
Never mind….
I decided I like them…
Or do I?

Never mind….
I will wear one flip flop around for another day and decide if I will keep them.

Before we go any further I want to say
The folks in Lubbock made a bad decision firing Coach Leach..
A Very Bad Decision

You may be wondering what New Year Resolutions I will make this year

My 2010 New Year’s Resolutions are quite simple
This year I will no longer introduce myself as “Gary Busey’s Illegitimate Son”
(But I did enjoy signing all the autographs last year)
I will no longer judge people on their height, weight and color of their eyes.
Instead I will judge people based upon whether or not they like ABBA.
(They suck by the way)
And perhaps most important of all
I intend on taking more time this year to enjoy my extensive collection of…
Herve Villechaize albums of classic Love Songs

These Urban Myer Flip Flops make me jump from subject to subject
Don’t they?
I am taking them off for good….
I changed my mind, I’m keeping them

Have a Great Year my Friends……

Enjoy!

One other thing…..
For you that doubt the soothing power of Herve Villechaize classic Love Songs
Please enjoy the following short clip
And before you ask….
“No” you may not borrow my albums

Click here to view the embedded video.

THE BOWL GAMES

Friday January 1st 2010

OUTBACK BOWL
Tampa Florida
Northwestern and Auburn
With both teams in this game being of the feline variety
I would have thought it more appropriate to have this game
Sponsored by “Tidy Cat”
Never Mind…..
WAR DAMN EAGLE 33-24

CAPITAL ONE BOWL
Orlando Florida
Penn State and LSU
Lions and Tigers O’ My!
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 24-17

KONICA MINOITA GATOR BOWL
Jacksonville Florida
West Virginia and Florida State
In Honor of Coach Bobby’s last game…
The College Football Hall of Fame will display the legendary Coach’s sideline apparel in a special exhibit honoring the Tallahassee legend.
On display will be Coach Bobby’s Vietcong “Coaches” hat, welding goggles and trousers with a forty inch zipper.
SEMI-NOLES 31-28

EDITORS NOTE: I wonder…..
Considering the title sponsor of this bowl game…
Does the winner of this game get something that looks like a Komodo Dragon?

ROSE BOWL
Pasadena California
The Ohio State and Oregon
The Granddaddy of them all…..
The Ducks can go Quack themselves…
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 28-17

ALLSTATE SUGAR BOWL
New Orleans
Florida and Cincinnati
This one will be nothing but Gators…..
Believe it…
MIGHTY GATORS 33-17

Saturday January 2nd 2010

AT&T COTTON BOWL
Dallas Texas
Oklahoma State and Ole Miss
I had some of the best days of my life in Dallas…..
Not that it really matters here…..
I had a variety of headlines for this game I wanted to use…
“The Prairie Wind touches Ole Miss is a naughty place”
“These Rebels are Nutts”
“You can’t beat Ole Miss Nutts”
But you expect higher standards from me
So I will simply say
NUTTY REBELS 34-24

AUTOZONE LIBERTY BOWL
Memphis Tennessee
East Carolina and Arkansas
The winner of this game gets a free oil change and a tire rotation.
Which is nice…
RAZORBACKS 38-17

INTERNATIONAL BOWL
Toronto Canada
South Florida and Northern Illinois
Let me tell you what I learned about Canada….
When the speed limit signs say “80”
They mean “80 Kilometers an Hour” which equates to about “50 miles per hour”
For those you that may be wondering what “80 miles an hour” is in Kilometers?
It’s 128 Kilometers an Hour, at least that’s what my ticket said.
That’s No Bull
SUNSHINE BULLS 28-24

PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL
Birmingham Alabama
Connecticut and South Carolina
Did you know when Lou Holtz says “Connecticut” he spits halfway across the room?
STEVE’S GAMECOCKS 38-17

VALERO ALAMO BOWL
San Antonio Texas
Texas Tech and Michigan State
I believe having a Mexican sponsorship for the Alamo Bowl
Is just plain wrong.
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 33-28

Monday January 4th 2010

TOSTITOS FIESTA BOWL
Glendale Arizona
Texas Christian and Boise State
There is only one thing that can be said about this game
It’s going to be a dandy
HORNED FROGS 24-23

Tuesday January 5th 2010

FEDEX ORANGE BOWL
Miami Florida
Georgia Tech and Iowa
As many close games as these two teams have played this year
Don’t you think “Nine Lives Cat Food” should be the sponsor?
Just wondering…
RAMBLING WRECK 31-17

Wednesday January 6th 2010

GMAC BOWL
Mobile Alabama
Central Michigan and Troy
For those fans and alumni of the two schools seeing the local sights before the game
I need to point out that due to a “funding” problem the statue of Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator at the Flora-Bama Lounge has yet to be completed.
I just thought you should know.
CHIPPEWA’S 33-31

