Despite the emotional roller coaster the majority of us experienced during Thanksgiving

And I am not referencing Aunt Edna’s bathroom “issues” either…
That’s a totally separate issue…

No I am talking about our beloved college football rivalries
And we aren’t finished yet….
This week we have the “Civil War”
And……..
The Conference Championship Games

But before we get to these and other games….
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was 31 and 14 or 69% during the rough and tumble rivalry week
and that leaves me at 564 and 161 for the season holding steady at 78%.

Not too bad considering it was “Rivalry Week”

Enjoy your games!

Thursday December 3rd

Oregon State at Oregon
This game is called the “Civil War” for a reason….
But make no mistake, there is nothing “Civil” about this rivalry…
I won’t belabor the point here, but last year the Quackers upset the Beavers..
This year the beavers return the “Favor”
MIGHTY BEAVERS 33-28

Friday December 4th

Ohio at Central Michigan
I know Coach Frank’s Bobcat’s have been tough as of late….
But there is something they way Coach Lou Holtz says “Chippewa’s that makes me believe
It might be the way he spits on Mark May when he says it, never mind..
I’m a believer
CHIPPEWA’S 34-28

Saturday December 5th

Cincinnati at Pittsburg
Who would have believed this headline back in August?
The BearKats go undefeated….
Believe it….
BEARKATS 31-17

West Virginia at Rutgers
The only way the Scarlett Knights will win this game is if my Italian American friends “get involved”
They told me that wouldn’t…
So, Light those couches!
MOUNTAINEERS 33-21

Fresno State at Illinois
I know it’s not October, so a Fighting Pumpkin reference seems out of place
Unless you like pumpkin pie, which I do…
So the reference is still good
ZOOK’S FIGHTING PUMPKINS 38-17

New Mexico State at Boise State
Remember when I picked the Bronco’s to go undefeated at the beginning of the season?
Yeah, I was right (Please hold your applause until the end of the picks)
BRONCO’S 44-17

Arizona at Southern California
I heard a really good joke the other day, you want to hear it?
What’s the difference between Coach Pete and a whiny sniveling self absorbed jackass?
None….That’s funny as hell isn’t it?
WILDCATS 28-21

California at Washington
This game will be a lot like the Southeastern Conference Championship game.
Minus the fans, the marquee players, the shot at the National Championship and the television viewership, but other than that it’s exactly the same.
HUSKIES 28-24

South Florida at Connecticut
The boys from Tampa Town have been beaten up as of late
and this game will be no exception and that’s no bull
HUSKIES 28-17

Carson Newman at Grand Valley State
Coach Spark’s Eagles beat my Lions in Florence last Saturday.
Avenging their loss to them earlier in the year and advancing in the Division II playoffs
The best ground game in Division II college football rolls this Saturday
SPARK’S EAGLES 33-28

Wisconsin at Hawaii
I wonder if Dog the Bounty Hunter likes Cheese?
Behold the Power of Cheese….
BADGERS 34-21

Atlantic Coast Conference Championship
Clemson and Georgia Tech
Both teams lost their rivalry games with their instate Southeastern Conference opponents
But that doesn’t mean this game is any less important..
This is the second game of the season between these two teams…
The first game was a wild one…
This one won’t be any different
DABO’S TIGERS 33-28

Big 12 Championship
Nebraska and Texas
The Children of the Corn will keep this one close with the Black Shirts working overtime
But the Longhorns are headed to the National Championship game
Believe it…..
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-17

Southeastern Conference Championship
Alabama and Florida
A Clash for the ages….
My Friends there are no “losers” here
CRIMSON TIDE 24-20

There is more to come with Hootie Snitch and next weeks picks…
So Stay tuned…

Have Great weekend…

RTR
MEB

Today is Thanksgiving….
To most people that means three things….
Family, food and football….
And not necessarily in that order…

We have a cornucopia of rivalries this weekend……
Overflowing with hate and discontent…..
Ah, Good Times…

I can hardly wait to dig in, but before we do
Let’s be thankful for what we have and not grumble about what we don’t have….

For example, I am thankful last week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator…..
was a rather “average” 41 and 11 or 79%, leaving me at 533 and 147 or 78% for the season.
(Noticed how I weaved the weekly statistics in so inconspicuously…..)

All things considered, we all have it pretty damn good

Happy Thanksgiving to you all

Enjoy your games!

