Well my friends it’s the last official week of the 2010 College Football Season…..
It’s been a wild year…..

This year has had more surprises than a birthday party at a schizophrenic’s house
And it’s been just as crazy.

Nobody guessed Auburn and Oregon in the BCS Title game…
(Certainly not yours truly)

And I couldn’t imagine the Texas Longhorns not being in a Bowl game….
Or Coach Meyer leaving Gainesville…..

College Football is a lot like life and I suppose that’s one of the reasons we love it.
Each season and each game brings new hope….
It brings the occasional joy and disappointment…..
It makes us happy and it should make us humble….

The 2010 College Football Season is coming to a close…..

But have no fear my dear readers….
We will have the Prognostications on the College Bowl Season….
As well as season ending Awards and a “special” Christmas message from…
The Number One Tennessee Fan on the Planet: Hootie Snitch

And just maybe a Christmas story or two…..

There is more on the way so stay tuned….

Enjoy Your Picks…

Breaking College Football News

Over the years, many of you have inquired about…..
“Whatever happened to Little David Wilkins” also known as the “King of All Tavern Music“.
Certainly his hugely popular self-titled album (known to all)…..
“Little David Wilkins: The King of all Tavern Music“….
Surpassed even the Bee Gees in select accordion polka markets in the 1970’s…..

Although snubbed by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame….
I’m sure you all know he transformed the music industry and his soothing sounds are a staple in taxi cabs and elevators from Cleveland Ohio to Terre Haute Indiana.

I am sad to report the mystery of his disappearance has been solved.

Evidence has surfaced that former Tennessee football coach Phil Fulmer ate “Little David Wilkins” on a Ritz cracker on a dare at a party at his house in Maryville Tennessee in the spring of 1997.
The evidence recovered consisted of a shoe reportedly belonging to “Little David”, a belt buckle and his personalized genuine mother of pearl accordion.

The evidence was recovered during a routine colonoscopy conducted on Phil Fulmer in December of this year. Also found in Phil Fulmer’s large intestine, but not related to this investigation was a bumper from a 1971 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme.

The investigation is ongoing and as of yet, there are no reported arrests.

PRE-GAME WARM UP

Minus this week’s selections…….
Your Favorite College Prognosticator finished the 2010 College Football Season….
595 and 148 or an above average 80% for the entire year…

Not too bad all things considered….

But I know what you are saying about last week…..
I shouldn’t have picked Mercy Me this close to Christmas to beat a Sheppard….
And I know….
The Mules went down and the Fighting Okra didn’t get fried…..
And I certainly didn’t think the South Carolina Gamecocks would forget how to tackle…

But sometimes…….
Even I miss one or two or three……

EMAIL LETTERS OF THE WEEK

Q: Mister Wizard I have a question for the Holidays that I hope you can answer..
In the comedy classic movie “Bettlejuice”….
If someone said his name three times in succession Beetlejuice himself would appear.
During the Christmas season, if someone says “Ho-Ho-Ho”….
Does that mean Michigan Coach Rich Rod’s wife Rita Rod will suddenly show up?

GO BUCKS
Steve – Columbus, Ohio

A: Good question Steve…..
Fortunately for the rest of us that “curse”…..
Only applies to those schools residing within the Big Ten.

Q: Mister Wizard I saw something a week ago I couldn’t believe.
I was surfing through some channels trying to find a college football game….
And O’ My God…..
I saw some female cheerleaders on the sidelines and they looked like they were the off-spring of a romance between the Navy Midshipmen Goat mascot and the Oregon State Beaver mascot.
I have never seen such crossed eyed buck toothed girls in my entire life.
I swear one of them even had chin whiskers.

Rob – Pensacola, Florida

A: The game you are referring to Rob….
Would be the Notre Dame – Southern California game.
If it makes you feel any better, you are not the only one that has had that type of reaction to seeing the Notre Dame Cheerleaders. Those girls could floss with a number two pencil.