Thursday January 7th 2010

THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Pasadena California
The University of Texas Longhorns and The University of Alabama Crimson Tide
This will be a battle for the ages…..
Lee, It’s two more weeks on the couch for you my friend.
CRIMSON TIDE 33-21

I hope you all have a healthy and happy New Year
Hope to see you all next year

RTR
MEB

Despite the emotional roller coaster the majority of us experienced during Thanksgiving

And I am not referencing Aunt Edna’s bathroom “issues” either…
That’s a totally separate issue…

No I am talking about our beloved college football rivalries
And we aren’t finished yet….
This week we have the “Civil War”
And……..
The Conference Championship Games

But before we get to these and other games….
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was 31 and 14 or 69% during the rough and tumble rivalry week
and that leaves me at 564 and 161 for the season holding steady at 78%.

Not too bad considering it was “Rivalry Week”

Enjoy your games!

Thursday December 3rd

Oregon State at Oregon
This game is called the “Civil War” for a reason….
But make no mistake, there is nothing “Civil” about this rivalry…
I won’t belabor the point here, but last year the Quackers upset the Beavers..
This year the beavers return the “Favor”
MIGHTY BEAVERS 33-28

Friday December 4th

Ohio at Central Michigan
I know Coach Frank’s Bobcat’s have been tough as of late….
But there is something they way Coach Lou Holtz says “Chippewa’s that makes me believe
It might be the way he spits on Mark May when he says it, never mind..
I’m a believer
CHIPPEWA’S 34-28

Saturday December 5th

Cincinnati at Pittsburg
Who would have believed this headline back in August?
The BearKats go undefeated….
Believe it….
BEARKATS 31-17

West Virginia at Rutgers
The only way the Scarlett Knights will win this game is if my Italian American friends “get involved”
They told me that wouldn’t…
So, Light those couches!
MOUNTAINEERS 33-21

Fresno State at Illinois
I know it’s not October, so a Fighting Pumpkin reference seems out of place
Unless you like pumpkin pie, which I do…
So the reference is still good
ZOOK’S FIGHTING PUMPKINS 38-17

New Mexico State at Boise State
Remember when I picked the Bronco’s to go undefeated at the beginning of the season?
Yeah, I was right (Please hold your applause until the end of the picks)
BRONCO’S 44-17

Arizona at Southern California
I heard a really good joke the other day, you want to hear it?
What’s the difference between Coach Pete and a whiny sniveling self absorbed jackass?
None….That’s funny as hell isn’t it?
WILDCATS 28-21

California at Washington
This game will be a lot like the Southeastern Conference Championship game.
Minus the fans, the marquee players, the shot at the National Championship and the television viewership, but other than that it’s exactly the same.
HUSKIES 28-24

South Florida at Connecticut
The boys from Tampa Town have been beaten up as of late
and this game will be no exception and that’s no bull
HUSKIES 28-17

Carson Newman at Grand Valley State
Coach Spark’s Eagles beat my Lions in Florence last Saturday.
Avenging their loss to them earlier in the year and advancing in the Division II playoffs
The best ground game in Division II college football rolls this Saturday
SPARK’S EAGLES 33-28

Wisconsin at Hawaii
I wonder if Dog the Bounty Hunter likes Cheese?
Behold the Power of Cheese….
BADGERS 34-21

Atlantic Coast Conference Championship
Clemson and Georgia Tech
Both teams lost their rivalry games with their instate Southeastern Conference opponents
But that doesn’t mean this game is any less important..
This is the second game of the season between these two teams…
The first game was a wild one…
This one won’t be any different
DABO’S TIGERS 33-28

Big 12 Championship
Nebraska and Texas
The Children of the Corn will keep this one close with the Black Shirts working overtime
But the Longhorns are headed to the National Championship game
Believe it…..
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-17

Southeastern Conference Championship
Alabama and Florida
A Clash for the ages….
My Friends there are no “losers” here
CRIMSON TIDE 24-20

There is more to come with Hootie Snitch and next weeks picks…
So Stay tuned…

Have Great weekend…

RTR
MEB

Today is Thanksgiving….
To most people that means three things….
Family, food and football….
And not necessarily in that order…

We have a cornucopia of rivalries this weekend……
Overflowing with hate and discontent…..
Ah, Good Times…

I can hardly wait to dig in, but before we do
Let’s be thankful for what we have and not grumble about what we don’t have….

For example, I am thankful last week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator…..
was a rather “average” 41 and 11 or 79%, leaving me at 533 and 147 or 78% for the season.
(Noticed how I weaved the weekly statistics in so inconspicuously…..)