Thursday November 26th

Texas at Texas A&M
The Lone Star Showdown
I remember the cheap shots on Colt McCoy…….
and the “down horns” signs by the Aggie players a couple of years ago…..
the bad news…..
The Longhorns remember it too….
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 43-17

Tuskegee at Alabama State
The “Turkey Day Classic” as it is known, has been played since 1901.
Which coincidently is the same year Coach Bobby was born….
GOLDEN TIGERS 24-21

Friday November 27th

Nevada at Boise State
This isn’t a rivalry game…..
It’s just and Old Fashioned Boise State ass whipping
BRONCOS 38-23

Illinois at Cincinnati
Some people are calling for a Fighting Pumpkin “Upset”
I don’t happen to be one of “those” people
BEARKATS 33-17

Rutgers at Louisville
After the Scarlet Knights lost last week to (of all teams…)
Syracuse…
The Jersey Campus was reported to have smelled like old pancakes and shame…
But then they realized they lived in New Jersey, which explained the smell.
SCARLET KNIGHTS 24-17

Toledo at Bowling Green
This is the Battle of I-75 for the coveted “Peace Pipe”
The trophy alone tells you this isn’t a fierce rivalry.
If it was a serious rivalry, the word “peace” wouldn’t be in the equation.
FALCONS 24-20

Pittsburg at West Virginia
The Backyard Brawl
The name says it all…..
Two neighbors battle it out on a chilly night in Morgantown
Light those couches…
MOUNTAINEERS 24-21

Northern Illinois at Central Michigan
This game isn’t a rivalry and it isn’t a backyard brawl…
It’s about Chippewa’s riding the Huskies like midgets in a rodeo
Sorry for the visual….
That disturbed me a little bit too..
CHIPPEWA’S 34-13

Wyoming at Colorado State
This rivalry is known as “The Border War” and it is played each year for
“The Bronze Boot”….
The rams get the boot this year, but not where they thought they were going to get it..
COWBOY UP! 28-17

Temple at Ohio
The Bobcats are playing well, but the Owls are inspired…
HOOT OWLS 33-21

Buffalo at Kent State
It’s Thanksgiving for Goodness sake….
Who wants to think about the “Golden Flashes” this time of the year?
Makes you think about Grandma getting in the dinner wine and flashing the guests
NO BULL 38-10

Nebraska at Colorado
The Children of the Corn haven’t forgotten……..
About the pasting the Buffalos gave them a few years ago…..
in fact they are still down right sore about it.
That isn’t good news for Ralphie
CORNHUSKERS 31-17

Memphis at Tulsa
I would care about this game…..
But the Iron Bowl is getting ready to come on.
Sorry…
HURRICANES OF GOLDEN 24-20

Alabama at Auburn
The Iron Bowl
The name says it all….
CRIMSON TIDE 24-14

Saturday November 20th

Florida State at Florida
This is the Sunshine State Showdown
It is played for the Governors Cup
The Tallahassee paper has reported this week…
Coach Bobby is “ready” for the game….
What they “meant” to say was ….
Coach Bobby is “ready” to go to the bathroom without assistance…
Not that this story has anything to do with Thanksgiving…
But it is the season of “sharing”, so I felt obligated to share.
MIGHTY GATORS 34-17

Virginia Tech at Virginia
In Virginia nothing is as important as the “Commonwealth Cup”
Which by my estimation……
Will stay in Blacksburg until Hell freezes over.
MIGHTY HOKIES 33-17

Miami (FL) at South Florida
Unless you have seen an actual Hurricane….
Loose in your house you cannot discount their power or destruction.
In case you were wondering, “yes”…..
I am referring to the Thanksgiving when my sister-in-law visited two years ago.
The Damage is as yet to be fully assessed.
HURRICANES 33-14

Oklahoma State at Oklahoma
The Bedlam Game for the Bedlam Bell
There is nothing more important today in the Great State of Oklahoma…
Not Births, not deaths, not bar mitzvahs, not anything.
This is it….
COWBOY UP! 31-17

Carson Newman at North Alabama
The quarter finals of the Division II College Football Playoffs
These teams played each other earlier in the season, with the Lions winning.
Different day, same result….
MIGHTY LIONS ROAR 34-31

Missouri at Kansas
This game is called the Border War….
It’s played for the “Indian War Drum” and the Lamar Hunt Trophy
Some still call this a “Civil War”, but make no mistake…
There is nothing “Civil” about this rivalry
MO’S TIGERS 38-14

Georgia at Georgia Tech
Sure, this game is for the “Governors Cup”
But this rivalry is known as “Clean Old Fashioned Hated”
That my friends, sums it up nicely….
YELLOW JACKETS 31-28