Q: Mister Wizard…….
My Beloved Longhorns aren’t going to a Bowl Game this year….
And to be honest…
I wouldn’t care if they were going to the Turkey Testicle Bowl and playing a damn team from the Taxidermy Academy. I just wanted to see them play one more time….
Now I have to take my damn family to the movies and see some Harry Potter whatever….
How many of those Harry Potter movies are they going to make anyway?
Thanks for letting me vent…

Terry – Austin, Texas

A: To my knowledge Terry, there is yet one more planned installment to the Harry Potter “series”. It’s called “Harry Potter and the Magical Curse of the Nursing Home”

DROPPING SOME KNOWLEDGE ON YO’ ASS
BY RUFUS JOHNSON

“Just so’s you know……
I still ain’t over the Iron Bowl: Not by a damn sight”

EDITORS NOTE: I feel you brother…

THE PICKS

Friday December 10th

New Hampshire at Delaware
I like the motto of New Hampshire….
“Live Free or Die”
But I am going with the cold chickens in this one…
BLUE HENS 34-24

Saturday December 11th

Villanova at Appalachian State
Little known fact…..
“Villanova” spelled backwards is Latin for…..
“I like to smell my hands after I scratch my butt”
Which is disgusting…
MOUNTAINEERS 28-24

Georgia Southern at Wofford
I cannot in good conscience pull for a school named after a pesky cough
Especially during cold and flu season…..
EAGLES 24-17

Alabama State at Texas Southern
I do love those Hornets from Alabama…..
But the Tigers have the “Motion of the Ocean Soul Marching Band”
And before you ask…
Yes that matters in this selection…
TIGERS in MOTION 33-24

North Dakota State at Eastern Washington
The Bison have beaten the big boys this year and continued to roll….
While the Eagles have just gotten by….
Plus I really like Bison Burgers from Ted’s Montana Grill….
So there you have it..
BISONS 43-24

Army at Navy
There is no finer game in all of College Football…..
The sportsmanship….
The intensity….
The dedication and determination…
There is no controversy about somebody’s daddy getting the academy to “pay” for their son’s services; these sons will soon be paying for their service to their country.
It’s all on display….
Enjoy college football in its purest form…..
MIDSHIPMEN 28-21

The Division II Semi-Final Games…..

Sheppard at Delta State
I know I shouldn’t pick against the Sheppard’s this close to Christmas….
But I’m an Okra Man…..
(In case you were wondering I prefer it fried)
FIGHTING OKRA 28-24

Northwest Missouri at Minnesota Duluth
I know the James – Younger Boys didn’t fair too well on their last trip to Minnesota
I am going with an upset in this one….
MO’S WEST 33-28

In the coming weeks, we will have a variety of Bowl predictions to include…..
The National Championship Game

A very “special” Christmas message by Hootie Snitch….
And More….
So stay tuned…

Enjoy Your Games

RTR
THE CFB WIZARD

Although this is your last regular weekly college football pick….
The season is far from over; we still have the 2009 Bowl Game Spectacular
And Your College Football Prognosticators end of the season Awards.
They are very prestigious.

The CFB Wizard Christmas “Special”

And somewhere between now and the end of the year
We will catch up with Hootie Snitch and get his “unique” perspective on college football.

So have no fear your stockings will not be empty this year…..

This past week I was 10 and 4 or 71%, but I won the most important game on my list.

For the 2009 season (minus the one game we have this week)
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was 574 and 165 or a steady 78%

We will go “old school” in this week’s pick
The same format I used to have “back in the day”

There will be reader email questions and answers…..
Along with News from around the College Football World and the pick for the Army-Navy game.

It’s been a great ride this year, thank you all for coming along.

Enjoy!

TEAM NEWS

TENNESSEE: This week it was reported the NCAA is “investigating” the Volunteers for recruiting violations.
The charges revolve around the use of university “hostesses” in the recruiting process.
Notice I didn’t say “Hookers”…..
Because I have on good authority Coach Rich Rod’s wife wasn’t in Knoxville at the time of the alleged incidents.
But you want to know what I think, here you go…
Nobody and I mean NOBODY is harder on the Volunteers than yours truly.
So here is my solution to this vexing problem.
The member universities of the Southeastern Conference ask the NCAA and their team of talented “investigators”
about the status of the University of Southern California Trojan “investigation” into Reggie Bush.
We already know what the answer will be, don’t we?
So collectively and individually the universities tell the NCAA to kiss our Southern Ass until Coach Pete and the Trojans are punished, until then don’t let us catch one of your candy ass “investigators” on our campuses.
NCAA, you want to punish us? You might want to check with ABC Sports, CBS Sports and ESPN and ALL the folks paying that big money for commercial time on the major networks too.
And Until I hear or read about Coach Pete and the Trojans being punished;
I don’t want to hear a damn thing about the Volunteers “violations” of NCAA rules.