All things considered, we all have it pretty damn good

Happy Thanksgiving to you all

Enjoy your games!

Thursday November 26th

Texas at Texas A&M
The Lone Star Showdown
I remember the cheap shots on Colt McCoy…….
and the “down horns” signs by the Aggie players a couple of years ago…..
the bad news…..
The Longhorns remember it too….
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 43-17

Tuskegee at Alabama State
The “Turkey Day Classic” as it is known, has been played since 1901.
Which coincidently is the same year Coach Bobby was born….
GOLDEN TIGERS 24-21

Friday November 27th

Nevada at Boise State
This isn’t a rivalry game…..
It’s just and Old Fashioned Boise State ass whipping
BRONCOS 38-23

Illinois at Cincinnati
Some people are calling for a Fighting Pumpkin “Upset”
I don’t happen to be one of “those” people
BEARKATS 33-17

Rutgers at Louisville
After the Scarlet Knights lost last week to (of all teams…)
Syracuse…
The Jersey Campus was reported to have smelled like old pancakes and shame…
But then they realized they lived in New Jersey, which explained the smell.
SCARLET KNIGHTS 24-17

Toledo at Bowling Green
This is the Battle of I-75 for the coveted “Peace Pipe”
The trophy alone tells you this isn’t a fierce rivalry.
If it was a serious rivalry, the word “peace” wouldn’t be in the equation.
FALCONS 24-20

Pittsburg at West Virginia
The Backyard Brawl
The name says it all…..
Two neighbors battle it out on a chilly night in Morgantown
Light those couches…
MOUNTAINEERS 24-21

Northern Illinois at Central Michigan
This game isn’t a rivalry and it isn’t a backyard brawl…
It’s about Chippewa’s riding the Huskies like midgets in a rodeo
Sorry for the visual….
That disturbed me a little bit too..
CHIPPEWA’S 34-13

Wyoming at Colorado State
This rivalry is known as “The Border War” and it is played each year for
“The Bronze Boot”….
The rams get the boot this year, but not where they thought they were going to get it..
COWBOY UP! 28-17

Temple at Ohio
The Bobcats are playing well, but the Owls are inspired…
HOOT OWLS 33-21

Buffalo at Kent State
It’s Thanksgiving for Goodness sake….
Who wants to think about the “Golden Flashes” this time of the year?
Makes you think about Grandma getting in the dinner wine and flashing the guests
NO BULL 38-10

Nebraska at Colorado
The Children of the Corn haven’t forgotten……..
About the pasting the Buffalos gave them a few years ago…..
in fact they are still down right sore about it.
That isn’t good news for Ralphie
CORNHUSKERS 31-17

Memphis at Tulsa
I would care about this game…..
But the Iron Bowl is getting ready to come on.
Sorry…
HURRICANES OF GOLDEN 24-20

Alabama at Auburn
The Iron Bowl
The name says it all….
CRIMSON TIDE 24-14

Saturday November 20th

Florida State at Florida
This is the Sunshine State Showdown
It is played for the Governors Cup
The Tallahassee paper has reported this week…
Coach Bobby is “ready” for the game….
What they “meant” to say was ….
Coach Bobby is “ready” to go to the bathroom without assistance…
Not that this story has anything to do with Thanksgiving…
But it is the season of “sharing”, so I felt obligated to share.
MIGHTY GATORS 34-17

Virginia Tech at Virginia
In Virginia nothing is as important as the “Commonwealth Cup”
Which by my estimation……
Will stay in Blacksburg until Hell freezes over.
MIGHTY HOKIES 33-17

Miami (FL) at South Florida
Unless you have seen an actual Hurricane….
Loose in your house you cannot discount their power or destruction.
In case you were wondering, “yes”…..
I am referring to the Thanksgiving when my sister-in-law visited two years ago.
The Damage is as yet to be fully assessed.
HURRICANES 33-14

Oklahoma State at Oklahoma
The Bedlam Game for the Bedlam Bell
There is nothing more important today in the Great State of Oklahoma…
Not Births, not deaths, not bar mitzvahs, not anything.
This is it….
COWBOY UP! 31-17

Carson Newman at North Alabama
The quarter finals of the Division II College Football Playoffs
These teams played each other earlier in the season, with the Lions winning.
Different day, same result….
MIGHTY LIONS ROAR 34-31

Missouri at Kansas
This game is called the Border War….
It’s played for the “Indian War Drum” and the Lamar Hunt Trophy
Some still call this a “Civil War”, but make no mistake…
There is nothing “Civil” about this rivalry
MO’S TIGERS 38-14

