Ladies and Gentlemen -
Let’s not waste any time discussing last week….
Why?
Because this Saturday is the Third Saturday in October…..
For those of you that may not know what that means….
I present the following video for clarification…..
Couldn’t have said it better myself young man…
RTR
MEB
Ladies and Gentlemen -
I know….
But Please Stop.. you are embarrassing me….
Just Because I was THE ONLY College Football Prognosticator in the Country to Pick the Texas Christian Horned Frog win (Not an “upset”) last night over the “Undefeated” BYU Cougars is no reason for such adulation…..
I am just a simple College Fooball Prognosticating Genius…
Sort of like “Rain Man”…without the stammer…
Enjoy Your Picks!
College Football NEWS and VIEWS
TENNESSEE: Did anyone see or hear the pregame “interviews” with selected Tennessee Players before last weeks game with Georgia?
In case you missed it…
Here is a brief review….
Defensive Lineman Robert Ayers from Cilio, South Carolina…
“We Ima Heba Go baaa Too Ratba….I sama geaam!”
Offensive Lineman Anthony Parker from Jonesboro, Georgia….
“GOO da bam an da big ga bubba, do da gema too!”
and Last but not Least….
Quarterback Nick Stephens from Flower Mound, Texas…
“EWUS de see moo to harrr, te gema form tut!”
EDITORS NOTE: I am almost certain they are all “Speech” Majors….
TENNESSEE (PART II): Anybody see ALL the Tennessee Volunteer Mascots lined up on the sidelines last weekend in Georgia?
It looked like the cast from “Alice in Wonderland”….
There was a Mountain Man….yet they aren’t the “Mountaineers”
and they aren’t the “David Crockett’s”….
or even the “Crockett’ers”…
EDITORS NOTE: I think the “Crockett’ers” sounds like an Old Peoples Dancing Club…
THEN….
There was the student in the Dog Costume…
and they aren’t the “Dogs”…
or the “Dawgs”…
Or even the “Huckleberry Hounds”…
EDITORS NOTE: Although that is a thought….
Then there is the “Real” Blue Tick Hound…
Yet…
We already covered the “Canine” topic haven’t we?
Did you see the student in the “Orange” Costume?
I know they have a lot of “Fruits” in Tennessee…
But “Oranges”?
TENNESSEE (PART III): I am still waiting to hear from my Tennessee Vol fans on the Trivia question….
”Who was the Last Quarterback to Start for the Vols from the state of Tennessee…?”
Don’t worry….
I’ll wait….
AUBURN: First the “Good News”….
Coach Tubberville fired “Himself” this week after calling what he described as a horrible game last week with Arkansas…
Now the “Bad News”….
Coach Tubberville then hired “Himself” back with a 6 million dollar buy-out clause…
OKLAHOMA STATE: You boys damn sure Cowboy’d Up!
Congratulations on a GREAT Win….
OLE MISS: I have a “Safety Tip” for any Rebel Fans planning on making the trip to “T” Town this weekend…
“IF” any of you Rebel Fans that threw bottles (and yes even shoes..)..and spit on our players after last years game in Oxford attempt the same stunt again this year…
YOU will not get out of T-Town in the same shape you arrived….
That’s a promise…
COMMERCIALS: What the Hell is wrong with the folks from Pizza Hut?
A commercial that shows a Father ”showing” his son how to eat a slice of pizza?
We are not interested in the “Further Adventures of the Wussy Family”…
AP and USA TODAY POLLS: SOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo
The Southern California Trojans are Number #6 in one poll…
and…
Number # 8 in another poll?
I am sorry, I can’t seem to remember…
Who have they played to “GET BACK” into the Top Ten?
Nobody….
“ENTITLEMENT”…..
The Ohio State Buckeyes lost to (by the national media accounts) “The Best Team EVER”…
Yet they can’t get back into the Top Ten….
Why?
“ENTITLEMENT”…..
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: YOU still aren’t on probation? Really?
Who did you have for NCAA Investigatiors, O.J.’s “First” jury?
NCAA: You know what’s coming now right?
“So where is the Investigation into Reggie Bu$h and the $outhern California Trojan$?”
We are still waiting….
ESPN: If you were watching the Texas - Oklahoma game: Then you heard the worse, most uncomfortable conversation of all time during a broadcast college football game between Brent Musberger and Kirt Herbstreit….
KIRT: I love the atmosphere of this game with the Texas State Fair right outside the Cotton Bowl..
BRENT: Isn’t that the Texas Ferris Wheel in the distance?
KIRT: Let me see..I am reading from the Texas State Fair Guide..
The Texas State Ferris Wheel is one of the largest free standing Ferris Wheels in the World at Over 200 plus feet tall…
BRENT: What do you say you and I take a ride on that after the game?
KIRT: What? No, that’s alright……
Looks like Oklahoma is ready to take the field after the time-out…
BRENT: We could relax on the wheel and forget about the troubles on Wall Street and see the lights of Dallas from up there….
KIRT: No, that’s alright Brent I’ll pass….
EDITORS NOTE: Just when you think Brent Musburger couldn’t get any creeper….
He wants to get all “Mister McFeely” with Kirt Herbstreit…..
ESPN (PART II): Thanks so much for adding “another” studio analyst to an already crowded lineup…
Todd McShay..”Director of College Scouting”
Are YOU Kidding me?
Call him what he is…..
Another..
“Master of the Obvious”…
CLEMSON: Although about FOUR years too late to suit me….
YOU made the right decision…
It’s time to get a REAL Football Coach for the Tigers….
One is on the way…
Believe me…
EMAIL QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
Q: Mike, could you start picking some other “smaller” schools in the northeast?
Think about it!
Ben - Dover, Delaware
A: O My Gosh….
ARE you KIDDING Me!
“BEN DOVER”?
I may have peed on myself….
Q: Mike, I know this is not your normal subject matter…
But what do you know about today’s ”so-called”… ”Energy Drinks”?
Are they harmful?
Thanks!
Molly - Fort Smith, Arkansas
A: Molly you came to the right place…
“Little Known” fact we folks in the South have known for years…
Mountain Dew is the “Orginal” Energy Drink…
You don’t think so?
If you drink Mountain Dew for breakfast for four years you can’t donate blood..
Enough said…
Q: I want to thank Hootie Snitch for the smoking hot picture of that “girl” he got arrested with!
Bunch of us done downloaded the picture and got it blowed up!
It’s hanging in the work shed right now!
Skeeter - Dandridge, Tennessee
A: See the below email…
Q: DAMN! Where in the Hell did Hootie Snich find that GOOD Looking Gal?
LORDY I done copied that picture and sent it to all my friends!
