As a disciple of Coach Bryant let me put this in his terms……

“Win without bragging and lose without excuse”

Great game Tigers, see you all next year in T-Town.

EDITORS NOTE: Don’t you wish everyone acted that way?

Now on to something vitally important to many of you

Are you depressed and despondent after this past weekend?

Are you upset with the way your team played in their most important rivalry?

Are you confused and angry about the outcome of “your” game or the family visits during Thanksgiving?

Did Aunt Edna clog the toilet again this year?

My friends…….
I have the answer to make it all better…….

When things are bleak…….
If you feel there is no hope left……..
Your emotions are drained…….

All because your team let you down against your most hated rival.

While you were attempting to unclog the toilet after Aunt Edna “downloaded”

Do what I do in such circumstances…..

Find something or someone in this case to laugh at…….

Case in point……

There is a website out in cyber world called….

http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/

EDITORS NOTE: DO NOT JUDGE ME!

Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator does a lot of “research” to find the fascinating, strange and unusual for you my beloved readers. Some “research” even involves the occasional midget, so please don’t write me asking if I have a “Death Row Honey”. She’s only doing 5 to 10. Plus, I’m pretty sure she’s innocent.

Yet I digress….
Each Lady on the website has a picture, that will not be posted here…..
Along with a brief description of themselves to entice the reader to write them and become pen-pals or possibly…
Move the “relationship” to another level, say like Cell Block D.

Anyway…..

One such unfortunate lady……
Named “Melissa” from Fort Worth used these soul stirring words to describe herself….

“Rescue Me! Southern “Belle” SEEKING MR. RIGHT
I love to laugh……
I love to have Fun, Very adventurous, not much I haven’t done, not too much I won’t try!
I love the Ocean….
I love Peace….
I love music, writing, shopping….
I love making love on the beach and screwing when I am drunk!
I love Jesus, expensive purses and non-judgmental people”

EDITORS NOTE: See…..
You don’t feel so bad about yourself now, do you?

No need to thank me, it’s how I roll.

It’s a Thug Life

More later in the Week….

RTR
MEB

While Coach Pete and the Southern California Trojans are singing MC Hammer songs
and trying to determine if they are “Too Legit to Quit”, the rest of us will roll into the Week 12 Picks.

But before we do I need to mention….
Last week your Favorite College Football Prognosticator…
was a substandard 39 and 15 or a rather lowly 72%. That leaves us at 492 and 136 or 78% for the season.

We have some bitter rivalries to discuss and the opening round of the Division II Playoffs
So let’s get to it shall we?

Coach Pete, “You can’t touch this”

Enjoy your games!

Wednesday November 18th

Central Michigan at Ball State
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but….
When Lou Holtz says “Chippewa’s” he sounds just like Sylvester the Cat
CHIPPEWA’S 33-21

Buffalo at Miami (OH)
The Redskins have disappointed me all year, tonight will be no exception
And that my friends is “No Bull”
BULLS 34-13

Thursday November 19th

Colorado at Oklahoma State
In Stillwater they have a little saying: “Buffalo”….
The “other” white meat
COWBOY UP! 33-14

Friday November 20th

Akron at Bowling Green
Another I-75 Battle in the Buckeye state….
Falcons Zip the Zip’s……
FALCONS 31-28

Boise State at Utah State
The Bronco’s are on their way to an undefeated season….
Just like I said they would…
No need to thank me Boise Fans…
It’s how I roll….
BRONCOS 38-17

Saturday November 20th

Florida International at Florida
If “International’s” football team was a musical group they would be Menudo.
MIGHTY GATORS 38-14

Kansas at Texas
I hate to be the one to tell you this…
But Dorothy, you aren’t in Kansas anymore…
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-17

Chattanooga at Alabama
I was very proud of the Moccasins come from behind win last week
But this week, the Tide is Rolling and Rolling and Rolling…
CRIMSON TIDE 45-10

LSU at Ole Miss
This game is going to be a slobber knocker from start to finish
Believe it
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 24-23

Arkansas Tech at North Alabama
The “Wonder Boys” from Tech are going to “wonder”…..
what the hell they were thinking playing the mighty Lions of Florence in the first round of the Division II Playoffs.
FLORENCE LIONS 33-24

Citadel at Georgia Southern
The Bulldogs lost a sizeable lead to the Mighty Moccasins last Saturday
and they will get a terminal case of the Statesboro Blues this week…
Sounds like the beginning of a country song….
Just add train sounds…
EAGLES 34-24

North Carolina State at Virginia Tech
It’s too close to Thanksgiving “Not” to pick the Turkey’s
HOKIES 34-17

Oklahoma at Texas Tech
The Mighty Sooners are going to have their hands full this weekend….
And so will the Red Raiders…..
This one is going to be close….
Real close….
BOOMER SOONERS 31-28

West Alabama at Carson Newman
Another first round Division II Playoff Matchup….
The Tigers aren’t ready for the Boy’s from Jefferson City..
SPARKS EAGLES 33-28

Ohio State at Michigan
The title alone says it all….
There are few games that garner more hate and discontent…
These two bitter rivals hate each other 365 days a year….
Between these two states, there is nothing more important…
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 31-17

Memphis at Houston
My Cougars have dropped the ball as of late…
(No Pun intended…)
But I still believe…..
COUGARS 34-17

Minnesota at Iowa
This Big Ten Battle is played for the coveted “Floyd of Rosedale”
If you are wondering what that actually is, it’s a Bronze Pig statue, ok?
Which makes absolutely no sense to me..
EYES OF THE HAWK 33-14

Harvard at Yale
A classic matchup that absolutely nobody cares about…
Including me..

Penn State at Michigan State
This Big Ten Battle is called “The Battle of the Land Grants”
And it is played for the “Land Grant Trophy”
No, I didn’t make this up…..
I wish it was called “The Battle of the Foster Grants”
And the winner got some cool sunglasses….
JOE PA’S LIONS 24-20

Oregon at Arizona
The Wildcats are undefeated at home in the desert this year….
But the Quacks are on the attack….
If you don’t think so…
Just ask Coach Pete how his quacker is doing?
QUACK ATTACK 33-31

Duke at Miami (FL)
The Blue Devils are doing better than they did last year…
Which is like saying..
Kenny Chesney doesn’t act as gay as he used too..
HURRICANES 34-14

Kentucky at Georgia
The Dawgs will tree the cats between the hedges and leave them blue.
HUNKER DOWN DAWGS! 38-21

Kansas State at Nebraska
The Wildcats got spanked by MO’s Tigers last Saturday…
The Children of the Corn get medieval on the Cats this weekend…
HUSKY’S OF THE CORN 28-14

California at Stanford
This PAC 10 Rivalry is called “The Big Game”
They play it each year for the “Stanford Ax”
If you think I am going against the Tree, you would be wrong.
CARDINAL 43-38

Mississippi State at Arkansas
The Bulldogs are tough and getting tougher…..
But the Hogs are hitting their stride…..
RAZORBACKS 31-14

Arizona State at UCLA
The hopes of the Devils from the Valley of the Sun….
Will melt in Pasadena like a Hershey Bar on a dash board of a truck in Dallas on July 4th
BRUINS 24-17

Maryland at Florida State
There is some good news and some bad news for Coach Bobby this weekend
The “Good News” is that the Seminoles will win this weekend…
The “Bad News” is Coach Bobby believes the Japanese just bombed Pearl Harbor
and will spend the entire game hiding in a bunker near the stadium.
SEMI-NOLES 38-17

Louisville at South Florida
Here is how this works…
The Cardinals just sneaked by Otto the Orange last Saturday in the Ville…
The Bulls were embarrassed in Jersey
The Boys from Tampa rebound against Coach K. this week..
NO BULL 33-14

Wisconsin at Northwestern
Another Big Ten Battle this week and you know what that means…
Yes! Another rivalry game for a trophy!
This game between these two magnificent schools is played for….
“The Magnificent Marsupial Trophy”
I know it sounds important, but it looks like a stuffed possum.
HEADS OF CHEESE 33-31

Purdue at Indiana
This Big Ten Matchup and instate rivalry is played for…..
“The Old Oaken Bucket”
As opposed to…..
“The Semi-new recyclable plastic environmentally friendly repository of Hope”
BOILERMAKERS 28-24

North Carolina at Boston College
The Boys from Chestnut Hill have a problem this weekend….
The Heels of Tar are rolling into town….
It’s like an Oil Spill, except you get your ass kicked in the process.
TAR HEELS 28-13

Iowa State at Missouri
In the Name of Jesse James I will not doubt MO’s Tigers again…
I said that this week and I intend on keeping my word…
MO’S TIGERS 31-27

Rutgers at Syracuse
Now that I know that Tony Soprano is “working” the games for the Scarlett Knights..
This one is an easy pick…
After all, I certainly don’t want to anger my Italian American friends in Jersey..
I might want to go back to Atlantic City one day..
And return in one piece…
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 34-10

Virginia at Clemson
The Boys from Charlottesville play less like “Cavaliers”
And more like midgets on miniature ponies, with little sombreros and chaps
DABO’S TIGERS 33-14

Oregon State at Washington State
Much like Coach Riley……
I am all about the Beavers…..
MIGHTY BEAVERS 43-10

Vanderbilt at Tennessee
There is no truth to the rumor…..
That the latest Volunteer player arrested for shop lifting was in a disguise
therefore it took nearly two weeks for the police to release the report.
In fact he was wearing his football jersey with his name on the back while committing the crime,
the Tennessee Athletic Administration was just trying to keep it a “secret” like they used too.
Glad I could clear that up for everyone…
VOWELS 24-14

Wofford at Furman
This game will be a Battle between two of Chewbacca’s Kids
I just hope nobody gets a hairball….
FURRYMAN 23-17

Kent State at Temple
I’m sorry but every time I hear anything about the “Golden Flashes”
I get a visual image of naked people at the nursing home
HOOT OWLS 24-17