Georgia at Georgia Tech
Sure, this game is for the “Governors Cup”
But this rivalry is known as “Clean Old Fashioned Hated”
That my friends, sums it up nicely….
YELLOW JACKETS 31-28

Clemson at South Carolina
The game is called the “Battle of the Palmetto State”
Coach Sweeny is an Alabama man….
And that’s good enough for me…
DABO’S TIGER 33-17

Grambling State at Southern University
The Bayou Classic
Have I mentioned lately that I’m a Coach Rob guy?
I have?
Good, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page
ROB’S TIGERS 38-17

Rice at Houston
The Battle for the Bayou Bucket
My favorite pudding gets whipped in H-Town…
Believe it…
COUGARS 43-14

Arizona at Arizona State
This instate rivalry is affectionately known as the “Duel in the Desert”
And it’s played for the “Territorial Cup”
Which I think resembles a bucket of sand….
WILDCATS 24-21

Tennessee at Kentucky
This game has always been known as “The Battle for the Beer Barrel”
And the keg goes to…..
WILDCAT BLUE 33-24

Boston College at Maryland
This game promises chills and thrills…
Who am I kidding nobody is going to watch this damn game…
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 24-17

Wake Forest at Duke
Demon Deacons and Blue Devils….
Kind of sounds like Jimmy Swaggart holding his breath…..
DEMON DEACONS 28-24

North Carolina at North Carolina State
The Battle for Tobacco Road…..
The Heels have a tough defense and State has an amazing engineering department
Yeah, this one shouldn’t be too tough….
TAR OF HEELS 33-13

Texas Tech at Baylor
I doubted the power of the Red Raider’s last week…
I thank everyone in the Red Raider nation for pointing my error out….
I should have known better…
Lubbock is the Home of Buddy Holley…
Enough said, Peggy Sue
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 43-21

Washington State at Washington
This instate rivalry game is played for the “Apple Cup”
Please note…..
If your “rivalry” game has a flower, a fruit or any members of the “Village People”
In the name, then it doesn’t count as a “real” rivalry, sorry.
I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.
HUSKIES 17-10

Ole Miss at Mississippi State
The Egg Bowl….
Few rivalries outside the Iron Bowl are bitterer than this contest….
I can feel the heads of Mississippians nodding everywhere….
I wish I had better news Bulldog Jim….
REBELS 33-17

Syracuse at Connecticut
Not that I care because I don’t…….
But I have obligations too….
HUSKIES 24-21

New Mexico at Texas Christian
I can’t say that I have actually seen a horned amphibian ride a Lobo…
Not even on the Animal Planet….
But rules like records are meant to be broken…
(My personal motto….)
HORNED FROGS 43-10

Southern Miss at East Carolina
I have gotten back in good graces with my Hattiesburg faithful…
So I don’t intend on taking a step backwards at this point….
Let’s face it….
Few things in life are as good as Mississippi BBQ….
A man has to have his priorities….
GOLDEN EAGLES 31-17

Central Florida at UAB
What the hell is a “Blazer” anyway?
Something on sale from the Men’s Warehouse?
That’s a stupid mascot….
Everybody Run! Here comes a Sport Coat!
I don’t get it…
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 38-17

Tulane at Southern Methodist
My Proud Ponies are a “win” a way from going to a Bowl game…
They won’t disappoint me….
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 34-23

Marshall at Texas El Paso
Three simple words here….
WE ARE MARSHALL 31-24

Utah at Brigham Young
This is the “Holy War” for the “Beehive Boot”
I can’t say I have ever put my foot in a boot full of bees….
But I saw this dumbass in Michigan once…
Never mind those people from Michigan have suffered enough…
TWO UTES 33-31

Utah State at Idaho
This game is being played at the home of the Vandals….
I respect people whose mascot looks like a foam rubber Genghis Khan…
THE MIGHTY KHANS 38-17

Arkansas at LSU
The Battle for the four foot tall “Golden Boot”
The past two years it has resided in Fayetteville….
There won’t be a change of address left at the Post Office this year….
RAZORBACKS 34-24

Notre Dame at Stanford
The winner of this game wins the “Legends Trophy”
I am assuming by the title it has Knute Rockne’s skull atop the trophy…
Which is creepy…
CARDINAL 34-31

New Mexico State at San Jose State
I would watch this game but the Animal Planet has a “Thanksgiving” Special
On the dental hygiene of the platypus
Don’t laugh….
It will be a hell of a lot more entertaining than this game…
JOSE CUERVO 34-10

UCLA at Southern California
The Battle in the City of Botox Angels for the “Victory Bell”
Gosh, I would care, but I have to do my laundry, sorry….
BRUINS 33-31

Navy at Hawaii
This game reminds me….
I want to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to “Dog the Bounty Hunter”
I love those guys…
MIDSHIPMEN 34-17

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving….
And a great weekend of college football….