Hot damn, I am still all lathered up over that picture!
War Eagle!
Chip - Loachapoka, Alabama
A: It’s nice to know that Hootie has “Interstate” appeal…
Q: Helloo! I want you to know that I enjoy your article!
I read each week!
You inspire me to follow my dreams!
I inspire to be the FIRST Asian Ghost Buster!
YES!
So I go back to Hong Kong and follow my dream!
Chang - San Francisco, California
(Hong Kong!)
A: SOOOooooooooooooooooo
Who you gonna Crawl?
THE GAMES
Saturday October 18th
Texas Tech at Texas A&M
If you have children in the room when this game is on…
Please, send them out to play…
This is going to be really ugly…
As in my Sister-in-Law in a string bikini ugly…
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 38-17
Vanderbilt at Georgia
On paper this looks like a really close game…
But Football isn’t played on paper…
HOW Bout Them DAWGS!
DAWGS 28-17
LSU at South Carolina
Please see “Texas Tech at Texas A&M” for a graphic description of this game…
FIGHT’N TIGERS 31-14
EDITORS NOTE: Sorry for the above visuals, but yes…
They will be “That” ugly…
Syracuse at South Florida
A team called the “Orange” goes to Florida and gets squeezed…
Coincidence?
I think not…
BULLS 33-10
Kutztown at East Stroudsburg
Is Kutztown close to Funky Town?
Just wondering….
Wake Forest at Maryland
I wish I had a shirt that says…
“I Got Crabs in Maryland”…
But sometimes I wish for too much…
NINJA TURTLES 24-21
Purdue at Northwestern
I would watch this game but I have all the symptoms….
That I am getting Disco Fever…
WILLDCATS 24-23
Memphis at East Carolina
I don’t know where either team has been for the past three weeks…
So this is a toss up…
PIRATES 23-17
EDITORS NOTE: Maybe Skip Holtz has been too busy “Interviewing” for the Clemson job before it even became open….
Because he has….
Connecticut at Rutgers
The Jersey (Pronounced: Jeo-seeeeee) Cinderella lost her shoes….
And…..
Mid-Night Powder Blue Eye Shadow…
HUSKIES 27-21
Georgia Tech at Clemson
Everything says the folks from Carolina won’t win….
But this is about “Pride”….
I am a Believer…
TIGERS 23-21
Frostburg State at Ithaca
You know a school is ten miles from the artic circle when they name it “Frost-burg”…
Or maybe….
This is the school were “Frosted Flakes” was invented…
Never mind..
Wisconsin at Iowa
Will the Mighty Badgers lose four in a row?
Not this year….
Believe in the Power of Cheese……
BADGERS 33-27
Nebraska at Iowa State
Did anybody see the “Black Shirts” take the Red Raiders to Overtime last week?
Enough said…
CORNHUSKERS 34-17
Kansas at Oklahoma
My Choice for the “Last Team on the Planet to Play when they are Mad as Hell”…..
BOOMER SOONERS 34-23
Colorado State at Utah
I really didn’t know which way to go on this one…….
But I just got finished watching “My Cousin Vinnie..”
TWO UTES 33-28
Baylor at Oklahoma State
Have I mentioned that the Baylor School of Medicine is one of the finest Medical Schools in the country?
They may need it when this is over….
COWBOY UP! 31-17
Southern Miss at Rice
I wish I could take the Golden Eagles in this one….
and I would have…
But you got rid of Coach Bower…
MY FAVORITE PUDDING 24-20
Ole Miss at Alabama
Let’s keep this one simple shall we?
CRIMSON TIDE 27-17
Southern California at Washington State
The cougars couldn’t whip cream……
TROJAN$ 116-0
Ohio State at Michigan State
This is going to be one hell of an old fashion Big Ten..I mean “Eleven” Fight…
Don’t blink….
BUCKEYES 23-20
Westminster at LaGrange College
“Haw..Haw Haw…”
I just couldn’t resist another ZZ Top reference…
North Carolina at Virginia
I think the world of those boys from the Old Dominion…
But…
The Tar Heels are for REAL….
(Just like I told you they were at the begining of the season..)
TAR HEELS 28-17
Pittsburg at Navy
Do you know who I think will have a “Big” day in this game?
The Midshipman Quarterback….
“Kaippo-Nooa KKahheeakku- Ennhhadda”
That poor boy’s name starts at the back of his jersey and goes all the way to the front….
MIDSHIPMEN 23-21
Hiram at Eartham
If your name is Hiram…
You are harder than Woodepecker Lips…
It’s a Law…
HIRAM whips EARTHAM’s Ass….
MTSU at Louisville
Everytime I see one of these “Alphabet Soup” Schools…
I have the uncontrollable urge to “Buy a Vowel”….
CARDINALS 38-17
Randolph Macon at Emory & Henry
I wish this was Randolph “Bacon”…
Because….
There is nothing like pork products to enhance a Tailgating experience…
I’m Just saying….
Miami (FL) at Duke
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!
WHAT?
Have you lost your damn minds?
HURRICANES 33-16
Army at Buffalo
O.K…..
West Point has “won” two weeks in a row….
Which is normally a sign of the coming Apocalypse…
But in his case I believe it means….
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 27-24
Marshall at UAB
Here we go with “Alphabet Soup” again…
“Vanna Darling could I buy a Vowel?”
EDITORS NOTE: FACT….
When the above is spoken with a Southern accent…
You automatically win the Grand Prize….
Not that is matters here…
THUNDERING HERD 31-13
Stanford at UCLA
Another “BIG GAME” in the PAC 10 this week….
I would watch it too….
But….
“Mr. Potato Head: Behind The Music” is on VH1….
Sorry…
BRUINS 23-21
Michigan at Penn State
The Wolverines “Might” win this game…..
And….
Mrs. Coach Rod “Might” not dress like a ten dollar hooker….
We all know….
Neither of which is possible…
JO PA’S LIONS 31-16
Kansas State at Colorado
My Sister-in-Law “reviewed” the films of her leading the Colorado Team onto the field a few weeks ago…..
She thinks the camera makes the hump on her back look “smaller”….
If only it could do something with that one foot that looks like a hoof…
BUFFALOS 33-28
Arkansas at Kentucky
I can honestly say…..
I have NO Idea who has the advantage here…
Take your pick…
WILDCATS 27-24
Oregon State at Washington
I am not ashamed to say it…..
Damn It…
I Love Beavers!
BEAVERS 34-14
EDITORS NOTE: Please, No Hate Mail this week from people who think I am being Nasty…
I am just talking about the BEAVERS!