Clemson at South Carolina
The game is called the “Battle of the Palmetto State”
Coach Sweeny is an Alabama man….
And that’s good enough for me…
DABO’S TIGER 33-17

Grambling State at Southern University
The Bayou Classic
Have I mentioned lately that I’m a Coach Rob guy?
I have?
Good, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page
ROB’S TIGERS 38-17

Rice at Houston
The Battle for the Bayou Bucket
My favorite pudding gets whipped in H-Town…
Believe it…
COUGARS 43-14

Arizona at Arizona State
This instate rivalry is affectionately known as the “Duel in the Desert”
And it’s played for the “Territorial Cup”
Which I think resembles a bucket of sand….
WILDCATS 24-21

Tennessee at Kentucky
This game has always been known as “The Battle for the Beer Barrel”
And the keg goes to…..
WILDCAT BLUE 33-24

Boston College at Maryland
This game promises chills and thrills…
Who am I kidding nobody is going to watch this damn game…
CHESTNUT HILL EAGLES 24-17

Wake Forest at Duke
Demon Deacons and Blue Devils….
Kind of sounds like Jimmy Swaggart holding his breath…..
DEMON DEACONS 28-24

North Carolina at North Carolina State
The Battle for Tobacco Road…..
The Heels have a tough defense and State has an amazing engineering department
Yeah, this one shouldn’t be too tough….
TAR OF HEELS 33-13

Texas Tech at Baylor
I doubted the power of the Red Raider’s last week…
I thank everyone in the Red Raider nation for pointing my error out….
I should have known better…
Lubbock is the Home of Buddy Holley…
Enough said, Peggy Sue
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 43-21

Washington State at Washington
This instate rivalry game is played for the “Apple Cup”
Please note…..
If your “rivalry” game has a flower, a fruit or any members of the “Village People”
In the name, then it doesn’t count as a “real” rivalry, sorry.
I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.
HUSKIES 17-10

Ole Miss at Mississippi State
The Egg Bowl….
Few rivalries outside the Iron Bowl are bitterer than this contest….
I can feel the heads of Mississippians nodding everywhere….
I wish I had better news Bulldog Jim….
REBELS 33-17

Syracuse at Connecticut
Not that I care because I don’t…….
But I have obligations too….
HUSKIES 24-21

New Mexico at Texas Christian
I can’t say that I have actually seen a horned amphibian ride a Lobo…
Not even on the Animal Planet….
But rules like records are meant to be broken…
(My personal motto….)
HORNED FROGS 43-10

Southern Miss at East Carolina
I have gotten back in good graces with my Hattiesburg faithful…
So I don’t intend on taking a step backwards at this point….
Let’s face it….
Few things in life are as good as Mississippi BBQ….
A man has to have his priorities….
GOLDEN EAGLES 31-17

Central Florida at UAB
What the hell is a “Blazer” anyway?
Something on sale from the Men’s Warehouse?
That’s a stupid mascot….
Everybody Run! Here comes a Sport Coat!
I don’t get it…
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 38-17

Tulane at Southern Methodist
My Proud Ponies are a “win” a way from going to a Bowl game…
They won’t disappoint me….
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 34-23

Marshall at Texas El Paso
Three simple words here….
WE ARE MARSHALL 31-24

Utah at Brigham Young
This is the “Holy War” for the “Beehive Boot”
I can’t say I have ever put my foot in a boot full of bees….
But I saw this dumbass in Michigan once…
Never mind those people from Michigan have suffered enough…
TWO UTES 33-31

Utah State at Idaho
This game is being played at the home of the Vandals….
I respect people whose mascot looks like a foam rubber Genghis Khan…
THE MIGHTY KHANS 38-17

Arkansas at LSU
The Battle for the four foot tall “Golden Boot”
The past two years it has resided in Fayetteville….
There won’t be a change of address left at the Post Office this year….
RAZORBACKS 34-24

Notre Dame at Stanford
The winner of this game wins the “Legends Trophy”
I am assuming by the title it has Knute Rockne’s skull atop the trophy…
Which is creepy…
CARDINAL 34-31

New Mexico State at San Jose State
I would watch this game but the Animal Planet has a “Thanksgiving” Special
On the dental hygiene of the platypus
Don’t laugh….
It will be a hell of a lot more entertaining than this game…
JOSE CUERVO 34-10

UCLA at Southern California
The Battle in the City of Botox Angels for the “Victory Bell”
Gosh, I would care, but I have to do my laundry, sorry….
BRUINS 33-31

Navy at Hawaii
This game reminds me….
I want to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to “Dog the Bounty Hunter”
I love those guys…
MIDSHIPMEN 34-17

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving….
And a great weekend of college football….