Stay tuned…
There is more to come..

RTR
MEB

Not that we aren’t thankful, nothing could be further from the truth….

This isn’t about being “Thankful”….
It’s about your “Rival”….
It’s about bragging rights
This is “Us” verses “Them”

It’s the “Lone Star Showdown”
The “Backyard Brawl”
The Border War
The Battle for the Palmetto State
The Battle of the Beehive and Golden Boot
The Egg Bowl
Bedlam and its coveted Bell
It’s about the Commonwealth, Apple and Governor’s Cups
It is about Clean Old Fashioned Hate….
It is The Iron Bowl

These clashes will be told and retold for generations
And the Legends of the fall that come from such games live forever.

Let’s take a look at a few of the games we have in store this week…..

THE LONE STAR SHOWDOWN

Texas Longhorns – Texas A&M Aggies

The Name alone says it all….
It’s “Gig Em Aggies!” verses “Hook Em Horns!”
These two fine University’s students, fans and alumni hate each other with a passion.

Case in point, a few years ago Texas A&M produced their fall catalog of classes and otherwise promoting the university
and all it’s fine accomplishments as well as to encourage prospective students to attend the university in College Station Texas.
On the cover of the fall catalog was a collage of pictures of campus life at Texas A&M, from students studying outside, walking to class, football games at Kyle Field, two students with goggles studying in the chemistry lab, but one picture on the cover was “different”.
In one picture a young lady in the Aggie Marching Band was playing the flute.
She had her hands in such a way while playing a particular note on the instrument
that it appeared she was making the “Hook Em Horns” sign.

Please see the example of the proper “Hook Em Horns” sign below delivered by my buddy Matthew McConaughey.

This incensed the Aggie Alumni and they demanded the Catalogs, which had already been distributed by the way,
be recalled and a “new” edition reprinted without the accursed picture on it.

Cost to print and distribute Fall Catalogs: 1.3 Million Dollars
Coast to recall the catalogs, reprint and redistribute Fall Catalogs: 5.6 Million Dollars
The enjoyment Longhorn Fans had from this fiasco: Priceless

Enjoy the short video that has nothing to do with the above story,
but is further evidence of the hate and discontent the Aggies have……
for the Mighty Longhorns from the University of Texas at Austin.

Click here to view the embedded video.

THE BORDER WAR

Missouri Tigers – Kansas Jayhawks

These two states have hated each other since Bill Quantrill burned Lawrence Kansas to the ground…
and even before that, there were hard feelings and hate.

The feelings are mutual and have festered over the years.

I know a number of Missourians who will correct me when I ask them…
“Isn’t Kansas the Sunflower State?”
They will politely tell me there are “Three kinds of Sun’s in Kansas”
Sunshine
Sunflowers
And
Sons of…you can figure out the rest of that on your own.

THE BACKYARD BRAWL

Pittsburg Panthers – West Virginia Mountaineers

This rivalry isn’t as intense as it once was….
But it is still filled with disgruntled fans from what was once “Steel Town” all the way
to the beautiful mountains of West “By God” Virginia.

Not only is this a rivalry for the ages in this particular part of the country, but as a side note,
You have to respect anybody like the Mountaineer faithful
who are willing to burn their “own” couch in their front yard after a win over a hated foe.

THE EGG BOWL

Mississippi State Bulldogs – Ole Miss Rebels

If you are looking for hate, passion and discontent that has no expiration date then look no further than the “Egg Bowl”.

In the Great State of Mississippi with poultry the current king of agriculture….
the Egg Bowl takes center stage this weekend and the rivalry has never been more intense, if that’s possible.

There will be harsh words, fights and more fights…….
and that’s just in the parking lot before the game. Make no mistake, this game is intense and emotions are raw.

BATTLE FOR THE GOLDEN BOOT

LSU Tigers – Arkansas Razorbacks

These two states, schools, fans, and alumni hate each other, period.
They have been playing for the four foot “Golden Boot” Trophy since 1901
But trophy or no trophy, they just hate each other.
Case in point, two years ago when the LSU Tigers won the 2007 National Championship……
there was a popular bumper sticker seen throughout Arkansas that I thoroughly enjoyed.
It read…..

ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS 50
National Champion LSU Tigers 48

Priceless……

THE APPLE CUP

Washington Huskies – Washington State Cougars

I know this is “Big” deal in the State of Washington….
But let me clue you all on in a little secret…..
If your rivalry game has either a fruit or flower in the name
Then it’s not that big a deal outside your own state…
Sorry..