Idaho at Louisiana Tech
I think ”Famous Potatoes” are going to get a Cajun Mashing…
DOOLEY’S BULLDOGS 38-10
Mississippi State at Tennessee
I believe Coach Croom’s Dog’s are Hungry…..
and are more than capable….
Of Treeing a Volunteer…
CROOM’S BULLDOGS
Lenoir Rhyne at Carson Newman
If this was LeeAnn Rimes I still think the Eagles would win…
It would just be more fun to watch…
SPARKS EAGLES 34-24
Occidental at Chapman
Don’t they mean “accidental”?
NOW that makes sense….
Missouri at Texas
Everybody thinks MO’s Tigers will beat the Longhorns…
Just like “THEY” all thought the Sooners would roll the Horns up last week….
HOOK EM….
LONGHORNS 38-34
Virginia Tech at Boston College
IF the Turkeys want to have a chance in this game they better get that Big Ole Wang in the game….
HOKIES 24-23
EDITORS NOTE: What Now? I was talking about Ed WANG….
San Jose State at New Mexico State
I think “San Jose” is Spanish for….
I just got my ass Kicked in New Mexico…
AGGIES 34-23
UTEP at Tulsa
What is it with all the Alphabet Soup U’s this week?
TEP-U and Golden Hurricanes too?
Common decency prevents me from commenting on this one…
HURRICANES of GOLD 38-33
Indiana at Illinois
I still haven’t heard back from you folks in Indiana on the name change from “Hoosiers” (Which nobody knows what the hell that is…)
To…”The Gomers!”
With!
Jim Nabors as an Official Sponsor!
How does this sound….
“Here come the Gomers! SHAZAM!”
Just think about it…that’s all I ask
ZOOKS FIGHTN PUMPKINS 34-17
Houston at Southern Methodist
My Poor Ponies have been rode hard and put up wet….
COUGARS 43-24
California at Arizona
I would watch this game but Mike Tyson is going to be on Celebrity Jeopardy…
I hope I get to hear him say…
“I’wa take “People I want to Kill” for 500 Al-wex”….
BEARS 38-24
Air Force at UNLV
Seriously….
What is the Deal with all the Acronym U’s this week?
Next week I am going to combine all the Acronym-Alphabet Schools into one word…
It will be like Scrabble for cool people…
FALCONS 33-31
Enjoy Your Games!
RTR
MEB
Hey Yawl!
It’s me again; James “Hootie” Snitch from Baneberry Tennessee!
And I am….
The Number One Tennessee Volunteer Fan on the Planet!
In case you hadn’t heard..
I had me a hell of a time last weekend in Athens Georgia…
To begin with…
Them cheatin damn Bulldogs beat my Vols…
I know you is a thinking…
How do Hootie know they cheated?
Cause the Dawgs won!
Can’t nobody Beat Coach Fulmer and the Vols unless they Cheat!
Then to make matters worse…
I done got myself arrested in Georgia…
Yep I done it…
Got out yesterday morning…
I got picked up for what they call “Solicitation”…
But I got what you call “Baited”…
My lawyer says he thinks he can get me out of it because like he says…
“it ain’t right to put something like that right in front of a Tennessee Fan and not think he is a going to jump on it..”
I have a picture of the gal I propositioned…
I think yawl will agree, there is NO WAY me or any other orange blooded Tennessee Vol male could have resisted such charms!
Thanks for understanding!
Hootie - Out!
Ladies and Gentlemen -
It’s that time of the year (Again)……
The names of the games alone are enough to make you break into goosebumps….
They are called many things….
The Red River Rivalry or The Red River Shoot-Out…
But the game between Oklahoma and Texas is above all else….
A Border WAR….
Then there is the tussle between the Hedges in Athens…
Between…
Tennessee and Georgia…..
Also…
This weekend…
The Black Shirts of Nebraska Invade Lubbock….
EDITORS NOTE: Have I mentioned that Lubbock is the home of Buddy Holly?
In “The Swamp”…..
The Defending National Champion LSU Fightn’ Tigers are in Gainesville to take on the Mighty Gators….
Jo Pa and his Lions of Penn State take on the “Power of Cheese” in the Wisconsin Badgers…
And who can forget….
Another weekend with the NCAA’s collective head (and ass) in the sand as they pretend we are all going to forget the investigation into Reggie Bush and the Southern California Trojans…
Don’t worry my friends…
I won’t let you forget…
There is a lot to cover, so let’s get to it!
Enjoy Your Picks!
College Football NEWS and VIEWS
TENNESSEE: I have the answer to your Football problems!
The problem my semi-beloved Volunteer fans is rooted in the lack of players from Tennessee on the Tennessee Volunteer football team roster….
Do you know how many “Starters” From the state of Tennessee are on the Volunteer football team?
“5″…..
As in the number “After 4″ and the number “Before 6″….
In case you all forgot…
That is out of 22…(24 if you count the punter and kicker..)
Why is this important?
Does anyone in California or Washington D.C. or Oregon “really” care what the University of Tennessee does or doesn’t do on any particular weekend?
Do they even know where “Tennessee” is located?
Your players from those places don’t care either…
Because they didn’t grow up with “IT”…
If you don’t think this is important then I have a “little” Trivia question for all the Tennessee Volunteer Fans out there….
“When was the last starting Quarterback at the University of Tennessee…..
From the state of Tennessee….”
This may take a while…so I’ll wait.
EDITORS NOTE: The GOOD News for all the disgruntled Tennessee Volunteer fans out there, is that YOU have a “Tennessee” team to pull for in the state that has more than “5″ starters from the State of Tennessee on the Team…
They are called the Vanderbilt Commodores….
CONGRATULATIONS (again) VANDY!!!!!!!
TENNESSEE (PART II): As a side note from the Tennessee - Auburn game
Maybe the Fat Man should have gone to court before the Auburn game and faced the music like he was suppose too…
Ever think about that?
I have…
There is a name for it too….
It’s called Karma…
MISSOURI: SOooooooo Tiger Quarterback Chase Daniel said he was being spit on by the Husker defensive players last Saturday….
The time to complain about that kind of behavior “isn’t” on Sunday afternoon…dumbass.
WEST POINT: Congratulations on your first “Big” Win last weekend since Appomattox….
VANDERBILT: Your First 5 and 0 start since 1943….
The first time you beat Auburn since 1955…..
And Yes….
I predicted it…….
No Need to thank me…
CLEMSON: To My Beloved Tiger Friends and Family….
I feel and understand your pain and frustration…
Have no fear….
Change is coming…..
TELEVISION COMMERCIALS: Seriously….Geico.
KILL the DAMN caveman commercials….
It’s over….
Stop the madness….