Texas Christian at Wyoming
The Horned Amphibians from Cow Town destroyed the two Ute’s last week…
They will stick the cowboys this Saturday….
Cowboy down
HORNED FROGS 34-14

Tulane at Central Florida
Neither of these teams has a personality…..
Sort of like my sister-in-law
Minus the one foot that looks like a hoof…
the hump on the back, the horns, I mean “calcium deposits”…
but other than that they are almost exactly alike.
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 24-21

Connecticut at Notre Dame
Even a win over the Huskies won’t save Coach Charlie’s job….
But the good news is that Gerry Faust is available..
So, it’s like a “win-win”
FIGHTN’ IRISH 33-23

Air Force at Brigham Young
The Cougars are tough to beat in Provo…
But these Falcons Aim High…
FALCONS 33-28

UAB at East Carolina
What’s the deal with the “Blazers” of Birmingham having a “Dragon” as a mascot?
The only “Dragon” I ever saw in Alabama was when I went on this blind date once..
Never mind, I don’t want to talk about it…
PIRATES 31-28

Texas El Paso at Rice
My favorite pudding gets pounded by the semi-mighty miners…
Believe it…
MINERS 43-10

Baylor at Texas A&M
Let’s be honest here….
Neither of these teams are worthy of a bid to the “Vienna Sausage Bowl”
That says it all…
GIG EM AGGIES 38-34

Army at North Texas
I love Denton Texas, but I don’t have a clue to what a “Mean Green” is…
Unless it’s a kitchen cleanser
Why would you name your team after some thing like that?
What’s next, “The Blistering Bleach”?
BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE HUDSON 24-23

San Diego State at Utah
So these two Aztec Ute’s were on their way to a ritual human sacrifice at the temple of the sun God….
Stop me if you’ve heard it…
TWO UTES 43-14

Southern Methodist at Marshall
I do love the folks in Huntington, and the Thundering Herd…
But they are playing against…
THE MIGHTY MUSTANGS 33-24

Colorado State at New Mexico
The winner of this game does get a bid to the “Vienna Sausage Bowl”
Yeah, this game is “that” important..
LOBOS 24-23

Tulsa at Southern Miss
After last week, were I actually doubted the Golden Eagles…
Well, I learned my lesson…
I can’t have my home folks mad at me…
GOLDEN EAGLES 28-24

Hawaii at San Jose State
Wouldn’t you know it….
The “new” season of “Dog the Bounty Hunter” is starting and I am stuck
in Two Buck Tim…
Sometimes, life just isn’t fair…
WARRIORS doing the electric slide over RAINBOWS 24-21

Nevada at New Mexico State
The Pack of Wolves has one of the finest running backs in the nation…
and the Aggies have “Lasso Pete” as a mascot….
Yeah, this one is easy…
WOLFPACK 34-10

Enjoy your weekend and your games

Stay tuned…
There is more to come..

RTR
MEB

What a week it was…
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was a rather amazing 42 and 10 last week or 81%
and that leaves us at 411 and 107 or 79% for the season.

But enough self adulation, this week we have “even” more Big Ten games….
Played for a variety of trophy’s and valued memorabilia and the tussle in T-Town.

Later in the week we will discuss the Bowl Championship Committee…
Which is actually not a committee at all, but a room full of chimpanzees
wired up on Red Bull and sugar throwing poop at college football teams listed on a wall chart.

More on this “detailed process” as it has been described in the media later in the week.

We have some games to discuss…

Enjoy your picks!

Thursday November 5th

Virginia Tech at East Carolina
I know, I haven’t hit a game with the Hokey’s in a couple of weeks….
But I have on “good authority” that Lou Holtz is going to be the “guest” Mascot this week.
Get your Gobble on Lou…..
MIGHTY TURKEYS 31-10

Miami (OH) at Temple
Believe it or not (and I ‘m not sure that I do…)
The Owls of Temple are on the verge of their first bowl game since 1979….
That’s enough motivation for anybody…
HOOT OWLS 24-17

Friday November 6th

Boise State at Louisiana Tech
Have I mentioned lately that I picked the Broncos to finish the season undefeated?
Enough said….
BRONCOS 34-17

Saturday November 7th

Vanderbilt at Florida
This game reminds me of the old saying……
“If you love something, let it go….
If it doesn’t come back then the alligator must have eaten it’s ass up”
At least that’s what they say on the bayou…
MIGHTY GATORS 38-10

Central Florida at Texas
Before this one is over the Golden Knights will wish
they jousted with midgets on burros instead of trying to stop the stampeding Longhorns.
Which as a side note…
Midgets jousting on burros screams pay-per-view to me….
especially if they are wearing sombreros
MIGHTY MIGHTY LONGHORNS 44-10

LSU at Alabama
The Tussle in T-Town…
A classic matchup that will be a fight until the final whistle blows…
Don’t blink…
CRIMSON TIDE 20-17

Northern Arizona at Ole Miss
SOoooooooo the “Chancellor” in Oxford stated this week that “He” will remove the Rebel fight song
if the students continue to chant “The South will rise again…” at football games.
Here is a little hint….
You got a jackass running a university that doesn’t understand college students…
Because even I know you don’t “threaten” a bunch of college kids….
Stand by Dumbass….
REBELS 43-17

Chattanooga at Appalachian State
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Mountaineers are going down with a moccasin sticking out of their butt.
Sorry for the visual….
MOCCASINS 28-24

Ohio State at Penn State
This game will be and ole fashion slug fest from start to finish……
I think the Buckeyes will win a close one…
but I have a feeling that Joe Pa has something up his sleeve, or hidden in his hair, or behind his glasses…
You get the picture….
JOE PA’S LIONS 23-21

Tusculum at Carson Newman
When I had the “Kangaroo Flu” recently, I think I coughed up a Tusculum…
It was disgusting…
SPARKS EAGLES 33-14

Oregon State at California
Beaver Jim, I wish I had better news for you…..
GOLDEN BEARS 33-24

Virginia at Miami (FL)
Here’s how this game works….
The Cavaliers lost to the Duke Blue Devils last week…
Enough said….
HURRICANES 152-0

Oklahoma at Nebraska
This game isn’t the marquee game that it once was…..
But it doesn’t mean they don’t hate each other with a passion…
I like that in a football game…
BOOMER SOONERS 28-17

Henderson State at Ouachita Baptist
Little known fact about the Ouachita Baptist denomination…
They don’t have their own “Theme Park”….
Unlike a few other denominations I could mention…
FIGHTN’ BAPTIST 33-10

Connecticut at Cincinnati
The Huskies are playing more like anorexic Chihuahuas
BEARKATS 33-17

Oklahoma State at Iowa State
This game is played each year for the “Telephone Trophy”…..
I’m not making that up…
The Cowboys will lasso this Cyclones….
I saw it once in a movie called “Tall Tales”
It was “based” on fact….
COWBOY UP! 31-21

Florida State at Clemson
No Bowden Bowl this year….
Just and ole fashioned Tiger ass whipping…..
DABO’S TIGERS 33-28

Kansas at Kansas State
This instate rivalry is called “The Sunflower Showdown”
It’s played each year for the coveted Governors Cup
Anytime you have a rivalry game that has the word “Flower” in it……
it’s just not that big a deal outside your own state, it’s a rule.
HAWKS of JAY 34-17

Tennessee Tech at Georgia
The Eagles have the same chance of winning this game between the hedges
as Kenny Chesney does of discovering his heterosexuality.
In case you are keeping score, that would be slim and none.
HUNKER DOWN BULLDOGS 43-10

Wofford at Citadel
Sure it’s cool that Chewbacca has his own college…..
but the military of college of South Carolina’s Dogs will take a bite out of his hairy butt.
CAROLINA’S BULLDOGS 31-17

Duke at North Carolina
This battle on Tobacco Road is played for the “Victory Bell”
Which hasn’t seen the Blue Devil campus since Coach Steve was there….
That trend continues on Saturday…
TAR HEELS 24-17

Purdue at Michigan
This Big Ten matchup can only mean one thing….
You guessed it, another “rivalry trophy”
This game is played annually for the coveted “Sphincter Cannon”
If I were you, I would stay away from that thing when they fire it…
WOLVERINES 24-23

Washington at UCLA
I still believe in the Power of the Huskies….
At least this week I do….
HUSKIES 23-17

Hofstra at Delaware
Did you know when Lou Holtz says “Hofstra”…..
Mark May has to wear a dental shield to keep from getting sprayed in the face with spit.
Just thought you should know.
BLUE HENS 24-14

Furman at Auburn
Just for the record “Furry Man” is not a reference to my sister-in-law in a tube top.
If it was, it would be called “Run for your life! It’s a Yeti in damn tube top!”
I kind of made myself sick just thinking about it…
WAR DAMN EAGLES 43-14

Georgia Southern at Samford
That Fred Samford cracks me up with that whole shtick
“This is big one! I’m coming to see you Elizabeth”.
I don’t know what that has to do with this game.
I just thought I would mention it.
STATESBORO EAGLES 24-13

South Carolina at Arkansas
This game should be called the Schizophrenic Bowl
Because you don’t know which team is going to show up for the game…
RAZORBACKS 33-28

Oregon at Stanford
Quack, Quack…..Quack, Quack…..Quack
ATTACK!
(I think that’s how it goes; I’ll ask Coach Pete, he should know…)
QUACKERS 34-24

Texas A&M at Colorado
Talk about your Schizophrenia
Neither of these teams has established anything that resembles an identity…
Other than they both have had the hell beat out of them by the Longhorns..
No wait, I am about two weeks ahead on that prediction for the Aggies, sorry.
GIG EM AGGIES 24-20

Wake Forest at Georgia Tech
Even Jimmy Swaggart won’t be able help the Demon Deacons this week, but he will go on a crying jag.
Which is nice…
YELLOW JACKETS 33-14