SUNSHINE STATE SHOWDOWN FOR THE GOVERNORS CUP

Florida Gators – Florida State Seminoles

I know, I know….
This is a relatively new rivalry as rivalries go; it began in 1958, when Coach Bobby was only 61 years “young”.
But this game is no less intense than older more established rivalries.
The Gator Nation hates the Seminole Nation and all they stand for and vice versa.

There have been some of the finest college football players to ever lace the cleats to play in this rivalry.
But I think this game can be summed up best by Coach Bobby himself when he said recently….
“You know when Ponce de Leon showed me the fountain of youth he told me watch out for Gators.”

How true, how true….

THE COMMONWEALTH CUP

Virginia Tech Hokies – Virginia Cavaliers

This fierce rivalry in the Old Dominion would mean more to me……
If I could remember the last time the Cavaliers won, but I can’t.

So it doesn’t it.

THE BEDLAM GAME

Oklahoma Sooners – Oklahoma State Cowboys

These two teams were playing each other before Oklahoma was even a state.
It’s Stillwater and the Cowboys verses the mighty Sooners of Norman.
They despise each other with a passion that can only instate rivals can appreciate.
They have accused each other of various dirty tricks over the years……..
From giving tainted food with laxatives to Sooner players to slow them down..(I’m serious….)
To wetting the field to slow down the likes of Barry Sanders….(I’m really serious…)
Throw the records out the window in this one; it’s always a battle for the ages.

CLEAN OLD FASHIONED HATE

Georgia Bulldogs – Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

There are few games that garner more hard feelings than this game between these two bitter instate rivals…..
hence the name of the game, in case you missed it.
The fans of the respective schools can’t agree on anything and disagree about everything.
They can’t even agree on how many times they have played the series.
But suffice to say this war has been going on since 1893, that’s right I said 1893.

This rivalry can best be summed up by the beloved Southern writer and University of Georgia Graduate Lewis Grizzard…
When reporting for the Atlanta Journal Constitution; Lewis left his entire column empty……
The day after the Yellow Jackets defeated his Bulldogs. One whole section in the Paper, blank.

The hard feelings in this one last forever…

BATTLE OF THE PALMETTO STATE

Clemson Tigers – South Carolina Gamecocks

You want a long standing rivalry?
This one has been going off and on since the 1880’s….
But the game itself is the longest standing uninterrupted series in the South.

There have been brawls, fights and riots since this series began
and it’s no less intense now with Coach Steve at the helm of the Gamecocks and Coach Sweeny with the Tigers.

This is one of those rivalries that transcend time and space.
No matter where you go in the world if you are a Gamecock or a Tiger
you carry this feeling with you going into this week, that cannot be defined or described.
It’s about beating “Them”, and being able to enjoy that win for the next year.

That my friends; is what a rivalry is all about.

THE IRON BOWL

Alabama Crimson Tide – Auburn Tigers

In the immortal words of Keith Jackson the voice of college football now and forever.

“There are rivalries and there are rivalries and then there is Alabama and Auburn”

This kind of Hate deserves its own section; The Iron Bowl edition will be out tomorrow.

So Stay tuned…
There is more hate and discontent to come..
Your Thanksgiving Edition of the Picks will be out soon….

RTR
MEB

While Coach Pete and the Southern California Trojans are singing MC Hammer songs
and trying to determine if they are “Too Legit to Quit”, the rest of us will roll into the Week 12 Picks.

But before we do I need to mention….
Last week your Favorite College Football Prognosticator…
was a substandard 39 and 15 or a rather lowly 72%. That leaves us at 492 and 136 or 78% for the season.

We have some bitter rivalries to discuss and the opening round of the Division II Playoffs
So let’s get to it shall we?

Coach Pete, “You can’t touch this”

Enjoy your games!

Wednesday November 18th

Central Michigan at Ball State
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but….
When Lou Holtz says “Chippewa’s” he sounds just like Sylvester the Cat
CHIPPEWA’S 33-21

Buffalo at Miami (OH)
The Redskins have disappointed me all year, tonight will be no exception
And that my friends is “No Bull”
BULLS 34-13

Thursday November 19th

Colorado at Oklahoma State
In Stillwater they have a little saying: “Buffalo”….
The “other” white meat
COWBOY UP! 33-14

Friday November 20th

Akron at Bowling Green
Another I-75 Battle in the Buckeye state….
Falcons Zip the Zip’s……
FALCONS 31-28

Boise State at Utah State
The Bronco’s are on their way to an undefeated season….
Just like I said they would…
No need to thank me Boise Fans…
It’s how I roll….
BRONCOS 38-17

Saturday November 20th

Florida International at Florida
If “International’s” football team was a musical group they would be Menudo.
MIGHTY GATORS 38-14