I am serious….
WISCONSIN: So the Badger Marching Band was “suspended” because of hazing?
How bad can “hazing” really be with a marching band…
AUBURN: So do you all believe in the “Corso Curse” Yet?
You thought I was joking about that…didn’t you?
AUBURN (PART II): SOOOooooo Ole Ears Tubberville fired the Offensive Coordinator Tony Franklin this week after what? Five games?
There are two ways to look at this War Eagle Fans….
One…Talk about wanting your “instant” Grits?
or…
Two…
When Ole Ears feels the heat, it’s time for somebody to go under the bus…
ESPN: Last Saturday’s College Gameday with Kenny Chesney….
There is SOOOoooo many things wrong with THAT I don’t know where to begin…
We ALL know he was there to promote his “New” Album…
We also know he is trying to be the Jimmy Buffet of “His” generation….
However I think naming your album…
“The Butt Pirates of the Caribbean”
Well, that is just wrong….
NCAA: Seriously….The jokes over!
When are you going to let us all in on the “results” of the “Investigation” into Reggie Bush and the Univer$ity of $outhern California Trojan$?
If your “Investigators” need any help finding Reggie Bush’s Momma and Daddy’s house I will be happy to show them how to use “MapQuest”.
I am here for you…..
$OUTHERN CALIFORNIA: So last weekend Trojan Quarterback Mark Sanchez re-injured his knee during the game with Oregon…
The PAC 10 Officials threw a flag and penalized the Oregon Ducks a 100 yards for hurting a “Hyphenated- American” which resulted in the automatic loss of the game….
I think that is the first time I ever heard of that penalty?
What about you?
$OUTHERN CALIFORNIA TROJAN$ TESTIMONIALS
“The Southern California Trojans defeated the Klingons, saved the whales and made us the kick-ass World Super Power we are today!”
- William Shatner
“I really like that big white horse that this part of the Southern California Mascot….
With it’s long face…big teeth…and wide butt…
I would have sworn I was looking at my wife..”
- Miles Brand: President NCAA
U$C TROJAN$: Seriously…..
Shouldn’t you all be on Probation by Now?
You know…
NO Television….
NO Bowl games…
Loss of 20 Scholarships…
Per year…
For five years…
Loss of your National Championship…
ALL of your wins for those years…voided.
Loss of the Heisman for Reggie Bush…
Sound about right?
EMAIL QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
Q: We saw what u-ins wrote about Peyton Manning last week!
You is innorant as hell!
Peyton is a Saint!!!!
Just like that Old Teresa’s Mother!
If wants to touch them Tennessee players before the game, well then By God we knows he got a good reason!
Maybe he’s a trying to heal them or something!
Cooter - Erwin, Tennessee
A: If you will try and justify those comments…..
Then I REALLY don’t want to know what you would do for a “Klondike Bar”….
It would be too embarrasing….
Q: Mike I am a Proud Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket Fan…
My neighbor told me because I don’t own a weed eater that means I am a Homosexual.
Is that true?
Chip - Atlanta, Georgia
A: Break out your Kenny Chesney CD’s Chip…
It’s true…
Q: Mike, you haven’t mentioned it in a while, but is your sister-in-law still dating that guy with the glass eye from the Carnival?
Sally - Benton, Arkansas
A: I can’t remember his name, so around my house we just refer to him as ”Mr. Peepers”….
But I have to tell you that they broke up. but promised to “Remain Friends”…
Which really means, we may see him “again” at Thanksgiving…
God Help me…
Q: Mike I have a question that I really hope you can help us out with..
We Texas A&M Aggies are having a tough year…
Some would say, a really tough year…
Is there anything that you can tell us that will give us hope and encouragement?
Roger - La Grange, Texas
A: I wish I could help you out Roger…
But when I saw “La Grange Texas” on your email…
The only thing I could think of was….
“Haw Haw Haw…..”
“Have mercy…..”
EDITORS NOTE: I am thankful that I finally got to have a ZZ Top reference…
Q: Mike, why would Peyton Manning “defend” Phil Fulmer they way he did a week ago on the Auburn sidelines?
Thanks!
Chris - Maryville, Tennessee
A: Chris…
I have on good authority it has to do with a “certain” picture involving a “former” Tennessee Quarterback….
A Hamster…
One Bottle of Wesson Oil…
And..
A “Certain” grossly overweight Tennessee Football Coach….
Playing a game of Semi-Nude “Twister” that went horribly wrong…
THE GAMES
Saturday October 11th
Texas and Oklahoma
The Texas State Fair….
Dallas, Texas
The Red River Shoot Out…..
The Cotton Bowl….
This game has all the atmosphere of a gunfight….
My Friends, it doesn’t get any bigger than this….
HOOK’EM HORNS 27-24
Iowa at Indiana
So we go from the “Red River Shoot-out”……
To the Homers and the Eyes of the Hawk…
This like going from watching the Sugar Bowl…
To watching re-runs of the 2002 Mid-American Regional Junior Chess Championships…
Kill me now….
HOMERS 24-21
EDITORS NOTE: If the folks from Indiana will go with renaming their team the “Gomers”; I can almost guarantee a “sponsorship” from Jim Nabors…
Just think about it…
That’s all I ask…
Toledo at Michigan
Must be “Homecoming” in Ann Arbor…
But Please don’t let Coach Rod’s wife be the “Homecoming Queen”….
You have one Ten Dollar Hooker for a Homecoming Queen and that’s all everyone talks about for ten years….
You don’t think so?
Ask the folks in OBKnoxville…..
WOLVERINES 34-17
East Carolina at Virginia
The Pirates right the ship this weekend…
(Thought that up myself…)
PIRATES 27-17
Syracuse at West Virginia
Victory in Morgantown smells like….
BURNING Couches!
Light Em UP!
MOUNTAINEERS 33-14
Minnesota at Illinois
Golden Gophers: The OTHER White Meat…
ZOOK’S FIGHTING PUMPKINS 34-17
Rutgers at Cincinnati
Have I mentioned that Cincinnati is the Chili Capitol of the Mid-West…
Well it is…
If you ever get a chance to try that “Goldstar” or “Skyline” Chili….
Lord…that is something special
Also as a medical side note: IF you are suffering from constipation, you will be “cured” within 12 hours of eating any of the above mentioned chili…
Forget I mentioned it….
BEARKATS 28-23
Colorado at Kansas
I must confess….
These Hawks of Jay fought like the Devil last weekend and….
NEVER gave up….
I like that…
JAY’S HAWKS 38-27
South Carolina at Kentucky
After the Wildcats scared the crap out of me last weekend…
This one is easy…
WILDCATS 24-21
Utah at Wyoming
I love those folks from Cowboy Country…
But Cousin Vinnie says this game is about the….