Stay tuned…
There is more to come..

RTR
MEB

This past weekend many of us experienced a variety of emotions
Fright, fear, disappointment, surprise and some elation.
And that was just during game day tailgating.

But that aside
Lets take a look back..
At our second week of College Football and answer a few of your email questions and answers.

Your Week 3 Picks will be out on Thursday..
And Hootie Snitch will have what he describes as a “Gator Special” out for you on Friday.

Enjoy your Monday Morning Rewind

TEAM NEWS

WEBSTER’S DICTIONARY: If you look up “Ass Whipping” in Webster’s
It says “See Stephen F. Austin scoring 92 points against Texas College”

EDITORS NOTE: Texas College should have known better
I know enough about Texas History to know you don’t mess with Stephen F. Austin.

GEORGIA: If you saw the Georgia Bulldog – South Carolina Gamecock game between the hedges this past Saturday night you may have noticed something different on the back of the Bulldog’s helmets.

At least I hope you noticed it…..

The Bulldogs were wearing the unit insignia of Georgia’s 48th Infantry Brigade Combat Team
currently deployed to Afghanistan.

Coach Mark Richt was turned on to the idea after receiving an e-mail from a soldier stationed in Afghanistan. Lt. Col. John Gentry, who is also director of the Oconee County Parks and Recreation department, first suggested it as a way to honor the seven soldiers from the 48th brigade who have died in combat.
Coach Richt, who visited U.S. troops in Germany and the Middle East last summer, said wearing the insignia is a way to show the team’s appreciation for the troops and their families.
Coach Richt said, “Hopefully, this is a sign of our appreciation for all the men and women who are serving and for their families as well. We owe them all the support we can give,”

EDITORS NOTE: If Coach Richt isn’t a class act, then I don’t know what is..

OKLAHOMA STATE: When are you going to learn to start listening to me?
What did I tell the Cowboy’s last week?

The Cowboys had better be careful…
The Cougars are for real….

Enough said….

DIVISION III: Susquehanna at Juniata
I know I picked Juniata…..
But I had no idea that Susquehanna was wearing her pink “Baby Girl” sweat pants
That was the difference maker right there…

DIVISION III PART II: Gallaudet at Hiram
Hiram would have won this one…
But I have on good authority that the Frenchman hit Hiram when he wasn’t looking
Everything about that is just wrong

SOUTHERN METHODIST: I cannot believe that I doubted my Mighty Mustangs
I should be ashamed of myself…and I am

FLORIDA STATE: I won’t use this forum to regurgitate the on going war of words between the NCAA and Florida State University over the public disclosure of the NCAA “investigation” into athletes at the university.
But I will say this…
If we had more University Presidents in this country like Florida State University President T. K. Wetherell the NCAA wouldn’t be the dictatorship that it has become.

THE OHIO STATE: I have only two words to say to you today….
Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn it.

EDITORS NOTE: It warmed my heart to see perhaps the greatest hitter in the history of football on the Buckeye sidelines Saturday night…
The Great Jack Tatum….
There will never be another one like you Jack….

Certainly not in “Professional Football”
Pro Football today looks more the offspring of flag football and basketball.

ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION: Recently…
The AJC stated concerning the Oregon Duck Player that showed his butt on national television…
“Blount rushed for 10,002 yards last season, he will be sorely missed in Eugene.”

EDITORS NOTE: I guess he REALLY will be missed….
Because that comes out to almost a 1,000 yards a damn game!

CENTRAL MICHIGAN: This past Saturday…
The Chippewa’s Coach Butch Jones went for two points with a little over a minute left in the game with Michigan State because he didn’t want to play in overtime.
They didn’t convert….
Coach Jones called for an onside kick….
The Chippewa’s got the ball back….
They proceeded to drive down the field and kick the winning field goal as time expired.
I am convinced that Coach Jones has Ice Water in his veins..
Congratulations to Coach Jones and the Chippewa’s for an incredible victory.

WEST POINT: Seriously, you guys couldn’t beat Duke?

THE BIG TEN CONFERENCE: What the Hell guys? What the Hell….

ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE: Please see “The Big Ten Conference” above

COLORADO: I want to apologize to the Buffalo Faithful
I had no idea…
That since my sister-in-law is no longer the Colorado “stunt” Buffalo mascot..
It would cause the football team to fall apart. Who would have believed it?
I never thought she was that popular…

MICHIGAN: Just a comment about the Notre Dame game….
Having Coach Rod’s wife in the end zone flashing Fighting Irish players to make them drop the football and distract them; is just wrong.
It also is the leading cause of blindness in Ann Arbor.

TENNESSEE: In his first nine months on the job…
Coach Lane Kiffin came off as…
(Place favorite your description here)

After Tennessee’s season-opening blowout of Western Kentucky last weekend
Coach Lane Kiffin was down right smug.
Humility was served in Neyland Stadium on Saturday.
But I would suggest Lane Kiffin needs to save some of that humility for later.
The Volunteers play at Florida on Saturday. Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Case in point…
Lane Kiffin’s comments are posted in every locker in Gainesville

EMAIL QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

Q: What the heck dude?
As a student at Susquehanna University I need to set you straight on our fine college.
We are a University not a Hispanic American Woman.
Same goes for your reference to another college in the northeast.
Marist is a college, not a woman. They are called the Red Foxes.
Sincerely
Marty – Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania

A: That’s odd…
I though Marist was a brunette?

Q: Dear Sir
Your attempt at humor in recent articles, at the expense of Native American peoples; is at the least offensive and at its worst racist.
You need to reevaluate your priorities and establish a goal on uniting people, not dividing them. Or in the words of the wisest of all Native American Shaman: Eagle Feather
“To Nack-a See O-Sa Kama Ta-na Una Kin Che-awa”
Which translated means, “A Lone Buffalo feels the loneliness of the plains”

I hope you let these words sink deep in your heart
Sincerely –
Native American Indian Federation – Durant, Oklahoma

A: Are you sure that is an accurate translation?
Because I thought it meant….
“We don’t have a blanket for a diuretic horse”

Q: Come On Mister Wizard!
Last week you picked the “Boy’s from Chili Town” in a huge upset win over Rutgers!
And we really appreciate it!
But, then you left us off the picks in week two!
What gives?
GO BEARKATS!
Chuck – Dayton, Ohio

A: I like everything about Cincinnati
But it’s like this Chuck….
Where is my Skyline and Goldstar Chili?
Prognostication has its price.

Q: Mister Wizerd –
What in the Sam Hill done went and a happeened?
I seen them Volunteers lose to something they call the U-C-L and A,
What the Hell is that anyways?
Sounds like the name of one of them big compainies and that ain’t right!
One week we beat everybody in the western part of Kentucky, including Paducah and then we got to play a damn corporation! That’s a like playing professionals!
But I know you is wanting to ask, Hell No I ain’t worried about no gators!
We gonna whoop their damn florida gator ass!
Now I done went an forgot my question
GO Vols!
Scooter Cooter – Twisted Branch, Tennessee

A: I am serious; you Tennessee Volunteer fans need to get “Spell Check”

Q: Mike please don’t sugar coat it.
Give it to me straight……..
Are we Oklahoma Sooners screwed without Sam Bradford at Quarterback?
Danny – Norman, Oklahoma

A: “Circle get’s the Square on that one Danny”

EDITORS NOTE: For those of you under the age of forty…
That was an affirmative answer to the question utilizing a reference from “Hollywood Squares”

Q: Mike we flew out from California for the Bruin – Volunteer game and man it was awesome! Really glad our Bruins were able to pull it out, because that was a tough place to play! But I have a question for you…
Living in Los Angeles, I am used to the smell of our smog.
But we couldn’t identify the smell in Knoxville, what was that?
Thanks!
Sigma Alpha Epsilon UCLA – Los Angeles, California

A: You must be referring to the smell of wet dog food and ass; it’s rather pungent this time of year in OBKnoxville.

Q: Dear Mister Wizard
After writing you last week, and with your encouragement, I have decided to follow my dream.
I am now in the process of becoming the best Kenny Rogers impersonator in the tri-state area. I
f you closed your eyes while I sing “Islands in the Stream” (I do both Kenny and Dolly’s parts thanks to an unfortunate weed-eater accident) you would swear you were listening to the man himself!
So thank you for the encouragement, I am on my way to the top!
Jack McCracken – Cincinnati, Ohio

A: You are the first person I have ever encountered
That thought a “restraining order” constituted “encouragement”

Your Week 3 Picks will be out on Thursday and don’t forget…
The “Number 1 Tennessee Volunteer Fan on the Planet”
Mister Hootie Snitch will have what he describes as a “Gator Special” on Friday
So stay tuned…
RTR
MEB