Kansas at Texas
I hate to be the one to tell you this…
But Dorothy, you aren’t in Kansas anymore…
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-17

Chattanooga at Alabama
I was very proud of the Moccasins come from behind win last week
But this week, the Tide is Rolling and Rolling and Rolling…
CRIMSON TIDE 45-10

LSU at Ole Miss
This game is going to be a slobber knocker from start to finish
Believe it
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 24-23

Arkansas Tech at North Alabama
The “Wonder Boys” from Tech are going to “wonder”…..
what the hell they were thinking playing the mighty Lions of Florence in the first round of the Division II Playoffs.
FLORENCE LIONS 33-24

Citadel at Georgia Southern
The Bulldogs lost a sizeable lead to the Mighty Moccasins last Saturday
and they will get a terminal case of the Statesboro Blues this week…
Sounds like the beginning of a country song….
Just add train sounds…
EAGLES 34-24

North Carolina State at Virginia Tech
It’s too close to Thanksgiving “Not” to pick the Turkey’s
HOKIES 34-17

Oklahoma at Texas Tech
The Mighty Sooners are going to have their hands full this weekend….
And so will the Red Raiders…..
This one is going to be close….
Real close….
BOOMER SOONERS 31-28

West Alabama at Carson Newman
Another first round Division II Playoff Matchup….
The Tigers aren’t ready for the Boy’s from Jefferson City..
SPARKS EAGLES 33-28

Ohio State at Michigan
The title alone says it all….
There are few games that garner more hate and discontent…
These two bitter rivals hate each other 365 days a year….
Between these two states, there is nothing more important…
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 31-17

Memphis at Houston
My Cougars have dropped the ball as of late…
(No Pun intended…)
But I still believe…..
COUGARS 34-17

Minnesota at Iowa
This Big Ten Battle is played for the coveted “Floyd of Rosedale”
If you are wondering what that actually is, it’s a Bronze Pig statue, ok?
Which makes absolutely no sense to me..
EYES OF THE HAWK 33-14

Harvard at Yale
A classic matchup that absolutely nobody cares about…
Including me..

Penn State at Michigan State
This Big Ten Battle is called “The Battle of the Land Grants”
And it is played for the “Land Grant Trophy”
No, I didn’t make this up…..
I wish it was called “The Battle of the Foster Grants”
And the winner got some cool sunglasses….
JOE PA’S LIONS 24-20

Oregon at Arizona
The Wildcats are undefeated at home in the desert this year….
But the Quacks are on the attack….
If you don’t think so…
Just ask Coach Pete how his quacker is doing?
QUACK ATTACK 33-31

Duke at Miami (FL)
The Blue Devils are doing better than they did last year…
Which is like saying..
Kenny Chesney doesn’t act as gay as he used too..
HURRICANES 34-14

Kentucky at Georgia
The Dawgs will tree the cats between the hedges and leave them blue.
HUNKER DOWN DAWGS! 38-21

Kansas State at Nebraska
The Wildcats got spanked by MO’s Tigers last Saturday…
The Children of the Corn get medieval on the Cats this weekend…
HUSKY’S OF THE CORN 28-14

California at Stanford
This PAC 10 Rivalry is called “The Big Game”
They play it each year for the “Stanford Ax”
If you think I am going against the Tree, you would be wrong.
CARDINAL 43-38

Mississippi State at Arkansas
The Bulldogs are tough and getting tougher…..
But the Hogs are hitting their stride…..
RAZORBACKS 31-14

Arizona State at UCLA
The hopes of the Devils from the Valley of the Sun….
Will melt in Pasadena like a Hershey Bar on a dash board of a truck in Dallas on July 4th
BRUINS 24-17

Maryland at Florida State
There is some good news and some bad news for Coach Bobby this weekend
The “Good News” is that the Seminoles will win this weekend…
The “Bad News” is Coach Bobby believes the Japanese just bombed Pearl Harbor
and will spend the entire game hiding in a bunker near the stadium.
SEMI-NOLES 38-17

Louisville at South Florida
Here is how this works…
The Cardinals just sneaked by Otto the Orange last Saturday in the Ville…
The Bulls were embarrassed in Jersey
The Boys from Tampa rebound against Coach K. this week..
NO BULL 33-14

Wisconsin at Northwestern
Another Big Ten Battle this week and you know what that means…
Yes! Another rivalry game for a trophy!
This game between these two magnificent schools is played for….
“The Magnificent Marsupial Trophy”
I know it sounds important, but it looks like a stuffed possum.
HEADS OF CHEESE 33-31

Purdue at Indiana
This Big Ten Matchup and instate rivalry is played for…..
“The Old Oaken Bucket”
As opposed to…..
“The Semi-new recyclable plastic environmentally friendly repository of Hope”
BOILERMAKERS 28-24