TWO UTES 28-17
Kansas State at Texas A&M
I have no reason to believe this will actually happen..
Just so you all know…
GIG EM AGGIES 28-24
Vanderbilt at Mississippi State
Common Wisdom would favor the Bulldogs…
But there is something special about these Commodores…
COMMODORES 24-14
EDITORS NOTE: Sorry Jim…I hope I am wrong.
Ursinus at Franklin Marshall
As in “Your Sinus”?
I guess it’s better than “UR-Anus”…
Never mind…
Nebraska at Texas Tech
Did I mention that Lubbock is the Home of the Great Buddy Holly?
I thought so…
“All my life I’ve been a waiting…
Tonight they will no hesitating….”
SO Get THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 43-17
EDITORS NOTE: I have been waiting for the right time to spring a Buddy Holly reference on you…
Arizona State at USC
The Sun Devils couldn’t beat a damn egg….
TROJAN$ 136-0
Tennessee at Georgia
Between the Hedges…
UGA VII is Hunkered Down….
RUN YOU SILVER BRITCHES!
HOW BOUT THEM DAWGS? 27-17
EDITORS NOTE: Many of you may think…
“He just picked Georgia because he Hates Tennessee…”
That is only half the story…
I do dearly Love those Dawgs…
Purdue at Ohio State
It is written….
“And a freshman shall lead them….”
- Book Of Hayes
It’s in the Bible….Enough said.
BUCKEYES 33-17
Notre Dame at North Carolina
I wish I cared…
But I don’t…
TAR HEELS 31-24
Greenville at LaGrange College
“Haw Haw…Haw…”
Sorry, I still can’t get over my earlier ZZ Top reference….
Michigan State at Northwestern
I know…
I Know…
The Wildcats have their BEST Record since 1962….
Bla..Bla…Bla..
But that Ringer Kid is a Stud…
CALL THE SPARTANS 24-21
Texas Christian at Colorado State
Did somebody say TCU is the Home of Bob Lilly?
I did…
HORNED FROGS 28-24
Garner Webb at Georgia Tech
“Garner Webb” sounds like a Law Firm…
I hope they know “accident” and “Workers Comp” Law…
YELLOW JACKETS 44-0
Carson Newman at Catawba
You really can’t pronounce “Catawba” correctly unless you spit on yourself…
Which is disgusting…
SPARKS EAGLES 31-21
Central Florida at Miami (FL)
Must be “Homecoming” in Coral Gables…
Don’t disappoint me two weeks in a row Canes…
Please?
HURRICANES 38-14
New Mexico State at Nevada
The Wolfpack are a really good football team this year….
BUT the Aggies (with threats to the Administration to bring back “Pistol Pete” by yours truly…)
Are something special…..
I am a believer…
AGGIES 43-38
Arkansas at Auburn
If the Tigers lose again I wonder who Ears will toss under the bus?
No need to worry….
It ain’t happening….
WAR EAGLES 24-17
Juniata at Muhlenberg
Sounds like the story of some Mexican gal riding a mule doesn’t it?
Never mind….
Arizona at Stanford
Gosh, this would really be a “Great” PAC 10 matchup to watch….
But the Hamster Olympics are on ESPN 3 at the same time…..
CARDINAL 6-3
New Mexico at Brigham Young
The Low Blows take a shot in the Jimmy…..
COUGARS 38-17
EDITORS NOTE: Yes, I am that easily amused….
Washington State at Oregon State
Unless you are Sigfried and Roy….
Or Kenny Chesney…..
YOU believe in the Power of the Beaver…
BEAVERS 34-14
EDITORS NOTE: O.K. What did I say this time?
I was just talking about the Beaver…
So let it go….
Ball State at Western Kentucky
You may wonder: Will Ball State continue on their Cinderella Season?
Yes, for another week anyway…
CARDINALS 27-17
Iowa State at Baylor
I was trying to come up with a “Bears and Cyclones O’ My” Wizard of Oz reference…
But it just sounded creepy…
Sorry…
BEARS 27-24
Oklahoma State at Missouri
The Cowboys in the rear view mirror are a-lot closer than they appear…
MO’S TIGERS 33-28
LSU at Florida
I believe the Fightn’ Tigers have the better overall team…
But this game is in the Swamp..
And the Gators have Tim Tebow….
MIGHTY GATORS 24-21
Penn State at Wisconsin
The Badgers believe in the “Power of Cheese”…
Well Jo Pa “Cuts” the Cheese whenever he wants….
So there…
JO PA’S LIONS 31-17
Boise State at Southern Miss
After last week’s disappointment…..
(Which (by the way) would NOT have happened if you would have kept Coach Bowers..)
BRONCOS 34-17
Tulsa at Southern Methodist
I only have three words to say about this game…
“My Poor Ponies…”
GOLDEN HURRICANES 43-24
Tulane at UTEP
You say “Potato”, I say…
MINERS 31-14
EDITORS NOTE: I know….
It didn’t make alot of sense to me either (At First)
But after you think about it for a minute..
You will laugh your butt off…
Air Force at San Diego State
This game reminds me of one of my “favorite” selections in the New American Modern Revisionist History Book….
“The American Air Force Bombs the peaceful Ancient Aztecs; thus the term, “Stone age”
This selection can be found before the chapter on “When the U.S. Marines attacked the North Pole and Killed Santa Claus…”
We Americans are so naughty….
FALCONS 28-17
UCLA at Oregon
This game is like trying to pick the winner in a turtle race…
QUACKERS 3-2
Sunday October 12th
Louisiana Tech at Hawaii
This is the Very BEST Game on Sunday Night at Midnight Eastern Standard Time…
But if given the choice…
I would rather watch “Dog the Bounty Hunter”…
That theme music is really catchy…
RAINBOW BRIGHT 34-31
Enjoy Your Games!
RTR
MEB
Ladies and Gentlemen -
Before we get into Saturday’s Picks I have to say…
I am still mad about last night……
I am One and Two on Thursday night (again)?
DAMN it….
This is the reason my average has fallen faster than the stock market the last two weeks…
As you know I was a disappointing 30 and 15 (76%) last week…
Which leaves me at an embarrassing 202 and 51 for the season or 80%.
Hold on for a minute…..
I just said thirty “Hail Bryants”…..
Now I feel better…
Enjoy Your Picks!
College Football NEWS and VIEWS
HAWAII: This message is for Rainbow Head Coach Greg McMackin…
YOU “demoted” Coach Brian Kajiyama?