Wisconsin at Indiana
Just what we needed
Another Big Ten “rivalry” game!
This game between these two stalwarts of the conference…..
Is played each year for the coveted “Piñata of Meat”, which if I’m not mistaken is filled with “Pork by-products”.
This also may explain why there are no Muslims on the respective teams.
CHEESE BADGERS 31-17

Eastern Kentucky at Kentucky
The Colonels will be reduced to Privates before halftime, believe it.
BIG BLUE WILDCATS 38-14

West Alabama at North Alabama
This Heart of Dixie Battle between West and North will go to the Roaring Lions..
You can take this pick to the bank
MIGHTY LIONS 34-10

Western Michigan at Michigan State
The Bronco’s are going to get spanked by Sparky…
Which is kind of a weird visual, I’m sorry about that
SPARTANS 34-17

Illinois at Minnesota
This storied Big Ten rivalry is played for the “Petrified Polar Bear Turd”
This is further evidence that both states are located ten miles from the Arctic Circle
FIGHT’N PUMKINS 33-24

Baylor at Missouri
MO knows Bear taming….
Need I say more?
MO’S TIGERS 31-17

Maryland at North Carolina State
I would watch this game but VH1 “Behind the Music” is having a special
On whatever happened to the cast of “Break’n 2 Electric Boogaloo”
I wonder if they are still “Pop’n and Lock’n”?
WOLFPACK 23-17

Syracuse at Pittsburgh
The Panthers are going to claw Otto the Orange to a pulp…
Thought that up myself…
PANTHERS 34-14

Louisville at West Virginia
This game isn’t what it once was…..
But it will end with couches burning into the Morgantown night….
Light Em if you got Em!
MOUNTAINEERS 28-17

Northwestern at Iowa
I love these Big Ten games….
Almost each and every game is played for “something” important
This game is certainly no different..
The rivalry between these two schools is played each year for the
“Snow Globe of Beef Jerky”
I shudder to think where they came up with the idea for this “trophy”
EYES of the HAWK 33-21

Memphis at Tennessee
This volunteer instate rivalry is played “every so often” as the media guide described for
“The Tennessee Cousin Bucket of Lovin”
They further state in the media guide….
“Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it…”
VOWELS 43-10

Brigham Young at Wyoming
Cowboy Down……
BRIGHAM’S COUGARS 31-10

Navy at Notre Dame
This game has two of the oddest mascots in college football..
A Goat and a Leprechaun….
Now, if they would let the Leprechaun ride the goat THEN I would watch it..
FIGHTN’ IRISH 34-24

Rice at Southern Methodist
My favorite pudding isn’t ready for the wild ponies….
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 38-17

Army at Air Force
The next to final game for the “Presidents Cup”…..
Aim High
FALCONS 28-14

Kent State at Akron
A game between “Zippy” and the “Golden Flashes”….
Sounds like the making of a Gay Pride Parade…
ZIPPY 23-17

Texas El Paso at Tulane
This rough season has reduced the Green Wave to chartreuse trickle
MINERS 34-17

Texas Christian at San Diego State
Have I mentioned lately that I picked the horned amphibians to go undefeated this year?
I know that I “mentioned it”, I was just bragging..
Sorry…….
HORNED FROGS 33-10

Worchester Tech at Susquehanna
This game really puts me in a quandary..
On one hand I love Worchester sauce and I think it’s cool that have a college for that..
But on the other hand I know Susie will threaten to whip my ass if I don’t pick her..
I won’t be intimidated..
SUSIE 23-17

Fresno State at Idaho
I wonder whatever happened to Mister Potato Head’s kids, Ida and Spud.
I hope he kept his eye on them….
Yeah, thought that up myself too.
BULLDOGS 31-28

Washington State at Arizona
I would watch this game this game
But QVC is going to have a sale on their “Rhesus Monkey Dentist Kits”.
Before you ask, “No”, I don’t have a monkey.
I just want to watch the demo
WILDCATS 24-17

New Mexico at Utah
This game highlights Ute’s and Lobos….
Sounds like a Disney Movie…
TWO UTES 34-17

Houston at Tulsa
Speaking of movies….
Is it just me, or did you want to see Apollo Creed in Apollo 13?
Never mind, it’s just me.
COUGARS 38-23

Southern California at Arizona State
Hey Pete, you want a Quacker?
That never gets old for me…
TROJAN$ 6-3

Utah State at Hawaii
This game only serves to remind me that I am missing “Dog the Bounty Hunter”
Damn it…
WARRIORS Pop’n and Lock’n on RAINBOWS 31-24

Sunday November 8th

Nevada at San Jose State
Poor Jose…..
He is going to get beaten like a rented Burro….
As a side note…
This pick is much funnier when spoken out loud with a Mexican accent.
WOLFPACK 33-17

Enjoy your games and have a Great Weekend
More next week, so stay tuned…

RTR
MEB

Unlike the MSN Fox Sports Southern California Trojan loving “writer” Lisa Horne
This article and subsequent College Football Picks will be in English, not Ebonics, Pig Latin
or any other damn guttural slang.

Her latest article was entitled….
“Who’s Gett’n Diss’d by the Polls”
I am assuming this means…
“Which college football teams are not getting any respect from the pollsters?”

Simply put…
If you look up “Dumbass” in Webster’s Dictionary
It says…
“See Lisa Horne”

EDITORS NOTE: Lisa Horne makes Hootie Snitch look like Bill Shakespeare.

Now on to this weeks Picks…

This weekend we have Homecoming at the Capstone..
The Red River Shoot Out…
And the Battle for the Jeweled Shillelagh..
Which I am assuming is better than the battle for the infected shillelagh.
That’s just a guess.

Last week we got back on track at 49 and 10 or a vastly improved 83%
Overall we moved up at 289 and 75 or a slight improvement to 79%.

We have a lot of games to cover this week, so let’s get to it.
But as a side note…
I sure wish I was in Big D at the Texas State Fair this Weekend…
It’s going to be something to see

Enjoy your games!

Wednesday October 14th

Boise State at Tulsa
Not that I have an “inside track” on this game..
I just feel real comfortable with this pick..
Trust me…
BRONCOS 28-21

Thursday October 15th

Cincinnati at South Florida
This game is going to be a dog fight from start to finish
But the Boys from Chili Town are too tough for the Bulls
BEARKATS 34-21

Delta State at North Alabama
Nobody doubts my love of Okra, fighting or fried.
But the Mighty Lions of Alabama are just that…
LIONS ROAR 33-14

Saturday October17th

Arkansas at Florida
I won’t doubt the power of the Gators or the courage of Superman again
MIGHTY GATORS 28-14

Valdosta State at Harding
What was Harding thinking scheduling this game?
Harding better stay out that cider, I believe it’s turned hard.
BLAZERS 38-10

South Carolina at Alabama
Homecoming at the Capstone
What I wouldn’t give to be in T-Town on Saturday…
I can almost smell that Dream Land BBQ from here…
CRIMSON TIDE 28-17

California at UCLA
Let’s face it…
I have been lousy as hell picking PAC 10 games lately.
So I was forced to do something drastic to change my luck
I listened to an entire Boy George CD….backwards.
GOLDEN BEARS 24-20

EDITORS NOTE: The pain I go through to satisfy some fans…

Ohio State at Purdue
The Boilermakers have the same chance of winning this game..
as Rosie O’Donnell does of being in Playboy magazine. Bovine Monthly maybe…
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 28-13

Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech
The Rambling Wreck will soon learn the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about.
FIGHTN’ TURKEYS 24-20

Arkansas – Monticello at West Alabama
I finally figured out why the Boll Weevil mascot looks so familiar…
My sister-in-law “having a bad hair day…”
BOLL WEEVILS 23-17

Missouri at Oklahoma State
I have a question for the folks in Stillwater…
Where has the “Prairie Wind” touched you?
I’m just wondering..
COWBOY UP! 31-21

Texas Tech at Nebraska
Last year the Huskers “almost” won the game against the Red Raiders
There won’t be an “almost” this Saturday…
CORNHUSKERS 34-17

Kansas at Colorado
Please stop asking….
For the last time my sister-in-law is not be the “stunt” buffalo for Colorado.
She is busy filming the latest “Messing with Sasquatch” commercials.
Before you ask..
Yes, she got the “lead” part…
JAY of the HAWK 31-14

Georgia at Vanderbilt
The Big Dawgs break the chain this weekend…
Believe it
BAD DAWGS 33-13

Carson Newman at Lenoir Rhyne
I wonder if Lenoir is related to Leann Rhynes?
That gal is a home wrecker…
Not that it matters much here
SPARKS EAGLES 38-20

Delaware State at Michigan
There is no truth to the rumor..
that Coach Rod’s comment concerning the “ugly” game with Iowa
was a reference to having to set next to his wife on the plane trip back to Ann Arbor.
Glad I could clear that up…
WOLVERINES 54-0

Kentucky at Auburn
The Cats have one of the toughest schedules in the nation
It doesn’t get any better this weekend with the starting Cat quarterback out
Believe it
WAR DAMN EAGLES 38-14

Ouachita Baptist at Southern Arkansas
I am still not really sure what an Ouachita Baptist is…
But I do know these fundamental truths about religion..
Jewish people don’t recognize Jesus as the messiah
Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as a deity
And we Baptists don’t recognize each other in Hooter’s or at the Liquor store.
FIGHTN’ BAPTISTS 43-17

Baylor at Iowa State
The cyclones can’t generate enough wind to make a decent popcorn fart.
BEARS 31-21

North Carolina State at Boston College
The Wolfpack lost to Duke last Saturday…
That’s the equivalent of a grown man being beaten up by a four year old
Enough said….
CHESTNUTT HILL EAGLES 28-14

