I am a filling in for what’s his name while he is in Jerk-a-damn-Stan or whatever it’s called; I believe that’s in Arkansas. But never mind that.

As most of you know by now I got myself arrested at the South Carolina Cooter Festival, but before any of you start jumping to conclusions, let me tell you: It wasn’t my damn fault.

I was a feeling no pain walking over to see the Miss Cooter Queen and a Highway Patrolman stopped me and asked why I was Hooping and Hollering.

I told him that I was the Greatest Tennessee Vol fan on the planet and that Vols was Number Damn One!

That Patrolman asked me if I wanted a “Wood Shampoo”?

Well, I thought that he was a giving away samples, so I said; “Hell Yeah!”

Next thing I know I wake up in the Spartanburg Jail with a punk knot on my head big enough to hang a hat on.

NOTE TO SELF: Don’t be a smartass with a South Carolina Highway Patrolman.

Yawl just hang in there, I will have some College Football updates for you real soon!

Hootie! – Out!