Shame on you…
NOW I am really glad you are losing…
YOU do not deserve to live in the same state as “Dog the Bounty Hunter”…
I love those guys…
TENNESSEE: I recall the NCAA’s “Big Fat Secret Witness” had this to say about “Why he had a problem with the University of Alabama”….
“That University (Alabama) is recruiting in my backyard (Memphis), and I have to question why anyone would leave MY state for another school…”
- Fat Phil Fulmer (Also Known as the NCAA’s “Secret Witness”)
Really?
Well, somebody better alert the Fat Man because the Miami Hurricanes have gotten some key players out of his backyard under the shadow of his ever expanding ass….
From Memphis too……
Running Back…Graig Cooper
Corner Back…Carlos Armour
Offensive Line….Tyler Horn
Let’s cut to the chase shall we?
Are you Tennessee Vol fans EVER going to be embarrassed by this gibbering jackass’s behavior?
Have you all sold your soul’s for a win?
Just wondering….
VANDERBILT: IF you beat Auburn this Saturday Night…
You all will be 5 and 0 for the first time since 1943…..
I am a Believer…..
CLEMSON: My Tiger Family…I have GOOD news.
This is how it’s going to work…
Dumbass Tommy’s Contract will be bought out by the end of the year…
Your “New” Coach?
Meet Coach Johnson of Vanderbilt…
He IS a Clemson Man…
and will be Your Football Coach in 2009…
Believe it…
NCAA: Seriously, when can we expect to hear about the “Investigation” into Reggie Bu$h and the $outhern California Trojan$?
In the words of Duane “Dog” Chapman…
“I will not give this up until I take my last dying breath”
EDITORS NOTE: I wonder if people that “Google” Reggie Bu$h or the $outhern California Trojan$ ever get tired of seeing the Ole CFBWIZARD pop up…
NCAA (PART II): Has Fat Phil called you all yet about the Miami Hurricanes recruiting in Memphis?
MIAMI (FL): “IF” you happen to see what appears to be an overweight Manatee hiding in the bushes on the Hurrcane campus wearing a “Big Orange” T-shirt…
That smells like ass and potted meat…
Don’t worry…
OR call the Animal Control folks….
It’s just Fat Phil Fulmer conducting another “Investigation” for the NCAA….
$OUTHERN CALIFORNIA: YOU jackasses aren’t on probation or “Looking down the barrel of the Death Penalty” YET?
Really?
I guess that only applies to “Real” Southern Schools…
ESPN: How much longer must we be held hostage to the halftime segment entitled…”Dr. Lou”?
Why we must we be subjected to listening to a 140 pound Tom Turkey spit and slur during the entire halftime?
Lou sounds like Slyvester the Cat after a three day drinking binge….
ESPN (PART II): Everytime I hear Pam Ward talk…
I die…
Just a little bit…
Inside…
PLEASE make her STOP!
ESPN (PART III): SOOOOOooooooooooo….
You all really don’t want to talk about the NCAA and PAC 10 “Investigation” into Reggie Bu$H and the Univer$ity of $outhern California Trojan$?
You do know I am going to bug the hell out of you and talk trash until you do?
Right?
Just so we understand each other…
HASKELL INDIAN NATIONS UNIVERSITY: For the first time in almost 75 years the university is re-introducing football on campus….
Why is this important?
Before this Country’s GREATIST athlete enrolled at Carlisle Indian School….
Jim Thorpe played football at Haskell Prep…..
That football field IS sacred ground…
Good Luck this weekend Boys!
EMAIL QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
Q: Mike, what is your “Problem” with “everything” California?
Juniper - San Diego, California
A: Because you all suck…
I hope that cleared up any misunderstanding…
Q: I have a question for you…
Why do they call Pittsburg State the “Gorillas”?
Thanks!
Chuck - Abilene, KS
A: Have you ever seen their Cheerleaders?
I rest my case….
Q: Hey, I got me a question!
My sister has what the doctor calls “Web” feet.
Does that mean if we hook her up to a computer, that
We is gettin our own “Web”-”site”?
GO VOLS
Stu - Pikeville, Tennessee
A: So Stu…
How close do you live to the Nuclear Power Plant?
Just wondering…
Q: Seriously Mike…
How old is Bobby Bowden?
Thanks!!
Tommy - Blacksburg, Virginia
A: Tommy…
When Bobby Bowden was born…
They hadn’t even invented dirt yet…
THE GAMES
Saturday October 4th
Penn State at Purdue
I would sooner doubt John Wayne than second guess Jo Pa…
JO PA’S LIONS 34-17
Duke at Georgia Tech
This is an imperfect world we live in….
Or…
They would BOTH Lose…
YELLOW JACKETS 31-23
Iowa at Michigan State
I like that Spartan Running Back…
That Ringer kid is a Class act…
CALL THE SPARTANS 23-14
Indiana at Minnesota
Gophers and Homers?
This is what I have to choose from?
Where is David Hasselhoff when you really need him?
OOOO SO GOLDEN GOPHERS 23-17
Boston College at North Carolina State
Not that it fits here….
But did you all know…
That a Boston accent is one of the VERY Best Birth Control devices known to mankind?
EAGLES 24-21
Rutgers at West Virginia
The folks from New Jersey (Pronounced: Newww Jorseee) are introduced to what is commonly referred to as:
A Mountain Ass Whoppin…
Light those Couches!
MOUNTAINEERS 34-17
Akron at Kent State
What a choice I have here…
Zippers or Protesting Wusseys…
I would rather watch monkeys sling poop for three hours…
ZIPPERS 23-10
Oklahoma at Baylor
This game is going to be uglier than my sister-in-law’s Prom Night…
“With” Power Blue Eye Shadow…
(Sorry for the Visual…)
BOOMER SOONER 38-13
Florida at Arkansas
There are few things in this world as mean as a wounded Gator…
Well…
That and my sister-in-law with a Hang Over…
Never mind…
It’s kind of the Same thing…
MIGHTY GATORS 43-10
Kansas at Iowa State
The Cyclones don’t have enough wind to make a popcorn fart…
HAWKS of JAY 33-17
Alcorn State at New Mexico State
Somebody really named their school after Al’s Bunion?
That is just disgusting…
AGGIES 34-14
EDITORS NOTE: Bring back “Pistol Pete”…..
I am NOT Kidding!
Western Kentucky at Virginia Tech
You say “Hill Toppers”…
I say……
“Turkey Feed”
HOKIES 33-10
UNLV at Colorado State
You know what they say?
What happens in Vegas…
Usually gets cured in the Doctors office in about ten to fourteen working days…
REBELS 28-20
South Carolina at Ole Miss
Forget about last week…
It’s a new day…..