MIT at West New England
I had no idea MIT had a football team…
I know when my wife’s cousin-in-law attended the Mississippi Institute of Technology
They had a tire treading competition and a dairy judging team.
Who knew they had a football team?
MISS TECH 23-17

EDITORS NOTE: Admit it…
When you read “Cousin-in-law”, you thought, “Next on Springer”

Virginia at Maryland
I don’t know what they have been feeding the ninja turtles lately
But they need to keep doing it…
NINJA TURTLES 24-14

Colgate at Georgetown
Honestly..
This game was just a placeholder to remind me I need to pick some toothpaste

Wake Forest at Clemson
I don’t know why….
But every time I hear “Demon Deacons”
I think of Jimmy Swaggart all liquored up jumping up and down on a motel room bed
Sorry for the visual..
DABO’S TIGERS 31-17

Texas A&M at Kansas State
I hope PETA doesn’t hear about this game…
Because the wildcats are going to get gigged this Saturday
GIG EM AGGIES 23-14

Sam Houston State at Southeastern Louisiana
Sam Houston is a Hero of the Texas Revolution…
That’s good enough for me…
SAM’S CLUB 43-10

Central Michigan at Western Michigan
I don’t know about you but until recently
I thought “Chippewa’s” referred to a fancy name for chipped beef on toast
CHIPPEWA’S 33-17

Oklahoma at Texas
Dallas Texas….
The Texas State Fair…
Big Tex…
The Midway….
The Cotton Bowl..
This is a grudge match of biblical proportions
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 31-27

Louisville at Connecticut
Cardinal fans, did I mention Tommy Tuberville would like to coach again?
You know he’s available right?
Now would be a good time to call him..
HUSKIES 28-17

Northwestern at Michigan State
Sparky has got more spark than a dyslexic electrician
Not really sure what that means, but it sounded good the first time I said it.
SPARTANS 33-27

Iowa at Wisconsin
This Big Ten matchup is played for another coveted trophy..
Aren’t they all?
“The Heartland Trophy”
This trophy kind of looks like a foot with four toes; which is weird.
HAWKEYES 24-14

UAB at Ole Miss
There is good news here for the Blazers..
They don’t have to drive very far to get their ass kicked
NUTTY REBELS 44-10

Miami (OH) at Ohio
This Battle in the Buckeye State is played for the highly coveted..
“Monkey Clump Trophy”
I think it’s sponsored by Purina
BOBCATS 24-21

Wyoming at Air Force
Last week I predicted the Cowboy upset…
This week they will just be upset….
FALCONS 33-14

Southern California at Notre Dame
This game is played each year for the Jeweled Shillelagh
But for me this game…
Is like trying to decide who to pull for in a war between Iran and Syria.
FIGHTING IRISH 33-28

Minnesota at Penn State
It’s like Joe Pa always says…
“O’ So Golden Gophers….The other white meat”
JOE’S LIONS 28-17

Houston at Tulane
The Green Wave haven’t seen a storm like this since Katrina
COUGARS 44-14

Rice at East Carolina
Rice has one of the finest aeronautical engineering programs in the country
Yeah, that won’t help them much this weekend
PIRATES 31-17

Chattanooga at Georgia Southern
The Eagles are beat up and the boys from Moccasin Bend are for real
This one may be over before it starts…
MOCCASINS 28-24

Marshall at West Virginia
Nothing is bigger this weekend in West “By God” Virginia
The Friends of Coal Bowl for the Governor’s Cup
This is serious business
MOUNTAINEERS 34-17

Colorado State at Texas Christian
I know the question that is on your minds…
Can the Rams beat the horned amphibians this weekend?
Does the Pope poop in the woods?
HORNED FROGS 27-14

Mississippi State at MTSU
The Smurf Raiders of Murfreesboro will be left Blue when this one is over.
BULLY DOGS 31-17

Hawaii at Idaho
I wish “Dog the Bounty Hunter” had his own cable channel
But sometimes I just wish for too much…
VANDALS 28-14

Brigham Young at San Diego State
This game will be close until the opening kickoff….
I’m serious it really will be…
COUGARS 38-14

Stanford at Arizona
The Cardinal is for real, but their mascot “tree” is dumb as hell.
What do you expect from California; go figure
CARDINAL 24-10

New Mexico State at Louisiana Tech
The Dogs have been screwing up my average each week like it’s their job
They better Bark up this weekend..
I mean it..
BULLDOGS 24-20

Illinois at Indiana
Another Big Ten game, another game for a “coveted” rivalry trophy
This game is played each year for the “Velvet Scooter”
I think it was originally donated by the Liberace Foundation
ILLI-NOISE 24-21

Memphis at Southern Miss
The Boys from Hattiesburg rebound this weekend against Elvis’s Tigers.
Thank you, thank you very much.
GOLDEN EAGLES 24-17

Citadel at Western Carolina
I don’t know what a Catamount is, but it sounds nasty.
BULLDOGS 28-24

Miami (FL) at Central Florida
Another Battle in the Land of Disney for supremacy of the Sunshine State
Well, more like whose Second Best actually…
HURRICANES 38-10

Navy at Southern Methodist
I wish this were an “upset special”
But it isn’t…
MIDSHIPMEN 33-24

Washington at Arizona State
The Devils from the Sun play more like the residents of Sun City
HUSKIES 24-14

Utah at UNLV
So these two Ute’s were in Vegas to see David Copperfield…
Stop me if you’ve heard this one…
UTES 38-10

Enjoy your games and have a great weekend…

More College Football news to follow…
So stay tuned…

RTR
MEB

We have a serious problem in this country…
No, not that one, the “other” serious one….

No not that serious one, the “other” serious one…

I know this is going to bruise some feelings but this has to be addressed….
I am speaking of sports commentator’s ritual of “Inventing” words that do not exist.

Now it seems like everybody is getting on board…
Let’s face it folks….
Just because you say a word or make-up a name doesn’t make it so.
Case in Point….
Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted disease not a Swahili word for “beautiful flower”.
Say it all you want, name whoever you want that, it doesn’t change what the word really means.

Along these lines I am convinced CBS College Football Today is required to use the word “Trick-a-ration” three times an hour or they won’t get paid.
Use it all you want, guess what? It isn’t a damn word.
Same goes for the word “Fumble-roo-ski”.
Why do we have to put a polish spin on it? I don’t get it…
How about using the word “Trick Play” instead?
That phrase we understand.
Just for the record, each time I hear somebody on CBS College Football Today uses “Trick-a-ration” which in case you were wondering is used three times an hour even if the situation doesn’t warrant it, it makes my head want to pop off.

There are other words too you know what I am talking about, right?

Like “Phys-i-cal-a-ty”….
Guess what? That isn’t a damn word jackass.
A Player can be “physical” or he can demonstrate “physical play” but he doesn’t have “Phys-i-cal-a-ty”.
This is just plain stupid, but the commentators say it anyway don’t they?

Maybe this ridiculous trend all started with “American Idol”
and the glue sniffing Paula Abdul using the made up word “Mus-i-cal-a-ty”.
Which in case you were wondering isn’t a damn word, but was used by Paula in the following context; As in “His Mus-i-cal-a-ty” was so amazing, like the mus-i-cal-aty, was at the heart, you know?”

EDITORS NOTE: For full effect of the above word, please slur your words and roll your eyes while utilizing it in a sentence. It still won’t mean any damn thing; it will simply give other people watching additional elements of the absurd to laugh at..

The word “Amazing” in the above paragraph leads me to something else
The Over use of words

Everybody knows somebody that performed Mike Myers Austin Power’s imitations until you would flee in terror no matter where you saw him, church, grocery store, didn’t matter. You were out’a there…

EDITORS NOTE: For those of you that wondered why people conveniently went the other way when they saw you, I have some untimely news for you.
You were “that guy” mentioned above.
Sorry

That is how I feel about over used words and the people that use them…
Sounds like the title of my next book…
Like that would be so amazing, like it was simply amazing that I even thought about it you know?
Amazing that so many idiots can only use one word to describe a single event from the launching of the space shuttle which is still “Amazing” to Jessica Simpson’s new “Amazing” shoes which are not so amazing.

But I digress let’s get back to College Football….
It is important to note that people can provide information and be helpful..
but they cannot however be “Infor-mation-al”. What the hell does that even mean?

And while we are on the topic..
For the love of God, please stop using the term “Swagger”…
As in …
“We got our swagger back….”
“They really have some swagger out there Jim…”
“Where is their Swagger today Bob?”

I would rather hear your annoying friend..
dust off his Austin Powers “O’ Behave…”imitation than hear this overused term again.

Just so we agree…
“Swagger” is a product from Old Spice..
Not a catchy term for “Confidence” and even though I wish the terms were interchangeable, they are not.

And lastly….
As if this logic wasn’t difficult enough to follow…
Sports Commentators and College Football in general use words that we all believe have a single meaning, but in reality means something entirely different..
Case in point…
Most of us know what “suspended indefinitely” or “kicked off the team” means.

But at the University of Oregon, those terms mean something entirely different…
Those words actually mean “Three weeks”…
Who Knew?

More Later in the Week…
So Stay Tuned..

RTR
MEB

Much like the Oklahoma, Houston and Seminole fans last weekend…
Your favorite college football prognosticator will hence forth refer to last weekends games as..
The “Weekend that will no longer be mentioned”.

I am sure the above fans will gladly agree with me on that point, but before I unveil my embarrassing statistics from the “Weekend that will no longer be mentioned”, I want to offer my three favorite excuses for my lackluster performance.
1. The Sun was in my eyes while I was making the picks…
2. There is no doubt I had a rock in my shoe when I was making the picks last week..
3. Frankly, I don’t make very good decisions while I am on artificial turf….

And as a side note….
It doesn’t help that I am making the picks while wearing a leaf bag around my waist
Don’t ask…
You really don’t want to know…
Damn Kangaroo Flu…

Last week: 36 and 19 (Ouch!!!!!!) at 65%

Overall: 240 and 65 at 79% ( No comment….)