North Carolina at Boston College
The Boys from Chestnut Hill have a problem this weekend….
The Heels of Tar are rolling into town….
It’s like an Oil Spill, except you get your ass kicked in the process.
TAR HEELS 28-13

Iowa State at Missouri
In the Name of Jesse James I will not doubt MO’s Tigers again…
I said that this week and I intend on keeping my word…
MO’S TIGERS 31-27

Rutgers at Syracuse
Now that I know that Tony Soprano is “working” the games for the Scarlett Knights..
This one is an easy pick…
After all, I certainly don’t want to anger my Italian American friends in Jersey..
I might want to go back to Atlantic City one day..
And return in one piece…
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 34-10

Virginia at Clemson
The Boys from Charlottesville play less like “Cavaliers”
And more like midgets on miniature ponies, with little sombreros and chaps
DABO’S TIGERS 33-14

Oregon State at Washington State
Much like Coach Riley……
I am all about the Beavers…..
MIGHTY BEAVERS 43-10

Vanderbilt at Tennessee
There is no truth to the rumor…..
That the latest Volunteer player arrested for shop lifting was in a disguise
therefore it took nearly two weeks for the police to release the report.
In fact he was wearing his football jersey with his name on the back while committing the crime,
the Tennessee Athletic Administration was just trying to keep it a “secret” like they used too.
Glad I could clear that up for everyone…
VOWELS 24-14

Wofford at Furman
This game will be a Battle between two of Chewbacca’s Kids
I just hope nobody gets a hairball….
FURRYMAN 23-17

Kent State at Temple
I’m sorry but every time I hear anything about the “Golden Flashes”
I get a visual image of naked people at the nursing home
HOOT OWLS 24-17

Texas Christian at Wyoming
The Horned Amphibians from Cow Town destroyed the two Ute’s last week…
They will stick the cowboys this Saturday….
Cowboy down
HORNED FROGS 34-14

Tulane at Central Florida
Neither of these teams has a personality…..
Sort of like my sister-in-law
Minus the one foot that looks like a hoof…
the hump on the back, the horns, I mean “calcium deposits”…
but other than that they are almost exactly alike.
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 24-21

Connecticut at Notre Dame
Even a win over the Huskies won’t save Coach Charlie’s job….
But the good news is that Gerry Faust is available..
So, it’s like a “win-win”
FIGHTN’ IRISH 33-23

Air Force at Brigham Young
The Cougars are tough to beat in Provo…
But these Falcons Aim High…
FALCONS 33-28

UAB at East Carolina
What’s the deal with the “Blazers” of Birmingham having a “Dragon” as a mascot?
The only “Dragon” I ever saw in Alabama was when I went on this blind date once..
Never mind, I don’t want to talk about it…
PIRATES 31-28

Texas El Paso at Rice
My favorite pudding gets pounded by the semi-mighty miners…
Believe it…
MINERS 43-10

Baylor at Texas A&M
Let’s be honest here….
Neither of these teams are worthy of a bid to the “Vienna Sausage Bowl”
That says it all…
GIG EM AGGIES 38-34

Army at North Texas
I love Denton Texas, but I don’t have a clue to what a “Mean Green” is…
Unless it’s a kitchen cleanser
Why would you name your team after some thing like that?
What’s next, “The Blistering Bleach”?
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 24-23

San Diego State at Utah
So these two Aztec Ute’s were on their way to a ritual human sacrifice at the temple of the sun God….
Stop me if you’ve heard it…
TWO UTES 43-14

Southern Methodist at Marshall
I do love the folks in Huntington, and the Thundering Herd…
But they are playing against…
THE MIGHTY MUSTANGS 33-24

Colorado State at New Mexico
The winner of this game does get a bid to the “Vienna Sausage Bowl”
Yeah, this game is “that” important..
LOBOS 24-23

Tulsa at Southern Miss
After last week, were I actually doubted the Golden Eagles…
Well, I learned my lesson…
I can’t have my home folks mad at me…
GOLDEN EAGLES 28-24

Hawaii at San Jose State
Wouldn’t you know it….
The “new” season of “Dog the Bounty Hunter” is starting and I am stuck
in Two Buck Tim…
Sometimes, life just isn’t fair…
WARRIORS doing the electric slide over RAINBOWS 24-21

Nevada at New Mexico State
The Pack of Wolves has one of the finest running backs in the nation…
and the Aggies have “Lasso Pete” as a mascot….
Yeah, this one is easy…
WOLFPACK 34-10

Enjoy your weekend and your games

Stay tuned…
There is more to come..

RTR
MEB