NOTRE DAME: This past week Charlie Weis was dismissed from the Fighting Irish
The national sports media descended on Charlie because he dared to allude to a “certain” Coach living in Malibu…..
With a grad student, without his wife’s knowledge.
Everybody jumped on board…
Some called Charlie “bitter” and some said he was
“Burning every bridge on the way out of South Bend”
Because, after all….
We can’t criticize Coach Pete, what is he now sixth in the PAC 10 Conference?
That Star-Kist Tuna Bowl is looking pretty sweet about now, am I right Coach Pete?

This just goes to show you how screwed up our Sports Media really is…
How about asking Coach Pete about the babe at the beach
If not that, how about asking him about the Reggie Bush investigation?

KANSAS: As you may have read, Coach Mark Mangino retired as the Jayhawks Football Coach.
Some have criticized him for the way he treated his players.
Others claimed he left because Kansas had a bad season.
The truth is, Coach Mark had nothing left to prove.
He won an Orange Bowl and he beat anorexia
Enough said..

FAT PHIL FUMER: It was reported this week that “Fat Phil Fulmer” is interested in the Notre Dame coaching job. But what was not reported was that Coach Phil went through his 6 million dollar golden handshake the University of Tennessee gave him to get his fat ass off Beacon Hill, by binging on Krispy Kreme Bear Claws and Jelly Donuts.

EDITORS NOTE: I am sure Notre Dame would be interested in Coach Phil,
If they wanted a paranoid liar and someone that would “work like heck” and didn’t mind his players raping underage mentally challenged girls in the Athletic dorm.

OREGON: I was going to try and say something positive here about the Quacks win in the annual Civil War.
But, I keep drawing a blank.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: I was going to say something how asinine Coach Pete and the Trojans acted
when they scored on UCLA with 48 seconds left, but you all knew that already.
So instead, I will say this….
Seriously, no Shiite you all aren’t on NCAA probation yet?

CARSON NEWMAN: After Coach Spark’s Eagles beat the Mighty Lions of North Alabama,
I would have thought they were a lock for the Division II Championship.
That was until they got derailed by Grand Valley State…
Great season Eagles; see you all in Florence next year.

AP VOTERS: For the AP voters that voted Southern California “Number One” for the first three weeks of season, and continued to do your best to keep them hanging around the top ten until the Stanford Cardinal rode them like a rented tractor.
You should ALL be ashamed of yourselves.

FLORIDA: A lot has been said this past week about Tim Tebow
and it would be easy for me to jump on the bandwagon, but you expect more from me.
I respect a player that is passionate about winning and losing.
He is a Class act, nothing but class.

LOUISVILLE: I am glad Charlie Strong finally gets a shot at being a head coach on a big stage.
Not because he’s black, but because he is one hell of a damn football coach.
The Cardinals got a fine man and one great coach.
Congratulations
:
CLEMSON: The fact C. J. Spiller wasn’t invited to the Heisman Trophy ceremony is another illustrated example of how little the national sports writers really know about college football.

NCAA: Soooooooo When can we expect to hear something (anything) about the “Investigation” into Reggie Bush and the Southern California Trojans?

FLORIDA STATE: Now that “Father Time” has retired from Seminole University, it’s Jimbo time in Tallahassee. When I read that again, it sounds like his tenure should come with a bag of peanuts.
Never mind…

MICHIGAN: I have some Good News for Wolverine Fans!
With the economy being what it is….
You don’t have to worry about traveling to a Bowl game (again) this year!
Think of the savings!
Glad I could help…

EMAIL QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

Q: Dear Sir,
I just want to start this off by saying that I’m appalled by the accusation made by former Notre Dame Head Coach, Charlie Weis. It’s bad enough that this man cannot and will not simply exit gracefully from South Bend, but he also has to attempt to drag down and great man like University of Southern California Head Coach, Pete Carroll. I do want to set the record straight so all will not have the wrong impression. The “graduate” student in question is not a female, but, rather a young man near and dear to Pete’s heart. Attached is a photograph of the innocent victims as they stare longingly into one another’s eyes and share a passionate moment.
So, as you can see, if it’s a dude, he’s not really, technically “cheating” on his wife.
Jimmy – Long Beach, California

A: This explains Coach Pete’s love of Kenny Chesney records.