Enjoy the Picks!

THE GAMES

Thursday October 8th

Nebraska at Missouri
MO knows offense, but the Huskers have the Black Shirts
This will be a good one to watch from start to finish
And the Victory Bell goes too…..
CORNHUSKERS 28-24

Colgate at Princeton
I don’t care and neither should you
But it is nice to know they named a college after my favorite toothpaste

Arkansas Monticello at West Georgia
This is clearly my “Game of the Night”
The Wolves of West Georgia and the Mighty Boll Weevils of Arkansas
That’s right I said “Boll Weevils”…
Tell me this mascot doesn’t scare you…

Enough said….
BOLL WEEVILS 23-17

EDITORS NOTE: Also…
The Arkansas Boll Weevil mascot is called “Weezie”
Which is no relation to a character on the once popular television series “The Jefferson’s”
Just thought you should know…

North Greenville at North Alabama
The Mighty Lions of Florence Roar once again…
LIONS 34-17

Friday October 9th

Louisiana Tech at Nevada
I have counted the Bulldogs out of too many games this year and gotten bit every time.
Not this week…
BULLDOGS 31-17

Saturday October 10th

Colorado at Texas
Someone actually wrote me about this game last year and asked me…
“How were they supposed to distinguish..
between the respective schools mascots of a Buffalo and a Longhorn..
which one was actually my sister-in-law?”
That is so ridiculous, I can’t even believe it!
She was the one wearing flip-flops.
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-14

Alabama at Ole Miss
This is going to be a tussle in the Grove from start to finish…
Believe it…
CRIMSON TIDE 28-23

Eastern Illinois at Penn State
There is only room for one Big Cat in this game..
And it ain’t the Panthers…
JOE PA’s LIONS 38-10

Wisconsin at Ohio State
Behold the Power of Cheese Whiz….
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 24-17

Delta State at West Alabama
The Tigers of West Alabama can’t handle the Fighting Okra….
Why you may ask?
Because they are “Fighting Okra”, that’s why….
FIGHTING OKRA 31-20

Baylor at Oklahoma
I wouldn’t take the Bears for granted in this game…
Or it will be Sooner, Later…
BOOMER SOONERS 24-17

The Citadel at Elon
I wish I had better news for the Bulldogs of the Military College of South Carolina
But I don’t…
THE CUBAN KID 31-21

Catawba at Carson Newman
Why someone thought it was a “good idea”…
to name their college after a bunion is beyond me, what’s next “Hemorrhoid Tech”?
Never mind, I believe that’s in California
SPARKS EAGLES 33-28

Boston College at Virginia Tech
I got some bad news for the fan’s from Chesnutt Hill..
The Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about…
HOKIES 33-17

Georgia Tech at Florida State
I never thought I would see the day that Coach Bobby would be on the hot seat…
But after this week, he will have both cheeks firmly planted on it.
YELLOW JACKETS 28-17

Florida A&M at Miami
Leroy Vann is faster than the Rattler’s namesake….
But that won’t save him from the eye of the Hurricane
HURRICANES 34-10

Houston at Mississippi State
Bulldog Jim, I wish I had better news my friend….
I am afraid the Cats have a mean on…
COUGARS 31-23

Chattanooga at Samford
I used to know a Sam Ford once…
He was a horse’s ass….
MIGHTY MOCCASINS 28-24

Iowa State at Kansas
Both of these teams are heading in the same direction…
No where…
HAWKS of JAY 23-17

Susquehanna at Rochester
Susie and Rocky?
Sounds like the basis for Rocky VIX
Never mind….
SUSIE 21-17

Georgia at Tennessee
Both teams are beaten up and badly in need of a win…
This is going to be one heck of a game….
HUNKER DOWN DAWGS 28-23

EDITORS NOTE: I know it pains me to say this…
But it’s getting more difficult each week to criticize Coach Lane Kiffin
When Coach Phil was at Beacon Hill..
“Discipline” and the football team went together like Chinese food and peanut butter.
Coach Lane won’t tolerate any foolishness from the players..
and will dismiss them from the team in a New York minute.
Believe that?
Under Coach Phil’s watch Tennessee players used to stroll to games like they bought their clothes from “Thugs or Us”, once a volunteer player even wore a loin cloth to the game, true story.
And now the players have to wear coats and ties to games and leave their Mr. T starter kits at home.
I have even noticed a change in some Volunteer fans…
What is going on?
Doesn’t Coach Lane realize this hurts my column?

Georgia Southern at North Carolina
The Eagle has been grounded…..
HEELS of TAR 38-10

Auburn at Arkansas
This game has all the potential to be a Barn Burner..
No Pun intended..
RAZORBACKS 33-24

Harding at Ouachita Baptist
I am not sure what an “Ouachita” Baptist does…
Unless they are the folks that handle rattlesnakes during a service
Harding better watch himself, those things will bite you…
SNAKE HANDLING BAPTIST 38-10

Oregon at UCLA
I would rather play nude twister with Rosie O’Donnell than watch this game…
QUACKS 6-5

EDITORS NOTE: Like I wasn’t sick enough with the Kangaroo Flu….
I had to make myself throw up over that comment…

Southern Miss at Louisville
Coach K and the Cardinals are down and they ain’t getting up…
GOLDEN EAGLES 33-17

EDITORS NOTE: Cardinal Fans take note….
Coach Tommy Tuberville is lounging in Alabama right now looking for a job..
I know he has the personality of a Jackass eating briars….
But the boy can spell “Defense”….
Just a thought…

Duke at North Carolina State
The winner of this semi-bitter instate rivalry receives coupons to Burger King.
I am not sure if that includes a complimentary decorative paper crown
More on this story as it develops.
WOLFPACK 31-28

Maryland at Wake Forest
This game features amphibians and televangelists…
I honestly have no idea which team is going to show up for this one..
The truth is…
They don’t either…
NINJA TURTLES 23-17

West Virginia at Syracuse
I was asked to say something “positive” and “uplifting” about the Orange this week.
O.K., here goes…
You all don’t suck as bad as you did last year..
How’s that?
Light those Couches!
MOUNTAINEERS 28-17

Stanford at Oregon State
I would rather watch my wife’s uncle Todd’s colonoscopy video (again..)
In it’s entirety…
Than watch another PAC 10 game…
CARDINAL 6-3

EDITORS NOTE: In case you were wondering…
The video is kind of like the 1950’s version of “Journey to the Center of the Earth”

Connecticut at Pittsburgh
Interesting fact….
When Coach Lou Holtz has said the above schools names in quick succession…
He has actually blinded Mark May in spit…
PANTHERS 28-24

Southern Nazarene at Southwest Baptist
In case you were wondering there will be a Baptism
Following today’s game…
FIGHTN’ BAPTISTS 23-17

Muhlenberg at Juniata
If I was the M’ Guy here, I would watch myself…
I hear Juanita’s septic tank backed up last week and she is madder than hell
JUANITA 31-14

Indiana at Virginia
This game may answer the eternal philosophical question..
“Would they still have a college football game if no spectators came?”
CAVALIERS 17-13

Arizona at Washington
The “W” on the Huskies helmets better stand for “Win” this weekend..
or I am off the dog’s bandwagon. Yes, I mean it this time.
HUSKIES 24-10

Arizona State at Washington State
These two teams together couldn’t beat a hot dog….
DEVILS of the SUN 17-14

Kentucky at South Carolina
The Wildcats are tough….
But Coach Steve has their number…
Always has…
GAMECOCKS 31-17

Kansas State at Texas Tech
Maybe Coach Snyder could get the Wildcats motivated..
If he wore a cape and a mask on the sidelines.
I don’t know if it would help, but it sure would be funny, wouldn’t it?
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 34-17

Miami (OH) at Northwestern
This game will be a lot closer than you might think…
That is until the National anthem is over…
WILDCATS 33-10

Purdue at Minnesota
This ancient Big Ten rivalry is played for something I can’t quite pronounce..
But it looks like a giant Tootsie Roll..
Or it could be a Donkey Turd…
I’m not really sure…
O’ SO very GOLDEN GOPHERS 24-17

Heidelberg at Ohio Northern
I bet Ole Heidelberg wears lederhosen and a funny hat when nobody’s looking
Enough said…
POLAR BEARS 21-7

Vanderbilt at Army
Some people in the SEC are quick to dismiss the Commodores..
But if they were in the PAC 10 they would be the second best team in the conference
No worse than third anyway…
Believe it…
‘DORES 28-14

Michigan State at Illinois
This Big Ten rivalry is played each year…
for the coveted “Jimmy Crack Corn Trophy”, because frankly, nobody cares.
SPARTANS 27-24

Eastern Michigan at Central Michigan
The good news is…
Because this game is in Michigan, the Eagles don’t have far to go to get their ass kicked.
CHIPPEWA’S 28-23

New Mexico at Wyoming
I don’t know if I would go as far as calling this an “upset special”..
But the Cowboy’s are due….
COWBOY UP! 20-17

Oklahoma State at Texas A&M
I have some “Good News” and some “Not so good news” here..
The “Good” news is the Aggie Corps of Cadet Marching Band…
Is one of the finest college marching bands in the country.
The Aggie War Hymn will give your goose bumps, goose bumps.
The “Not so” good news is the Cowboys are riding into town…
THE COWBOYS 38-17

Texas Southern at Rutgers
The TSU “Motion of the Ocean” – “Ocean of Soul” Marching Band
Is really something to see, unfortunately their football team isn’t.
SCARLET KNIGHTS 44-10

Navy at Rice
The Midshipmen are tough, fast and well coached.
The Owls have one of the best baseball teams in the country.
Yeah, that won’t help them much here..
MIDSHIPMEN 28-17

Henderson State at Valdosta State
The folks from Henderson are known as the “Reddies”
Which I find to be discriminatory against blondes and brunettes
Damn racists…
BLAZERS 33-10