GAMECOCKS 31-28
Stanford at Notre Dame
EVERYBODY in the Country Picked the IRISH last week…
TO LOSE…
BUT Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator..
No Need to thank me…
FIGHTING IRISH 28-17
Army at Tulane
Dare I pick the once proud Black Knights of the Hudson?
NOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!
GREEN WAVE 24-14
Kentucky at Alabama
I love my Big Blue Fans…
There are no better fans on the planet…
SO I will keep this one simple…
CRIMSON TIDE 34-17
Texas Tech at Kansas State
Do you know what time it is?
It’s TIME to get those GUNS UP RED RAIDERS!
RED RAIDERS 38-20
Mars Hill at Carson Newman
You know we have a screwed up immigration policy when People from “Mars” have their own college…
SPARK’S EAGLES 38-10
Illinois at Michigan
It’s October…..
Which means it’s too close to Halloween…
To go against the Fighting Pumpkins…
ZOOK’S PUMPKINS 31-21
Arizona State at California
You may call me “crazy”….
So did that “know it all” Doctor…
SUN DEVILS 24-23
Southern Methodist at Central Florida
Say it with me…
MIGHTY..MIGHTY…
MUSTANGS! 33-31
Florida State at Miami (FL)
The Good News?
Coach Bobby thinks he is meeting Woodrow Wilson and getting an award for “discovering” Sea Monkeys…
The Bad News?
It’s STILL Hurricane Season…
CANES 33-17
Navy at Air Force
Didn’t the “Village People” have a Sailor in the “group”?
That’s what I thought…
FALCONS 38-24
Nevada at Idaho
When I hear or read about Idaho I don’t think about football or potatoes..
I remember that girl “Ida” from High School…
She had a rather “progressive view of morals” for her time…
Forget I mentioned it…
WOLFPACK 28-24
Auburn at Vanderbilt
I am not sure I believe it myself…
But I am a Believer….
COMMODORES 17-16
San Diego State at Texas Christian
Didn’t the Aztec’s Kill the Baby Seals?
I learned that from a southern California History Teacher..
HORNED FROGS 38-10
Connecticut at North Carolina
Did you see the Tar Heels play last weekend?
My point exactly…..
TAR HEELS 24-17
Texas A&M at Oklahoma State
My favorite movie of all time?
After “Lonesome Dove”?
John Wayne: The Cowboys.
Enough said…
COWBOY UP! 27-10
Maryland at Virginia
I will not doubt the POWER of the NINJA turtles…
Again…
NINJA TURTLES 38-13
UTEP at Southern MIss
I will let you all in on a little “secret” to picking the games…
UTEP is in El Paso…
Southern Miss is in Hattiesburg Mississippi…
El Paso smells like a used urinal cake…
Hattiesburg smells like heaven…
That’s how it’s done…
GOLDEN EAGLES 24-17
Northern Illinois at Tennessee
By the time the Knoxghanistan Newspaper gets finished writing about this game….
You will think the Vowels beat the damn New England Patriots…
Enjoy it while you can…
YOU all got the Big DAWGS next week….
VOWELS 43-17
Ball State at Toledo
Have I mentioned that David Letterman went to Ball State?
Well, so did one of the best looking women in South Carolina…
So there…
CARDINALS 34-24
Washington at Arizona
I would LOVE to watch this game…
Really I would…
But there is a “special” about Gary Coleman on Vh1 “Behind the Music”…
I wish he would write a song called “What’ Ch-U Talking about Willis”..
Sometimes I wish for too much…
WILDCATS 6-3
Oregon at U$C
In a “Perfect World”?
They would BOTH lose….
By A lot…
TROJAN$ 3-2
Texas at Colorado
What is the first thing I think about when I wake up?
I Remember the Alamo…
HOOK EM HORNS 38-14
Ohio State at Wisconsin
This is the Game of the Week….
The “National Sports Media” believes the Badgers will win this game….
Thank God you all have me…
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 27-23
Rice at Tulsa
I LOVE Rice Pudding….
But (Like I said) it is STILL Hurricane season….
GOLDEN HURRICANES 24-23
EDITORS NOTE: Sorry…that just sounded nasty.
Missouri at Nebraska
Coach Bo will keep this closer than you think….
Keep the faith my Black Shirt Faithful….
The Huskers ARE on their way back…
MO’S TIGERS 34-23
Wyoming at New Mexico
I hate picking the Low Blows….
It’s the same feeling you get when you order something from Tony Little…
LOW BLOWS 13-7
Hawaii at Fresno State
For those that are hearing impaired…..
Let me repeat the earlier statement concerning Hawaii Warrior Football….
This message is for Rainbow Head Coach Greg McMackin…
YOU “demoted” Coach Brian Kajiyama?
Shame on you…
YOU do not deserve to live in the same state as “Dog the Bounty Hunter”…
I really do love THOSE guys…
BULLDOGS 34-17
Washington State at UCLA
I have to change the dirt out of my ant farm or I would watch this game…
Really….
BRUINS 23-17
Enjoy your Games!
RTR
MEB
Ladies and Gentlemen -
Before we discuss the past week in College Football, I want to tell you a thing or two about picking the games….
You see I have been in a rush picking your games.
I admit it…
I am not making excuses…
If I were to make excuses I would use any one of my favorite three excuses.
You know what those are right?
The Sun was in my eyes…
I had a rock in my shoe….
And…
I don’t play well on artificial turf…
You see “IF” I hadn’t of been in a hurry this past week, (Believe it or not)…
I would have picked Oregon State over U$C…and
the Houston Cougars over East Carolina…
Don’t get me wrong..
I still would have missed Navy over Wake Forest…
Michigan over Wisconsin….
Colorado over Florida State…
Iowa over Northwestern…
and I Damn sure would have missed Ole Miss over…
Never mind you get the picture…
Not that it would have made a big difference…
I just would have felt better about myself this week…
NOT that it wasn’t a GREAT weekend for me….
But I will be much more careful (for you) My Beloved fans in the Future…
ROLL TIDE ROLL……
MEB
FROM THE….
WHAT THE HELL? (FILE)
WISCONSIN: What were you cheeseheads thinking?
Thanks for making me look like a complete jackass….
WAKE FOREST: How could you lose to “Navy”? Their mascot is a goat!
You beat Florida State (AT Florida State!) last Saturday…
Then Lose to Navy at home the next….
I am speechless….
COLORADO: Were you all really that un-inspired without my sister-in-law leading you onto the field? I knew that she could irritate the hell out of someone…(anyone)
But “Inspire”?
Never….
CARSON NEWMAN: I can believe losing to “Mayberry”, but “New” Berry…?