Q: Mr Wizard,
I am so disgusted with you and all of you media people making fun of my absolutely FAVORITE player, Tim Tebow. I just want you to know that if Tim Tebow was crying then there would have been flooding in Atlanta. Tim Tebow doesn’t do things like all of us normal people he does EVERYTHING better. If Tim Tebow wanted to win that game then my absolute FAVORITE football player would have made my absolute FAVORITE football team win about 55 to nothing. But he didn’t. And do you know why? CAUSE HE AINT SELFISH!!! He’s done won him a Heisman and a couple of National Championships and he wanted to share all his good fortune with them boys from Alabama. Did you see how he didn’t get that many yards running the ball? Did you see how he generously threw that ball to the Crimpson Tide fella in the end zone towards the end of the game? That proves it!!!
So LEAVE MY HEART THROB TIM TEBOW ALONE!!!
Go Gators FOREVER!!!
Tracy in Homassassa

A: Tracy don’t get your Daisy Dukes is a twist; Timmy is nothing but class in my book.

Q: Dear Sir,
As a loyal alumnus of the University of Tennessee, I must take issue with the recent reports from the New York Times and other media outlets regarding the Universities use of “Hostesses” to assist with the recruiting effort. Just for the record, these comely young ladies are as innocent and pure as the driven snow and represent the wholesomeness of the university. Further, these ladies voluntarily travel to various recruit’s home towns to represent our fine institution at their high school football games and also, greet and assist young men on their recruiting trips to Knoxville in satisfying their various needs. In no way is this a violation of any rules. Here is a recent photo of these fine young ladies in their greeting attire, dressed to impress, as they await another young recruit to arrive on the field at Rocky Top.
Beavis Bowers – Knoxville, Tennessee

A: My first thought….
You all need to get a dental school in Tennessee…

Q: Dear Sir,
I don’t know if you’ve heard about it or not, but there is a story out stating that Coach Mark Mangino verbally abused his players. Sir, I was one of those players and I come forward to you with this letter as additional proof of what an absolute brute that man is.
One day while I was moussing my hair, this overgrown orangutan came in and jostled me in the middle of combing and preening!! I mean, I spent over 20 minutes trying to get it just right and he hits my elbow and makes me mess up this masterpiece!! Then, he had the unmitigated gall to say, “Hey pretty-boy, you’re boyfriend waiting on you or something?” Well, needless to say, I was outraged. On another occasion, while in the dressing room, he came upon me from behind and popped me with my jock strap!! I stood there humiliated and red-faced while all my teammates laughed and giggled.
This degrading behavior will no longer be tolerated by me or friends on the team.
I told my mom and she said I should write you.
So what do you think Mr. Wizard? Is he an animal or what!?!?
Philo Van Assderbilt – Lawrence, Kansas

A: I think you and your teammates that complained about such treatment wouldn’t last long enough at a Southeastern Conference School to find the damn men’s room.

Q: Dear Sir –
I am a Private Investigator here in Los Angeles.
I don’t know who else to turn to with the evidence I gathered…
Below is a transcript of a recent conversation I recorded between two well known coaches with a “bionic ear” during a pregame.
Picture is enclosed…
Anonymous – Los Angeles, California

Carroll: You know, Charlie, I’ve got this place up in Malibu….

Weis: Reeeeeeealllly?

Carroll: Well, yeah….and you know you’re kind of cute in a Ned Beatty kind of way…..
Can you squeal like a pig?

Weis: Yessssssssss, oh yesssssss…… By the way, how do you like my hourglass figure?
It took me 20 minutes to get my belt this tight….. all for YOU Petey!!!

A: One word: Creepy

THE PICK

Saturday December 12th

Army and Navy
These aren’t two of the best teams in the nation
But they do have some of the best young men in the nation.
Be sure and watch the pregame pageantry
And don’t miss the traditional post game action.
It will make you feel good about America
MIDSHIPMEN 31-17

Enjoy your Weekend
There is more to come….
So Stay Tuned…

RTR
MEB