Marshall at Tulane
I still believe in the Thundering Herd…
WE ARE MARSHALL 24-17

Utah at Colorado State
Did you know that if you spell “Rams” backward you get “Smar”…
Not that it’s all that important here…
TWO UTES 33-24

Peru College at Lincoln (MO)
Although I have never been a fan of Lincoln, I think it is inherently wrong that a university from another country is playing college football against a team from the Heartland of America.
MO knows FOOTBALL 24-20

Ohio at Akron
Seriously, what is a “Zip” and why is their mascot a damn kangaroo?
I’ll never understand Yankees..
BOBCATS 24-23

Texas Christian at Air Force
The horned amphibians are lucky as well as good….
That’s a bad combination..
HORNED FROGS 31-17

Florida at LSU
Saturday Night in Death Valley….
For an opposing team there is nothing like it….
It’s what the Christians in the roman coliseum must have felt like before they released the..
FIGHTN’ TIGERS 23-21

UTEP at Memphis
Before last weekend I would have said U-Who?
But after outlasting the Houston Cougars last Saturday night
MIGHTY MINERS 34-23

Eastern Carolina at Southern Methodist
Despite my disappointment last week with the Ponies…
Much like Steve McQueen…
I still believe in the power of the Mighty Mustangs….
MUSTANGS 28-24

Michigan at Iowa
This classic Big Ten matchup is played for “The Old Lobster Bib”
Not really, I just made that up, but you have to admit…
It’s a better idea than the “Skank Witch Trophy”
EYES of the HAWK 28-23

Brigham Young at UNLV
The Rebels have a good chance of winning this game…
If Brigham Young misses their flight to Vegas…
COUGARS 38-10

Sunday October 11th

Fresno State at Hawaii
Have I mentioned lately that “Dog the Bounty Hunter” is on A&E on Wednesday nights?
I love those guys…
BULLDOGS 33-24

Tomorrow I will have something for the disgruntled Georgia Fan…
I wonder, could it be the names and addresses of the referees from last weeks Georgia – LSU game?

Next week Hootie Snitch will discuss his request for a stimulus package to open his “new” restaurant.

Stay tuned

Enjoy your games this weekend…

RTR
MEB

This week we have Battles over Wagon Wheels, Iron Skillets and Slabs of Bacon..

EDITORS NOTE: Not all together…..
Although they make a nice combo if you were out on the range

We have Lions, Tigers, and Bears and Fighting Okra…
Tussling over a variety of Paul Bunyan memorabilia, Mittens and a Victory Bell..
While others duke it out on Tobacco Road for bragging rights.

It’s that time of the year…..
Rivalries are in Season…

If you are keeping count and I know you are…..
Last Week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was 44 and 12 or 79%
That leaves us at 204 and 46 of 82% thus far in the season…

Enjoy!

THE GAMES

Wednesday September 30th

Hawaii at Louisiana Tech
I feel really confident about this pick…
Call it “Prognosticators Intuition”….
BULLDOGS 27-6

Thursday October 1st

Colorado at West Virginia
What I wouldn’t give to have a second hand furniture store in Morgantown…
I would have more money than Ernest Tubb in a few years.
Light those couches!
MOUNTAINEERS 24-20

Valdosta State at Delta State
Who doesn’t love a Fighting Okra?
My point exactly…
FIGHTN’ OKRA 27-23

Friday October 2nd

Pittsburgh at Louisville
Papa John Stadium is a mighty tough place to play in when the sun goes down
Johnny, this one is for you…
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!!!
CARDINALS 24-21

Utah State at Brigham Young
This particular game is played for the “Old Wagon Wheel”
But is only part of the bigger prize known as the Battle for the Beehive Boot
But I have question..
Wouldn’t that hurt if you put your foot in a boot full of bees?
Just wondering…
COUGARS 38-17

Saturday October 3rd

Alabama at Kentucky
In the immortal words of Steely Dan in Deacon Blues…
“They have a name for the winners in the world…
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide”
CRIMSON TIDE 31-17

EDITORS NOTE: I am sure they were referring to football in this particular song…
Because if it was basketball, then they would have mentioned Kentucky

Arkansas Tech at North Alabama
I can hear the Lion’s Roaring from here…
MIGHTY LIONS 38-10

Ole Miss at Vanderbilt
Sometimes I feel like a Nutt….
And this would be one of those times…
REBELS 24-21

Georgia Southern at Wofford
It doesn’t matter who Coach’s there…
The boys from Statesboro will always be….
ERK’S EAGLES 31-14

Penn State at Illinois
I made a key error in my Picks last week…
Last week I stated:
“I have on good authority that Joe Pa intends to harness the power of the sun
through his reading glasses and roast the Hawkeyes”
Little did I know…
The game was at night and Joe Pa did not have the Solar Panel 2500 mounted to his reading glasses.
That was my mistake….
There will be no such oversight this week…
Roast the Fighting Pumpkins Joe Pa!
JOE PA’S LIONS

LSU at Georgia
This game will be a shoot out from start to finish…
Hold on to your seats boys and girls
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 33-28

Oklahoma at Miami
Since Utah is off this weekend..
I am under artistic obligation to state the following concerning this particular game…
I hope the two Ute’s that drive the Boomer Sooner wagon are careful this Saturday
Because they will be driving it around the stadium all afternoon
BOOMER SOONER 38-14

Austin Peay at Tennessee Tech
I don’t care that Austin peed all by himself!
Why name a college after something like that?
What’s next, Urinal Cake State?
This is disgusting
PEABODY 28-10

Virginia Tech at Duke
This game will be like pistol whipping a blind kid…
HOKIES 43-3

Georgia Tech at Mississippi State
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!
More Cow Bell!!!!!
Believe it Bully!
BULLDOGS 24-20

Virginia at North Carolina
This game is known as the “South’s Oldest Rivalry”
The contest between the two schools dates back to 1892
Who doesn’t love a grudge that has festered for over a hundred years?
TAR HEELS 23-17

Michigan at Michigan State
This semi-bitter instate rivalry is entitled…
“The Battle for the Mitten”

EDITORS NOTE: No, I didn’t make that up

With the “Winner” walking away with the “Paul Bunyan Trophy”
Not sure if the trophy includes Paul’s big blue ox “Babe”
I will continue to monitor the situation as it develops
WOLVERINES 33-24

EDITORS NOTE: There is no truth to the rumor…
This trophy was being replaced by a clay replica of Coach Rod’s Wife.
It is my understanding that the proposed “Skank Witch” Trophy
was deemed “inappropriate” by the Big Ten.
I hope that cleared up any misunderstanding

Texas A&M at Arkansas
This rivalry that began in 1903 was once known as the “Southwest Classic”
Now it has been reduced to an “out of conference game” for both teams
That makes me sad…
RAZORBACKS 24-21

Oregon State at Arizona State
This game is between the Sun Devils and the Beavers in the Valley of the Sun
This reminds me of a joke….
So stop me if you’ve heard this one…
These two Ute’s walk into a bar and setting there is the Devil and a Beaver…
And the One Ute says, “Hey, now that’s a nice Beaver…”
Never mind this going to get ugly…
SUN DEVILS 24-20

UCLA at Stanford
I would rather…..
Listen to Leonard Nimoy sing Led Zeppelin’s Greatest Hits than watch this game.
BRUINS 28-24

EDITORS NOTES: Just thinking about that made my ears bleed

Juniata at McDaniel College
Ole Danny Mac better have his head on a swivel..
I hear Juanita is in a foul mood…
JUANITA 33-17

Florida State at Boston College
I have no idea which one of these teams is going to show up
My Guess?
SEMI-NOLES 24-17

Clemson at Maryland
The rules here are simple….
A Tiger can beat a turtle…
I have seen enough of the Animal Planet to know that much…
DABO’S TIGERS 23-14

Wisconsin at Minnesota
This game is played annually for the coveted..
“Paul Bunyan’s Ax” and “a Slab of Bacon”….
I don’t know what the deal is this week about all the Paul Bunyan references
Unless it’s his birthday?
Not really sure how the tasty pork product fits into this equation…
Never mind….
O’ SO GOLDEN GOPHERS 28-21

Susquehanna at Merchant Marine Academy
It doesn’t surprise me that Susie decided to play the Merchant Marines
She always did love a man in uniform….
MARINERS 34-28

North Carolina State at Wake Forest
This War on Tobacco Road has been going on forever…
I bet the argument started over liquor…
Don’t they all?
WOLFPACK 23-17

Arkansas State at Iowa
I don’t know if you’ve seen the Iowa mascot…
“Herky the Hawkeye”?
That things head is almost as big as Wynonna Judd’s
Notice I said “almost”
HAWKEYES 38-10

Washington State at Oregon
This game is played for a trophy that looks eerily similar to Oprah Winfrey’s ass.
Not really I just made that up…
But that would be funny as hell wouldn’t it?
QUACKERS 33-10

South Carolina State at South Carolina
This game is going to get crazy ugly….
GAMECOCKS 53-10

Auburn at Tennessee
This story has very little to do with the game….
But it is simply too good not too share…
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice…
So he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said…
“You graduated from the University of Tennessee right?
I need some help.
If I were to give you $20,000 dollars minus 11%, how much would you take off?”
The secretary thought a moment…
Then replied, “Everything but my earrings..”
WAR DAMN EAGLES 31-17

South Florida at Syracuse
Otto the Orange gets the juice squeezed out of him Saturday…
Believe it…
NO BULL 38-7

Carson Newman at Mars Hill
Thank goodness Coach Spark’s boys are playing Mars Hill this weekend…
If they were playing Uranus Tech…
I could take up the entire column with off color jokes and inappropriate antidotes.
SPARK’S EAGLES 33-21