CLEMSON: My friends….
I do not have words that will comfort you…
Except maybe….
FIRE TOMMY’S ASS……
IOWA: “Children of the Corn”…my butt.
You all couldn’t scare a class of second graders…
FLORIDA: I am still too shocked to speak on the subject…
Maybe next week…
MIAMI (FL): You all play the toughest 15 minutes of football in the country…
Unfortunately the game is 60 damn minutes long….
HAWAII: The way you play; you don’t deserve to live in the same state as “Dog the Bounty Hunter”…
QUOTE OF THE WEEK (PART I)
“The first thing they need to do is listen to Coach Fulmer and the coaching staff……they know what they are doing..”
-Peyton Manning talking to CBS Sideline Reporter Tracy Wolfson on the Tennessee bench during the Tennessee - Auburn game
EDITORS NOTE: You Tennessee Vol fans ARE smart enough to know this is “damage control” to save the Fat Man’s job right?
QUOTE OF THE WEEK (PART II)
“This team needs to listen to Coach Fulmer and the coaching staff….
They have a plan. So listen to them and follow the plan…
Coach Fulmer knows what he is doing….”
- The second time CBS sideline reporter Tracy Wolfson spoke with Peyton Manning on the Tennessee bench during the Tennessee - Auburn game
EDITORS NOTE: Seriously; you Tennessee fans “DO KNOW” this “Spin Cycle” is all being done to protect Fat Phil’s job, right?
You sure….?
QUOTE OF THE WEEK (PART III)
“I wanted to touch each of the players in a place they hadn’t been touched before…”
- Peyton Manning’s response to CBS sideline reporter Tracy Wolfson when asked if he said or did anything with the Vol Football team before the game…
EDITORS NOTE: Dude, I wouldn’t have said that…
GOD’S GIFT TO THE COMMON MAN
This week’s God’s Gift to the Common man (and woman) comes in the form of the greatest gift to tailgating since the invention of charcoal…
Earl Campbell’s Hot Links…
Not only was Earl a Heisman Trophy winner from the University of Texas…
(Hook Em Horns…)
And a member of the Professional Football Hall of Fame…
He also makes the best damn Hot Links and Sausage on the planet…
Here is one link (No Pun intended) there are others…
Get some today…
There is nothing like them…
http://www.samsclub.com/shopping/navigate.do?dest=5&item=182629
COMMENTARY
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: The Trojan$ lose to an unranked team with a losing record (No disrespect to the Oregon State Beavers)……..
And the Trojan$ stay in the AP top ten….
Did you know the Trojan$ are currently only 2 and 1…..
The Number “Ten” Team is 5 and 0….
It finally occurred to me what bothers me the most about everything $outhern California Trojan$….
The sense of entitlement….
Why don’t they have to “Fight their way back into the Top Ten”?
Like everybody else….
If they were really that good…
Would they have lost to Oregon State?
The belief of the Privileged….
The Trojan$ and their Pimps from ESPN and ABC “believe” the Trojan$ are a team of “Destiny”…and they “still” have a shot at the National Title….
Of course ESPN and ABC Sports don’t think THE Ohio State University has a shot at the title…despite losing to the (then) top team in the nation….not an unranked losing team (No disrespect to the Oregon State Beavers..)
ESPN and ABC have all but written off Georgia despite losing to a top ten footbal team AND falling out of the Top Ten themselves…
Why don’t the TROJAN$ (after a stellar 2 and 1 record) have to work like the devil (and maybe win a few more games) to get back into the Top Ten or Top fifteen?
I WONDER don’t you?
NCAA: I continue to see on the various College Football Blogs and Forums how Great and wonderful “Alabama is doing since being on probation…”
Some still call us cheaters…
Prehaps what bothers me the most, even more than the FACT that the NCAA punished the University of Alabama without ANY evidence….
That’s right I said it…
AND so did the Lead NCAA Investigator in the case…
I would suggest…
You READ the NCAA “evidence” and you will agree…
Yet I digress…
Is the fact the NCAA has ALL the evidence they need in the Reggie Bush - Southern California Trojan Case……
In the form of recorded tapes with Reggie Bush and his then “sports agent”…
Credit Card receipt’s….payed for by Reggie’s “sports agent”…
signed by Reggie Himself…
Plane Tickets…
Signed legal agreement’s…
and a HOUSE with an ADDRESS for GOD’S Sake…!!!!!!
Paid by Reggie’s “Sports Agent”….
Yet….
The NCAA and the PAC 10 Conference refuses to say anything concerning the investigation…
WHY?
I guess there are two sets of rules at the NCAA….
Those for Southerners….and the midwest…
And those for the privileged….
EDITORS NOTE: And as a side note…
The only thing funnier than the NCAA using the words “Fair” is when they use the word “Education”…
EMAIL QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
Q: Mike, I cannot believe how Tennessee is a playing!
We is depressed as hell around here!
When we was a watching the game this past weekend, we noticed Coach Fulmer hollering at the Vol Quarterback, when he a coming off the field!
We couldn’t hear or tell what he was a saying!
Do you know what Coach Fulmer was telling the Tennessee Quarterback?
Thanks!
Shakey and Shelia - Athens, Tennessee
A: Lucky for you I have Bionic Hearing…
Coach Fulmer was telling the Tennessee Quarterback Jonathan Cromton…
“GET in MY BELLY!”
Q: Mike, did you see Chris Berman on College Game Day this past Saturday?
He said (and I quote..)
“The SEC, The BIG 12 and the BIG Ten need to pay attention!
The Ivy League is were football was invented!”
What do you think about that?
Kevin - Thomasville, Georgia
A: Well Kevin, “Flight” was invented at Kitty Hawk North Carolina and they don’t even have a damn airport today…
So don’t put any stock in what some smartass over-paid yankee has to say…
Q: What ever happened to the NCAA’s “Excessive Celebration” rule in College Football?
Since the University of Washington was taken behind the woodshed by the “rule”…
And the NCAA and the PAC 10 Conference Defended the rulings…
The NCAA appears to have backed away from their ruling…
YET, we haven’t heard anything..
What gives?
Thanks Mike!
Jimmy - Lincoln, Nebraska
A: In case you didn’t know Jimmy…
The NCAA is made up of a bunch of “Know it all” Academics, that can’t (and won’t) admit when they are wrong…
O’ Yeah…
Also they are all Wusseys….
Q: Mike, if you were driving down the road and you saw the President of the NCAA (Miles Brand) on the side of the road, what one word comes to mind?
Be Honest….
Jerry - Birmingham, Alabama
A: “Accelerate”
Enjoy your Week!
RTR
MEB