East Carolina at Marshall
This game has a lot of meaning for many of us….…
The Pirates were the last team the Thundering Herd played on 14 November 1970
Before the plane crash claimed the lives of the son’s of Marshall University.
I won’t forget it, and neither should you.
Whatever game you watch this weekend…
When you see the score ticker run across the bottom of your television screen..
Pull for those current son’s of Marshall….
You will feel better for it, I promise
WE ARE MARSHALL 28-24

Tulane at Army
Every time I hear “Green Wave” I think about a leaky septic tank…
BLACK KNIGHTS 24-21

Hope at Trine
This first thing I thought was….
“I Hope I have Trine to make it to Homecoming this year…”
HOPE 24-10

Northwestern at Purdue
Frankly I am surprised…
We have another Big Ten game without any mention of Paul Bunyan
BOILERMAKERS 31-28

Cincinnati at Miami (OH)
The “Victory Bell” is at stake in this contest….
As opposed to the “Horribly Embarrassing Defeat Bell”
Nobody really wants that one…
BEARKATS 34-17

Ohio Northern at Muskingum
I cannot believe they named a college after a gum disease
I guess it’s still better than Halitosis Tech
Never mind…
POLAR BEARS 23-17

EDITORS NOTE: As a side note….
If you think I have been wrong all these years about Yankees…
Living ten miles from the Arctic Circle, then why would they name their team the “Polar Bears”?
Coincidence? I think not…

Kansas State at Iowa State
I have a safety tip for you…
If you hear David Hasselhoff scream “Awesome!”
Three times in a row in quick succession your head will explode.
CYCLONES 17-10

EDITORS NOTE: Don’t ask me how I know about the above claim
Just take my word for it…
But I will tell you the test involved a hamster.

Washington at Notre Dame
I don’t have any idea which Dog’s are going to show up
Will it be the Mighty Washington Huskies or the Hollywood Chihuahua’s?
I am guessing this one will be close….
Real close…
FIGHTING IRISH 28-24

Central Michigan at Buffalo
Two things I learned from watching movies about the American West…
One: Many Native Americans used buffalo as a major food source in the Western frontier
Two: John Wayne was a bad ass
I think Number One applies here..
CHIPPEWA’S 38-10

Wisconsin Oshkosh at Wisconsin Lacrosse
One thing I know for certain about this game…
There will be a lot people there that talk funny..
OSHKOSH BY GOSH 24-20

Memphis at Central Florida
This Conference USA battle is taken very seriously…
The Boy’s from Orlando have vowed this week…
To give Memphis the cryogenically frozen body of Walt Disney if they lose to the Tigers…
Well, look at the bright side…
It’s not like they are gambling with the Magic Castle
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 24-21

Air Force at Navy
This game will be a brawl for the Commander in Chief’s Trophy.
These boys will all play until the final whistle blows…
Believe that…
MIDSHIPMEN 33-31

Ohio at Bowling Green
In this Buckeye State Battle I will go with Coach Frank’s Cats
BOBCATS 28-17

Colorado State at Idaho
As I chronicled earlier in the week…
Mr. Potato Head only “has eyes” for that trashy Zelda Zucchini
Thought that up myself…
VANDALS 28-24

Ohio State at Indiana
I don’t know if the Hoosiers would have been better off..
If they would have taken my advice on accepting the sponsorship of a “major” chicken wing franchise
but I do know their cheerleaders would have gotten a lot better looking.
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 33-17

Kent State at Baylor
This is for the folks from “Protest U” that may be traveling to the game in Texas
Don’t get Wacko in Waco or you will wind up in Jail ’O
BEARS 43-10

New Mexico at Texas Tech
It’s time for Tech’s Saddle Tramps and High Riders
To get back on that horse and….
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 34-23

Tulsa at Rice
The Tulsa mascot looks like the Elephant man stuck his head in a Hornets nest…
What does that have to do with a Hurricane that is Golden?
I have no idea..
GOLDEN HURRICANES 31-24

Southern California at California
I have a question for those folks from California “The Home of Diversity”
If someone from Ghana married a person from Korea…
Would their children be Gonorrhean’s?
Just wondering…
GOLDEN BEARS 23-17

EDITORS NOTE: Hey Coach Pete….
How’s that Dog Bite?

California Davis at Boise State
Cal Davis are known as the “Aggies”
But I like to think of them as another victim of the “Blue Monster”
BRONCO’S 44-10

Southern Methodist at Texas Christian
This is the “Battle for the Metroplex”
The game has been played every year since 1925 for the “Iron Skillet”
In the Dallas – Fort Worth area it doesn’t get any bigger than this on Saturday
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 31-24

Southern Miss at UAB
I don’t know why the Boy’s from Birmingham have a Dragon as a mascot…..
There aren’t any “dragons” in Birmingham and certainly not in Alabama
But I did have this blind date once in Trussville…
Forget I mentioned it
GOLDEN EAGLES 33-14

New Mexico State at San Diego State
This promises to be the best game on ESPN U at 0200 EST…
Believe it!
AGGIES 20-17

Houston at UTEP
The Big Cats from Cow Town are for Real…
You don’t think so?
They have more conference wins in Conference USA and the Big 12 than any other team
COUGARS 38-17

More next week….
So stay tuned

Enjoy your games ….

RTR
MEB

I am right here at my restaurant HOOT-R’s!
Located in a previously owned double wide trailer…
right off of Leadmine Road just outside of Baneberry Tennessee
Look for the lighted sign and come on in for the Biggest and Best
Tennessee Volunteer Victory party in the universe!

In case you is a living under a rock
This is the week of the Tennessee – Florida game.
And I am fixing to tell you Seven Big Old Reasons “Why”
The Tennessee Volunteers are going to whip them gators ass on Saturday.
Come on in and Let me break it down for you

ONE – The Volunteers orange color is more orange than them gators orange.
Their’s ain’t even real orange color best I can tell.
Now that we talking about it, what’s with them gators having blue with orange?
That don’t even match good.

TWO – Them gators got one, count it “One” mascot.
A damn old gator…..Big damn deal.
We Volunteers got a whole passel of mascots!
We got a student dressed up like a mountain man and he even has a rifle.
That is cool as hell!
We got us a real dog, that is some kind of blue tick hound
Which is awesome!
We got ourselves two students
That dress up like a female and a male dog in them foam rubber costumes.
Which is double-awesome!
Then we got us this ole boy in a foam rubber costume that looks like a orange!
“GO Big Orange!” Get it?

THREE – I don’t have a damn clue to what them gators fight song is about or what they doing with their arms a chomping.
But the Volunteers got us a “real” fight song!
It talks about laying around and drinking moonshine liquor and not paying no bills!
Now tell me that don’t sound like the life of Riley!

FOUR– Our quarterback is better than that damn old Tim Tebow.
Our Boy just ain’t won no awards cause he’s humble like that..
And wants the publicity on the team and not himself.

FIVE – Our Football Coach Lane Kiffin coached in the N-F-L, Ever heard of it?
In case you didn’t know that is PRO-FESSIONAL Football!
What has that Urban Myer done?
He Coached in some Pee-Wee league, big damn deal.
Also, I know for a damn fact
That Urban Myer wishes every single night he was coaching in Knoxville.
How do I know?
He come from Utah right?
When you send a picture postcard out that way what do you have to put down for the state? “UT”, I believe I done made my point.

SIX- We got us the best players in the damn country!
That’s why there ain’t nobody from Tennessee on the team!
Cause everybody from allover the country that is any good at football is coming to the Volunteeers!
What do them gators got? Some players from Florida, bigggggg deal.

SEVEN – Them gator fans ain’t sophisticated like we Vol fans is.
The closest them gator fans got to “culture” is when they walked by the yogart isle in Piggly Wiggly.
Thought that funny up by myself!

Now for Ole Hootie’s Predection:

VOLS 55
Gators 10

If you was a wondering why I didn’t pick the game as a shut out
It’s cause we got to play our scrubs sometime and them gators are lible to score on them once or twice

And don’t forget…
If you is in the neighborhood come on down to HOOT-R’s!
Enjoy the game with me and all the Volunterer Fans!
I got Possum Hot Wings and BBQ Muskrat Nuggets for everybody!
And as always something cold to wash it down with!
I will be dressed and ready? Will you?

GO VOLS!

Hootie – Out!

There won’t be any catchy picks through interpretive dance this week
It’s time to buckle down….
Last Week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator recorded a 50 and 12 for Week 2 of the college football picks or a rather substandard 80%.
That leaves us at 113 and 19 or 86% for the 2009 college football season.

But before we get to the games many of you have sent me emails about Myles Brand the President of the NCAA dying yesterday. Some have suggested that I should “feel” bad about the things I have written about him and a few even mentioned that he did “some good things” for college athletics.

Let me simply say this….
“Sic Semper Tyrannis”

Now on to this Weeks Picks..

Enjoy!

COACHES QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“It’s not the will to win that matters….everyone has that.
It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.”
Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant

THE GAMES

Thursday September 17th

Georgia Tech at Miami
This game will be too close to call..
But it’s important too remember this time of the year
Is Hurricane Season…
HURRICANES 31-28

Friday September 18th

Boise State at Fresno State
If the Bronco’s aren’t careful and I mean really careful….
They will find themselves with an “L” in this one
BRONCO’S 24-23

Saturday September 19th

Furman at Missouri
Don’t get me wrong….
I used to love the sideshows at the carnival
And I think it’s wonderful…
That a Furry Man made enough money as a Carney to purchase his own college
But I am a Three Stooges Fan
MO’S TIGERS 33-17

EDITORS NOTE: I wonder what the Yak Woman did with her money.

Chattanooga at Presbyterian
In this contest we have Racist Shoes and Blue Ho’s….
I really like the fact…
There is something here to offend almost everyone
RACIST SHOE U 24-17

EDITORS NOTE: I wonder….
If “tailgating” with Blue Ho’s has an entirely different meaning?
Never mind..

Northwestern at Syracuse
Sooner or Later “Otto the Orange” will win a game….
In this case it will be “Later”…
WILDCATS 23-17

Florida Atlantic at South Carolina
Of course the Atlantic Ocean borders the east coast of Florida
But do they have to constantly remind us of it?
GAMECOCKS 34-14

Ohio State at Toledo
This is a dangerous game for the Mighty Buckeyes…
The Rockets are coming off an emotional thrashing of Colorado
And the Buckeyes will have to rebound.
BUCKEYES 33-24

Temple at Penn State
I wasn’t aware they still played football at Temple?
Doesn’t matter…
JOE PA’S LIONS 44-0

Lycoming at Susquehanna
Since Susquehanna beat Juniata last weekend with her flip-flops…
I suspect this pesky foot fungus won’t stand a chance..
SUSQUEHANNA 31-10

California at Minnesota
The O’ So Golden Bears are well conditioned, fast and prepared…
And the O’ So very Golden Gophers…
Aren’t….
GOLDEN BEARS 33-13

East Carolina at North Carolina
UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!
East beats West in this one…
PIRATES 23-17

Duke at Kansas
I was going to watch this game…
But there is a T.J. Hooker mini-marathon on TV Land..
Sorry…
JAYHAWKS 20-14

Ursinus at Juniata
Before you even ask….
I have no idea why a urinary infection wants to attack Ole Juniata…
Thank God for antibiotics..
JUNIATA 20-17

Louisville at Kentucky
This game is entitled: The Battle for the Bluegrass….
This game has it all folks…
Fussing, fighting, bragging and hard feelings…
and that’s just in the parking lot before the game…
WILDCATS 34-31

Eastern Michigan at Michigan
There is “No” truth to the rumor
That a “Fly Over” at the Big House before the National Anthem is played…
Will include Coach Rod’s wife circling the stadium on her broom
I hope that cleared up any misunderstanding..
WOLVERINES 34-17

Boston College at Clemson
These Birds will get plucked in Death Valley…
Believe it…
DABO’S TIGERS 28-24

Wofford at Wisconsin
Why would you name your college after a respiratory illness?
What’s next “Mucus Plug Tech”?
That’s just disgusting..
CHEESE WHIZ 34-3

Defiance at Trine
“I don’t have trine to be defiant…”.
Thought that one up all by myself..
WHAT TRINE IS IT? 22-17

Ball State at Army
What do the coaches at West Point..
Make the football players watch to motivate them before a game…
“Steel Magnolias”?
CARDINALS 28-17

Northern Illinois at Purdue
I would tune into this game…
But ESPN U has a “live” telecast of the East Timor National “Jenga” Championships
BOILERMAKERS 31-17

North Texas at Alabama
Even though Denton Texas is a long way from the Coast…
The Mean Green is about to learn the meaning of…
High Tide..
CRIMSON TIDE 34-17

Tennessee at Florida
Back in the spring Coach Lane Kiffin accused Urban Myer of cheating….
Then he made unflattering remarks about the people of Florida…
Then he said……
He looked forward to singing Rocky Top all night long after they beat Florida, it will be a Blast!
This is going to be an ass whipping of Biblical proportions…
MIGHTY GATORS 43-10

EDITORS NOTE: If you look up “Stupid to the Bone” in Webster’s Dictionary
It says, “See Lane Kiffin”

Tulsa at Oklahoma
This game as all the ingredients of an “Upset Special”
It will be that close…
BRAD-LESS SOONERS 28-24

Haskell Indian Nations University at MacMurray College
The Great Jim Thorpe began his athletic career at Haskell…
They made a return to the college football ranks last year..
And that is good enough for me..
MIGHTY HASKELL 21-17

Southern California at Washington
In the name of the Original Dog Father; Coach Don James…
I will tell you…
The Huskies will keep this one closer than you think…
TROJAN$ 33-24

Nebraska at Virginia Tech
UPSET SPECIAL !!!
No Hokey, No Pokey…
Believe it….
HUSKERS 27-24

Utah at Oregon
This reminds me of a joke…
“So, these two Ute’s were walking down the street….”
Stop me if you’ve heard it..
TWO UTES 38-28

Michigan State at Notre Dame
There isn’t a spark left in the Spartans
Fact…
FIGHTN’ IRISH 38-17

Wyoming at Colorado
Call it an “Upset Special” if you want too…
I call it…
COWBOY UP! 34-31

MTSU at Maryland
I am not completely sure about this..
But I believe that “MTSU” is Latin for…
NINJA TURTLES 38-14

Indiana at Akron
What do we have in this game: Zips and Hoosiers?
I don’t know which sounds worse…
“Hoosier Zip?”
Or…
“Zip your Hoosier”
I think it’s the later..
HOOSIERS 23-21

Virginia at Southern Miss
For the folks from Charlottesville..
This game is what I affectionately refer to as…
An old fashioned South Mississippi ass whipping
Enjoy…
GOLDEN EAGLES 31-10

Alcorn State at Central Michigan
Do you really think I would go against Coach Jones and the Chippewa’s?
Not a chance…
CHIPPEWA’S 27-14

Arizona at Iowa
This one will be come down to who has the football, last
HAWKEYES 23-21

Florida International at Rutgers
Why is this university so “International”?
Is it located near the airport?
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 31-17

Connecticut at Baylor
The Boys from Waco are for Real…..
Believe it…
BEARS 24-14

Southern Methodist at Washington State
I know this is Conference USA against the “all powerful” PAC 10
So I have two words for you….
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 33-28

Garner Webb at North Carolina State
I thought Mr. and Mrs. Webb raised their boy “Garner” to be smarter than that.
He should know better than to tangle with a pack of wolves.
WOLFPACK 44-10

Navy at Pittsburgh
UPSET SPECIAL!
Yes, I am serious….
MIDSHIPMEN 28-24

Elon at Wake Forest
That little Cuban boy is going to get the hell beat out him…
DEMON DEACONS 34-17

Cincinnati at Oregon State
This game is going to be a tussle from start to finish…
Believe it…
BEAVERS 34-31

Rice at Oklahoma State
The Cowboys are mad as Hell….
And Rice has a wonderful Computer Science Library…
Do the math…
COWBOYS 44-17

U La La at LSU
The Cajuns will be Ragin’….
But this is home to Mike the Tiger….
Billy Cannon and the Chinese Bandits…
And in case you didn’t know…
They call it “Death Valley” for a reason…
FIGHTN’ TIGERS 33-17

Texas State at Texas Christian
If this was a boxing match the referee’s would stop the game after they heard
“And the home of the Brave….”
HORNED FROGS 146-0

Florida State at Brigham Young
The folks from the Land of Donny and Marie
Will have a rude welcome in store for Coach Bobby and the Seminoles
COUGARS 27-20

Charleston Southern at South Florida
It’s the second trip this year to Florida for the Boys from Charleston
unfortunately for them…..
Same result
NO BULL 44-10

Mississippi State at Vanderbilt
The Dawgs and Dores will battle it out in the Music City
This one will be close…..
COMMODORES 20-18

UNC Pembroke at Carson Newman
Pembroke?
Aren’t those the people that market smoked meat and cheese at Christmas?
I can’t have them competing against my “newest” sponsor.
Just remember, when you think about canned meat and cheese..
Think “Yoder’s”
The Amish Meat and Cheese Company
SPARKS EAGLES 38-10

Utah State at Texas A&M
In this battle between Aggies…
I have to go with my favorite Agro-Americans…
I am just keeping it real
GIG EM AGGIES 33-10

Bowling Green at Marshall
I watched my favorite college football movie last night
“WE ARE MARSHALL”
Enough said…
THUNDERING HERD 28-24

Iowa State at Kent State
Every time I hear “Golden Flashes”…
I think of the cast from “Golden Girls” flashing the audience
I just threw up a little bit when I was typing this…
CYCLONES 23-20

Nicholls State at Louisiana Tech
The Folks from State are going to feel..
Like they got hit with a bag of Nickels by the time this one is over.
BULLDOGS 43-10

Southeastern Louisiana at Ole Miss
This game is going to be uglier than Hillary Clinton in a bikini
Sorry for the disturbing visual
REBELS 48-0

Air Force at New Mexico
Doesn’t the Air Force have a bombing range in New Mexico?
I thought so…
FALCONS 33-28

Georgia at Arkansas
This contest is between the Hawgs and Dawgs…
Isn’t that a German Ice Cream?
Never mind…
This game could go either way..
DAWGS 33-31

West Georgia at North Alabama
We are a long way from the Championship Game for this Division…
But I believe there will be another National Championship coming to Florence
MIGHTY LIONS 28-17

West Virginia at Auburn
Save a Couch….
Beat the Mountaineers…
WAR DAMN EAGLE 34-21

Texas Tech at Texas
The folks in burnt orange have waited a whole year for this game
And it’s like I always say..
“Revenge is best served in your home stadium”
LONGHORNS 38-17

Tennessee Martin at Memphis
I don’t know what Martin was thinking when he scheduled this game..
He must have been liquored up
TIGERS 24-16

San Jose State at Stanford
I had every intention of watching this game….
That was until I heard
There is a “Billy Jack” marathon on Turner Classic Movies
They are showing the entire Billy Jack trilogy…
A man has to have his priorities in order
CARDINAL 6-5

Louisiana Monroe at Arizona State
Unfortunately this game comes on after the San Jose State – Stanford game
And that will conflict with me watching the second movie in the “Billy Jack” trilogy
Sorry…
DEVILS of the SUN 41-17

Kansas State at UCLA
Hello? Trilogy as in the number three
I can’t watch this game and miss the last “Billy Jack” movie
It just wouldn’t be right….
BRUINS 27-17

Hootie Snitch will have his “Gator Special” out tomorrow…
So stay tuned..

Enjoy your games….

RTR
MEB